Grandparents Divorcing - Flint,MI

Updated on June 12, 2011
J.S. asks from Flint, MI
6 answers

My 5 year old and I live with my parents. They are divorcing and grandpa is moving out. His grandma and I both mentioned grandpa will be moving out soon and he started to cry and ask why. My son loves his grandpa-I need some advice on what to tell him and how to explain it in a way he will understand. Grandpa is not moving far and they will visit each other at grandpa's house. Any thoughts on this?

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So What Happened?

The move has not taken place yet. I am new to this website and was surprised by and very appreciative of all the responses. Thank's to all for the helpful advise. I will post later with what happened as it might help someone else with a similar situation.

More Answers

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is hard. I am sorry for the difficulties! I can't imagine how hard it must be to explain it to a child. Try and tell him that grandma and grandpa still love each other just need to live in different houses? Try to explain that there is nothing wrong with it and they both still love him and each other. He probably thinks he won't see him anymore. Maybe you guys can help grandpa move so he is involved and knows where grandpa is going?

2 moms found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Provo on

Maybe he will feel better if he can have his own room at grandpa's house. When my X and I divorced we made sure that my son had a room at both places so he would always feel wanted. Him and grandpa can have special male bonding time.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Visalia on

tell ur 5 yr old, grandpa has to go home now.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Google "how to tell kids about divorce". There are tons of good articles on this subject. I wish I would have done that before we told our kids, it was horrible. Good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

Don't underestimate what a big deal this will be in his life!!! He's going to need lots of reassurance, love and a listening ear and shoulder to cry on!

I would give him all the facts about where Grandpa will live now and how it will affect his relationship with the family. The details of the divorce are not appropriate of course, but a general statement of why Grandma and Grandpa are no longer married would be helpful. Grandpa did some things to hurt Grandma, or Grandpa and Grandma could not get along anymore and they don't want to be fighting all the time... Ask him if he has any questions and be willing to answer whatever he asks. If his behavior changes it would be good to take him to a counselor who works with kids. Don't assume he'll pull through, do whatever it takes to deal with his feelings.

I don't know what happened with you and your son's dad, but he might be worried that no home is stable and who else is going to leave him... Be aware that this is a normal connection of events and needs to be dealt with. His relationship with his dad is what he'll assume his relationship with his Grandpa will be, quite likely.

Best wishes, I know this is tough on everyone, and probably you as well. Don't stuff your feelings just to be strong for your son, find someone you can talk to as well so you can deal with the fall out of this situation.

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