Girls Camp: Am I Pushing It?

I am in the same situation. My daughter is 4 months old right now and I can't imagine being away from her for more than a day. They still asked me to go to camp this year so I thought about it and decided that right now is not a good time for me to go. You never know how your baby will react. Just decide if you are willing to go through it no matter how your daughter takes it. You don't want to end up regretting that you went. You will have plenty of years to go when your daughter is older, so don't feel guilty about saying no now. I hope you can find the best decision for you and your baby.

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Every child is different and every mother is different. You are your child's mother. You know whats best for your child. No, it's not too early to leave a child, but it may be too early to leave your child. If you don't feel good about it, then don't do it. Who knows how your child will react to being away from you. Will it damage her psyche? I doubt it, but it won't be easy on her either. She may bond with grandma, and they may have a closer relationship. But, who knows. Whatever your choice, it will be the right one. Your children are only little once. You don't get time back. Never apologize for spending time with your child over other peoples. You can always have the experience of girls camp later on in life. Volunteer to take a new mothers place when she's in the same situation somewhere down the road. Make your choice and feel good about it.

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Why not take your baby with you to Girl's camp? I had leaders that brought their babies to camp when I was a teenager and I thought it ws fun to have a little one around, babies usually have fun camping! It is not as scary as it may seem, so long as you are careful about campfires and stuff. My only worry for you if you decide to leave your baby to go to camp is that you may get a painful plugged duct and/or mastitis, bring a hand pump with you to avoid this. have fun camping!

I think you should consider taking her with you. She needs you and you can still do all the camp things too. You will have help. Most girls at camp can't wait to get their hands on the little one, good hands at that. I took my son to girls camp when I was still nursing. It was a blast!

K.,
It looks like you are not feeling comfortable about the idea of leaving your daughter for a week. If you are still breastfeeding at that time, I don't see how you will be able to do it physically. Here is also another quesiton for you: How challenging will it be for YOU emotionally? Here is where you really get to check inside and what feels like the best answer for you. This is a question that you get to stop thinking about everyone else and come to realize that best answer for you. Should you still decide to do this, the practice runs sounds like an excellent idea.
Wishing you all the best in this decision.
With my whole heart, C.

We left our babies when they were only a couple of months old with Grandma and Papa. They came to our home to watch the kids while we took a vacation for a week.

The children did fine - it was mom who had withdrawls!!! :)

You aren't harming your child in anyway and it's probably better for her as it will help her know you come back when you go away and she won't be anxious about it everytime you leave her with someone.

Have fun!
C.

I had to go to girls camp last summer when my son was only 8 months old. He did fine, and so did I. I made sure I had plenty of milk in the freezer, and I brought my pump along with me. There was no way to keep that milk cold, so I just did a pump and dump, I was hard throwing out all that milk, but when you're camping, there really isn't anything else you can do. I think 11 months is plenty old enough, but leaving a baby is a very personal decision, so do what you think is best.

WOW! so many different suggestions & options for you. I agree that you have to decide what's best for you & your baby. I am a Flight Attendant & I went back to work when my son was 3 mo. old. Sure, it was hard...I made a big deal about letting him know that Mama always comes back. It's made it easier in his life to be with different people, and not be so clingy to me. I think it's a great idea to try if for a night, and see how Grandma
does too, before going away for the whole week. It's amazing how adaptable children are, especially when you are loving & very available to them when you are with them. When I would be gone for 3 days, I'd come home & just smother him with all my love & attention. You'll figure it out. You sound like a loving Mom & that's what matters. Sure, we all make mistakes, we just have to do the best we can with what we know. My best to you & your family.

My son was around 10 months old when my husband and I went on a four-day get away. I was also breastfeeding him at the time. My parents watched him and his older brother who was almost three then. The kids did great and the grandparents were more then happy to have some bonding time with them. However, I was the one constinantly missin the kids and truth be told I would much rather nurse then pump anyday. I had pumped to keep to supply up for when I returned. Overall, everything was a success and when we got home it was right back to normal. Worries aside, your daughter will be ok. If anything you'll be the one missing her. Good Luck!!

Is there any reason why you can't take her with you? She'll be able to nurse and have mom around and, by 11 months she should handle it quite well.

