23 answers

Going to Church

I was not raised going to church... ever. I used to go to church every once in a while with my neightbor, and then I went to a youth group with them when I was in high school. I don't know a lot about religion, but I have been to both a Christian and Catholic church and I prefer the Christian religion. I would like to take my children to church as a family when they are a little older so that they aren't as in the dark about this as I am. I really want to go as a family, but my husband wasn't raised going to church either, and basically would rather be doing other things with his weekends since we already have such busy lives. How can I give my children, and myself for that matter, a good idea of what religion is and how do I get my huband involved?

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C.,
Hi, my name is H.. May I suggest the LDS (Mormon) religion? It really is family focused. Everything centers around the family from improving family relationships to soing things with the family to anything. Ya some say were not "christians" but in fact we are. If you think maybe interested I can get the missionaries out where you live and they can talk to you. Let me know.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello,
I been a Christian since 1990 and I wont get back to my oldself anymore Im happier now and busier with my life, i'm a sunday school teacher and a childcare provider during weekdays, I recomend for you to search for a full gospel non denomination church to go too, I dont know if you heard about the "Rock" Church its by Aero Drive I think you can search d the internet. They have a very Good service there and the pastor there is Miles Mcpherson his a former charger player and a founder of miles ahead ministry. they have 4 to 6 service every sunday and have some sunday school for the kids. Try it and let me know what happend, your husband will like it to God is the only one that can touch and change peoples lives we only need to give him some time.
God Bless.....
M.

Hi there C.! Glad to hear you want to get involved in church! I too didn't grow up in it but only went during the summers that were spent at my grandparents. I am now married with two kids of my own.

First, GO. Take your kids. I know you would love to be able to all go as a family but if your husband doesn't want to go at this time he may later. But don't pressure him. You will notice a change in your kids and yourself -for the better. Going to church to praise the Lord will fill your spirit with such joy - and strength. Always ask your husband if he would like to go but don't ever pressure him as you don't want him to think you a nag. The best way to lead a spouse to the Lord is not by pressure but by changing yourself and allowing your spouse to see that change in yourself and children. And don't forget to continually pray that the Lord will change his heart . I hope this helps!

C. i would really suggest that you pray, prayer always works. I am a mother of 5 and my family has been going to church for 3 years but now my husband quit going and he just does other things for his weekend my teenage sons even quit going but for me im still pressing on because i feel im responsible for planting a seed for my girls so what im doing is just being an example and praying maybe they will follow so C. read your bible god will answer you.

I'm not sure what you mean by "when the kids get older" but one thing you may try is a christian preschool for your oldest, when you are ready to send him. Try and find one that has an active parent component, and then get active! Your child will be learning in school and you will be getting involved in the school/church as well, so it may be just a natural extension for you to begin attending services regularly, and will be easier to do, because the kids will be "warmed up" to the location already and will not cry when you take them to sunday school!!

C.,

Tell me more about you, and what you are looking for in your life and the lives of your children.
I think that God is tugging at your heart. He made you, He's loved you this whole time, and He misses you as a parent would miss their long-lost child.

Do you know about Salvation? Do you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?
He's ready for you to give your life to Him...he's just waiting on you to want Him! Believe me, your husband can become saved through you and your children someday...I've seen it happen. It starts with you, though. Don't worry about your hubby...God will work on Him in His own time. Just focus on your relationship with God, and THEN God will make the changes that are needed in your family with the kids and your man. Do not get confused about religions and such. If you have any direct questions...please message me! I'll be glad to answer them, to correspond through phone or email consistantly with you, and to be on this road with you wholeheartedly! Let me know! I've been where you are!
If you are curious...I am a 100% Bible-believing Christian (not Mormon or Catholic). I go to an Evangelical Free church (which just means that we aren't limited by denominations; we only follow the Word of God)
I heard someone above me recommend the Tierrasanta church, I think??? If you live in the San Diego area...this is a good choice. I've visited that church before and KNOW that your kids would be well-cared for, guided, taught, and most of all enjoying it!!!

Write me back!

