Granny Panties After a C-section - My Husband Hates Them - What Would You Do??

I know it's not funny to you, and I'm sorry you're going through this, but I would laugh my @ss off in my fiance's face if he told me what kind of underwear to wear on a daily basis... one, if I want to wear granny panties, I'M WEARING GRANNY PANTIES!! Two, guess who's in charge of laundry? ME!! Wouldn't it be a SHAME if ALL of his boxers mysteriously vanished in the laundry, and I went out and bought him nothing but TIGHTY WHITIES?! ;)

I would tell him to kiss my a** with my granny panties on, if that's all he can think about after you had a c-section.

How about getting some retro pinup style underwear - go sexy! But it will still be comfy for you. Try ordering one pair and see if he likes it. :)

I also had to wear granny style underwear for a while. I hated it but it was comfortable when I was so sore. I'm so sorry you have nerve damage. That sounds awful.

Here's one pair I quickly found doing a quick google search:
http://www.babygirlboutique.com/scanty-panty-blk.html

Tell him his 'sack' is flappy and that it disgusts you. As in,"For God's sake, don't make me look at your saggy, hairy scrotum!"

I say that in jest to make a point. How immature and childish to assume that his wife needs to suffer in PAIN so that he can be visually stimulated. YES, most men are visual creatures. BUT, most men are also so happy at the thought of even having sex that granny panties are just a blip on the radar! If he can't get past GP's in the heat of the moment then he doesn't deserve sex with you! He needs to grow up and I'm sorry he is so insensitive.

What would I do? Tell him to bugger off and be as comfortable and pain free as possible in my granny panties. Then I MIGHT suprise him with an occasional sexy panty on special occasions.

I would say to him, 'Let me gut you open, pull out something the size of a small watermelon from your abdomen, and you let me know how you feel about my 'grannie panties' then!'

I don't care what size I am, or what medical procedures have taken place...no one but ME gets to decide what under-things I wear! Men are jerks. Anyone can say "oh, they are visual creatures" all they want, it doesn't excuse "jackass-ness" in my book. Quit trying to make excuses for them. Geeze.

I don't get to decide what sort of drawers he wears, or anyone in my house over the age of 4 (and even then....the kid really did decide!). Sorry...I would never take one for the team here. Wear what makes you feel physically comfortable as you heal...do the "great panties experiment", and buy one of several different shapes, sizes and fabrics, if it makes you feel sexier for YOU....and tell him to get over himself!

Sorry...just my humble but strong opinion on the matter....

Your husband's attitude is uglier than any granny panty ever made. He was honest ( I hope he realizes in time that honesty sometimes comes with a price), and now you need to be honest with him. Tell him how he has made you feel.

Hugs, A.. There is no excuse for his behavior and I am sorry that he hurt you so deeply. I am so sorry that you are in pain every day.

Wear your granny panties proudly. You earned them the hard way.

Oh, and because we ladies like to look nice FOR OURSELVES.......I think boy short undies are so cute! But be sure to try them AFTER your husband apologizes for his despicable behavior.

three cheers for ellis for that amazing answer!
and a huge kick in the gonads to your dh. yeah, it's great that he *shared* his feelings *honestly* but his priorities are way out of whack.
excuse me, i need to go kiss my husband again.
khairete
S.

I also discovered after my c-section that until my incision healed, I had to wear granny panties. All my regular undies laid right across my incision, and that wasn't happening.

I did eventually get back to my regular undies, but I can definitely relate. Your hubby is being a jackass, sorry, about this issue. What makes the difference what kind of panties you have on before you get it on, since they end up coming off anyhow! Geez!

My only suggestion, although I am shuddering at myself for even suggesting something to appease your insensitive husband, but if you anticipate that you will be having relations, could you put on some less *granny* panties, at least for the few minutes before you ditch them?

