Going on Trips Without Dad

Updated on July 05, 2012
S.G. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
22 answers

I'm a stay-at-home mom. In the summertime I love to take the kids camping and to the beach. We often go during the week while my husband is at work, because it is easier to get a campsite and the beaches are quieter. My husband doesn't love camping quite as much as I do, so he doesn't mind that we go without him, and we still go all together as a family when my husband is on vacation. I'm sure he appreciates the quiet at home while we are gone. Most of my stay-at-home friends think it's strange that we go away without him, and they never go anywhere unless they have their husbands with them. Anyway, I was just curious to hear if any of you moms do this sort of thing, or if not, how come?

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies! I'm glad to hear I'm not alone! My husband does enjoy camping, but two or three trips a summer is enough for him. And when we do camp together, he likes to fish, while I like to hike or sit on the beach. The kids and I don't just go for camping vacations, but we also will do the hotel/waterpark thing without him as well. Also, when we camp we often rent yurts, so we don't have to put up the tent, and we do get real beds. My friends have given different reasons for not going without their husbands, such as it's too much work, they would be lonely without adult company, they would be scared, or they just think the family should always be together. Some complain that they never go anywhere because their husbands won't go, yet it would never occur to them to go without him. Anyway, it sounds like you will all have fun this summer, with or wthout the husband!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I love taking my kids on vacations without their dad! We go camping a lot and have been to the beach several times. We go with him as well, but I don't think it's weird, and I am BEYOND delighted that next week HE is taking them away for 5 whole days! Five days entirely on my own at my own house -BLISS!!!!!!!!!

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sounds like a great compromise to me. It's not my first choice because it is more work for me, but I've taken my kids countless times to my parents' cabin without my husband when he has work or family conflicts and once we went with my parents to Mexico without him in my parents' time share condo because he had a last minute work conflict arise. It's not strange; I think it's a healthy compromise. Keep it up!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If we did not do anything without my husband during the summer, we would have never done a thing outside of the house.

Some people are strange, they honestly think a couple has to do everything together or they do not love each other enough.

I say a couple that loves and trusts each other totally, do not even worry about this stuff.

You are making great memories for your children.

Your husband is providing for your family. Acknowledge that and never take him for granted and he will be thrilled you all are having a good time.

When our daughter graduated from high school, she told my husband how much she appreciated all of his years of working and extra jobs he took, so she could have me stay home and be involved with her schools.

This when she graduated from college a few weeks ago.. she told him again, she knew it had been hard, but she was very grateful to him for providing for us.

He has mentioned this to me a few times, that all he wants is for us to be happy and safe.

When we do get to do things all together, we do not waste a moment together.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I'm not a SAHM... However, if what you are doing is working for your family and everyone is happy with it, then more power to you. I would not worry what everyone else thinks about it. I think that I would be a little intimidated to go camping with just the kids, but I am not really into camping either.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

It's not strange at all.

If it works for you, then do what works for you.

I have a friend who just took her three kids camping without her husband and he didn't even have to work. She did the camping thing, he had some days at home. It worked out well for all involved.

When I was married, I took trips without my husband. I traveled back East to visit relatives, the kids and I attended family weddings, we went on trips with my mother. He took trips to visit his family without us sometimes.
It didn't seem weird at all.

I don't think that just because you are married neither person can go anywhere without the other all the time.

If you and your husband are cool with it, who cares what anyone else thinks? It's summer. Take the kids and enjoy it.

Just my opinion.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I've done a lot of trips and outings on my own with the kids over the years, including flying and hotels.
Not strange at all IMO, and I know my husband likes it!
I wish HE would do it sometimes, I NEVER get my house to myself for more than 6 to 8 hours. I'd love to have the place to myself for a few days.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am down the shore with my girls and my husband is at home working. I wish he was here, especially since it is the 4th of July. Fortunately, my husband works from home so he works here for a few days then goes home for a few days. The Internet connection is really slow down here and he has more space at home so he is much more productive at home.
To answer your question.... I don't think it is strange all. I think you should do what ever works for your family.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't but only because the situation hasn't arisen. Then again my husband loves camping as much as I do so even if he didn't plan to go by the time it happened he would be walking out the door with us.

When I was a stay at home we did a lot of things without my ex. At least in our case it was just easier since he never wanted to go in the first place. Imagine dragging a two year old around who didn't want to do something....that is pretty much how my ex acted. :(

Oh, now girls weekend out is my husbands favorite annual event. He just gets stuck with the boy child and he isn't viewed as being stuck with. :)

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My son and I just went to California for a week w/out dad... in fact we have made very few trips WITH dad due to the nature of his work - we would never go anywhere if we had to wait for dad.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I don't go out usually without my husband, but its mostly for the reasons that I don't have a car at home (he takes it), and my daughter is too small for such adventurous activities.
If I had the means, I'd do the same as you! Why ever not??!!

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I don't think it is strange at all.

My daughter and I do a lot of outings just the two of us. My husband will not go camping so I take her. He works a lot and can't always take time off. This works for us and we do plan other stuff to do as a family.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Go ahead! If you don't mind and he doesn't mind--there is nothing wrong with it. We *might* be moving 5 hours away from my sisters (we currently live 18 hours away). If we do, I'll take many trips down to them without my hubby (in the summer, during the week, while he's working).

