Girl's 1St Period - "A Time to Celebrate" Opinions?

Okay, well I'm not familiar with this book, but I will say that when I got my period my father sent me a dozen roses as a "congratulations" on becoming woman and I was MORTIFIED. I did not want to celebrate, I did not care about being woman, I just wanted to crawl into a hole. Granted, I was only 11, so that may have had something to do with it, but still.

I have absolutely no idea if that's the way this book or you were going, but I just wanted to throw that out there! ;) I'm all for teaching about the body and respecting it, but any other form of celebration is unnecessary in my opinion! Hah!

I don't know about that book, but there's another one I'd recommend called "Don't Give it Away." It's more of a rite of passage to womanhood,with wonderful tools for young ladies.
I think it's really important that this time be viewed in a positive supportive way. yay for you and what a lucky girl you have!

I also did not want to celebrate. I did not want boys (my dad and brothers for example) to know anything about it and I certainly did not want a big deal made about it. My mom told her beautician and since we lived in a small town, everyone knew by dinner. It was mortifying.

Sorry I haven't read the book but I can tell you my experience...
When I got my period my mom gave me a "purity" necklace. It was a gold chain with a pearl pendant. The pearl stood for my purity as a woman and the fact that I was to sustain from sexual activity until marriage. I wore that necklace with pride and anytime I was in a tempting situation with a boy I remembered what my mother expected of me.
I plan on doing the same for my daughters one day. I actually plan on passing down my necklace to my oldest. I know that young girls get their period sooner these days but I was 13 when I got mine so I understood the idea of purity. Maybe you could get her a nice piece of jewelry to "celebrate" her womanhood!

Oh my.... You have a lot of replies and I just can not read through them all. Thanks for sharing the information about this book. I did not even know of it being such a book. Now as far as the idea to celebrate... I am all for it. We did this in my family when I was coming up and I think it was totally awesome... May be the reason I went into women's health and speak so openly about sexuality, health development and issues of the body. I think it is good to recognize our bodies as this amazing gift that God had created and the crossing over into fetility years is a celebration. I feel if the subject was more open and not looked at as taboo, then we would not have some of the mistakes that are made. I really am hoping I am raising my children with the open thoughts and open door to sexuality and pubity.
In regards to your question.... When I was a teenager and each of us got our periods; we were able to "join the club". My Aunt called it the "PTB Club". Permission to B#&%@ club... When I got my first period, my aunt. mom and older cousins went shopping and brought an outfit and packages of panties. LOL.... My aunt told me I then could retire some of my current panties into the period panties pile. We went and got our hair done and ended the evening with icecream. YUMMM.... I remember my cousin saying and if the cramps get bad, know that ice cream with chocolate sauce cures it all.... It was so special of a day. I remember my one of my younger cousins even saying.... Awww I could not go because I do not yet belong to the club; but I can not wait to get my period... She was 9 LOL... It was such a womderful time I am old and still can tell you what I wore.
I have tried to do this with a couple of my good friends girls. The only difference is we brought it a little more current and added a trip to get our nails and toes done... With my daughter, I plan on the same. We will go out to lunch, go shopping, go to the hair stylist and get the feet and nails done.... I want her to be proud of her body and never be ashamed at anything it can do. I really hope this also keeps our lines of communication open. I get paid to guide other girls through it, but I sure wish more moms would do it instead of me. It should be a time to celebrate and you enjoy as much as seeing the kids when "Santa" has come... Good for you S.!

I have three daughters, two of whom are well past their first menses. At the time each of them came of age in this way, we did a little ceremony with other women who were close to them and one or two very close friends. Little sisters who had not reached this stage were NOT invited! NO men allowed, either. It was for "women" only, not a birthday party or something. A true women's sharing circle in a more ancient style tradition. Somewhere about 9 people total in a private place we could have all to ourselves.

