Gifted child.....now What??

I had 5 kids ages 3-7 when my oldest 3 started "slipping through the cracks" because of various degrees of giftedness and learning differences. We tried to work with the schools - it was a nightmare. We eventually found a private school that was able to help, but sacrificed everything for it. If I had to do it again, knowing now what I didn't know then, I would home school and provide church and sports activities for the kids through the schools as socialization. I have found that the socialization kids get at school isn't worth the price. My kids suffered more from being the schools than they benefited.... These are hard decisions with far-reaching consequences. Any parent smart enough to produce a gifted child, is smart enough to nurture them through their education. Have faith in your abilities and your role as parent to these fantastic people and don't be afraid to step out on a limb and give them what they need to develop. Take a really realistic look at the educational opportunities in your area and then you'll know what is best. Good luck!

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Hi Angela,

Where do you live? There ARE home school groups out there that operate along the lines of what you are thinking. (Homeschooled does NOT equal Homebound!) I don't know of any that meet in offices, but they meet at homes and go on field trips together. Also, if you live in or near a metro area, a lot of the YMCAs will offer classes (usually Phys Ed stuff) for home schooled kids during the day.

Put an ad in your paper or on Craigslist, scour the internet--you'll be surprised what you find.

You might also want to check into your local Mensa group. It sounds like your son would qualify, and there will be other kids there who are gifted like him. You will also get the chance to chat with other parents of gifteds. And, in my local Mensa group, there are a lot of parents who homeschool. Your public school will not do your son justice!

Good luck, and remember to have fun this. What a blessing.

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Maybe check out a Montessori school.

The Montessori method is characterized by an emphasis on self-directed activity on the part of the child and clinical observation on the part of the teacher (often called a "director", "directress", or "guide"). It stresses the importance of adapting the child's learning environment to his or her developmental level, and of the role of physical activity in absorbing academic concepts and practical skills.

Montessori is a highly hands-on approach to learning. It encourages children to develop their observation skills by doing many types of activities. These activities include use of the five senses, kinetic movement, spatial refinement, small and large motor skill coordination, and concrete knowledge that leads to later abstraction.

“Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world” Maria Montessori

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I'm kinda in the same boat my daughter is in first grade and her teacher thinks she's a brat basically didn't say it like that but I know that's what she's thinking. It took another teacher my daughter's Science specialist teacher to see my daughter's potential. There are gifted programs at school but it's not that helpful I have no idea what to do either.

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you might check into after school programs that challenge but in a fun way..such as an art class or music lessons.we had the same problem with our daughter when she was in second grade then i found her after school program and now she is a beautiful well adjusted 13 year old

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what city are you in? minneapolis, st. paul, many burbs have open schools. you could get him in a language school or somethihg?

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Talk to the principal at your childs school to see what they can offer first. Then, check nearby school districts. We have open enrollment here in MN and school districts everywhere are different.
I'm in St. Louis Park and we have the International Bacclaureate program that allows kids to work at their own pace with in their own grade - keeping them with kids of their own age and emotional level. We also have a Spanish Immersion school, which is where my son is. He is a very bright Kindergartner and that put us in the same situation as you. This has worked well for us (so far) because he would be bored with the tradtional kindergarten grade work, but he is challenged by the learning of a new language.
Good luck!

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My 13 yo is a genius. Look around at school districts to see which has the best gifted program and try to open enroll him in that. They vary alot. The best gifted programs will not include lots of extra work but instead will expose your child to new material. Kids with IQ's about 130 do not need lots repetition to master material, they only need to be exposure to it.

When we lived in PA the school district there actually provided an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for gifted as well as special ed students. See also if a school district id's gifted children and groups them so they can actually study ahead. The PA school had 2 dozens kids id in the elementary school and they all worked at least a year of head of other kids their age. This allowed the bright kids to be challenge but remain with kids that are emotionally at the same level.

You will have to be an advocate for your child. No one will go out of their way to spend more on your kid. If you are unable to open enroll your kid in a better school district than search on line for gifted kid games and activities so he can be stimulated at home. If you can afford it see if his teacher would be open to implementing these activities in her curriculum. My son had one teacher that had a mensa type problem on the board every day that any kid could earn candy, school dollars or extra credit for answering. Good luck. I'm also a sahm with 4 kids ...boy 18, girl 17, boy 13, and girl 7. My 13 yo is the only one that is gifted. It can be demoralizing to the other kids that have to work hard to earn their grades so be sure and try and find something that makes each of your boys feel special.