Or, have you tried other kinds of undies? Boy shorts, perhaps? Or a lower cut panty in a different fabric, like microfiber? Microfiber is SOOO soft, it might not bother you as much. You could also go a size larger, just so they aren't tight at all. Another possibility is a thong... I find that some thongs come up a little higher in the front (they make low rise ones too, but I've seen them, and own some that aren't low rise.) If you can manage that, what man doesn't love his lady in a thong? I'm thinking if you really do some reasearch, look around, and try some different things, you might find that you don't have to resolve yourself to granny panties just yet.

Your husband doesn't deserve to be appeased on this one since he's been a real jerk about the issue, but in the interest of keeping things in the sexy dept. a little less granny, well, I digress.

ETA
I LOVE Ellis's answer. Perfect. And Grandma T, God bless her soul! She never fails to crack me up!!

sounds like your husband is kind of being a douche. Would he rather you be in pain all day? Maybe you should have him watch Bridget Jones' Diary. (she has a funny scene with Hugh Grant's character and her granny panties).

WOW, I'm really sorry you have such an insensitive husband. I assume w/ his comment he is perfect in every way and there not a stitch of clothing you don't hate of his :) Sometimes a gentle reminder of pointing out something about him that doesn't entice you can help make your point.

No I don't wear granny panties, although just before my c-section I was warned by a friend that it may take months to recover. The day I gave birth via c-section I started walking around the hospital when my babies were sleeping. That helped a lot. You can't even tell I had a c-section and the scar is invisible. I also don't have a raised part around where the c-section was done.
I wear boy shorts because they come up a lil higher and they're not as tight. give them a try.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a c-section Oct. 1, 2010 and had to wear granny panties and hated them.. but that's what worked. I have, however, been able to find cotton thongs like from the GAP that are not as tight and go up to my belly button. I like them much better than granny panties personally. I also like the idea of a boy short or female boxer.
However, I think there is a much bigger issue here which is your husbands insensitivity to the major pain that you went through and continue to go through on a daily basis to give him a beautiful child.. I think you need to have a talk with him (not just before sex) about how this makes you feel and how unsexy you feel every day being in pain and that you would greatly appreciate his support in solving this problem. You guys could work together to come to a solution... maybe you put on a cute comfortable nighty if you are starting to "get it on" as you say.. or ask him what IS something that would turn him on? Show him that you are willing to try to accommodate his needs and then ask him to try harder to accommodate yours. Good luck. I hate C-sections:(

I have not had a C-Section but I have to say your husband being a bit insensitive. Don't ya think?. Talk to him again about how his comments make you feel. If he loves you he'll back off!

.

I remember the granny panties after my c-section! Tell your husband to get over it and deal with it. You will soon be back into your regular panties and then his world can be happy again. I mean really? You have a physical problem right now and I think you are dealing with it the best you can. I think you should also let him know that his comments hurts your feelings. I hope you are feeling better soon. Good Luck!

I LOVE my 'granny panties' lol.

First, they are comfy. Second, they are cotton, and they 'breathe', and nylon/synthetic stuff causes irritation for me. Third, I do not get my undies confused with my 3 daughters undies. And fourth, it gives my 'significant other' a gift opportunity for me for sexy panties 'briefly' on! lol

I get the 100 cotton high cut on thigh...and have had no complaints from him...truly! BTW...my first was an emergency c section...then 4 vbacs...then twins emergency c. The 'higher' panties still make my tummy feel protected...14 years later.

Best luck!
Michele/cat

I didn't read the other post, but I have nerve damage from my c-section too. Not as bad as yours, but still very tender at incision point. I found underwear at V.'s Secret and JCPenney that have a soft lace waist band. I don't feel it at all, and I can still feel sexy. Have you also tried the hipsters and boy shorts underwear? They may have the cut you need, but not so big and granny looking. My husband told me the same thing about the granny panties, but I told him that if he wanted some he had to get used to them. He did and we don't talk about them anymore.

I agree with the posts below so I won't repeat. But there are some very sexy "granny panties" as he calls them at Victoria's Secret. Even though I don't agree with what he has said, maybe you could buy a new pair maybe the cheaky kind. They still come up high but sexier with lace. After I had my two girls I wore granny panties for a while and my husband just teased me about them. Good luck.