Everyone was asked to dress beautifully as their most powerful goddess selves. Each person was asked to bring a gift of something red, including a small red bead or stone that would go into a special red pouch. Each person was also asked to come up with a story or bit of wisdom to tell the newest woman in the circle about what it is like to bleed every month, interactions with the opposite sex, and seeing herself as special with her new ability to not only bring forth new life but to also gain the insight and intuition that comes with the hormonal cycles of women and their moon times. We shared foods such as a pomegranate, apple (if you cut it crossways, you get a five-pointed star of the seeds, sacred to the Goddess), dark chocolate (what woman's gathering would be complete without chocolate!), and a single glass of red wine to pass around. We generally welcomed her into the "sisterhood" of women and our own sisterhood and told her in no uncertain terms that we accepted and would be there for her no matter what. We gave her a journal to keep her thoughts in, encouraging her to use her special moon times to go inside and write about or draw about what she was feeling.

With my second daughter, we used her red pouch with the red beads/stones in it as a way for her to signal to me when she was feeling pre-menstrual or was bleeding. If she was feeling extra emotional, cranky, or withdrawn because of this, she would hang the pouch from the end of her bed or from her bedroom door knob, and it helped me to not be quite so demanding of her (politeness, willingness to do chores, or if we had an argument this let me understand what might be behind it) when I could see that pouch.

There's a great article in a recent Mothering magazine about this. Take a look online:

http://www.mothering.com/health/first-moon-rising-making-...

Don't know the book but love the idea. Knowing my daughter and the introverted streak in our entire family, I think if my mom is able (my daughter is only 3.5 now: ), a female multi-generational womanly bonding experience would be wonderful. I like to think of menstruation as a time of retreat, evaluation, quiet inward time. I like the idea of respecting rituals, seasons, development... to celebrate what is left behind and prepare for what is to come. A dinner, a tea, maybe our own menstruation stories, appreciation of our bodies, a book about strong women...

You will make it different because you're already thinking about the question. What a thoughtful mama!

Jen

See what your daughter would like to do and how she feels about it when her 'time' comes. I didn't want it made a big deal and I especially didn't want it celebrated.
I would have died or killed my mom (LOL) if she would have celebrated it.

It's not school's job to give medical advice. Kids aren't passing hpv around in school like measles. Do your research on this vaccine carefully. Also, if your daughter is that age (11), she may not be a few years away from her period. Girls get it younger now. My daughter was 11 yrs 8 months.

I haven't used that book but some girls do have some kind of celebration (a Red Party) or a gift or something. Honestly, I don't think it is a decision you can make. Some girls might find this embarrassing. I would advise you to let your daughter be YOUR guide as to how to acknowledge her period. Good luck!

Wow, nobody did anything for me and I found the whole idea of my family knowing modifying. But I think a mother daughter dinner or something is a great great idea. FYI, loved the book Epidemic written by a pediatrician detailing from her experience with what kids go though when they become sexually active too young. Though its written for parents, I'd so encourage my kids to read it. Really really eye opening and convinced me to encourage abstinence with my children. Maybe dinner and give her a book, not to discourage conversation, that should be there too.

I was 14 and both my daughters were 14 (they are in their 20's). I did give a small special gift that they could have as a keepsake but I kept it low key and private presentation so their dad and brother was unaware, to respect their privacy and prevent embarassment. Of course since they were somewhat older they were well prepared for what it was all about. Their friends had already gotten their periods and they had learned about it in health class but we had also read books from the library. I prepared them for the possibility of them being "older" because when I was that age ALL my freinds had had theirs for ages and I felt so left out and actually thought there was something wrong with me not to start till 2 yrs after everyone else.
I gave them a small card telling them how proud I was of the young woman they were becoming etc and I gave them 1fresh red rose in a vase and then a small vase with an artistic glass bouquet of flowers they could have to keep. They seemed to like the small private special "celebration" where the significance was acknowledged but still not too much publicity.

I'll be honest, I think it all depends on your daughter. My mom made a big deal about my period, but all I really wanted was for her to keep quiet about it and not tell a soul. I think that if I am blessed with a daughter, I will ask her what she wants. If she wants to celebrate and have a "woman's day", then I will do that, but if she wants me to stay quiet about it, then I will do that too. I hope this helps and good luck!

What's next? Celebrating getting boobs or pubic hair LOL !!