M.

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I am having the exact same issue with my first grade boy. He also tests well into the top 1%.

We are most likely going to homeschool next year, and once you dig in you find there are a lot of resources and activities available. Someone else mentioned MCGT - that is a great resource and also has a homeschooling chapter. http://www.mcgt.net. People I have talked to have said they often have TOO much social stuff going on as opposed to too little. My son also loves other kids and is very social.

Our teacher does differentiate - harder spelling lists, books, etc. But it is not even touching the differention we need for our son. And we go to a "good" school that identifies 40% of these kids as gifted. He has literally not learned one thing in school this year. If you are looking at other school options or looking at staying at your current school, be prepared to be very in your face and ask a lot of questions. If you can, try to set up a meeting with the teacher your son has next year. Every child deserves to learn and be challenged and engaged at school. I think being highly gifted in a regular classroom can be especially difficult for active boys. There is 1 girl in my son's class who is also well ahead of grade level, but the teacher can really count on her to engage herself for an hour or 2 a day.

We have math and appropriate reading for my son available all the time for him to work on as we have time, so at least he is learning a little. All of us are literally counting the days until first grade is over though! Good luck - I can really relate to how difficult this is!

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All I can say, having a gifted child with ADHD (we didn't learn about the ADHD until 4th grade...everyone kept saying she was gifted and bored)...keep the ADHD to the back of your mind. ADHD evaluations are difficult with gifted kids because they've already learned to compensate - but that doesn't meant that they're not struggling. The problem is learning what's struggling, what's boredom, what's testing, and what's just personality...

Unfortunately we didn't get a whole lot of help from the school in elementary school. They didn't want to help unless she passed the CogATs, but her (as yet undiagnosed and untreated ADHD) was limiting her ability to take that test, yet every teacher that met her and worked with her said that without a doubt she was gifted. In St. Paul, she was in gifted programming in 1st grade, but they didn't have teacher recommended options in the Lakeville school district at the elementary level.

Enter in some astounding teachers who stepped in and made up for what the school in general lacked. They recognized where some of her weaknesses were (I'm also of the opinion ADHD also interfered in her ability to learn basic math facts - and yet she was well advanced in logic applications - one of the signs, they said, of her giftedness) and found pull out options for her like Continental Math. Also note that many school districts also have gifted programs available to students at the elementary level, but they often don't start until 2nd grade (some start at the 1st grade level).

She was diagnosed in the 4th grade (we thought she had anxieties - turned out it was ADHD - we struggled at first, but through research we did learn it was what she had). By 6th grade, she had hit whatever she needed to meet her needs and manage it. She was at the middle school, and I asked for her to be re-evaluated for gifted services. They were blown away and took her in immediately. Since then she has *not* been bored. There have been so many creative, challenging options for her at every turn in all areas of academics, arts, and physical activities.

What I recommend to you is be your child's advocate. If you choose to stay in the school system - stay in touch with teachers and outside of school look for enrichment activities. The Burnsville School District offers Gifted summer enrichment programs that are offered to students throughout the area if you're in I believe Lakeville, Prior Lake, Burnsville, Savage, Apple Valley area. You'll want to check with the Burnsville School District on that one.

Good luck!

Liz

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There actually are home schooling coops where families cooperatively teach together. I'm not sure where you live, but you could probably find one in your area by googling. Also, are there gifted services at your public school? As a public school teacher, I know that I tailored curriculum for many of my highly gifted kids so they wouldn't be bored in my regular classroom when they weren't in their gifted classes. Talk to your child's teacher, and maybe he/she can work with you on that. Good luck!

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Hi A.,
I understand what you are going through. I actually have a similiar problem with my 5 year old and he isn't old enough to be in Kindergarten yet. I am also homeschooling and am very pleased with this program. It is actually called the K12 program and it is through the Winnona Minnesota. I am connected to a teacher and a school and he gets to socialize with other kids virtually as well as once a month working with other kids in outings. I started last year when my 8 year old had trouble in his kindergarten setting 2 years ago. I was told the same thing about him having ADHD and we had him tested and guess what he doesn't have it either.