Quite honestly, this post makes me mad - I'm totally mad your husband right now!! I would tell mine to kiss my granny panty butt! Truly though, I would tell him how much it hurts your feelings. Ugh... I'm seriously annoyed at your husband!

HaHa I have had 2 c-sections and I have granny panties too! But for me I only need to wear them at first....like the first month or so after the c-section. The incision is just so tender I wear them cause they are way more comfortable. So I know how you feel. But if you are always tender and have to always wear the granny panties then I can see how that would be no fun. I say just get into bed naked before having sex so he doesn't have to see them or put on a cute little sexy outfit before bed.

Hanro is a company from Switzerland. Their lingerie is all 100% cotton and no seams..

Here is a link, see if this will work.. Also google sexy high waisted panties or tap panties and you will find a ton of choices..

Otherwise give him a blindfold and tell him to use his imagination..

If my husband told me during foreplay that he didn't like looking at my underwear, it would be a cold day in hell before he ever saw me in anything less than a snowsuit and parka.

Underwear should be what YOU feel comfortable wearing, and your husband needs to keep his negative comments to himself.

I've been wearing granny panties lately because im pregnant and am too fat for my little thongs. Oh man does my hubby whine about it. I have a few thongs that are bigger, looser, and very comfortable so i try to wear those when i know my hubby will see. I'd try doing that. Don't let it hurt your feelings. Guys like what they like and granny panties are not sexy.

I have had 2 c-sections also, January 2008 and June 2009. I cannot wear anything but "granny panties" they hurt my scar too much. I have come to realize the my days of sexy underwear are over, which is sad because I am only 24. Fortunatly for me, my husband doesn't care. I still get my bras and underwear at Victorias Secret, so they aren't terrible ugly. I still to this day cannot feel my stomach from my belly button and below.

How hurtful for you that your husband cannot get over the underwear, I am so sorry that he is making you feel like this.

That's mean for him to say that to you after all you have and still are going through. I'm amazed that you are even having any sex with him at all. He's asking for resentment that will affect you both for a long time if not resolved. I really would go far to the other side and wear them around him ALL the time and make sure he sees them. And the next time he wanted to have sex he wouldn't have to look father than his right hand. Ouch.
I did not have a C section but do have the same kind of scar from an ectopic pregnancy surgery several years ago. It bugged me for YEARS! Really it felt creepy for about 2 years. Some areas were very sensitive and other areas I couldn't feel at all. I wore comfy granny panties until I felt better.
Sorry that you got your feeling hurt and hope it gets better for you :)
C.

My nerve damage wasn't as extensive as yours but I do remember after both of my sections, especially my second one, it was sensitive for a while. It's been almost 5 years now since my second one and that sensitivity has largely gone away. Oddly enough though, all "surface feeling" in an area right above my scar is gone. It's such a weird feeling. So give yourself a few years. Some of the damage may repair itself on it's own as time goes by.

As for the granny panties, my husband took the opposite approach. He actually likes them. That's not to say he doesn't like my skimpy stuff too, but I was surprised when he liked the grannies. He says he likes them because they're kind of like a badge of honor showing what I went through to get our girls into the world. My boys arrived the old fashioned way (much better!) but my oldest daughter was an emergency section; we were so close to losing her. There's other stupid unfeeling stuff my husband has done though so I totally understand where you're coming from.

Sections are major surgery and if your husband is going to be such an unfeeling beast about it, than he can just go without for a while until he can pull his head from where the sun don't shine. I remember when my husband had his vasectomy and he was like a baby for a week over it (not major surgery) but when I'd come home with our second daughter's section (major surgery!) and she was still less than a month old he complained because I was letting our three other children (the oldest of which was only 4) destroy the place. I should have it spotless! Grrrr.

If your husband is anything like mine, he's going to have see something "professional" to get it through is head; he won't just take your word for it. Completely ridiculous, but there it is. I've lost count of how many I told my husband something, he completely discounted it but as soon as a "professional" or even a close friend told that to him, he was right there. So find some articles discussing why it's not good to inflame nerve damage etc. and maybe that will get through his thick skull. If not, then he'll have to be good friends with Mr. Hand for a while.

