Gift for Neighbor Graduating from High School

A gift is always appreciated. But you should give a gift because you want to and not because you have to, giving a gift that does not come from the heart is not a gift. You should also separate her success in school and her services as a baby sitter; they have nothing to do with each other. The fact that she was a lousy baby sitter has nothing to do with the fact that she is graduating, a graduation present regardless of whether it’s a card or a present should be given to her a measure of her high school accomplishments and not as a measure of what she’s done for you personally. Just don’t feel obligated to give her a gift because your friends with her parents, but do remember that as a parent you’ll one day be celebrating your childs accomplishments and you’ll want friends and family to celebrate right along with you regardless of what your child did or didn’t do for them.

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If you don't intend to go to the ceremony, you should let the parents know and return the tickets. Tickets to grad ceremonies are limited and if you received them you should feel honored that you were at the top of their list.

I agree that her babysitting has nothing to do with this milestone of graduating. Bite the bullet and get her a card with a gift card to Starbucks or Target ($25-$35). It will come in handy and suffice as a gift.

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Why the heck do you have to give her a gift? My daughter is amazing and everyone who meets her adores her but I certainly don't expect anyone to give her a gift when she graduates next year, and neither she nor I will care at all when they don't. Her graduation isn't THEIR business.

Graduating high school is its own reward.

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Flowers might be a nice option, too, if you feel you need to get her something. I don't think her performance as a baby sitter should weigh at all on your decision. The fact that you paid her generously for services rendered has nothing to do with her graduating. If it was any other friends' child graduation, what would you give? When I graduated from high school, my neighbors for whom I had babysat gave me a nice card- and I didn't feel cheated or anything. Hope this helps you make your decision!

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JMO but I think a card would be enough. If you still think you need to get her a gift, how about something like a photo album or photo frames? You can get nice ones at places like Ross or Marshalls without spending a lot of $

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Hello M.,
I agree with all Nicole is saying. I think she has the right idea and that is what I would do in your shoes. Regardless of the babysitting job she did according to you, she is someone that will be a part of your childrens lives. I still remember my neighborhood babysitter when I was 5. Times are hard for a lot of people right now so I understand the financial part of it. However, if you live near her/parents and you said you are friends with her parents you will be around them a long time so I feel you should make the effort as they did inviting you to the ceremony. They think of you as "family" if they made you a part of this event. This is important to them. They childr is finishing HS. Put yourself in their shoes. It also sets an example for your children to do the right thing.

don't make more out of it then needed. Card and a gift card of $25. Amex, Target even starbucks. You could even have your children do an art project for her. I still have some of the homemade gifts from the children I was a nanny for 20 years ago.

SAHM, 40 with 2 fun loving funny little boys. 3.5yrs & 11 months. Started walking at 7.5 months. I have my hands full.

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You should never feel obligated to give a gift for an event that you don't attend. If you are good friends with her parents, then you might want to give a small gift (maybe a Starbucks gift card or something). I'm sure they felt obligated to invite you since she babysat for you sometimes - if you aren't close to them, send a card and leave it at that.

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I think a nice card from you AND homemade cards from your girls will really mean a lot. If you want to get her a gift card, I would recommend, Jamba Juice, Target or Starbucks.

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Give her a card congratulating her-- a gift is not needed.

M.

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I think a card is fine but if you decide you want to give a little something, a Starbucks gift card for a small amount will get used probably in her first week in college. You could even say you're enclosing a little something to get you started on your college life (believe me, college kids definitely go to Starbucks). I have on that just finished college and one about to start.

J. F.

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In my opinion, graduation deserves a gift! Also, if you're not going to the ceremony, perhaps you should return the ticket. Most times, each graduate only gets so many tickets and families sometimes have to "draw straws" to see who gets to go so if you're not going to use the ticket, maybe you should give it back so it can be given to someone who will attend. a gift card would be a great gift especially if she's going off to college.

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Since you are friends with the parents, it would be thoughtful to do something for this event in their family. Get a card and some nice candy. Maybe one or two truffles in a cute box with a bow won't cost much. Good luck. T.

