Graduation

I'm on board with the others that the graduate needs to write out thank you notes. My son is graduating this year also and he will be writing them out. It is personal and important for an event where people are expected to bring a gift. I am considering putting some kind of favor on the table for guests also. I just haven't decided what that will be yet.

K. ,

Thank you cards still seem to the best way...
Alittle letter in the thank you cards is nice just to
let everyone know what the graduates plan is after graduation.

J.

Hi K.,

I'm assuming you mean that your daughter is graduating from high school, or eighth grade, and not preschool kindergarten. If so, I have a few thoughts. One is, that your daughter is old enough to do this job on her own. You could get a nice thank you card with a small verse in it, or make cards yourself with a small verse. However, I think it's important for her to hand write a short thank you note in it for two reasons. When someone has gone to the trouble to think of you and purchase a gift for you, or gives you money toward a gift, it's only polite to send a personal thank you. It lets the gift giver know her gift was received and appreciated. It also teaches responsibility and thankfulness to our children. So let your daughter learn to do this important, though often neglected skill on her own, with your support. Happy graduation :) S.

I agree with everyone else. It is a bit tacky to not have her write Thank You notes. It will prepare her for future job interviews where you should write Thank You letters. Anyway people appreciate it when they receive Thank Yous for gifts. It is a skill she needs to learn.

I would strongly suggest that your daughter sit down and handwrite individual, sincere notes to every giver, naming the gift or saying "cash gift" if that's what it was. You can help her figure out what to say, give her the addresses etc. This is a life lesson that's important. I did this last year with the 3 granddaughters we put on a party for. They felt very proud when they got it done and I got nice compliments on their little notes. No one wants a standardized response when they've put out money, sometimes sacrifically, to bless someone, though I know it's done in our hurry-up world.

HI K.,
I have to agree with everyone else- there is no getting around sending a thank you note. You can give out small favors as a remembrance, but your daughter still needs to write personal notes. I gave money to my son's friend upon graduation and never received a thank you note and I still remember that 4 years later. Also, I attended a wedding last Fall and the bride texted us a brief thank you from her cell phone- we thought that was pretty tacky, too. So I hate to be old fashioned, but a thank you note is still just common courtesy.
Good Luck on the Open House,
M.

Have you really been to a wedding where they only gave out candy favors and didn't send a thank-you card for the gift?
In my opinion, thank-you cards are an important part of etiquette that we CANNOT allow the technology of today eliminate! As a gift giver, I want to know that you received my gift and appreciated it. If your daughter is graduating, she is receiving the gifts, so SHE should be the one who writes out handwritten thanks-yous and sends them out in a timely manner. She needs to get used to the habit. Weddings, showers, babies, are all occasions where it is a MUST to send thank-you cards. Most people give gifts of money so they are simple to write and good practice for your daughter. "Thank you for your gift of money. It will help out with some of my college expenses."
I think party favors at a graduation party are an unneeded expense. But if you feel that you would like to do that IN ADDITION TO having your daughter send thank-yous, that is up to you.
Good luck with all the year-end activities of your daughter! I know it is such a busy time!

I agree with everyone else, your daughter should hand write thank-you cards that express appreciation for their gift and their attendance. Getting something a parent did instead of the graduate would be the same as not getting a thank-you at all.

K. ~
I completely agree with the other 2 responses. Your daughter must personally hand-write her thank you's. My son has horrible handwriting, but I still made him write them out himself. It does annoy me when I get a simple thank you that is obviously written from the parent. It doesn't have to be anything huge....if someone gives her money (which most people do nowdays), she can write "thank you for your gift of money. It will help with college expenses." or something along those lines.

If you want to have some candy thing on the tables for guests, that's fine. But you will find that there are alot of other projects you're doing.... a board with all of her school pictures, a board with various awards, or with scholarship offers/college admission letter, maybe a photo album for her school years.....

good luck!
D.

You could certainly have a little letter or saying, but personal handwritten thank-yous from your HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE are an ABSOLUTE MUST!!! Good luck! :)

Hi K.,

Congratulations on your daughter's graduation. What an accomplishment for her!

I admire your willingness to be creative with the thank-you cards, but YOU should NOT be doing them. Your daughter should be the one responsible for hand-writing each and every one of them with her own words. Over the years, I have made each of my kids write a thank-you note to each person who gives them a birthday gift, graduation gift, Christmas gift, etc. All of the people who get their thank-yous have told me that they appreciate the fact the it came straight from the kids. It also teaches them to be thankful and grateful to others when they receive a gift.

Good luck!
C.

There is no acceptable substitute for a thank you note handwritten by your daughter.

Your daughter absolutely MUST send out handwritten thank you notes. Her guests have taken the time to pick out and purchase a gift in her honor, it's the least she can do.
If you would like to offer favors to the guests also, that's fine, but certainly wouldn't be expected.

I once received a photo thank you card for a 1st birthday I attended (and brought a nice gift to) and the card (while it was cute) just said "Thank you for the generous gift" without any recognition for what I put a lot of thought into.

I know this sounds like a time saver, but please help your daugher practice proper ettiquette by encouraging her to handwrite and send thank you notes. She's graduating high school...this is a skill she should master now.

I agree with everyone else, your daughter should still send out thank you cards. There really isn't any way around that. Two years ago, my sister got married, I planned her bridal shower with my sister in law, plus we gave her gifts.......and to make it easier on her, I had bought thank you cards and had the guests fill out their addresses on the envelopes, made it like a game......just to help her out......I even offered to send them out for her if she wanted me to, but she said she would do it........well, let me just say I never saw a thank you card.......then at her wedding, my whole family stood up at her wedding, my husband was the best man.......and since she is my sister we gave them a very generous gift.......she never sent out a thank you for that either. She had the thank you cards for that too, all she had to do is sign them, I think. It bothers me a lot that she couldn't find time to write out thank yous at least for her wedding. She didn't send out thank yous to anyone.........
And to think, this is my sister.........I love her, but I do still think about it, and it still bothers me ALOT.
I understand you want to do something different for your daughter's graduation, but I don't think it should be to do something else instead of sending out thank yous.I am sorry, but there is no substitute for thank yous written by your daughter.

At a graduation open house I went to last year they had printed up and laminated a poem that meant a lot to the grad, hole punched and put a ribbon through. I would involve your grad in it, maybe do it together, she's growing up!!!

I have to be honest and say that I think that is inappropriate. For these types of occasions, hand written cards are a must. I doesn't take that long and is not that difficult. Also, your daughter should do it, not you. It will prepare her for other events to come in her life like showers and weddings, where thank you cards are a necessary and good tradition.

Even in this world of fast communication with emails, instant messaging and texting, people want to know that their gift was received, appreciated, etc.