Good Reads/support/advice

Take a look at all the "things" you feel you have to get done in any given day or week. Priortize them so you can rank the the things you feel are most important/necessary valuable. Obviously, spending lots of time caring for and playing with your child would be at the top of this list. But now look at the bottom of your list. Maybe stuff like laundry, dusting, or scrubbing the toilet bowl are listed there. Cut a couple things off the bottom of your list and see if your day feels less stressful. It took me a while to be OK with a large pile of laundry or to realize that a few weeds in the flower bed were well worth a happier fiend/wife/mom.

I agree you need to get out, and I just say a simple reassessment of how you will choose to view your situation.

Remember, and the woman of the house, you are the "heart" of the home. If you''re cranky, everyone else is going to be cranky because as the wife and mom, everyone looks to you for love, cheerfulness, warmth and comfort when the world is kicking them in the "rump".

When you feel upset, and the kids or man are getting on your nerves, pause and count to 10 before answering them. This is hard to do if you're an emotional person, but I tell you it will help you refocus. While counting determine if the toddler is whinnng, or doing something that warrants a reprimand because it is harmful to them, or if they're just being a toddler. If its the later, find them an activity to redirect their behavior. No yelling, no punishment. If you find something new for them, they do quiet down and get busy with the new thing. The trick is to have new things ready at all times. Keep a box of fun activities in the corner. Don't let them have access or this won't work. As you need stuff, dole it out throughout the day. Replenish it after the go to bed for the next day. Items to keep in there include, big fat toddler friendly crayons, paper, puppets, video, balls etc.

If the child is getting to you and doing something dangerous, well of course raising your voice is warranted if its to get them to not do something dangerous. Time out in the corner is good.

As for husband. When you feel stressed, try to talk to each other about it. But do not do this when you are feeling upset. The mood should be calm so tht you can both communicate clearly and openly.

Take more walks, get more fresh air. Most important, find a moms group or start one so that you can have a support system of moms like yourself to help ease some of the burden. Especially if money is tight, and finding daycare is tough. Another option is to find a playgroup which provides you a way to safely provide playtime for your child, you can talk and get a break from the day to day, and maybe access to resources to help you budget and better run the house, which should alleviate some stress.

Hang in there. Hope some of these ideas help.

Hi! I am the same way if I do not get out enough. We stay at home moms need breaks and often! I deal with it by playing a lot of sports. I go to volleyball MOnday nights here in the Summer, Tuesday nights womens softball, and Thursday nights My husband and I play together and we get a sitter. He plays Sunday night men's softball. So he gets out too. I am a lot more patient if I have had some me time. And just because you get a girls weekend in once in a while, that is not enough in my opinion. Getting out regularly without your kids is important for your sanity. Even if it is just going to the grocery store with out them in tow for an hour.

Hi! Check out Parenting with Love & Logic. They have DVD's, CD's & books on their website. Like you, I found myself doing things my mom did....yelling. Education can be a powerful thing and I have to say that this program has done wonders for my 3 little girls. It makes parenting so much easier for tantrums, teaching responsibility, or at least this part of parenting :)

Good luck!
http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Just so you know--you're not alone. This is very common when you are dealing with toddlers. Start with an ECFE class. You should be able to find a list of classes through your local school district. They were lifesavers for me when I was at your stage. The parent educators will also be able to recommend some books or other resources for you. Best wishes.

Hello!

Maybe you just need to get away for a few hours here and there. Being home 24/7 with a toddler can be exhausting! Are there any classes you want to take? Maybe even going to Starbucks and reading or surfing the web for a couple hours once a week would help. If "getting away" isn't possible, maybe getting a part time job doing something fun (Pottery Barn, Starbucks, scrapbooking store, etc) would get you out of the house - and pay for a babysitter for a few hours while you're working :)

Good luck!!

Last summer I became the mother of two, and I know what you mean. Being pregnant with a 2 year old...plus all the other stresses...it is very hard.

I liked Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen. It helped me understand where my daughter was, developmentally, and why she was acting the way she was. Then I could tailor my behavior.

I also just read "Mama Zen". And it was great! I felt very "in the moment" and ok with everything for a long time after reading it. I think that if you/me/we/all moms can just get into our children's world, get down on their level, enjoy who they are right now, the impatience and frustration melts away a bit.

Now that I have 2 kids, I get crabby way more than I used to! I fear becoming my mother too, but now I understand why she yelled so much! Anyway, when things get too crazy, I drag the kids outside. Just the change of scenery makes a huge difference.

Good luck, you are not alone.

I'd like to offer two ideas:

1. Raising Your Spirited Child, by M.S. Kurcinka for your relationship with your son.

2. Why not consider having YOU get the second job so that you can have some time in the adult world? I know that being home with the kids while your pregnant may seem like the most natural "fit", but your husband has left you to all of the at-home tasks without an opportunity for a break.

My highest recommendation is to get a part-time job and stick with it after the baby comes. You will have the satisfaction of interacting with adults and helping out the family financially. This will alleviate your suffering more than any book or yoga class. A sense of purpose in the outside world can help women to better adjust to life at home - no matter how stressful it may seem there.