Gifted Program - Newburgh,IN

First explain the advantages to him and then let him decide what he wants.If he is truely as gifted as his teacher thinks he is maybe he could wait until he is in Jr. High or High school.He should not be yanked out of a school he loves and away from his friends.

Sometimes the mental health of your child is more important than other things. It sounds like you know your child. You know you can still challenge him other ways through the existing school and also do outside activities that encourage him to learn. A lot of these gift programs push excelerated programs which force a kid to learn fast. Another idea take your child for a visit to the school or have him shadow for a day so you can see if this is a right fit for your child.

LIfe is full of adjustments and changes, and this seems to be a positive one. I would probably encourage my son to go for it, pointing out all of the positives and opportunities it could present, but ultimately leaving the decision up to him. This is a tricky age because they are feeling so grown up and wanting to make their own decisions, but it is still our job as parents to lead them in the right direction.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
~J.

I truly appreciate the honesty and openness in the others' responses.
My 2 cents...
I work as an Interventionist (special ed.) in the same district that my G&T son attends school. Each teacher is different. Some do well with G&T kids, others shove them into a corner and they are bored out of their skull.
1st and 2nd worked with him, K and 3rd either brushed him off or said he was a small behavior problem. Our district tests in 2nd, we pushed and tested in 1st. The 2nd grade teacher knew how to push his buttons. Our kids get to go to a different school one day a week at the elem. level to work with the G&T teacher. 5/6 each building is a little different.

Our son would have been completely miserable without the G&T outlet. The teacher understood his unique learning needs. (We just recently found out he has a sensory disorder.) She challenged him, advocated for him, and got the classroom teacher to make modifications to help him be success in the reg. classroom.

Due to the whole group test, he won't qualify for services next year. We WILL get him services, even if we have to pay to have him retested.

He doesn't deal well with change, to the point that we mark his calendar with any events that will affect him, and I call on my way home, if the evening routine will be different. Having this change was his safety net.

Each child is different. Find out if he's accepted, then do your research.

His best buddy at church is also in G&T in another district, with a lottery system. They are ecstatic about getting their first choice pick, even with the additional mound of Summer homework because of the life long benefits.

That's my 2 cents... :]

All three of my kids are now grown, but all were in the gifted program at our schools. It was a FANTASTIC opportunity for them and they just LOVED it. It was more work, but also more learning. They all thrived in that environment. They did not have to go to a completely different school, but it was part of the time away from their regular classes. It was wonderful. I highly recommend it if your child is nominated. (And, I really think if your child is nominated, that probably means they are planning on sending him...they wouldn't be wanting to get your hopes up for nothing.) My oldest started the gifted program in the 5th grade, DD#2 started in 4th grade, and DS started in 1st grade.

I realize since our situation was different (not having to change schools) and long ago, you may not be inclined to put much stock in my 2 cents, but I do want to speak just a bit about the other things you say. You feel your son does not do well with change, but you KNOW change is a part of life, and eventually, he will be going to different school as he gets older and I am a little concerned that you may be "feeding" this attitude a little bit. Obviously your child is very capable (intellectually) and if the teacher did not feel he was up to the challanges inherent in the program (including changing school) the teacher would not have recommended it.

Another thing that sort of speaks to me is your being sort of upset that your husband told your son about this..it is YOUR SON's LIFE. He should be in on discussions about it. and yes, his feelings should be considered, but I think if you were to turn down this opportunity because he is timid about change, you and he will forever regret the missed opportunity. Privately, you could talk to the teacher about possibilities-- what if he ABSOLUTELY hates it? can he go back to his regular school? but I don't think you should make that possibility or that discussion known to your son. I think you should talk to him and encourage him to do it. I think this is probably your oldest child, and I can see that you are still in the mode of making decisions for your child and doing things that set the course of his life for him. This is perfectly natural...this is part of parenting. But, by the time a child is 10 years old, they are nearing the age of accountability, they are understanding concepts that have long and far-reaching possibilities..they need to learn to make decisions for themselves, especially decisions that involve themselves. (for instance, my MIL bought all of my husband's clothes for him, even when he went away to college....this never let him express his personality in the way he dressed or to experience making a bad clothing choice, or saving and working to save his own money to buy something he really wanted --and possibly learning great truths about how clothes aren't really worth all that, etc.)

