14 answers

Grandmother's Who Are Raising Grandchildren

Is there any other grandmother's out there that have their grandchildren living with them? I would love to connect and share this experience.

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Hiya G.:

Commiserate with you as well. My husband and I are helping to raise my two daughters and their children age 3. They were born 4 weeks apart and are cousins only they are being raised as twins… WOW is all I can say. I am fifty years of age myself.

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I have a friend who just adopted their grand daughter yesterday yahoo we were so happy for them ____@____.com she would love to talk

I am 53 and have my son and 5 yr old grandson living with me and my husband. He has been here since birth his mom left when he was 9 months old. She is local and see's him occassionally. My grandson has developmental problems and is very hard to handle. He is mostly a very happy child. But the behavioral issues are really starting to increase at home. His dad is Bi-polar and mom is ADHD so not surprising he has these issues. I got him screened and in a school program for half a day since he was 2 1/2, but he is still not ready for Kindergarten. I really had to be pushy to get him help as his parents were not wanting to have him even tested. He has recently officially diagnosed by a developmental pediatrician which I have also had to push for. His diagnosis is Microcephaly. He is having lots of behavioral problems especially being cruel to our two dogs. He also chants curse words. He actually does try to behave and not say these bad words but just has no impulse control.
I went through so much with my son and didn't think I would be doing this again at my age. It has been hard. My son is in an aprentiship program and will be done and moving out with my grandson in May or June. I know I will miss Jordan so much and he calls me his Gammy-mommy and we are so close it will be hard on him as well and I am not so sure my son will be able to handle him with no help he does so little now it is scary to think of them off on their own and olny time will tell. I am just going to hope and pray for the best.

August 21st

An Update: My son and grandson moved out on May 16th just two miles away and I am still watching my grandson while his dad works. He is still hard to handle but I love the fact that I have my weekday nights back. My grandson usually spends a night or two with us during the week. They are doing so good on their own much better than I had thought they would do. My son has really stepped up I am happy to say.

Now my Nephew (40) is staying with us for a while we seem to have a revolving door for stray relatives and friends but I would not have it any other way. My grandson was bummed to lose his room for a while but recovered when I told him he could sleep in my room on his cot, he mostly starts in my bed then my husband will put him on the cot and he stays the rest of the night. If my husband is out of town he just sleeps in my bed all night as I can't lift him with my bad back.

I, too, am a grandmother raising grandchildren. I am 61 years old and raising a 16 year old girl (we have had her for 4 years)and a 15month old boy who we have had since he was discharged from the hospital when he was born. They are 2 of my daughter's 4 children. The other two live with their paternal grandparents.

Even though this is not what I had planned for my retirement, I am trying to make the best of the situation. Our granddaughter is a good kid, involved in school activities and getting decent grades. She is some help with the baby, but I don't want her to have to do too much in raising him (she did a lot with her other two younger siblings when she still lived with her mom).

The baby has turned out to be our joy. After we got through the 2 a.m. feedings and sleep deprivation, I have adjusted to having him around. Don't get me wrong. Chasing after a toddler all day when I'm in my sixties is tiring and challenging, and at 8 p.m. when he goes to bed I am done for the night, but I wouldn't trade my life with anyone.

Does your daughter assume most of the responsibilities for her child, or does she dump it on you? I find that my biggest resentment is that my daughter has cheated me out of the pleasures of being a grandma since I have to be parent to her children.

I am raising a 14 year old boy whose mother is an alcoholic, his father is dead and his mother is getting a divorce from his stepdad. He has become angry and defient when asked to do anything he doesn't want too. I love him dearly. Most of the time he is sweet and loving except occassionally when he has ome of this episodes. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Although I am not a grandmother I can speak from simiilar experience. I am the mother of 3 kids (boys - 7 & 4, Girl - 1) who lives in a house with my husband, mother and father, and a great aunt who turns 96 this month.

Although at times it is very difficult to have 4 generations (and multiple mothers) in the same house, I love it!

My children have tons of love and affection every day from everyone and it is great to have everyone able to pitch in and help. I personally think it is great that my children are growing up with so many people because they get a real sense of family and can experience first hand the sharing of responsibilites.