I first left my baby when he was about 6 months old and he did fine. We only went for a couple of days, but there were no problems. I have 2 kids now and one is 5 and one is 20 months. We don't travel a lot, but my husband and I will go away for a couple of nights and niether one of them have a problem when we leave or when we come back. I am having a baby in april as well and may be going to girls camp in july and leaving the baby, depending on how things go. I think it all comes down to what you feel comfortable with. If you are worried about leaving your baby, all you will be able to think about is your little girl. So you need to do what is best for you. Your daughter will probably be fine, but it is never easy to leave them the first time. Emotionally, even if she misses you, she won't remember any of it. If grandma watches her I would just send things your daughter is familar with, a favorite toy or blanket, and try to have grandma keep the same routene you do. Do what you feel good about. I think trying an overnighter is a good idea as well.

Not sure if this will help or is even an option for you, but my husband and I are children's pastors and had to take the kids to kid's camp for a week this summer. Our son was 6 months old and there was no way to keep him back home (I was breastfeeding too). I ok'ed it with the camp (they were a bit relucatant, but I assured him he was an easy kid) and brought him along (he's a relatively quiet, easy baby) along with his pack-n-play, bouncer/exersaucer, portable high chair, backpack carrier, blankets and lots of toys and food! During meals, I got him busy with food in his high chair early so I could serve, at night, he slept in my cabin in the pack-n-play, and during activities, I either put him in his exersaucer or backpack. It was a great experience. It was a lot of extra stuff to pack, but we needed to rent a U-hual anyway with 12 kids in a 15 passenger van anyway so it all fit just fine. You might find that this is an option that you hadn't thought of! Good luck! My experience was great (except all the kids got sick with the stomach flu, but we worked through that!!!) and I'd do it again with him in a heartbeat!

S., 26, mom of Tyrrone, 14 months, and #2 on the way in Aug

I think if you have the opportunity to do something positive for yourself you should. A week isn't that long. I DO not recommend taking her with you, you need time to be alone/with your friends. She may not be very happy about going either. Having her in her comfort zone is probably the best thing for her with your mom.

We as mom put a lot of burderns on ourselves to always be there for our children, which to a degree we should be, however we forget about ourselves and our own well being.
I have heard so many times over the past few years you have to do something for yourself and will be a better mother for it. Pump enough ahead of time and have it stored in the freezer if you are concerned about the breast milk. At 11 mos she will be getting a lot more solids anyway.

Yes, it will be hard, probably more on you then your daughter. She will be fine. If you are trusting of your mom to follow your routine, she will probably really benefit and enjoy that special time with Grandma.

Don't stress, try hard not to. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty as I think it is a great thing to get away sometimes, it honestly gives your daughter security in knowing you will return when you leave. We get so self sacrificing sometimes that I think we don't realize how refreshed we will be when we return and be better moms. They say a happy mom results in happy kids!

I am guilty in 3.5 years of solo parenting never having left my kids overnight (they have had sleepovers) or taking the breaks as often as I should. I realize now that if I had the opportunity and had someone I truly trusted to watch them that I would come back so much more patient and relaxed probably! :)

I have a friend that had her daughter stay at her grandparents for five days, she was so worried but she said she was so renewed at parenting when her daughter came back and it was a very positive break for them both.

11mos of age they have no real concept of time, just their routine. Three days won't mean anything more to her then seven, promise! Have fun, relax and keep us posted! :)
It will be harder on you then it will your daughter.

Hi K.,
I would think you will have a really hard time getting her to continue nursing if you stop for a whole week so you would want to wean her before you go or you will be physically miserable. And also be prepared for changes in her personality for a while, as she will be interacting with someone else. Her sleeping and eating schedules will probably be impacted as well. For me, I would think a weekend would be all I would do. I just keep thinking back to my daughters and that was right when they were learning to walk and it happened so fast without warning. I wouldn't have wanted to miss that. Go and have fun at the camp but maybe consider a weekend trip.
Take care,
B.

Hi K.,

When my son was 10 months old his daddy and I went away for a week. We had been nursing, but he decided to stop a few weeks before I left him. He did great and my mom stayed with him. I was a little weepy about leaving my baby, but we all survived!