I think the thing the gifted program did the most FOR ME, as the mother, was to teach me to HELP my kids get to the point of making decisions for themselves that would affect themselves. (I am not talking about chores or anything like that. Of course our kids could not dictate where we lived, where we went to church, what kind of food we ate, what the set standards of behavior or rules of the house were, etc.) But oftentimes, I would try to get them to THINK about possibilities. like--we would be at a store and in the car to go home.... should we go this way or that way? You decide. Can you direct me how to drive to get home? Would the back way really be shorter? Would the regular way be really busy this time of day? another example, my daughter wanted to make a quilt..I found myself influencing her choice of fabrics...when she said "whatever you want, Mommy" that's when I realized it would only be HER quilt if SHE made the choices to suit herself... They would not have been MY choices...but it did turn out beautifully and it is DEFINITELY her quilt!

one other example and then I'll end this long note. When we moved to our current house, my son had the opportunity to change middle school for his last year of middle school. we live right on the line between 2 middle schools in our district. He decided to stay at his old middle school and the MAIN REASON was the gifted teacher at the old school... he wanted to have that last year of her influence...he didn't want to change to the new school. In retrospect, he thinks it would have probably been good for him to have been at the new school and meet those kids before they all came together at the high school, but at the time, he wanted that gifted teacher and says he would still have made that same decision because of that factor alone. I just want to say, even though your child thinks he does not like change, and enjoys everything staying the same...he will HAVE to change at various points in his life and you can help him have a good attitude about change..you can help influence that...and this may well be the very best thing for him, even if he does not think he would like to change.

It would probably be really good to talk to other parents and kids who are in the very same program your son is being considered for...see what they think and how it is working for them and what benefits they see from your school district's program...

Good luck!

This is my 4th year teaching gifted 5th grade students. In my opinion, I would let them test your son to see if he qualifies. If you decide not to receive services at least you will know what areas he is gifted in. I would recommend talking with the gifted coordinator to learn about the program (is is self-contained where the gifted kids spend the whole day with the gifted teacher or pull-out where they are in a typical classroom and pulled out for 1 or 2 subjects). Get all the info. you need before you make a decision. Of course the most important opinion belongs to your son. If he is not up for the challenge I wouldn't push it. Gifted classrooms can be very challenging. To be successful you need to be motivated and you need to have great study skills. When kids enter the program in the 5th grade it can be a shock because they have done well without a lot of effort and now they are being asked to work REALLY hard to do well. If he feels that school is boring and flies through the work then this would be perfect for him. Good luck!

I have 2 boys - a sophomore and a 6th grader. Both have tested gifted in various areas. My oldest son was not placed in the gifted program because he didn't test into gifted areas until later (past 4th grade) He has trouble now with motivation, turning in work, thinks he can pass tests without doing homework. I think if he had been challenged at a younger age we wouldn't have these issues now. My 6th grader is in the gifted program. He too has issues with change. And they have to change school eventually. If gifted children aren't challenged early on, they don't learn how to study or apply themselves. They will get to HS or college and not know what to do to study on their own. My son in the gifted program had a lot of adjustment problems in 5th grade but is doing fine in 6th. He would have been bored in a regular classroom and I'm hoping that the issues we overcame in 5th grade will make the transition to 7th grade - Jr High School a new building - go easier. My older son was bullied in middle school for being "smart" - that hasn't happened to my younger son since he is with like minded peers who want to learn and do well. Good luck with your decision. I would visit the school and talk with the program coordinator after he is accepted. I don't know if I answered your question, but seeing how high school is going I wish both of my sons were in the gifted program. The issues with not doing work doesn't start until JR High or HS age. What his teachers in 8th grade told me was that gifted children are usually the students who don't do their work -they can pass the tests and do well without doing HW - its just busy work to them. Eventually this will catch up to them and their grades will really drop. If your school has a gifted program all through HS I would definitely put him in.

I agree with other posters that it wouldn't hurt to see if your son qualifies, then research the program available at your school to see if you think it would be a good fit.

My 11-yr old is in her 2nd yr of gifted classes, and it's been a great success. A couple of her grades did go from A's to B's. I've discussed this with both her and her G&T teacher, and would actually rather see her work hard to earn high B's than be bored, skate through and earn A's. I think it is very valuable for kids to learn the importance of challenging themselves and striving to use God-given talents, whether they are intellectual, athletic, or other.