I personally think it's a great idea. I don't understand why some people act like you are going to have a parade go thru town with her on top of the float with a huge sign announcing she got her period & dad & brothers are pulling the float chanting "she got it". This is a very private thing but can be celebrated VERY tastefully without announcing it to the world or to dad or brothers or the waitress.

I personally love Tawnya's experience with the purity necklace, how nice & special. My sis & I wanted to do something special for my niece (13) & we discussed it with her & her younger sister (11) how they would feel about making it a special day, and they loved the idea. They know it's not going to be a fun experience but why not turn it to something "positive" instead of gross, nasty, painful, humiliating.

We decided to do a gift basket with a heating pad, chocolates, special blanket, midol, & feminine products. We also go to a special lunch for all the woman that have it (so as of right now my younger niece who is 11 can't go yet or my dghtrs who are 3 & 5). And I think I will read that book & consider Tawnya's purity necklace idea & do that for all the girls when their time comes.

I have never heard of that book but will be getting it. And I don't know if my sis opted for the guardasil. Oh and we didn't go out to "celebrate" on the actual day she got it. We went out later when she felt back to normal.

I wish my mom had made a special event for the two of us out of it, but at least I didn't have a bad experience. I think it would be nice to go out for dinner or something. But don't assume you're daughter is years away, talk to her now, tell her about your plans and tell her you hope she'll let you know as soon as she starts. I started in 6th grade.

As for Gardasil? I'm totally not doing it. I don't think there's been nearly enough research:(

Greetings S., I want to share a cute story from our experiance of being the parents of 5 with 2 of them being girls-- sometimes I wish I had prayed harder for all boys! My girls were so close to thier father and he was everything to them which I think is wonderful, so he was very involved as you will see from the story. They talked about it with me and thier cousins before I could even tell DAD.
When my daughter turned 9 she started her cycle. It was not fun for any of us as she really was the only one of her friends to do so. But we are a fun bunch of people, and my kids have always been ones to be telling it like they see it group.
So she called her dad at work and told him she was going to spend all day making him a pie. He comes home` not fond of lemon pie but looking forward to eatting it and she greets him at the door and puts it in his face -- while yelling " Its all your fault I'm a girl and have to go thru this" After everything was cleaned up, she stopped crying and us stopped laughing ---- the 2 of them went by themselves into the family room and just talked . He learned about her fears, concerns how boys will treat her differently because she will develope and so on, and about how she hated the entire process.( we had already talked often prior) I got called in about an 1/2hour later and he and I explained the purpose of pro creation and that her body was young but was preparing her to fulfill her role, her life as a woman, wife, mother, and CEO of what ever she needed to .
Then dad left and the door bell rings and its roses and a I LOVE PIE sign.
We made sure that all our children male and female -- don't kid yourself that the boys don't go thru this!! Understood that their bodies were very special to them and designed for a respectful relationship. To borrow a phrase I once heard and we used to tell our children " Your bodies are a Temple of God, not a visiting center-- so don't take what you do with it lightly".
So hope this helps some. It is great that you are getting ready, be sure to add Motrin to the list for youreself! :o]

I'm not familiar with the book, however, I don't think that this in an event that should be celebrated. For my daughter it was a very private thing. She's been having her period for 3 years, and still doesn't want me to know when it's occuring. I too felt the same way growing up. (maybe because we both started around our 10th birthday, on the younger side).

I'm glad your thinking ahead. It's always a good idea to start talking about it early to prepare her and make sure she knows she can always come to you if she has questions.

I am not familiar with the book.

My daughter and I do have wide open lines of communication and I feel that is one of the most important things to have. I am her mom, not her friend, and she knows I will always listen, not judge and have her back.

It is perfectly wise to teach about the body and respect for her body but starting a period is not something I would want to see on the nightly news.

That said, if my mom shared news about my first period I think I would have killed her (lol), how embarrassing.

Same for my daughter, I would never put her through that humiliation. I told her I would tell no one unless she asked me to. She too would have been mortified if I had told her dad or anyone else.

It is a private thing around here. I am glad I am done with mine forever, WHOO HOO.