Also, on the trip, there was a mommy who was pumping to keep her milk supply for when she got back to her 6 month old baby.

A.

I'd go, but that's just me. I would say that weaning her before you go would be your best option. DH and I went to Germany for a week when my youngest was 9 months (we weaned at 8 mos), and it was great! Grandma watched them. We joked that we would stay in Germany forever and 'ship' the kids out there with us, because we did miss them greatly, but loved it there so much.

I think it's healthy to get away - but again, that's my opinion.

Frankly, I'm surprised that they'd ask you to do it. My babies weaned themselves at 10 months, so it wouldn't have been a problem for me, but I can't believe that people wean their children just to take a trip, or for Girl's Camp (I've heard it before). If they were just looking for an excuse to wean, then fine. But I don't think you should be asked to wean your child before you're ready to.
I was summoned for jury duty when my son was about 6 months old. I called them up and said I'd love to do my duty, but thought it might be tough because I have a nursing baby. The woman on the other end of the phone said, "Are you crazy? You don't have to do jury duty if you're nursing a baby! I'll send you a letter right now that says you're excused."
And that was going be only during the day.
So I think you're excused from Girl's Camp, too. But talk to your leaders about it, tell them your concern, and see what they say.
BTW, my MIL told me that she read that the longer you breastfeed, the lower your risk of breast cancer. If you accumulate 7 years over your lifetime, it reaches 0% chance. So good job, keep it up as long as you can! I would have done longer, but my boys were in a hurry to grow up.

I vote for the take her with you option. We take our little kids camping and they enjoy it. Find out how 'rough' it will be and then you can plan for it. There will be lots of help for the baby and whatever your responsibilities will have, too. If your family goes camping, I would go a couple times before girl's camp. Then you will know what to expect.
Practicing with Grandma is a great idea. It will give Grandma the opportunity to see how things go, too. I would bring some special toys from home, but also have some toys that are special to Grandma's house. My mom has some toys that my daughter loves to play with and that helps her be calm when I am not there. Also as you learn how to calm your daughter, share those things with Grandma. If she has a favorite song, or likes to be cuddled a certain way, let Grandma try those things, too.
As I have been writing, I was wondering where Daddy is going to be. If Grandma can watch during the day, and then Daddy take over a night when he gets home from work, that would be ideal. It will be a special time just for Daddy to take care of his little girl and for her to spend more time with him. Of course, she will still miss Mom, especially at night, but that week would be precious for both of them.
I am glad you are preparing for this now. There is a lot that can happen between now and then, so the more options you have the better. If you do want to leave her with Grandma, it will be hard for you and for her. If you are still nursing, be sure to have a pump or something. Otherwise, you will be in a lot of pain without her to nurse. Good luck and enjoy your little girl!!

She will certainly miss you, but not as much as you'll miss her. Especially if you're still going to be breastfeeding. I left my son for a long weekend to go to a wedding when he was 9mos and almost died from missing him sooo much! And since I was still breastfeeding, too, it was really painful to not have him nurse. I took the breastpump, but it was really no substitute for the efficiency of my baby's nursing abilities. If you commit to the whole week, it will seem like the longest week of your life. Now that my kids are much older, I have no problem going away for a week and leaving them with their Daddy, but when they were babies, it hurt to be away from them, both physically and emotionally. I think your idea of doing a few getaways is great...it'll prepare both of you for the full week separation. And have your little girl spend lots of time with Grandma between now and then so she won't feel like she's with a stranger when the time comes. Good luck!

Wow, so many different opinions on this one. I own a Pampered Chef business and travel 2 times a year to conferences. I started my business when my oldest was 4 months old. My kiddos are now almost 5 and 3 and I have not missed a conference. I am usually gone 5 days at a time. When my little ones were still breat feeding I pumped after every feeding and froze the extra before I left. That way when I was gone they didn't need to be switched to formula. I also pumped while I was away to maintain my supply for them when I got home.

The breaks were great for me. It allowed me to have some me time. I never worry about my kids because my in-laws watch them every time I go. When I come home I appreciate the rest that I've had and seem to be able to cope with the everyday issues better! It is also great for my kids becuase it starts to teach them that I'm not the only person in their lives that cares about them and can take care of them. It also helps with clinginess issues that I have with my youngest.

