Getting Toddler Prepared for Baby #2 - Richland,IN

Updated on December 22, 2008
A.D. asks from Richland, IN
14 answers

My husband and I are expecting baby #2 in about 8 weeks. I would like to get a book that we could read to our 2 yr old, that will explain to him (as much as can be explained to a 2 yr old) about the baby that is coming. We have tried to talk to him about what is going to happen when the baby is born and we point to my belly and say baby is in there, but he just doesnt seem to get it at all. I was wondering if anyone else has any suggestions for helping him to get ready for his new sibling to arrive. I still expect him to go through a period of adjustment once baby is here, I'm just trying to lay the ground work for a easier transition for him.

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A.H.

answers from Columbus on

My son loves the book "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole. It doesn't tell how the baby comes out of Mommy if that's what you're looking for, but it does give some expectations so he knew he couldn't start rough-housing with his baby sister right away. My daughter is almost 3 and my son is almost 5 and he still requests this book sometimes. I'm actually going to get the sister version too because we are expecting #3 in February.

Good luck with the transition and congratulations!

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R.N.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi A.,

We are expecting our second daughter any day now too! Congratulations! Some books that we have been reading with our 2 year old are:

"Welcome to Your World, Baby" by Brooke Shields

"Welcome, Little Baby" by Aliki (her favorite)

"We Have a Baby" by Cathryn Falwell

These have been very helpful in explaining to her that she will be a big sister and that Mommy and Daddy will still love her just as much. They also show how she can help with the new baby, what to expect, etc. I found them all at the library and they have been in rotation at our house for a while now! I hope this helps! Best of luck to you and your little ones!

R.

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M.T.

answers from Columbus on

Hi A.. Congrats on baby #2. We just had our second son 6 months ago and just before we had him, my SIL gave us a book called "What Baby Needs." Author is William Sears. My older son who is 3 soon to be 4 STILL reads this almost every night before he goes to bed. Even during the day if the baby is fussy, he will refer to the book as to why he is fussy. I have given this to all my expecting moms with other children since it was given to us! I also have the "I'm a Big Brother" book but it is not as popular as What baby needs! Good luck!!!

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K.K.

answers from Muncie on

My daughter will turn 3 in March, a few days before our 2nd baby is due. She loves the book God Gave Us You, by Lisa Tawn Bergren, about a polar bear family that has a new baby. It is a great and simple introduction to the idea of having a baby - waiting for it to come, seeing Mommy's tummy grow bigger as the baby gets bigger, etc. I have told my daughter a similar story about how we were so excited to know that we were going to have her. A friend just loaned us another book by Bergren, God Gave Us Two, about the same polar bear family getting the little one ready for the arrival of a sibling. She really likes it as well, and I think that having a book that she can look at and relate to helps to reinforce all that we've talked to her about the new baby that will soon arrive. (I've tried to focus on how special she is because she'll be the big sister, is such a good helper, can teach her baby brother new things, etc. I'm sure it will take some adjusting, but for now, she is excited!!) Good luck!

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N.N.

answers from Columbus on

Hi A., When I was prego with #2, our first was just about 2 as well. They are 25 mos. apart. We took her to the dr. with us to hear the baby's heart beat. We listened to her heart beat at home and to the babies heart beat at the drs. For some reason that hit home with her. One week, the dr. was out and we didn't get to see him, she cried and wanted to hear the "baby beep beep." We took her to the firehouse where my husband volunteers and used the doppler on the squad to listen, she was so happy. We read books, and had a baby doll for her to practice with. I showed her how to hold the baby, and we talked about being gentle and how to use nice touches with the baby. She was such a good big sister. When #3 came along, we took the older two shopping and let them pick out blankets and a couple of outfits for the baby. They still know which blankets they gave her. Little ones pick up the feelings of anxiousness and love even if they don't quite understand the biology of the baby in there. We always referred to the baby as "our baby," not just "my baby." Toddlers love babies, they point them out in stores and on tv. If you know anyone who will let you get an up close look at a baby that is helpful also. Let him "pet" the baby and see if you can get the baby to smile at him. Its all about the family, when you make it a family event, not just a mom and dad event, it will be so much easier. Congratulations and good luck!

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N.K.

answers from Toledo on

First of all good luck & congratulations!!!
Just keep talking to your son about it. He may not fully get it but he will understand a little bit. Also, exposure to other babies will definetely help. If possible try showing him how babies cry, sleep, etc. and then go on to say his baby brother/sister will do that too. Even if that means showing him age-appropriate movies. Also, show him the baby's crib, toys, clothes and so on. Basically just try to use anything that will make it more "real".
Just the fact that you are trying to talk with him about it is wonderful and while it may not seem like it now, it will help a lot!!
A little piece of advice for when the baby is born is to have a big brother present for him... a new toy, a new book, or even a big brother shirt. This is a special time for the whole family and I think it's imprtant to make sure older siblings feel proud of being the big kid.
Good Luck!

