Grandchild Cries When Leaving My House

That is so sad. I'd tell her she cried too and never got slapped so why is she doing this? Ask her if she really thinks her 3 year old is being naughty and slapping her is going to help. You're somewhat doing her a favor so I'd tell her in a stern voice that she can not do that. Where is the child's father? What about her father/your son speaking to her about this? Do you have any idea how your grandaughter treats the child at home? Your gd is probably a bit jealous and maybe embarrassed so have you talked to her about this?

Your GD needs to understand that this is pretty normal for this age when they are having fun and don't want it to end. At 3, I spent many a time dragging and carrying my daughter off the playground, out of playdates, out of McDonald's, etc. with her freaking out when it was really time to go and be done. They have a hard time with transitions, and slapping or spanking her is not going to make it any better - it only makes it worse. Little children feed off their parents negative emotions and tension and a child that acts up all the time might be reacting to what is going on around her. My daughter is now 5, and she's gotten much better about leaving when it is time to leave, but even just yesterday, when we did some paint-your-own pottery and it was time to be done and go home, she just about lost her mind.

I know that you don't want to tell your granddaughter how to parent, but in this case, I think I would intervene and say something on your great-grandchild's behalf. Tell her she used to scream and cry and carry on when it was time to leave places, but her mother never physically disciplined her in any way, so she needs to rethink her methods and motives. Heck, when we visited my grandmother when I was a kid (who lived 2 hours away, so it was 4 or 5 weekends a year) and it was time to go, I cried until I was 6 or 7 years old. I was just sad to be leaving her and would miss her. Nobody spanked me or made me feel ashamed about it.

If it were me, next time it happened I'd let her take the child home so everyone calms down - you can not try to talk about it while the child is screaming and the mother is pissed off over this extremely small matter.

I would then call her on the phone a bit later and tell her "I think we should take a break from having SuzieQ at my house. If feel bad that she gets hit when she cries when it's time to leave. I don't want to be the cause of her getting hit." In this case, you are not trying to tell her how to raise her children, she can choose what she wants, but you also have the right to choose what you will tollerate.

Next time your granddaughter can take her little one to run errands and watch the s*it hit the fan when she hits her in the grocery store for crying.

I hate spanking and hitting children. There are so many better and more productive ways to control their behavior without smacking them around. If she is hitting her infront of you like that, it makes me wonder what happens behind closed doors. Yikes. I wouldn't want to go home to that either.

Maybe the child would not cry if you took them home rather than your GD picking them up. For whatever reason, sometimes that works.

You could always tell your GD how you feel - that you almost don't want to do the visits because it breaks your heart to see the baby be slapped just because she's having fun and doesn't want to leave. Sounds like your GD takes it personally like she feels like the child likes you better. Your GD needs to grow up. Tell her that.

We too live across the street from Grandma and Grandpa. Both of my kids do this when its time to leave. My niece is infamous for it. What I tell them and my niece is that if we don't leave with smiles, then mom and Dad will say no the next time you want to come, because they don't like it when you cry about going home.

I do NOT agree with your Granddaughter slapping her kids. Have I gotten mad at my kids over not going home? Yes. Have I spanked them once or twice for not following directions and spending 20 mins with tears to get shoes and jackets on? Yes, but I don't slap them. That is just wrong.

While it isn't your problem, you can be the solution. Talk to the 3y. Tell her how it hurts your heart to hear her cry about going home. That it also make Mom sad about her not wanting to go home. That when she cries, you cry, and you don't like to cry. So even tho you and the 3y know that she really wants to stay, and that you love having her there, to make everyone happy, she needs to say 'yes, mommy' when it's time to leave. Create a special saying, wink, handshake, hug, etc. Since you are so close, you can end with a 'see you at the same time tomorrow...'

Another thing to try, is since you live across the street, have you tried walking them home instead of Mom picking them up? You can sing the song 'Here we go home from Grandma's house'. Skipping is optional. :)

Your granddaughter is an abusive mother. Who hits a child for crying when she leaves grandmas? My sister has a granddaughter who is three and has been known to cry when it's time to go home from a sleepover at grandmas, or when grandma comes over and goes home without taking her. Your granddaughter is doing the wrong thing. She obviously feels threatened that your granddaughter is not happy to be going back to mommy. I am so sorry that this lovely child is being punished either way - to get hit or not be able to go to great nanny's anymore. I don't think you can make the child stop crying, only try to get the mother to stop hitting her. Tell granddaughter that if she doesn't stop hitting this precious baby at pickup time, to please not ask you to do the favor of babysitting anymore.

talk to her mom/your daughter and mention you are fine ith how she chooses to parent but feel like the kid is going to connect the spanking with you and it makes you uncomfortable and ask her if she has any idea how to breach the subject with her daughter for you?

You need to lay down a rule for your home: No slapping/hitting children in your house!

Of course that little one doesn't want to go home with her mother...that mother doesn't know how to deal with her child when she's frustrated!

My opinion is that you need to have a sit-down with her mother. When she arrives, instead of handing over the child and watching the whole thing happen, invite her to sit down with some coffee. Let the child play while you talk.

Let her know that, from this moment forward, slapping and hitting will not be tolerated in your home; that you feel she is escalating the situation, and the child doesn't understand why she's being slapped. All that child knows is that she has to leave when she's having fun with someone she loves....and the person she has to leave with slaps her and gets mad at her. That needs to stop. The child's mother need to learn to be calm and show love and restraint and patience when she's frustrated.

Best of luck.

Your grand daughter sounds unhappy and is taking it out on her daughter. Try to spend quality time with granddaughter--she may be jealous of your time with the daughter but too ashamed to say so or she might not even recognize it as jealousy.