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Hi M.,

This is a tough one, I can see why you're struggling.

Let's look at a few facts to help you: Even though she wasn't a good babysitter, that has nothing to do with her graduating, so you cannot base your decision just on that.

Facts:
1) She's been conveniently babysitting for you for years
2) They invited YOU to the Ceremony, when they only allow each family a certain amount of tickets, they picked YOU!
3) It's polite to give her something

OK, they obviously believe that there is more to the relationship, than there is from your end. That's ok.... you dont have to "let them down" :O)

I would get her a beautiful card with a $25.00 Target gift card inside. The card is the most important thing and it will make her feel "special". The gift card is a great option because she can buy anything she wants. My older kids LOVED Target gift cards when they went away to school :o)

Anyway, you can even "dress up" the gift card to be wrapped in a little purse or something.

The more "pretty" the card/gift, the more "special" she will feel. You want to make her feel how much you've appreciated her all these years.

I hope that helps you.....

~N. :O)

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While not necessary, a small gift is a nice gesture. An address book, frame, as was suggested, or a small amount of cash for pizza when she's living in the dorms. I recall being able to order pizza because I had a few dollars in my pocket was nice once in a while.

Obbiously, not required, but a nice gesture.

That's my opinion,
Stephanie

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Magdalena couldn't have said it better! Right on!

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That's a though one. It sounds like you are pretty close to the family, and want to maybe do a little some to show that you do care. Some times it's best to take the high road with issues like this, knowing you weren't happy with her babysitting services but you do have a close relationship with the family. If you're on the fence and do want to get a little something but nothing to costly. A gift card to Target or Bed Bath and Beyond so she can get something for her dorm.

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I don't see what babysitting skills have to do with a graduation gift. You say you are friends with the parents. If that is the case, then you would buy her the same gift that you would buy any friend's child who was graduating.

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Absolutely, a card is enough!

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If you weren't happy with her baby sitting you shouldn't have hired her again or paid her "generously". Did you even discuss your concerns with her, paying her "generously" without mentioning your concerns is giving her the message that you are happy with her services/skills. This is a celebration for their family & child and should be acknowledged as so. T.

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If the graduate is going away to school (living on campus) I've always given a small token gift for graduation and then sent a letter and $20-$50 in February saying this is the "rest of their gift". I've ALWAYS gotten an amazing thank you detailing how tight money is and how much they appreciated the letter and the small gift of cash so much more than anything they received at their graduation. A younger cousin recently sent me an email telling me that she's started the tradition herself and it's given her "warm fuzzies" to know she's helping someone like I helped her 10-15 years ago. (her letter so many years ago told me how she'd gone to the ATM and was denied a withdrawal and she went back to her room and found my letter and money).

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If you don't want to give a gift and just a card, then just give a card. If you won't be attending the graduation or party after, a card is fine. If you do feel like you want to give her something, something practical yet inexpensive might be nice. A Safeway or gas gift card always come in handy. You could get her a book or a shower caddy with flip flops, a loofa, etc. These are all things that you could spend $25 or less on.

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Hello M.: This is one of those times you get to suck it up and be the grownup in the situation. Child care and Graduation have nothing to do with one another Being a High School graduate is a big thing and if you are not going to the party then a card would still be the right thing to do. If you are going to the party a simple gift is always proper. With our children people from our neighborhood have done many things: Supplies for school, gift cards for school needs, pay for part of a book, a chevron gas card of 20 dollars, and a pen set. even a cany lei that they made with a small card on it so they knew who it came from. We have even had someone from their computer make up a simple book of pictures my child was in from over the years. That is still a treasured gift. NanaG

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The best and most well recieved gift I have ever given was the Dr. Sueuss book (oh, the places you'll go) It is about $15 and remembered and read throughout their education and life.

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Give her a gift, and thank her for taking the best care she could of your children. She will appreciate the experience to look back on when she has her own children.