N. Rios

I know of a great church that I bet your husband would love! We've taken lots of our friends there that weren't so much "church people" but they loved it. It's Canyonview Christian Fellowship in Tierrasanta, The Pastor (mike) actually used to be Catholic when he was young. It's a super fun laid back church, and I think you should definitely check it out! Let me know if you have any other questions!!!

I would say look for a church whose religion is acceptable to you & get your kids involved in the kids group there. cub scouts (he's still a little young, but later), sunday school. If the kids like it, THEY will get the family involved. My grandfather was catholic & grandmother baptist so they didn't go to church..but then my father got involved in boy scouts which was sponsored by the presbyterian church & eventually the whole family (even the aunts) started going there. if the church does not have a strong children's program I would not not think the kids would get much out of it as this is not your old-time family church.

You can't MAKE someone be involved in church and religion. If you push them into it to much when they aren't ready they will just become more intolerant of it. Yous should go and take your kids if that is what you want. Give your husbadn the chance to come around to it on his own. That way he'll be more open to it. I think you're taking a good step and it will be good for your family even if your husband doesn't join in.

C., I know you made this post almost a year ago but I wanted to respond. I was raised in the Mormon church, also known as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints. So was my husband and we were married, believing in it together. A year later he told me he was no longer sure if there was a God or if the church was true. We've now been married almost 5 years and he is still inactive. I've been blessed that he joins me for the first hour, known as Sacrament meeting, he started going after our second daughter was born so I had more hands to help me. I wanted to give you a little background first.

The point I wanted to make is that it its so important for us to have God in our lives. You already know that. Hold onto it. It is definitely hard to go to church alone. Personally, it means too much to me not to go. I hope that your husband at least supports you in the idea even if he doesn't want to participate. This church that I am a member of is great for any age. The have nursery for children once the become 18 months old. Once they turn three they attend primary. The first hour is Sacrament Meeting that the whole family attends. The other two hours for you would be Sunday School and then Relief Society (which is just for the women) While you attend those two meetings you children go to primary. It truly is fantastic. The camaraderie and friendships that you make will follow you every where. And no matter where you move to you can find this church. It's the same wherever you go. If you want more info I'd be more than happy to help. If not, I just hope that you can have the strength to raise your kids believing in God. I know it has helped me through many trials.

I know this request is old, and I didn't read everyone's other suggestions, so I may be saying something other have already said. If I were you, I'd find a church that i enjoy going to and that has an outstanding children's program. If they do not have a children's program your kids won't enjoy going anyway. Tell your hubby "I know you don't care about going, but I want our kids to be raised knowing Christ. You don't have to come with me, but are certainly welcome to come along and help me choose a church together." Slightly reworded qoute, but still true: "You can guide someone to Christ, but you can't force them to believe." At some point he may choose to join you, but you can't FORCE your views on him. I'm happy that you're looking into what you feel is best for you and your children! may God bless you in your search and may HE guide your heart and will. ~J.

I would say go with your kids first and see how you like it and get involved in any small way you can. You will start to see how it can make you feel good to help others while you learn about God and yourself. Get the kids involved too if you think they are ready and dont worry about your spouse joining you, it usually takes time for them to see that they may enjoy it too and like to join you in what youre doing. Balance your time at church with your spouse and kids activities at home and it may be just a matter of time before he wants to come along with you and you both will enjoy it. Remember, dont preach with your lips so much as try to live out that life in front of him and that will speak volumes!! Make sure that you read the bible for yourself and dont rely solely on the message as you grow in this area you will be able to understand what sounds good and what the bible is actually saying. Praise God for your willingness to come into a better relationship with him. Your family is in the right hands. Take care and give us an update!

Hi C.,

my response is very late, but I just joined mamasource and was looking around to give some advice.

I have always been confused about Christian and Catholic, so I just settled it by simply believing in God and trying to be a good person.

However when I was 20 I became a Scientologist and have been that for 16 years. I have never understood life and people this much before and although there is a lot to say about this religion (especially if you listen to the media!!), I can say that it's worth to chek it out. I have become a way better person because of it and I will expose my kids to it hoping it will do the same for them.