I am thankful every day that my mother asked me to come live with her (I moved back home in my mid twenties). It will not always be an easy road and both you and your daughter may end up butting heads when it comes to the discipline issues but it is definitely worth it. Family is the biggest gift in the world and I am sure you will be delighted to watch your grandson grow. They are not little long enough!

Good luck to all of you and please let me know how it turns out. It is always nice to have a perspective from the other side of the situation.

Hi, G.. Kudos to you. My parents had to raise my brother's three boys when their mother left all of them. My parents were older and had raised 7 children when my nephews and brother came to live with them. Soon after moving in my brother suffered a double brain aneurysm and is permanently disabled, so that left raising the boys pretty much up to my parents. All the boys consider my Mom their mother. They have all grown up to be great young men and are now raising families of their own. My Mom passed away five years ago. Good luck.

I'm not a grandmother but my mom has custody of my nephew since he was born and he is 10 now. She has not been in good health the past several years so I have helped out quite a bit. They live with me for 5 years.

His mom 16 when he was born and didn't take to motherhood. Then she became involved in some stuff and was away for almost 5 years.

She is home now and has a new baby but mom still has custody of him under the same roof with her.

I'm sure she would love to talk with someone else in the same boat. If interested email me and I will pass the info on.

Yes there are, and probably many more then us. We have a granddaughter that was abandoned by her mother at the age of two months. We were in our fortys then and now 14 years later the grandaughter is 14 and we are in our late fiftys. We adopted the dear girl, so she is actually our daughter now. This is very hard on us at times having an active teenager (and all the stuff now that there is for young people to decide about). It really is not natural for older adults to be raising a teenager (or younger child) but others have done this also. You are giving someone something that they would not have had without you.A good and stable home we could share with someone who needed that. I'm glad to know someone else is going thru the same.

I'm a grandmonther of three, and I had the joy of raising my oldest granddaughter for the first 3 years of her life, with her mother living with me for only one year. It was hard, when I was still raising my two youngest daughter and two cousins at the time, to keep her from calling me mommy. I felt like she was one of my own kids, she vacation with us, I did her birthday parties, and christmas. On some weekends she would go to her fathers house. She went to live with her father shortly after she turn three, and he has been raising her every since, she's eight.

Hello G.,
I have had plenty of experience in helping my two daughters, both been divorced now , raise their 6 children. We have custody of one grandson, who's father was abusive. My daughter is now divorced from him, but at the time that the courts granted us custody, she was still going back and forth. We've had him for going on 3 years now. The position of Grandparents to Guardians' makes a difference in the relationship. Instead of just visiting grandma and grandpa, he lives here and has rules, chores, etc..And has also had to have counseling. I've enjoyed all 11 grandchildren and watching them grow from infants. Our youngest grandchild in now 9 years old. I've raised 4 of my own, a military family , and it does my heart good when my children come to me for advice, and they 'understand' more of what I went through raising them , many times alone with husband out to sea. I did it with the grace of God helping me each day. No one is born with a perfect Manual for raising children, and each child is different, with their own personalities. If I can be of any help I am here.
TRISH (P. Groman)

Hi! I am a forty-one-year-old grandmother of an 18 month old (grandson, as well). My daughter is also living with us (my husband, and our twin sons age 10) along with her son, and the father abandoned her, too. I would LOVE to share and to help eachother through this adventure in our lives. :)

Hiya G.:

Commiserate with you as well. My husband and I are helping to raise my two daughters and their children age 3. They were born 4 weeks apart and are cousins only they are being raised as twins… WOW is all I can say. I am fifty years of age myself.


My name is D. R. and I live in South Georgia. I am raising my 21 month old grandson. Im new at this and need all the help I can get. My email is ____@____.com

I know your plight. I host a monthly support group for grandmothers/relatives that are raising children whose parents are unable for various reasons to do so. We meet every 2nd Thursday from 5:30 - 7:00 pm at the Life Enrichment Center Norfolk. Everyone is welcome to attend.

If you are interested and would like to attend another group, contact me and I will give you places and times of other support groups that meet.

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