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A gift is a gift, and not something that should be given for "payment" or "approval." The gift is for her parents and a celebration of their daughter and family. You can of course, do whatever you want (and suffer the stigma as you choose), but in my family not sending at least $50 (or 25 if the person is known to not have much $) would be a huge insult to the entire family and people would think you are cheap. It's not an individualized thing, its honoring the family without expecting something in return. I personally always give $100- that's the standard for a graduation unless you really are only acquaintances in which case $25-50, but usually acquaintances don't get invites. . . .
Your thoughts about her babysitting ability should not factor into how you honor their family. Besides if you didn't like her babysitting why on earth would you leave your children with her again??? Not sure how much childcare skill you can expect from a young girl anyways, and it must not have been too bad if you hired her again for 2 years. . .

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I would write a card and if you feel compelled - make a charitable donation in her name - kiva.org or a donation to her college choice.

Good luck.

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Hi!
I just read a great blog about grad gifts. A book called "Doing Hard Things" written by twin brothers. I have read part of it and it is awesome! Teens telling others that we have things to do or down the road life will be harder. (It is Christian). A nice journal is nice too. Maybe wrap it with old maps--to give her 'direction'.

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Hi M.,

Yes, you should get her a gift. I understand and would likely feel the same way if you have been unsatisfied with her babysitting but that is comparing apples to oranges. She is the daughter of your friends and tickets to a graduation ceremony are usually scarce so that invite was an honor, most likely. If it were me, I would give her a fifty dollar check and a nice card and don't let it bother you - it's just not worth the energy and your generousity will come back to you when you least expect it.

Take care,
N.

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Hi M., I would give a gift. I don't think her babysitting has anything to do with It doesn't have to be big gift. I would say a picture frame, scrapbooking items, or maybe something for her room like a nice candle. I am going through the samething. My sister's neighbor invited us to a grad party and a bday party. Our money is really tight right now and I am going to give her something small I don't know her that well. Good Luck

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When gift giving, give from the heart. It is more a reflection of who you are and not who you are giving to. Often what goes around comes around...if not from the same source, from somewhere else. I have a graduating high school senior too. She doesn't expect anything from anyone. Although, she has been flooded with unexpected well wishes and gifts. A nice card with thoughtful sentiment is great. Maybe have something come from the kids who may know her best. It will teach them something to look forward to and about this milestone in the life of someone they know. Whatever it is doesn't have to cost much. A tolken gift is often less expensive than cash. Good luck!

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Hi M.-
I feel the same way sometimes when it comes to giving gifts. But the true gift is in the attitude of the heart. A card is a nice gesture. To make it worthy of you, I suggest doing something more. Perhaps a $10 gift card to a book store or a fun little bracelet ($10 or so) from WalMart, Target, or the Khol's sale section. Sometimes I will hit up the dollar section at Michaels and find a cute little box and then get one of my favorite lip glosses and put it in there. Total cost is around $10 with card. Cards can also be found in the dollar section.
I believe you are trying to make a good decision, and my first thought is whether or not she deserves it. HOwever, I have been blessed plenty in my life when I did not deserve it and I think it has made all the difference. Gifts should not ever be expected, but the gesture shows more about you than the person you are giving to. Don't think you always have to tip well or pay more than the norm. It's how you give that's important.
On another note, they may feel that you are part of the family, being so close to her parents.
I would say a card and a small token are perfectly appropriate and nothing more is necessary. But ignoring her altogether could be bad.
I hope this helps
Good luck

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I think that no matter what you thought of her as a babysitter you did nothing at the time. A small token to her advancing to higher education is appropriate because you are adults and need to show her parents that you think it is awesome that their child made it to the next level in life. That kind of support is always a good thing to give and to receive. Remember your child is not yet at that level and your support now means your childs support in the future. yeeeee haaaaa for the graduate. not all children get to that level nowadays. good luck all.

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Nicole P. said it best. You will likely not offend the neighbors by not giving anything, but I don't think you will ever rest easy about it yourself if you don't. Take the high road and get her something.

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I don't know what's expected, but I don't think you should give gifts reluctantly. Gifts shouldn't be obligatory, IMO. I understand wanting to respect ettiquette but in this case I would think a card should be sufficient, with sincere wishes for a bright future.

-K.

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