IF you log onto www.k12.com it will connect you to your states program where they have it. I have been very pleased because the public school is running and keeping track of the records.

Kathleen

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Hello,
My 9-year old son also tests at exceptionally high level and we have asked the same question. Now what? My sister has a son who is dyslexic. Both of us have found that we are the ones who need to advocate for our children. A very gifted child often needs as much advocacy as one who is struggling.

My son is in a St. Paul public school and they have challenged him fabulously. When he was in 1st grade, his teacher kept him reading and spelling at a challenging level but he was so bored in math that he started telling me he hated it (and this is a kid who loves math). I talked and talked to his teacher and she and the school came up with a solution. Today he is working several levels above his grade in math and reading (but is still with kids of his own age) and his teachers find ways to keep him engaged and interested while working on the things he's not as good at. I volunteer at his school and keep in touch with his teacher weekly.

You didn't say what school district you are in so I don't know what services are available to you, but the first thing I would suggest is to ask if the district offers Gifted and Talented services. If not, see if his teacher will work with you to create a plan to challenge him. Even with a plan, he may still be bored now and then and that's ok. It's the chronic boredom that needs to be addressed.

The St. Paul Public schools have an excellent Gifted and Talented office and they test all the children in the district. If you're in a district without specialized services, google 'gifted and talented' to get ideas and suggestions about what to ask and how to advocate and more help with the 'now what?' question. Good luck! M.

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A.,

We have the same issue with my daughter in first grade. Thankfully she has a teacher that is willing to give her more challenging assignments - different spelling list, lets her read chapter books, attend special groups, etc.

I also do things at home on the weekends and breaks to give her a challenge. I would caution you not to move your child too far ahead in the curriculum, but go in more depth in the curriculum. Moving ahead just causes more boredem at school, going in depth challenges their mind. Some subjects are easier than others. Let me give you some examples...

Social studies & history - find out what they are learning about and get books / videos from the library & off the web about the people, places and events. Find out the interesting details that the text books never seem to contain and do some family lessons at home.

Math - Here is a subject where it is hard not to jump ahead. So when my daughter started learning double digit addition at school, I showed her that there are several ways to add things on paper, how to do it with manipulatives and also how to do it in her head. You can also teach base 10 theory and even other bases. (They most likely won't do it in school until college, but I have seen it taught to children and they actually get it faster than the adults do because their mind isn't boxed into "base 10.")

Reading - I let my daughter have at it in this area, whatever suits her fancy. Right now it is Harry Potter.

Science - You can always do experiments at home that compliment what is happening at school. If you have science museums or children's museums in your area, go visit. Many even offer tours or classes.

Use the resources in your area. My daughter likes attending a young scientist class one evening a month. We take LOTS of field trips to different educational places and try to add an educational aspect to our vacations. Example: We are going to rural Mexico for my bro-in-law's wedding this summer, so now we are studying Incas and Aztecs at home and we are going to tour some ruins when we are in Mexico.

Some teachers allow their gifted students to do a "great brain" project where they research a topic of their own interest at home or in spare time at school, then when they have it put together they present it to the class. This teaches a lot of life skills and challenges the student without pushing them ahead in curriculum or creating unrealistic amounts of extra work for the teacher.

I considered homeschooling at one point, but realized my daughter is much better off with her peers in a classroom. My husband helped me realize that it wasn't in her best interest to isolate her or to only group her with those on her intellectual level. She will spend her whole adult life working with people are either intellectually superior to her or who may struggle in areas she doesn't. She needs to learn how to deal with both ends. I recognize that my daughter's teacher can't do it all, so I try to work with her, not compete against her.

Also, she has weaknesses like everyone else. Her handwriting is terrible and she is really absent minded about repetative or mundane tasks. So we can focus on improving those things as well. I hope you are able to find a good fit your sons, whatever it may be.

S.

