Going Back to Work, Can't Stop Crying:(

It's okay to be sad! But just remember, you WILL be back, and they WILL be fine! They are being left in good hands, and at least you know they are being well taken care of while you are gone. That makes it a little easier.

I did the same thing after my first materity leave. I cried all the time for about 2 weeks and then I guess I just got used to it. The crying stopped. It felt like forever at the time, but in hindsight it was just two weeks.

With my second, I came back to work part-time for the first week and that helped a lot. Can you ease back into work?

Cry if you need to. I bawled like...well, like a baby, when I went to work and left DD home. It gets easier. Compartmentalize. Focus on work at work and your babies when you are home. Many hugs.

Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event. I know the feeling. I was so distraught the first day back I drove in circles! However, I do agree that maybe a trip to the doc for a post-partum check might help.

It's really never easy to go back but we have to do what we have to do.

It might help to network with other working moms of young kids. That helped me a lot, especially those at work or at my daughter's daycare.

Many people will suggest money-saving tips to stay home, but many families don't have the luxury of relying on one-income. That's why I'm suggesting meeting up with other working moms.

Good luck!

P.S. My daughter THRIVED

Yes, it will be difficult. However, it DOES get easier. The most important thing is to establish a routine and stick to it.

You do it because you have to. You have to tell yourself that you are working to provide for your kids.

Give yourself permission to cry and ease back into your job. Luckily, you are going back mid-week so just a few days until the weekend. Take it day by day and step by step...that's really all you can do.

You know, sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
It will get easier, and will be your new 'normal.'

After you get into the groove, sit down and crinch the numbers: income, child care, etc. and make sure what's going in IS in the best interest of you & your family.

For me, switching to PT was an option and the best solution.
Look at all options and plan what you want things to look like!

Chin up, and good luck!

It's hard.
I cried a river myself when my son went to day care at 12 weeks.
My husband was very understanding but there was no way I could stay home.
It got a little better after the first few days.
It took about a month before I was comfortable with it.
I was fortunate I had tons of sick leave because I used plenty when he got sick.
Our son loved daycare.
They were a commercial place right across the street from the fire department.
He made friends and loved the fire trucks.
And once in awhile if I was sick as a dog I'd take him to day care, call in sick and go home and get some sleep.
It's an adjustment - but you can make it.
There are positives about it if you leave yourself open to them.

It will be difficult. When I went back to work when my daughter was 12 weeks, I cried off and on the whole day. But it got better, and I knew it was the right thing for our family. I trusted the daycare she was in and that made it easier, she encouraged me to call whenever I wanted so I could see how she was doing (much better than me!).

I remember arriving at my first day back to work and the receptionaist, an older lady looked at my red puffy eyes and was certain something awful had happned. (in a way it had - I had to leave my baby!)

It does pass - but I did have some mornings that were rougher than others. There are excpetions, but many moms would love to be home with their babies. <deep sigh>

But - since you've been crying about this for more than amonth and this didn't happen with the first, talk to your doctor about post-partum depression. It's way more common than people realize and your hormonal system can be jump-started by a coupld of months of anti-depressants. It's sooooo *not* a big deal.

Good luck mama - it's tough I know!

I can't imagine doing this. I was so blessed to be able to stay home after having our first and I can feel your sadness and pain even though I didn't have to experience it, only the thought of it. I guess you'll adjust like so many other mothers do. It will take time, I'm sure. No way you can stay home????

Are you a single mom, or is there any way you can stay home? I am so sorry if your circumstances don't permit you to do what your heart clearly wants. If there is even a slim chance you could make it work to stay home, I would be happy to share cost saving ideas that we did to help manage the financial burden of me not working. However, if that is not in the cards for you, I deeply empathize.

I went back to work for a few months after my first was born, fully intending to stay working (long story, but my son didn't take to daycare and we reorganized our finances and made it work for me to be at home) and a few of the strategies I used to get me through the day: photos of him in my office, I pumped (made me feel like I was still providing his basic needs and I nursed him when I first got home - excellent snuggling/bonding time), I was lucky enough to live close to my work and drove home to nurse him at lunch (although it was 15 minutes of driving, 15 minutes of nursing, 15 minutes of driving - kinda crazy now that I think of it, but it was what I needed and it helped my husband -who took some time off when I first went back - to have a short break during the day), being good at my job reawakened a piece of ME - which I had all but forgotten - so that was empowering and distracting, remembering how much of the day little ones are asleep (so I really wasn't missing that many waking hours), readjusting the new 'normal' meant truly being present and appreciating every second I had with my baby. If I only had a few hours a day, then those were going to be GREAT! ie I left the work drama and stress at work, and focused purely on my family when I was at home. One last thing - my baby was not easy one, so it was truly easier to be a work where there was predictability and reason...being at home was more challenging and going back to work was a bit of a break for me (despite the heartache).

