24 answers

Gift for Visiting a Newly Pregnant Relative

I will be visiting my only nephew and wife who are expecting their first child. They have had a couple of miscarriages and they are currently in their 12th week with their latest. They also just adopted a new puppy. My husband and I are are going to visit them for a few days and I want to give them a gift. I would like to get something for my niece and maybe for the baby, but I am afraid if she miscarries again that might not be appropriate. I know it is still the critical time for her. We live many miles away and I do not see them often so I am not close enough to know what might be appropriate. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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So What Happened?™

Thank you all for all of you responses. This was a first for me and I am so appreciative of all of you responses for help!

I decided to bring a bunch of gifts for the dog and we did some girly stuff too once we arrived and had many talks about the upcoming baby. My sister, her mother in law, sent her a pajama gram for a nursing mother with a matching baby onesy and my niece was so exited. So I think i could have brought a little something for the baby and that would have been all right. She was very excited for the puppy gifts though and that was good too. I think further down the road I may send one of those books mentioned in one of the post. Thanks again for all your help.

Featured Answers

Are they having a baby shower, maybe you can buy a gift then? Also, people often give a baby gift when they visit the baby for the 1st time (either in the hospital or at the home after baby comes home from the hospital). Maybe you can wait until you visit with the baby for the first time. I always bring a gift when visiting a baby for the 1st time but never when the women is only 12 weeks pregnant. Maybe just a nice card would be appropriate at this time congratulating her on her pregnancy.

K.,
That is so thoughtful, but I agree with most of the previous posters to hold off on a gift for the baby. My friend recently suffered her 3rd miscarriage. She was the farthest along with the 3rd one and had gone on a huge shopping spree. I was pregnant at the same time, and she sent me everything she bought. She couldn't stand to look at it.
A gift for mom is an excellent idea.

I would get something nice for the pregnant mom eg. gift voucher for massage or facial, nice bath oils, a fragrant plant, soft socks etc.

More Answers

I probably would wait to get something, specifically, for the baby. Maybe get her something to pamper herself (massage, facial, manicure or pedicure... at a location in her area) or a gift certificate for a restaurant in their area, for the both of them, would be very thoughtful! When she has her baby shower (or the good AUNT...sorry GRAND AUNT... that you will become, can always offer to throw them a baby shower???? I've done that a couple times!) you can bestow that baby with all kinds of fun stuff! If you wanted to get something that would be a nice gesture for the baby, a (non-baby-specific) picture frame or photo album is a nice gesture.

It's a very thoughtful gesture to get something. Have a nice time together.

1 mom found this helpful

I had a couple of miscarriages and a few gifts that I got while pregnant that I loved were books. I have one called God Gave Us You and another called Someday. Both are "children's" books. I love them both!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi K.!

I think that is sweet that you want to give something to her. Knowing her history I agree that it might be difficult- not really inappropriate though to buy something for the baby just incase it happens again. I would probably just wait until the baby shower for baby gifts!

BUT... what pregnant woman does not want to be pampered! Pedicures, facials, massages, some good books, bon bons, relaxation cds and candles etc. I SOOOOOOOOO wish someone would have done that for me!

Maybe also bring some chew toys for the puppy since he is the newest addition... maybe even some cute puppy clothes! lol

Have a safe and warm trip! Many blessings to you and yours!

1 mom found this helpful

Are they having a baby shower, maybe you can buy a gift then? Also, people often give a baby gift when they visit the baby for the 1st time (either in the hospital or at the home after baby comes home from the hospital). Maybe you can wait until you visit with the baby for the first time. I always bring a gift when visiting a baby for the 1st time but never when the women is only 12 weeks pregnant. Maybe just a nice card would be appropriate at this time congratulating her on her pregnancy.

Something for mom and puppy would be good, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents about a baby gift. I don't think it's inappropriate. If a miscarriage should happen again, heaven forbid, it would be hard regardless of whether or not she has some baby things to put away. I think a baby gift is sorta like positive thinking...just my thoughts.

Hopefully everyone will be just fine!

I agree with everyone that you should NOT bring a baby present. Even with someone who does not have a history of miscarriages, you usually do not give presents until almost the end of the pregnancy. I like the idea of giving them a gift certificate to a local restaurant so they both can enjoy your gift. Or how about homemade cookies...it's a small gesture but shows that you put the time into thinking about them. Good luck!

Definitely bring the puppy a toy! A pampering treat for mom sounds nice too.

I think you SHOULD bring a gift if you want to. All pregnancies deserve to be celebrated.

But I do like the idea of a gift that is for pampering your niece. I'm sure she is very stressed about this pregnancy and has been stressed up to this point.

