Going Back to Work and Now My Son Is Acting Different.

I just started reading, "The happiest toddler on the block", while the suggested method for handling tempertantrums has somewhat worked. Our tried and true method of completely ignoring her until she settles down, and using a non-sarcatic voice while talking her down is our best chance of tackling this annoying habit. We are moving and the change is causing these things to happen. Plus it's raining everyday, so the poor kid has no outlet. The book explains that acknowledging her problem to her in the same tone she has, will get her to settle down. I have sort of tried it, I think that she feels like I am making fun of her. (she's very perceptive with our moods and feelings) Check it out if you think this method might work. Good luck, Jen

My 10 month old does the same thing...she'll find a camera, sunglasses, keys...and she'll throw a fit when I take them away. But, I beleive it's just a phase. I stay home with her and she started doing this around 9 months too...so I don't think your son is doing it because of the changes taking place with you no longer staying home. I ignore it and am assuming it is a phase. Let's hope anyway!

S.,

Hang in there!! :)
I really agree with the other response. I think that ignoring the behavior (unless it is harming himself or others) is the best way to go. Children at this age don't understand consequences, time out, and any other methods for older children. Perhaps when you take something away that he can't have, replace it with something that he is allowed to have. Even though he may not be able to understand what you are saying, I would suggest verbalizing your sons thoughts for him. For example, "I know you are mad, I know you want that" etc and then give a simple example. This will also get you into the habit of doing this when he does know exactly what you are saying. If you are able to ignore him, he will not get the attention that he may be seeking.

Take care,
K.

While you going back to work surely is a change for him, I'll tell you that my little one started "throwing fits" at around the same age. I went back to work when she was 4 months old, so I think it's likely a developmentally appropriate behavior. Kids this age can't talk yet, so when they express their frustration, it can look like a temper tantrum. The best thing to do is to ignore the behavior. If you take something away from him that he wants, replace it with something he can have. Distraction, at this age, is a great tool. Also, make sure you don't give in and give him what he wants to try to stop the fit. Try not to pay too much attention to the behavior. Try to make sure he is safe (incapable of hitting his head on something, etc). Who is watching him now? If it is your in-laws, try to talk with them about wanting to nip this behavior in the bud. I know ignoring doesn't sound like you're doing much, but what you are teaching him is that throwing a fit isn't going to get him what he wants. Hope this helps.

"We don't know what we don't know" something a good friend once told me.

After consulting my doctor about my son's fits, both doctors agreed to ignore him and let him work it out. If we try to comfort them or work through it with them it reinforces the negative behavior.

Also, do you have to work? Maybe if there is someway around it you could stay home a bit longer as he may miss you and this is why he is acting out.

I babysit for two airline pilots and over the year he has come to realize what it means when they bring him over. He's had a dramatic personality change and everytime it gets worse. That started at about 9 months for him as well. He is 1 1/2 now.

~J.