17 answers

Girls Hormones

Looking for some help with a daughter who's moods are constantly changing. She could be fine one minute then the next she is all upset just because your not fixing what she wants for dinner and then she's off to her room crying. But about 10 min. later she comes out like nothing ever happened. Hormones are driving me nuts. And she is only 11.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I want to thank everyone for their response. I have looked into bipolar and talked to a doctor but no doctor wants to diagnose a child with that. So until she starts her period and goes through puberty we are on our own. We have started her on some vitamins and hope that helps some. I know my husband has a calcium dificiency and her moods could be related to his, passed down. He can become very moody as well when he doesn't take his vitamins. I guess I was more curious, and didn't say it correctly, how other mothers handle their daughters when they are moody like this and if anyone has any helpful hints. Oh, and thank you to the mom about the dinner thing. I don't give into her. She is on her own. She eats what we make or goes to bed hungry. That is how I was raised and I am not going to give in. Thank you so much for everyones advice. This site in amazing. I didn't know if anyone would respond or not.
God Bless.

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Even though she is only 11 she could be an early bloomer. Many girls these days are developing earlier and earlier. She could be starting her womanly hormonal changes. I had friends when I was young start their periods at 10 and 11. I have many friends now that their daughters are starting their periods at 10 and 11. If she hasn't started hers yet she may be close, and she is just dealing with the internal hormonal changes and she may not know what is happening to her.

1 mom found this helpful

This is not to alarm you, but you might also want to talk to her doctor about the signs/symptoms of mania and bipolar disease. Just something to look into, since the sudden mood changes are classic signs. Best of luck.
J.

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Even though she is only 11 she could be an early bloomer. Many girls these days are developing earlier and earlier. She could be starting her womanly hormonal changes. I had friends when I was young start their periods at 10 and 11. I have many friends now that their daughters are starting their periods at 10 and 11. If she hasn't started hers yet she may be close, and she is just dealing with the internal hormonal changes and she may not know what is happening to her.

1 mom found this helpful

I do simpathize with you since I have a daughter that just turned 12 and we have went through this for a while now. I think I clash more with her on her moods then her dad because I am a female too. He doesn't see it as much as me but that is also because I am with her more and of course she is a daddy's girl. If it is severe you may talk to her dr about it as well. She may be getting ready to start or just struggling with self image, etc. or it could be something like bi-polar disorder. Definately discuss it with her doc if it continues to worsen. Just my opinion though. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I completely agree with all the others, wait and see if she starts her cycle, maybe she's having a hard time with the emotions from that. If she doesn't with in a short time I would take her and ask the doc about being bi-polar.

I haven't read the other responses to know if this has been mentioned. But have you checked to make sure it's her hormones and not bipolar disorder? My cousin was like that when she was younger and they ignored it for years. She was finally treated for Bipolar in her twenties, and after she started on her medications and therapy and whatnot, she's become a different person. Check with your doctor before doing anything drastic though, it really could be hormones or depression.

Hello Keri,
I also have a daughter almost the same age(9 yrs old will be 10 in Feb) and I have been dealing with high and low emotions for months now.I have spoke to her peditrician about this and she says that it's just hormones kicking in,she also told me that they will start getting a little tummy,eating alot,mood swing's and alot of crying!Try and be patient and understanding,I know easier said than done.My daughter will come home from school crying that all of her friend's hate her,she hates school its too hard and has even said that I dont love her,Wow she has blown me away at times.See I wasnt ever supposed to be able to get pregnant and then God blessed me with her so I was really blown away with all of this.It has calmed down a little here but we still have our days.I have been at my witts end at times and have taking a Mommy time out just to step away for a little while.She has also been eating alot lately more than I even do at times. But the Doctor says all is well.I dont think the bi-polar is something to worry about yet.If you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me back.And I totally agree with one of the other comments We do need a Mom's Support Group!!!

this sounds like test book bi-polar....they have incrediable and safe meds...my friends daughter had major mood swings (she was fine the yr. b4) she had bi-polar...she was 11 also..since she is on meds she is so much happier and so is the rest of the family...good luck

Hi, I haven't responded to this group before, but this more like just hormones than bi-polar. The mood swings in bi-polar usually last for days and weeks, not minutes. They are also usually more extreme than that. The highs in bi-polar, mania, is not just being "fine", either (I didn't see anything in your post about this side of bi-polarism). You could google the symptoms and see if they match her and/or talk to her doctor.

Hello K.,

My name is J.. Either she is getting ready to start the mother nature thing or you might want to have her tested for Bi-Polar or other diseases. Voice your opinion to her dr or get her dr.'s advice. please keep me posted at ____@____.com

Not much help here, but I can certainly sympanthize. My son is also 11 and going through the same thing. We are concerned because bi-polar runs very strongly in our family. His 8-yr old brother and 14-yr old cousin were both diagnosed with it last year. The psychiatrist is not ready to diagnose him with bipolar, but not ready to completely rule it out either. He is definitely approaching puberty - hair growth and body odor - so it could be just that.

Anyway - like I said - not much help. But just to let you know you're not alone with it. Good luck!