I feel for you, as the transition back to work, and the anticipation of it, was such a stressful time in my life, too.

I cried when I visited the first day care we interviewed to leave my little baby girl at. It was just too cold.

I finally found an in-home daycare that I loved and then I was fine.

I do just fine at the start of every year. While all the other mom's are frazzled at work, I am working away. Dad does the drop off and it doesn't even phase either one of them.

Your emotions will get them going and then you will all be crying. Maybe dad can handle the drop offs.

It will get better but I don't know that you will ever like it.
My DD is 5 now and I still hate dropping her off at daycare in the mornings. I don't cry anymore (not since she was a baby) but I still feel bad when I leave.

However, we do what we have to and your kids will be fine!

Good luck!

Hang in there! I cried and cried too beforehand and all through the first day. I tried to visit the day care 3 times during my maternity leave, but every time i got into the infant room I would lose it. I am sure they thought I was a nutcase, which I was. Then for some reason the second day was fine and I was back to rushing off to work and I have never looked back. My DD loves school and has learned so many things and made so many friends that she would never have had with me.

If possible, write down all instructions and likes/dislikes ahead of time. That way if you are in tears Wednesday you can hand them the notes and not have to explain everything while crying. If you are married, have your DH take them the first day and then call to make sure everything is ok. If you have meetings Wednesday morning, cancel or move them to the afternoon. Take your time going into the office if you can, get a coffee and relish being out without 2 kids. Finally, I would not go back up there to "check in" or call too much. Otherwise all those feelings just stay on the surface. Good luck to you!!

I cried all the way to work the first day back after my now 10 y/o daughter. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It's a normal feeling but eventually it passes. Especially if you are leaving your kids with family. My daughter was left with the sitter we never knew before hiring her. We went through a service, interviewed lots of sitters (home daycare providers) until we found one we were comfortable with.

Yeah, I know it's hard. I cried a lot too.

You just have to leave the daycare and get in your car and drive. Cry once you start driving - NOT in front of your 3 year old.

If I were you, I'd get there an hour early and watch your 3 year old play. Once she is having fun, kiss her goodbye and walk in the infant room and watch him. Don't hold him - it's best to watch THEM with your son. If you do this for a day or a week, you might feel better. Pare it down so that you aren't staying though. You don't want to prolong the agony for too long.

Dawn

I think you're doing just fine!

I stay at home but I still send the kids to daycare part of the time, whatever is affordable. The 3-year-old goes 5 hours a day to preschool, 4 days a week. Actually the cost is very reasonable.

My 6-year-old LOVES daycare after school. I actually send all 3 kiddos (not the baby as he's too young) to camps this break.

I'd go nuts with everybody home!

I can't say that I understand. I never felt that way. When my oldest was 8 weeks old, I didn't mind going back to work. When her brother was born (she was 4 years old), she continued going to daycare and camp - she required a lot of stimulation and wasn't going to get it at home with me and a newborn, constantly pumping and at the lactation consultant and doing the exercises with the baby and sleeping all morning. I was not devastated at 11 weeks to go back to work. I enjoyed being a working mom. I'm sorry that you don't.
If you have been crying every day for over a month, I'd like to suggest that this is something more than just feeling sad to go back to work. That sounds more like the later onset post partum depression. You might want to have a chat with your OB or midwife. If you have PPD, and didn't the first time around, that would explain why it didn't seem so hard last time.

Been there! It will get easier... or at least it did for me. I realized after a couple of weeks that my daughter was extremely happy and it was just me that was having a hard time with it. Of course it helped that she was staying with someone who had been taking care of infants for 25 years and I was going back to a job that I absolutely love and was/am totally fulfilled by. As long as you have ensured that she is in a safe and loving environment, she will be absolutely fine and you will get through this.