The official site is www.Scientology.org

Hi C.,

We recently got back into the swing of going to church. We hadn't gone in a while, but now I am trying to take an hour out of my busy weekend to go to church too. I have blocked that hour out on my calendar, that way I don't find other things to do on Sunday. My husband doesn't always go, but I figure if he wants to he is always welcome.

If you are going to a Christian church, try to find one that has activities for the kids. A lot of them have sunday school for all ages.

Hi C.. :) I saw your request and was prompted to respond. I know going to church isn't an easy habit to form especially since you weren't brought up with the church. I think that while your kids are still under your roof it's important for them to see you going to church and experience it for themselves. There are lots of great churches in LA. My family and I go to Shepherd of the Hills non-denominational Christian church. I have 2 little girls, 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. They really enjoy the kids programming and I know they have an outstanding youth group. We usually drag ourselves out of bed to be at the 8:30 am service and then we have the entire rest of the day to be together. :) I'd love to meet you and your family there sometime if you are interested in that.
When it comes to your husband, the best thing to do is to open the door for him to join you, but you have to let him walk through it on his own. If he sees you going to church and really liking it, chances are he will give it a try too. I hope this was helpful. ~A. Rivera

Hi C.,
I was raised Catholic. My husband was raised Pentacostal, but went very little and isn't religious or spiritual at all. My husband has never gone to a service with me. That is something I have never been able to accomplish. I have been to Free Will, Open Bible, Baptist, and Pentacostal churches. Here's what I did for my kids. I take them to church with me when I go. I still don't get there every Sunday. It's hard to go sometimes when your spouse won't. I bought them childrens bibles and story books. You can get very inexpensive basic childrens bibles at Wal-Mart. I started when they were babies and as they grow I get more advanced level ones. My younger son loves movies, computers and video games. I got him the Veggie Tales movies and a computer game. He loved them when he was smaller.
Good luck
K. F

Hi C.,

When I got married I was like your husband and thought going to church was the last way I wanted to spend my weekend. I also never went to church growing up but my husband and his family are very religious and have always gone to church. I told my husband I would go only if it was a chuch that I could wear my casual clothes to and the service was short. It is great now. We go to a small church in San Clemente that is very casual with lots of younger couples and families. It is only 45 minutes to an hour long. We are out of there by 930 and dressed and ready for the day. Have your husband try it a few times. You may have to try a few differant churches till he finds one he is comfortable in. He may realize it is a nice way to actually get everyone out and ready for the day earlier than usual. Maybe you could compromise and just do every other Sunday. You can also buy some great childrens books that tell short bible stories geared towards small children. Some of them are pretty cute and actually I enjoy reading them because they make more sense to me then the bible so that I am learning along with my son. Good Luck!

I have only became active in church a few years ago, but before my son was born. The question of the role of religion in the home is an important one that only you can decide what is best for your home. I can tell you that I believe religion plays an important role in shaping the values of our children, but can only do so in a positive way if the children see the parents practicing what they preach (pardon the pun). In other words, if you tell them they should go to church and set values a certain way, and then you and/or your husband don’t live by the same set of values, the time spent in church will likely not yield significant moral development in your children.

I strongly believe spiritual health is critical part of their overall mental well-being. Spiritual and mental health then play a vital role in physical health. I also believe that the concept of religion put into practice helps children socialize with more positive peer groups as well as learn to focus on longer-range concepts (i.e., what will happen to mom, dad, and me after we pass away) and important life issues such as obedience, character attributes, etc. I guess the bottom line advice I would give you is that it is most important that you and your spouse live the types of morals and attributes you want your children to live, even if you don’t introduce organized religion into your children’s lives. Next, I would recommend your children be exposed to church with your support by example as they can be influenced by more positive peer pressures in church than strictly the types of peers they socialize with at school.

Dear C.,
This is kind of a touchy question, since people's feelings about religion can be so deep and personal. But it is an important one. I think you are right in feeling like there might be something missing that you could give to your kids. Religion, or the peace that comes with really deep faith in true principles, can give you and your children direction and purpose, and believe it or not, joy. Isn't that what we really all want?