Luckily, part of the reason it works for us is because we have a good program. She is only pulled into the gifted classes for 3 subjects, and spends the rest of the day mainstream. She has become very close friends with the other students in her gifted class. Also, the teacher is fantastic. Not only do I think the curriculum is great, this woman truly cares about my child and pays attention to her as a person. When one of her grades slipped to a borderline-C earlier this year, the teacher made sure I knew about it as soon as it happened, we discussed the issue and worked with my daughter to correct it. (turned out it was actually a bit of laziness!)

I think if you gather all the info from your particular program, you'll have a much better idea of how well it may or may not work. Good luck!

I'll try to keep this as short and sweet as possible... We went through this exact thing with my son when he was in second grade going into third grade. He was accepted into the gifted program and at first we were really excited but the more I thought about the changes it would involve the more I thought it might not be the right thing for my son. He too, would have had to change schools and wouldn't be with his friends. Also, in our school system these kids stay together from third through sixth grades so the social aspect bothered me too. He would be in class with the same 15 kids for four years. We also worried about the pressure put on them to keep their grades high despite the fact that they were learning above grade level material. I did all the research I could think of including sitting in the classroom all morning watching the kids who were in the program that year, talking to his pediatrician, his teacher and the teacher he would have if I put him in the program. I also spoke to a parent of a girl who was in the program and asked her a lot of questions and finally I made an appt. w/ a counselor and had him evaluate my son and tell me if he thought he would be a good fit for the way the program was set up. That's where I finally found my answer, the counselor said that there wasn't anything wrong with gifted programs but the drawback was that they turned these kids into "apprentice adults". That phrase stayed with me as my husband and I made the decision to keep him in regular classes and provide him with additional intellectual stimulation at home. We've never regretted it. My son is now in high school and is in the same classes with the kids from the gifted program. He's actually best friends with one of them and they are very similar in their intellectual abilities despite one of them being in the program for four years and one not at all. Only you can know what is best for your child but don't feel like you are cheating him if you don't decide to enroll him. If he's as smart as his teacher thinks he is (and i'm sure he is :) ), then he'll be fine either way.

I would ask some parents in the program currently. How the transition was for their child, etc.
I would also make sure that it is actually more challenging work, not just more work. That's what some have felt that I have known.
And if your child has the right teacher in "regular" class, they can be challenged. I know of a teacher who does very well challenging the ones who can use it, but doesn't do well w/ the struggling learners (right-brainers). I imagine it would depend on the teacher(s) in the program just like in "regular" school. One of the projects that the G&T program did at our school, my son did in 2nd grade at another school.

Good luck w/ your decision!

Use the summer to help him adjust to CHANGE. Break routine, put yourselves in situations for him to meet other kids (summer programs and opportunities), etc. Let him get comfortable knowing that new opportunities can be FUN! Talk about how much fun it is to meet new people and learn new things. Talk about visiting other countries, etc., if you have, and what you learned from the experience. CREATE EXCITMENT for new experiences. Talk about any fears or reservations.

I think it is important to involve your son in the decision, it is a big change. From a different point of view, I was also tested around that age for the gifted program. I feel your son's pain because I did not want any part of that gifted program, even though i was bored in my classes. I didn't know the kid's in those classes and didn't want to be taken away from my current group of friends.
So... I failed the tested intentionally (and repeatedly) to avoid being moved into the program. I told my parents I did not want to take the tests anymore and did not want to be in the program, but they did not hear me. So i just kept failing them. Eventually they gave up.

The point is, just listen to your son. This might be a great program for him and he may really need the extra push - but just make sure he is agrees with the decision and doesn't see it as a bad thing. I agree with the other poster that there are other ways to enhance his education if this way does not work out.

Hope that is helpful!

I had the same situation with my son. He was tested and accepted, but I turned it down. I decided I didn't want to change schools and I did not want him segregated from the rest of the kids. Don't feel bad either way you go. It is your decision and you should do what you feel is best and you are comfortable with.

Gifted prograsms are nice but I don't agree with many of them. I think it's an easy out for the teacher. They don't have to work as hard to keep them interested. They are just passing them on. My son the oldest was smart enough for gifted programs but needed the push that they kids who are middle of the row tend to get. I had him kept in the main stream classes. It worked for him but may not your child. Some children who are gifted but not followed closely enough tend to be behavior problems as was my youngest.