As for guardisil, NO my daughter will be get the vaccine. Not only is it my decision, it is her body and her decision as well. With all the information we have gathered, we have chosen that it will not be given.

I LOVE the idea of the 'red bag' hung on the door! My 9yo hasn't started yet but she is starting to get moody and seem hormonal so I don't think it will be too much longer.
I started my first time at a family friends house and had to ask the mom for a pad. She then told my mom who came in crying and told everyone there that I had started. Talk about wanting to die! I am going to have a girls day out w/ my daughter and keep it low key but still keep it something special.

Lots of opinions and responses on this one! I see it as a "passing into womanhood" time, but don't think it calls for cake and cards. Could you "celebrate" with your daughter by doing something special with her that is (stereotypically) womanly? Perhaps the two of you go to get a mani/pedi together and then go shopping afterwards for a few new pairs of undies? I think that would allow her to know it is a special time, nothing to be embarrassed of, and will give her a special afternoon with mom to remember it by.

I think it depends on her personality, to be honest. My family was very big with the "a time to celebrate" and I remember at first being soo jealous of my female cousins when they got their period and their mom (my aunt) and grandma took them to celebrate. It was such a big deal. But - when it was my turn I was mortified. I hated everything about it (even though I was so jealous before, haha). I hated the embarrasment of my mom and grandma telling the waitress we were "Celebrating" and they got me a cake and a card. I didn't think I would have been so embarrased, but I was.

So, I think it is a great idea that you already thinking about the future and I would def keep that open line of communication open with your daughter. But, I would also play it be ear and when the day comes see how she would like to "celebrate".

Good Luck!

I dont know anything about this book but I think it would depend on your daughter. My mom and I never talked about anything personal so when I started my period I didnt even tell her at first, I tried to use her tampons and when I couldnt figure it out I finally and very embarassed told her. When my sister started hers I was a freshman in college and she didnt want to talk to my mom about it at all so I explained to her about keeping clean, tampons, pads, etc. I would not have been comfy with celebrating it but I know some of my friends would have liked to have had a party! I think if she would be comfy with it than do it! Good luck!

Ok, if my mom would have made a special even out of it, that would have been fine. It may have even been nice. However, my dad is the one who made the special event out of it, after my mom went out of the bathroom and told him...after I begged her not to tell him bc I was so confused and embarrassed.

It was definitely memorable. I will never forget it. Applebee's, Chicken Fajita Roll-up, side of honey mustard and Fries. I remember this so vividly because I stared at the plate the entire time as my dad gave me the talk about "womanhood" and kept trying to reassure me that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. I can still see the brown spots in the fajita bread.

Just don't involve her dad in this celebration. That's my only advice.

I do think that periods are a time to celebrate, women's body are wonderful perfect machines. Men's too but they don't have babies so I think our is more amazing.
My problem comes not with the period but at how early age some girls get them.
I don't know you, but my periods sucks! The day before I get a awful migraine and when I was a teen they use to be a lot worst: pimples, headaches, grumpy, pain, plus those accidents, uggg.
I sure don't wish that to anybody and specially not to a 8 year old, poor little things. I think if we all would get them around 18 I wouldn't be so upset.
I still don't understand the point of a little girl having to be scare so she doesn't get an "accident at school" she shouldn't have kids!
I remeber when my mom call me one day to tell me my little sister got hers, I didn't knew what to say, I told her "congratulation, btw, you can call me if you have any question". but true is I wanted to say "I am sorry"

It sounds very embarrassing to me to do that to an 11+ yr old, have a celebration when she starts her period, but it seems like I'm in the minority here.

(And I'm not convinced yet that a Gardisil vac is safe or necessary. )

I don't know anything about this book, but maybe after her first period (when she feels better & her hormones are not acting up) you could have a special mom & daughter spa day to 'celebrate' her growing up. Or you could take her somewhere she would like to go & spend the day. Ask your daughter what she would want to do. I wouldn't make a big deal about it or let anyone else know because it could be embarassing to her.
I remember my 1st period & I was 15 y/o & in a lot of pain & was miserable that week. Fortunately it was early summer & I wasn't in school.
God bless!