Gift Etiquette at School

My 3 year old (and some of the kids in my Sunday School class-- they're middle schoolers) have had it drilled in their heads by EVERY CLASS THEY'VE EVER BEEN IN (my 3YO is in preschool for the first time this year) that if you bring something in, there had better be enough for everyone. Sharing isn't sharing if it's not with everyone in the class.
If you want to get something special for special friends in the class, give the gifts OUTSIDE of the classroom and away from everyone else.

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I think its OK to give classmates gifts at the class parties as long as every kid gets the same gift (pencil, erasers, candy, etc). If they want to give a gift to a special friend then it should be done outside of the classroom and they should try to be as 'private' as possible.

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Parents wouldn't complain because they have values, and making a scene on the spot would've been showing they have no principles.

But yeah I think it was inappropriate to hand out gifts where some were excluded. I can appreciate that this is the season of giving, but there are thoughts of right and wrong and visibly excluding some is tacky in the utmost.

If it's a planned thing then someone should've asked the teacher for a list of students, in case it's a matter of 'Oh I forgot that kid!'

If I was the teacher I would discourage it altogether and encourage a day of making cards to hand out,like at Valentines day. Maybe the manufacturers of valentines should consider it for Christmas!

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Hi C. - I think you're right to think this is strange behavour. I think it would really upset other kids' feelings to see some kids getting holiday gifts but not them. I've never seen another mom do this before (I've got three kids). I think you should mention this to the teacher and she should speak to this clueless mother. If the mom wanted to bring holiday gifts - which I think is a bit odd anyway - she should have brought every kid a small token. Happy holidays! - Alison

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Hi C.,

What has happened in the past with my children, is that if you tell the teacher, they will put in their comunications to the parents an note about this. It is not just gifts, but birthday party invitations, thank you notes, anything that makes other children feel left out. This is an early lesson that children can learn, and apparently some parents learn it at this point also.

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