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K.Z.

answers from Canton on

A.,
Congrats and Good Luck. I just had baby #2 and also have a 2yo, however my 2yo is a girl so the whole baby doll thing won't work for you. However if I could offer some advice, the hospital absolutely freaked my 2yo out. If I had it to do over again I would have never had her come. I just think she was not use to seeing her mommy in that enviroment and she got nervous. On the other hand we went to the store and bought a stuffed animal for the baby together for Alyssa to give the new baby and it worked out great (I also got Alyssa a stuffed animal from the baby and she loved that). I have not been afraid to let Alyssa be apart of everything with the baby, she helps change diapers, feed her, she talks to her for hours. She is absolutely in love with her baby sister.

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H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My son was 21 months when our daughter was born. As a pre-empt, we got him a baby doll and talked about the baby in mommy's tummy. He wasn't very verbal at the time, but sometimes he would say baby and touch my belly. I would also ask him where's the baby, and he'd point to my belly. I didn't think he really had a clue. When my parents brought him to the hospital after she was born, he was very excited - more to see me it seemed than to see her, but he was very hyper! I spent some alone time with him before we brought her in, but from the moment he saw her, he never again pointed to my belly for the baby. If we'd ask him, he'd point to her. He didn't use the baby doll a whole lot before or after, but I think it helped with the concept. We got one of those that's about the size and weight of a newborn.

We also did the big brother T-shirt - most hospital gift shops have these. He loved wearing it.

Good luck, and enjoy the last days you have one on one with your little one. Things will never be the same.

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K.

answers from Lima on

Hi A., Our son was 2 yrs, 4 mos when our daughter was born this year. Two books he really liked were: My New Baby by Annie Kubler and The New Baby by Mercer Mayer. My New Baby doesn't have any words but has cute pictures. The New Baby does a nice job of explaining what babies can and can't do. Our son had a pretty easy time adjusting ... wanted someone else to hold the baby other than me for the first two weeks or so, but figured out pretty quick that she was part of the family and that we wanted him to like her and be nice to her. Now she is 9 months and they LOVE each other to death. It is a joy. Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Columbus on

I just had baby #2, but my daughter is 3, so some difference there. What finally made it real for her was when she was able to see my belly move and put her hand on my belly to feel him. We told her that she could sing to him because he could hear her and then when he is born she could sing to him again and he would recognize her voice. He actually did. We tried to focus on all of the fun stuff that she could teach her new baby brother and got her involved in getting his room ready and buying things for him. She came to the hospital for little bit to see mommy and her new baby brother and introduce herself to him. We didn't force her to do anything that she didn't want to do and let her do it at her own pace. It's worked pretty good so far and he is 5 weeks old.

J.

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J.R.

answers from Columbus on

I'm a Big Brother was the title of the book I bought my son (it was on the bargain rack at a book store, I've also seen it at TJMaxx). He seemed to get something was in there since I was enormous and he'd tell us it was a baby if we asked but I'm not sure he really understood until baby was home from the hospital for a while and here to stay. A few days after we got home he exchanged gifts with the baby- my mom took him shopping earlier in the day and he picke dout a small stuffed animal for his new sister and she got him a huge dumptruck. We played that up a lot and he still knows what they got each other. We didn't get him a doll as he's never been much for dolls or stuffed animals and he didn't seem to miss not having something to mother but I think that's more due to his personality than anything. We also phrased things carefully in the early weeks, telling him he got to do things instead of had to "You get to sleep in a big-boy bed when you're ready." or "You get to take a nap now." Sounds kinda silly but I think it helped.
Best of luck to you!

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

A.,
Have you told him he is going to be a big brother and will have to help Mommy with the new baby awhile ? Boy it worked for my nephew and he couldn't do enough to help get bottles ready and bring diapers etc.When folks came to see the new baby he would PROUDLY say I'm a big Brother and that's my baby sister.Has he been around other babies ? He needs to see how helpless they are and that they need so much attention.You might even get him a baby doll, just a cheap one and show him how much care and gentleness is needed taking care of one. My nephew had a baby doll for a couple of years before his sister was born and played with it all the time.He had a Quilt I made for it and would bundle it up and take it every where.He played with boy toys too but since him and my youngest sister were only a year apart and were best friends and play mates he wanted to immitate her play.He is now one of the best Dad's I have ever seen.Good luck, sorry I don't know of any books. And Congrats on your soon to be arrival.Children are our Future teach them well.
Debbie

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N.A.

answers from Cleveland on

When I was expecting baby number 2, I went out and bought my son big brother books. He was 2 1/2 when his brother was born. I dont think he really got it either. Then when he came to see us in the hospital I had a little gift from the baby to him. Hope that helps!

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S.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi A.! I'm going through the exact same thing...except my boy just turned 3. There are a great wealth of books out there to help out, and I use to work at a library, so I guarantee if you call the childrens librarian, they can give you a bunch of titles. A few that I have found helpful are the Arthur's New Baby book, there is one called "My Mommy has a House"...and a bunch that are usually just called "The New Baby". There are also a bunch of big brother titles. If you live near Akron, they can send books from any of the branches or main library to any branch close to you. Just call ahead. Good luck and feel free to e-mail me personally if you want more help finding stuff.

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