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Angela..I just wanted to let you know that some of the local YMCA's do offer a Home School program. It is a time when all the kids that are home schooled gather and socalize. You may need a YMCA membership. It is a great program, I know the gal that runs it at the Southdale branch. Hope I helped and good luck!
T. E

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There are several K-8 Charter prep schools that could keep your son busy, depending on where you live. Go to the Minnesota Charter Schools web site - Google on it and you'll find it. They have a state-wide list of charter schools that you can narrow down to a search within the distance that you are willing to drive.

My daughter goes to Nova Classical Academy in St. Paul. Academically rigorous, it is also sweet and community focused. At 13 she is learning Latin, Logic, Chemistry... the teachers are amazing.

Check out the charter schools... there are lots of free options there.

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If you can find a Montessori school, I believe this would be your best option for him. When looking for a Montessori school, be sure it is AMI certified. This way you know you are getting the "true" montessori and not some place that is just using the name. White Bear Lake has an awesome Montessori school, but it is quite spendy. I know there is one in St. Paul too, but not sure of the name right now.

With all that being said, your going to have to meet with your principal, his teacher, and possibly the school psychologist (he/she can explain and translate the intelligence testing that you had done). Find out if your school has a gifted and talented teacher to rely on. Be persistent on finding a method and schedule that will work for your son. Schools sometimes need gentle reminders, such as that students with disabilites get special help and your son needs special help as well.

Good luck with all of this!

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I would start by researching your options. There is a book published by Free Spirit Publishing called "The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids." I assume there are also a variety of websites and other books that could help you decide the best options for your son. What about meeting with the school counselor or principal to discuss your options? My son was also bored in 1st grade, but the situation improved once he got to 2nd grade and was able to participate in enrichment and Gifted and Talented programs through school. It sounds like that may not be enough to meet your son's needs, but you could look into it for starters. At my son's school his teacher also gave him different math assignments and worksheets than the rest of the class. Is that another possibility? I am not familiar with home schooling, other than having neighbors who do it, but there must also be websites and books available to look into that as an option as well. My son is now in 5th grade and very social. He would be absolutely miserable being home schooled (we've even talked about it because of the neighbors and he's made it very clear that he would hate it), but if you think it would work for your son's personality and needs then that is another option. That's great you had him evaluated and can address his needs early on in his academic career.

I also should have added that for us home schooling isn't an option for academic reasons in addition to the social issues. My son is very talented in math and that is my weak spot. There is no way I personally could meet his needs in math.

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If you are in the Apple Valley area, I'd suggest looking into Paideia Academy. It is located in the old movie theater near the police station. I have a 1st grader and kindergartener there. It is a public charter school, so no tuition althought they do require 50 hours of school volunteer time. The reason I am suggesting looking into Paideia is the small classroom size (20-22 kids) with only 2 classes of each grade. The entire K-8 school has only 320 students. With the small student/teacher ratio, they focus on the educational needs of the child AS AN INDIVIDUAL. Absolutely wonderful for a child with special needs. If a child is preforming above their grade level in a specific subject, then they will MOVE the child into a appropriate class. For example, the little boy I carpool with is extremely smart in math. So, the teachers/director tested his math skills and saw that he really needed to be in a more challenging 2nd grade math class instead of the 1st grade math class. So, now he attends 2nd grade math while the rest of the day is in the 1st grade classroom, where his social skills lay.

The only drawback is they have already had their enrollment for the 2008-2009. But you can get on the wait list.

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While it's definitely important to challenge your child so that he is not bored silly, I think it's also important to teach your child to function in the real world. I taught high school for 8 years before staying home after the birth of my second, and the "snob factor" always amazed me--my honors kids pretty much refused to go to the "dumb" classes, not realizing those would be the people they'd be working with in post-high school jobs, attending college with and striving to get along with in the real world. Besides, a lot of the "not-gifted" kids aren't "not-gifted"; they simply come into their own later. I was a public school teacher, so obviously I believe in the public schools, and while you definitely will need to advocate for your child to ensure that the school is challenging him, be sure to give him time to be with the regular kids, too--it's very good for him to see himself as "average" (and accept that average is good enough in some things!) in life. Accepting less than the 99th percentile is something I see a lot of bright kids struggle with--and it can really defeat them when they run up against a wall. Good luck!