Wow, I am astounded at how many women responded to get her tested for bipolar disorder. This does not sound like the classic symptoms of bipolar disorder in the least. Bipolar mood swings generally last several days to weeks to months and are not normally daily changes. They are also very extreme. When in the manic stage they can be practically bouncing off the walls, euphoric and believe they are invincible whereas the depression cycle is extreme depression whereby they sometimes can't stop crying, can't get out of bed, have an extreme feeling of hopelessness.

It does sound like hormones perhaps or even just frustrations and confusion over body changes. She could also be upset about something but not mature enough yet to really get a handle on what it is and how to express it.

Girls can start having normal body changes and hormone changes as early as 8 years old. I found that there are alot of great books on amazon.com that are written both for the girls going through the changes as well as for the parents. Also, it might be a good idea to talk with her and tell her that you've noticed she seems a little sensitive lately and ask her if anything is wrong or if she wants to talk about it. Its a good idea to get your child to open up to you about their feelings and it lets them know that you believe that their feelings actually matter.

She may be displacing her feelings and she may be frustrated or upset about other things entirely. She may not even know what is upsetting her but if you ask her a few questions like "is something bothering you at school" or "did something happen with a friend" or even "did I do something to upset you," she may begin to think about what might be bothering her. I have done the same with my daughter and if she says she doesn't know why she's acted a certain way, I ask her to think about how she is feeling and see if she can figure it out. Let her know you're always available to talk if she needs you.

It is a very trying time for both of you. I have a 14 year old who went through the same things. One minute she is fine and the next she is screaming or in tears for no apparent reason. I also have a 12 year old son. All he had to do was look at her and she was bawling her eyes out. She went through days of saying, "no one likes me", "everyone picks on me", "you always take his side", etc. I love both of my children and have tried to never take sides. Her emotions were a rollercoaster from hell. She started her periods at 12 and it isn't better, but at least it is more of a cycle now. I keep up with the dates and my son and I try to be understanding at that time.

I never really had the emotional baggage of pms, but undoubtably she does. It is just easier to try to fix the foods she likes and watch what she wants (to a point) during her time than it is to deal with the rollercoaster. Has she started yet? If not keep track. It may come in a cycle just like pms. Jess's did. Once I noticed this it was easier to pacify her and the rollercoaster didn't travel quite as high or quite as fast.

hope this helps. let me know.

I'm going through the same thing. My daughter just turned 11 and she had her 1st period last week (right after her birthday). She's as tall as I am (5'6") and she's got an attitude about that big. Last night I flat out told her that she needs to check her attitude and fix it because it wasn't going to fly. She backed down and we talked after that. A lot of things hit these girls at once and we're the unfortunate ones that get the brunt of it. Hubby has already said that he's taking the dogs and moving to the woods.

You can't just assume that she's bi-polar. Everyone's bi-polar according the doctors. It's called hormones. If she does have a chemical imbalance, it needs to be checked by your doctor but just don't take the first answer. They diagnosed me with bi-polar and the doctor was COMPLETELY WRONG - not even in the ball park. You have to remember, we were ALL that way and still that way when we're getting ready to start our periods. The influx of hormones, the mood changes, the breakouts, etc. It's all part of development.

Hang in there!

I wish I had some advice. All that I can tell you is what everyone else tells me. Hang in there. I have a 12 yr old daughter and she's been like this since she was 11. I think there should be a support group for mom's with daughters this age. I'll be checking your board to see if you get any good advice. If you need to vent sometimes, I understand, send me an email. Good Luck.

This is not to alarm you, but you might also want to talk to her doctor about the signs/symptoms of mania and bipolar disease. Just something to look into, since the sudden mood changes are classic signs. Best of luck.
J.

Okay while I understand giving her leeway because of her hormones you have to be frank with her that "hysterics" like the girls on the old southern bell movies ARE NOT GOING TO BE TOLERATED.

Obviously the tempertantrums are short lived but they are still tempertantrums. If she leaves the table or refuses to eat what you serve then it's her loss. Don't go running after her or plead through the door saying you're going to make her something else. Believe me, no guy is going to put up with this when she gets older and involved so why should you?

Sit her down and tell her the house rules including eating her meals at the table with the rest of the family and lay out the punishment for when she doesn't follow the rules. Then follow through. If you feel it's truly PMS then there are pills that she can take to lower the grumpy hormones.

My neice is 10 and just started. Her hormone swings were so bad her step mom divorced her dad. Her dad babied her every month and while sm didn't have to go through it every month anymore she didn't think it was fair since dad never babied sm every month before her hysterectomy.

HI I AM A MOM OF 3 AND I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MYSELF AND IT IS NOT HORMONE IT HAS ALOT TO DO WITH DEPRESSION AND I THINK SHE NEEDS ANTI DEPRESSANTS THEY WILL HELP ALOT I DIDNT THINK THEY COULD HELP ME BUT I DONT CRY NOW AND I AM ALOT HAPPIER NOW AND I LOVE TAKING MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS....TAKE CARE AND I HOPE THIS HELPS

I have an 11 year old daughter as well. And she is the exact same way!! It is so frustrating. I talked with her Dr. about it and she told me to give her a combination of the following vitamins and it really worked for her: Evening Primrose and Vitamin B Complex, once a day. We came to the conclusion that it is hormones, and as much as we don't want to hear it they are getting closer to starting their periods and that has alot to do with it.

Where r u from? Shoot me a message if u would like to stay in contact!

S.

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