I would get a fun gift for the dog and something pampering for the mom to be - gift certificate for services, a special lotion, a beautiful orchid plant. Definitely stay away from baby things for now. Hopefully this pregnancy will go well and you can show your excitement for the baby when she feels confident that things are going well. Getting through the first trimester is a milestone -- most miscarriages happen in those first 8-12 weeks, so hopefully this is a great sign.

It's not very personable, but a gift card to some place like Old Navy to purchase maternity clothes is another idea.

Yes - don't get anything specifically for the baby. Even if she didn't have a history of miscarriages, there is plenty of time later to bring baby gifts. A pregnant woman deserves to be fussed over. When I was pregnant I wanted to be pampered. The others have made good suggestions along these lines: spa certificates, cozy blankets, body pillow... also you could do a little gift bag. Just go to the drugstore and pick out some nail polish, bubble bath, candy bar, pedicure kit....buy some flowers throw it all in a gift bag and you're set.

For my first I received a few bibs or burp cloths which were so nice. I would suggest though, that you hold off on a gift for the baby until she is further along. Why not a gift for the new dog? A dog is so much like a baby. I am sure your nephew and his wife would appreciate that. Good luck.

I would get something nice for the pregnant mom eg. gift voucher for massage or facial, nice bath oils, a fragrant plant, soft socks etc.

I haven't read any mamasource for a while and yours is the first one I read today. I had a miscarraige on Christmas day in 2003. It was very sad. For an expectant mother, you fall in love the day you know you're expecting. I had hopes and dreams for this child. After miscarrying, I became pregnant again and had my third child in Jan of 2005. NOTHING replaces the hopes for that child that I lost. Not my older kids or my youngest. I still cry and miss that baby I never knew. What is difficult is that people often want to ignore or avoid talking about the lost baby. Even though no one meets these little ones, the mother and even the father, have already put hopes and dreams into the baby. I think it is ok to give any gift you would give to a baby on the way. If it were me I would cherish that gift if I was able to hold my baby in my arms, but I would cherish it just as much as something concrete - something that made me feel like the baby was real to someone else other than me. Many women give names to their miscarried children. I did. He is real to me - even though no one else ever acknowledges him.

It is very thoughtful of you to want to bring a gift, but I would suggest focusing on something that is just for her (the baby gifts can come later). Maybe a book about pregnancy (a really fun one is "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" that she might enjoy) or a gift certificate for a massage or pedicure would give the mom-to-be some much needed pampering. Have a wonderful visit!

K., I always think nice picture frames are a good gift because it is personal and can be used for any photo that the family wants to put in it. If she has had many miscarriages and is only 12 weeks along I don't think I would specifically address the issue of a new baby. They could even use the frame for a photo of their new puppy. A.

How about a body length pillow (which are a necessity when pregnant, but also nice after) and a nice fleece blanket or afghan? If her pregnancy goes on, it will be helpful as a "nap kit" and then you can give a baby gift once things are more settled. Good luck to all!

K.,
That is so thoughtful, but I agree with most of the previous posters to hold off on a gift for the baby. My friend recently suffered her 3rd miscarriage. She was the farthest along with the 3rd one and had gone on a huge shopping spree. I was pregnant at the same time, and she sent me everything she bought. She couldn't stand to look at it.
A gift for mom is an excellent idea.

I would def get something for her and not the baby at this moment, save that for the baby shower. Maybe while you are there you and her go do something like a spa day or something. And then get a card for your nephew and his wife with a nice gift card inside like one of those visa gift cards. That way they can use it for whatever they want. Good Luck and have a nice visit with them.

Bring a little something to show appreciation for staying with them but not for the baby. You could mail them a gift after she delivers and everything is alright. I've had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn. Believe me, she won't want to see things that hurt her more, everything will upset her anyway.

I like the idea of bringing the puppy a gift. How about taking her out to lunch and a day just hanging out. For sure take them both out while you are visiting them. That will take some of the work out of your visit.

Take care
J.

Maybe you can just bring your niece something for herself and hold off on the baby gift right now. When you know she's at a "safe" point in her pregnancy, you can send her a baby gift in the mail. I know it's not the same as seeing her face when she sees those sweet, small baby outfits/toys, but she will be just as thrilled and happy when she receives a surprise in the mail.

I would gift her a spa treatment gift card.
She should LOVE it!
OR go with her while you are there visiting.

K.,

I would just suggest that you get something your niece will enjoy (maternity store gift card, spa gift card, something she can use at home to pamper herself, etc.). That seems much safer to me than getting something for the baby, especially since she's still early in her pregnancy (though past the 1st trimester).

Best,
R.

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