Missouri MK, LMAO, thank you so much for that because I haven't laughed in several days!!! That is greatness, perfect respose. Honestly A. L., I would be pissed if my husband acted like that after what we already have to put our bodies through having children. I wouldn't give him any props for sharing his feelings. I think it is rude and some things are better kept to yourself!

tell him next time to have his stomach cut open! but seriously - I had my first c-section 12 years ago. My c's are the vertical ones so yes it's granny panties for quite a few months out of necessity! and the problem between my c 12 years ago and the one 17 months ago...pants are cut lower!!! UGHH!!! My incision also got infected from the stitches or adhesive from steri strips, so had to wear a pad inside my panties along that line! But that made some pants more comfortable because there was that cushion instead of waistlines rubbing. I wouldn't give up yet. My last c-section was Sept 17 2009 - and I remember around Christmas talking about my incision still bugging me but somedays I can tolerate other panties. There just panties - tell him it's cheap birth control!

While your husband's comments are annoying, it still sounds like you might be looking for an alternative. Have you ever tried Hanky Pankys? They are available at Nordstrom, and I believe Victoria Secret has something similar. Anyway, stretching lace undies with no elastic bands. They are awesome and come in one size fits all (yes, that's how you know they are comfy). Wore them all through pregnancy and you can hardly tell you have anything on. And they're super cute! Might give them a shot.

Your husband, what a man! I've had 3 c-sections but have never experienced the pain you are having. I can wear low rise everything with no problems. I suppose it is very possible that you do have nerve damage and if your doctor says there isn't anything to do about it, then I suppose that may be true. I don't know. I am sorry I don't have any positive advice to offer except that your husband is very insensitive. I mean, what kind of underwear does he wear and do YOU like them? Have you considered asking another doctor for another opinion? Just a thought....

Well, the good news is that the sensitivity may die down in the future. I had sever nerve damage and sensitivity in my finger in 2005 and it's nowhere near as bad as it was before.

I'm sorry your HUSBAND is struggling so much with you undergarments. Geeze Louise. I don't want to be h*** o* the guy but MEN. Yeesh!

There are some very sexy panties out there that might do the trick. They are kind of a vintage pin-up kind of sexy and if you show him online the ones that you are ordering (on the models, he might get an idea that they aren't granny panties but very trendy and sexy) then you might be able to find some comfy undies that keep your sex life in tact until you can wear your usual string bikini (I jest).

Also, I recommend getting only ones in dark colors (the white ones or ones with flowers are a little oldish) and a little lace goes a long way (as long as it is comfortable).

Google: High waist lace briefs and check out what comes up. I am sure you can reach a happy compromise and I venture to guess knowing that your husband isn't appalled by your choice of underwear will do a world of good for the old self esteem. Also, boy shorts are a sexy option if you can find some with a waistband high enough.

Good luck :-)

Updated

Well, the good news is that the sensitivity may die down in the future. I had sever nerve damage and sensitivity in my finger in 2005 and it's nowhere near as bad as it was before.

I'm sorry your HUSBAND is struggling so much with you undergarments. Geeze Louise. I don't want to be h*** o* the guy but MEN. Yeesh!

There are some very sexy panties out there that might do the trick. They are kind of a vintage pin-up kind of sexy and if you show him online the ones that you are ordering (on the models, he might get an idea that they aren't granny panties but very trendy and sexy) then you might be able to find some comfy undies that keep your sex life in tact until you can wear your usual string bikini (I jest).

Also, I recommend getting only ones in dark colors (the white ones or ones with flowers are a little oldish) and a little lace goes a long way (as long as it is comfortable).

Google: High waist lace briefs and check out what comes up. I am sure you can reach a happy compromise and I venture to guess knowing that your husband isn't appalled by your choice of underwear will do a world of good for the old self esteem. Also, boy shorts are a sexy option if you can find some with a waistband high enough.