When I got back after my first trip it took him about a day to transition from looking to Grandma for his needs to looking to me. This was actually a good thing as it allowed me to recoup from my trip a little before I really got back into the swing of things.

So long story short, I would go if it is something that you really want to do. Your little one will be fine without you (sorry to say) and it will have no adverse affects on her development. If you still want to breastfeed her there is no reason that you need to wean her, just plan ahead. Make sure to bring lovies with her and let you Mom know of any special "bonding" routines that you have.

Of course you should go and do something for yourself! She'll have no recollection of it after it's all said and done. My oldest son was 6 months old when my M. and dad took him to South Dakota, my youngest daughter was a year old when my husband and I went on a 5 day cruise, they don't remember me gone at all!
Go and have fun, the parents who never leave their kids end up with kids who can't seem to learn any independence and and no self confidence at all. I've seen it in my neice and nephew, they can't seem to function normally when their M. is away, it's very sad, and they are 3rd and 7th grade now!

you never know with this age how they will respond. my sister in law left her 1 yr old with her parents for a week while she went out of the country. she'd weaned her son and he knew his grandparents pretty well. but she said the reunion with her son was heartbreaking because it was as if he didn't recognize her. it took about a week for things to be normal again.
i didn't go on the trip with them because i wasn't ready to wean my 1 yr old.

The very fact that you're wondering about this future situation suggests to me you're not comfortable with the idea of leaving your baby.
Personally, I wouldn't be, either. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends continuing brestfeeding at least until the end of Baby's first year, and thereafter as long as is mutually desired. The World Health Organization, UNICEF, and the last U.S. Surgeon General all recommend at least two years of breastfeeding, if you can believe it. Human milk is an amazing fluid, but it's the loving contact with mom that makes it such a valuable experience overall for Baby. I think babies and moms go together.
I just really doubt Girls' Camp is important enough for you to compromise this short season you have with your baby. I'm sure you love the girls, but. . . a week is nothing to them and it's a very long time to your baby and it's not like you'd be going for a spa getaway or something relaxing--you'll be working! The hassle of maintaining lactation by pumping (especially in a camping atmosphere) would feel like a big deal, and you'd likely be dealing with latch issues when you return after being gone for a week.
You could consider taking Baby with you, especially if you commit to less time there. My concern with that option is that the girls might be distracted by your baby. You know your young women--if it's OK for them to be near a baby without feeling distracted from their own activities, then great. It can be healthy or a problem. (I've worked with a couple girls who were a little too wrapped up in the idea of being moms before their proper season, and it concerned me.)
You could consider leaving Baby for an abbreviated time. I don't know how far away Girls' Camp is, but people are often coming and going all week. You could consider riding up and back with people who bring food or the priesthood leaders who come to help, and either bring Baby along or leave her just for that short time with Grandma. (How nice to have a willing grandma to help!)
I think it's also worthwhile to consider the kind of example you're setting for the girls you work with. Young women really do learn about motherhood from watching their leaders. If you set the precedent that moms and babies go together, even when it's not completely convenient, and you're not completely comfortable without Baby, they will see what a big responsibility and privilege motherhood is. It is, after all, your greatest and most important calling. Everything else is secondary, and you shouldn't let yourself be pushed beyond your comfort level just because other people are OK with it.
I waited until my first child was about 18 months old (still nursing) before I left him with a family member overnight. He was three when I left him to stay with family for one week and even at that late age we needed to warm up a bit (like two days)before we were the same again. I was glad he'd gotten so close and comfortable with my grandma, but there was a definite difference right after he got back. That baby is six now and I have a three-year-old and a 5-month-old, too. I've never left the other two overnight yet and I haven't left the baby longer than a couple of hours. My oldest is in school and is away for hours and hours at a time. . . this attached stage of babyhood and toddlerhood is really short, both for good and for bad. He is healthy, happy and confident--I think being healthily attached to family gives him a greater sense of security and confidence. My middle child went to church nursery happily and loves being in Primary class now--no problems with seperation when it's in the right doses at the right time.
Sorry to be so long, but your request squeezed my heart a bit. Only you can know what's right for your family, but I suggest you make your decision based on what matters most to you, not on any perceived obligations.