I can only speak from my experience, but at the risk of making myself feel a little vulnerable, I will tell you that my faith in Christ and His gospel is the single greatest blessing my family has. It brings us together, and guides us, and brings comfort, and just too many good things to even write. Membership in a church provides so many resources for raising my family, and a strong support system, plus opportunities for positive friendships for my kids.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which is often called the "Mormon" church. It is a very, very family oriented church, which I love. Sorry, I feel a little personal sharing this over the internet. It's a little embarrassing for me. But I felt the sincerity of your concern. Anyway, there is a website you can check out on your own without any obligation called www.mormon.org. It explains about basic beliefs and answers some of the big questions we all have about life, like ""Where did I come from?" "Does God have more for me?" "Did I live before birth?" and "Does God really know me?"

I know that getting your husband involved is a tricky situation. I think you have to carefully and prayerfully choose a path for yourself and take it one step at a time. If it is something that brings you greater peace and happiness, he may see that and a little at a time want to follow.

Anyway, I wish you luck and hope that you can find the kind of peace for your family that I know can come from this added dimension of life.

Best wishes,
M.

C.:

If you have to force them then they aren't going to reep any benefit. I was raised around religious people but did not get into church until I was 24 and my life fell apart. I went to church (was hesitant) and found that the more my faith grew, the better my life went so I kept going. Before I knew it, people around me were making comments about my life and asking about my church. This could very well be the same with your husband.

As far as the kids go, find a place that is fun for them! My church has a kids church where they play games to learn about Jesus. My kids never have a problem going and they are getting a great lesson!

Hi C.. First of all, try not to think of it as Religion. What you want is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You have to start with You. Read your Bible and start in the new testament, Matthew and such. Learn about all the wonderful things that Christ did on the Earth and it'll get you excited for more. Also, have someone to answer questions. I have attended the International Church of Las Vegas for a while and have never felt so comfortable in a church. It's just off Durango and Westcliff and the people there are amazing. You can join the 'New Believer's' class and learn all the basics and even things about your self you never knew. Being a Believer is a wonderful, lifechanging experience and I pray that you find Christ. Most churches have childcare so your children can be in a loving, positive place while you attend classes or service. Like Mellissa said, though, you can't force it on your husband. There are so many women who have come to Christ with heartache that he's not jumping in with them, but when he sees how on fire you're going to be, and how well things will start going for you, his curiosity will get the better of him. ICLV is a really good church. It's awefully big but don't be intimidated cause God is big on ICLV and great things happen there. Good Luck! -C. M.

I've been going to church all my life. I admit in the past few years it's been hard to get going a lot of Sundays. That's because my church eliminated the late service. It's so hard to get there every Sunday by 9. But the trick is to make it priority. It will be such a blessing to you and your kids to go to church, Bible study, and Sunday school. I was not raised Catholic, but many of my friends were, and none of them understand the true value, which is Christ. Even though catholicism is actually christian religion, just one of many denominations.

Just find a church you and the kids like. Usually the non-denominational churches in my experience are the friendliest and Christ centered. And they usually have Sunday school for the kids during the worship service.

Getting the husband to come to church is a life long battle for many women. Just make sure you and the kids go every Sunday, (don't wait until they are older) and invite your husband every Sunday. But don't push. One day he might surprise you and go. Your kids might even get into asking their dad to go too. Especially invite him to special events like if the kids will be singing or a special service like Easter or Christmas.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

C.,
My family and I go to Central Christian Church in Henderson. There is also a new campus in summerlin. I was raised with little christian influence and sporadic attendance such as you. I love this church. They have a program called starting point, which is a 6 week program on basic principles of the Christian religion. The size of the church can be intimidating at first, but it is a real down to earth kind of place. The senior pastor and his wife have 2 young children and basically are at the same life stage as us. I can really relate to the teachings. They also have an EXCELLENT children's program. I can't say enough good things about it. I reccommend you and your children go and check it out....your husband will be interested to see where you are going week after week....you can't make him go, he needs to decide that on his own. If I can be of any assistance, please let me know. ____@____.com

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