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J.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

If I waited for my husband to be around, then we'd get out about two days a month. I'm with you, enjoy yourself with the kids whether dad is there or not. Since dad is getting some alone time though, I'd ask him to make a good point for quality time when he is around. Maybe he can do something alone with the kids every weekend, even if it's going to the park for an hour.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Of course. I just got back from South Beach in Miami with my daughter for a mom/daughter beach vacation for 5 days and 4 nights. Hubby stayed home and was fine with that. He is the one who does most of the travel for our company so he was glad to have down time at home alone.

I've also gone alone on a beach vacation as well.

We don't think anything about it. I am secure and smart enough to manage myself without depending on hubby to be with me 24/7.

I see nothing wrong with your trips.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Just last week my son and I had a mini vacation at a hotel and water park. We did the same thing last summer. In November we are driving to another state for a festival and staying a cabin. Next year, we are going on a train trip together. (My husband wants to go, but we aren't sure if it's possible.) These things we did (and are doing,) because my husband can't get off much time. He hates water parks, and wouldn't enjoy it anyway. There is NO way he could get time off in the summer and right before Christmas. Unfortunately, that's when all the good stuff around here happens. We do save camping as a family thing, because my husband really loves camping. He would totally be bummed to miss out. All that said, I don't think you're strange!!

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K.D.

answers from Milwaukee on

We (me and my 2 boys) just returned from a week in Florida and we went without Dad. Last summer I drove to Ohio (about 8 hours) and we went to several theme parks in the area.
We like theme parks and he doesn't-I did make him come along to Disney in 2010 though :) It's just not his thing so we go on our own. We also went on a cruise without him in 2009 too.
If it were up to him, we would never go anywhere except some trip he is planning in hs head that will take us out west.
It never gets planned though although we hear about it every year.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I enjoy going places and doing my own thing without hubby. Times have changed somewhat and we can't afford it like we used to.

I do take the kids and go places he hates. Then if we do a vacation it is something everyone likes.

So my advice is make sure when hubby is free for vacation to go somewhere that is fun and enjoyable for him. If he really doesn't like camping and stuff don't make him do that on his vacation. He deserves to have fun too. If he likes going to a hotel and sleeping all day then go do that...lol. I would hate that, being stuck somewhere in a hotel, that's why I picked that scene.

My hubby would want to go somewhere like Disneyland. It is the same as him and he grew up in Poway. So he went a lot as a child and it was always the best vacation ever.

I think that going and doing stuff with your children shows them that everyone can do for themselves. I think it's wonderful.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Your friends can't handle their kids like you can. You're lucky. Also, they think that camping is hard and don't undestand how it is that you don't need the help.

As long as you are all taking family vacations together at some point, there's no problem. If your hubby never got to take a vacation that HE likes with you all, THEN there would be a problem.

Personally, I would NEVER go camping with my kids without my husband. That's just me (I hate camping anyway.) However, my kids and I have vacationed plenty (in real beds, LOL!) because of my husband's work schedule.

It is usually no big deal to couples who have been married for a good while.

Don't worry about what your friends think. They aren't you.

Dawn

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

While we love going all together it is not always practical. My husband and I run a small business where we make up 2/5 of the full time employees so it is hard to both be gone for long. I LOVE car trips with our son so we have done numerous cross country trips. The longest was just over a year ago. We drove 5200 miles, visited 8 National Parks, and camped the whole way. Car trips with my son are amazing!

I am also glad to hear about other moms who like to travel with their kids on their own. I met a lot of people on our travels who thought I was crazy traveling by myself, though at least my friends and family are supportive.

This past winter we had new employees in place, so only my son and my husband were able to get away to our winter destination while I stayed to "hold down the fort". Next year we will hopefully all go together.

BTW, I love tent camping. I often long for the days when I did 45 day wilderness canoe trips to the wilds of Canada. So car camping in a National Park is super easy for me. My husband much prefers camping in his VW camper bus so that he can sit up in the morning and make coffee immediately :)

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A.A.

answers from New York on

I like doing the family vacations, and so do the kids. My kids find it strange when their Dad don't come. I grew up this way and so did my husband. It was a family valve our parents installed in us.

Ask your kids how they feel because when they get older and have families their husband or wife might not have that same valve. (which starts fights)

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have done the family cabin (my husbands family) without him... my parents house... countless trips to the zoo, swimming, museums, etc. But never camping.... now that they are older I'll have to add that to my list :)

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

It sounds like you have a good grip on what works best for your family.

I do things with the kids when my husband is working. Life doesn't go on hold during 9-5, you know?

Sometimes my husband takes ours sons out for the day or a weekend, leaving me in the bliss of a quiet house to myself. I can enjoy solitude and not have to worry about taking care of anyone but myself.

Both my husband and I have taken vacations with our friends, leaving the other home with the kids. Just because we're married doesn't mean we're not individuals. We are both dedicated to the other and to our kids, but that does not require being joined at the hip 24/7.

We also take plenty of trips and have activities as a family.

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