Good luck :-)

Ummm - when was the last time your DH had a baby? You are the one that has suffered the pain (and the joy) of giving birth, and as soon as he does the same, he can comment on your underwear!

If my hubby (of 23 years) EVER said something like that to me, it would be quite some time before he would be seeing my undies again :)

Don't beat yourself up -- I think it is his problem, not yours. Good luck.

Well your husband has to more sensitive to the situation. Have to add though that most men are sexually visually stimulated, it is inexcusable for your husband to hurt you but what he said but try to see that he wants to see you as sexy and he just likes you with out the panties :)

Sorry that you are still so sensitive on that part of your belly. Do let him know that what he said about the panties did hurt you.

Hi there! I've had a c-section also. My twin girls were born six weeks early because I developed pre-eclampsia, so I feel your pain. Try the high-rise sporty briefs by Hanes Her Way. (I usually wear a string bikini and these look very similar because they have the stretchy band instead of the string.) I wear these briefs for softball because my regular underwear just don't cut it and I don't have time for the wedgies! *lol* Check them out. They go all the way past your belly button and provide everywhere support. Good luck and I sure hope your nerve damage gets better.

P.S. ~Sounds like hubby was a little insensitive to your plight. Ask him to read your question and the answers so he can assess the damage done by his careless remark.

P.P.S. ~I think he'll definitely like the high-rise briefs better than the granny panties! Keep us posted please...

Well, until he has birthed two babies via a c-section, then he can complain about the granny panties. I'm so sorry he's reacted this way. I wear granny panties after giving birth simply because I don't look right wearing any other kind.

I'm sorry you are having so much pain after your c-section. I too had quite a bit of pain, and it took about a year or so for it to go away. There is a bit of numbness around my scar, but no more pain. I hope you soon will feel no more pain.

As far as your husband.... He should be thankful you've even given him a chance to complain about your under-things! My husband didn't get any "getting it on" for a little more than six months! I found it way too painful. It took nearly a year for him to get it with any regularity. It's hard enough to feel sexy when you're hurting and it's even harder when you've had a c-section and caring for a newborn! It would be nice if your husband could comment on the things he finds sexy about you, making you feel good about yourself! I hope you find an answer to eliminating the pain you feel!

Alright Melissa G! Took the words right out of my mouth. Tell him if he doesn't like them then don't look! Men can be so insensitive sometimes. He should be grateful that you gave him 2 beautiful children. Men should be able to give birth just once and it should be our choice what they do... natural or c-section. I can't imagine that one.... they act like they are dying when they are sick can you imagine how they would be giving birth! LOL

Heck, I wore granny panties since the day I gave birth to the first of our four kids! I would put some humor into the situation by telling him to kiss your granny a@$ or something. If he still picks on you, tell him it really puts you out of the mood...for good. I exercise, eat well, and have enough confidence to wear whatever panties works.

My husband used to make fun of the poo I did while pushing #2 out. Just like you, I told him it hurt my feelings many times, but to no avail. #3, there was no poo and therefore no discussion. But when I was getting ready to push #4, I told the doctor and nurses "sorry if I end up pooing", and I told on my husband to them (I told them he made fun of me). That made him look like a real jerk. So then, yes, I did poo with #4, and he hasn't said a single word.

Respect, sister!

We all have to do the grandma pantie thing after the C-section. Tell your husband to take a chill pill. I have generally been able to get rid of them by 8 weeks though for sure by 12 weeks.

you're not happy about wearing them either. tell your husband to suck it up. you had to, now its his turn.

Most of my friends who had c-sections gave up under-wear all together or wore very skimpy bikini panties afterwards.

What about LACE panties. I LLLLLLLLLLOVE THEM. They come in everything from thong to full coverage. NO elastic!!! He might find them very appealing!

Tell your husband he's a jackass. The day he starts wearing an uncomfortable thong for your enjoyment is the day you'll wear anything uncomfortable for his.

Have you checked into acupuncture? It's a really great for nerve issues.