We're in a similiar situation but I don't know if how helpful it is. :-) Our son is in 1st grade and went through the testing to enter the G&T program (it starts in 2nd grade here). The testing was a few months ago and we weren't sure if we should send him or not. But we agreed to the testing so even if we decide not to, we know his strengths (he's 2-4 grade levels ahead in everything but writing). So now, last week, we get the letter saying he was accepted and now it's up to us to decide if we want to send him or not -- by mid-May. It's the same school building so he'll still see his friends. Honestly, we have no idea yet what we'll do. We're going to the parent orientation next week to get more info and I set up a conference at the school with a normal 2nd grade teacher, the G&T teacher, the school counselor and his current 1st grade teacher. We'll get everyone's input next week and then make the decision. My son will also get to spend half a day in the G&T classroom this week so he can see what kind of things they do.

Our son knows about it. We told him that we'll take his thoughts into consideration but mom and dad make the final decision. He's so young he can't possibly make that big of a decision... one day he's all excited and the next he's adament about not doing it.

All I can say is to get as much info as you can. Talk with teachers, the school counselor and your son about it. I think having your son check out the program in person is a great idea, too.

You must be so proud! Though, it's a shame your husband couldn't wait to say anything until the two of you had a game plan.

If I were in your position, I wouldn't say anything else about it to your son until you find out whether he's been accepted or not and you and your husband discuss how to handle it. Then, the TWO of you have a talk with him. If he's not that into the program I wouldn't force it on him. I don't think not going through the "gifted" program will have lifelong consequences ;-) You'll just need to be on the lookout for any signs that he's not being challenged enough in his classes and make sure you find a way to handle that.

Good Luck!

I can tell you from personal experience, if there had been gifted programs available in my school (way back when), I would have thrived so much more than I did. I was SO BORED in school because I already knew everything they were teaching, or learned it the first time and didn't need as much repetition.

I can also tell you, your child's attitude toward change can be greatly affected by your approach to the change and your own attitude. I inadvertently caused my daughter to be afraid of something just by the way I acted about it. If you talk up the new school and program - finding lots of pro's about it, and make it a positive thing that YOU are looking forward to, it could be a more pleasant move for him.

My son has been in a gifted program for two years now and my daughter is being tested for the next school year. I can't say enough good things about it. My son was bored even in Pre-K so finally in 2nd grade he was challenged. I still think it is not hard enough for him and he is one of the youngest in his class(I put him in early because he missed the cutoff date by just 18 days). My son had to go to a different school entirely but it has been worth it. He has made friends and he seems happy and doesn't want to go back to his old school. It is an all inclusive program and there is not much homework, they do most of it in class. I would be thrilled if my daughter gets in because this school is so much better than the one she is attending now. It can't hurt to have your son tested. Remember, you are the parent, you know best but don't let YOUR fears stop HIM and what is best for him. Kids adapt much easier than adults do!

L. Etta, mother to an 8 year old boy and a 6 year old girl

If my child said he didn't want to do it, I absolutely would not even think about it. He's going into 5th grade, so very soon he'll have the options of signing up for excelled classes. If he were in 1st or something, then it may be different, but I don't think it's up to you if you pull him away from his friends and into a different school, I think that decision should be left to him. My daughter was also asked to participate in testing for a gifted program. She was in kindergarten. It was the same type scenario, they go to a completely different school. I researched it and found that they have to be retested every year and if they don't pass, they actually get released from the program and go back to their regular home school. In my opinion, that is waaaaay too cut throat for kids and way to much pressure for the child and for the parent. Supposedly, there are parents who have their child tutored in order for them to stay in the program. I opted to not have her even tested, and truly believe that in these early years, we should let our kids be kids. My daughter is at the top of her class, and she loves that. She feels very special, and I don't think it would've been right to take that away from her and have her become average by placing her with a classroom full of other gifted children. Schools do very well with placing your child in specialized groups that cater to their academic level anyway.

Hi Stacey,

We faced this same issue several years ago when our son was invited into the gifted program for his 3rd grade yr. This meant switching schools just when he was developing a core group of friends. We struggled with the decision, but ultimately decided to send him into the program because we felt it would be best for him. He was sort of "skating through" things in a normal class, and we knew that he would have gotten bored eventually, which could have led to negative behavior. He is currently in his second yr in the program, has made new friends while keeping in touch with the old ones, and has been challenged academically the way he needs to be. You might talk to some parents whose children are currently in the program, and ask them about their experiences. In the end, you need to do what is best for your son! Good luck!