October 27, 2011,
K.C. asks from Texarkana, AR on October 26, 2011
Getting to My Breaking Point with This No Sleeping!!!
OK im getting so worn out and tired and i need answers but before you answer please do not tell me that i have done wrong with my sons sleeping patterns in the past I have done what works best for me but is just no longer working, I very much dislike negative people and honestly i am on here everyday and answer questions all the time and never once been negative ... Ok with that being said HELP ME lol
Ok this may be kinda long but my son is will be 15mths old on the 3rd of nov, he has always been a cosleeper baby or in the pack in play next to us or bassinet since birth.... I have always rocked him to sleep since day one and still do , and i have also never ignored him when he wakes at night it ( never let him CIO) what can i say i want a happy baby that knows mommy is there for him ( i know i know cut the cord already K. lol) alil past history my son is a kicker, mover, rolls over , stands up and crawls to the end of the bed all night every night in his sleep and has done this since he has been mobile. It drives me insane but after speaking to his de about it she said he would grow outta it well 6mths late he still hasnt.
Ok so about a month ago we started the crib thing and it worked great my son may have woke once a night but usually around 5am so i would put him in bed w us and he would zonk out again till 7 r 8.. Well this lasted 2 weeks. Well we out tubes put in about 2 to 3 weeks ago bc he has had so many infections and i swear i think he hears so much better that everything wakes him up. He wakes about 5 x a night now.
Out schedule is
730pm get in pj's, tv turned down, lights off
745 bottle in dads arms
800-830 sits quietly in dads arms and starts dozing
9pm out like a light and we move him to crib
11pm-midnight AWAKE whining which turns to crying so he gets in bed with us
2am rolling and trying to crawl over me in his sleep and when i move him back in middle of bed it wakes him up
3AM again kicking both feet in air so much that wakes himself up
430-5am wakes up sits up in bed and tries to put his binky in my mouth to wake me up finds this funny and laughs, i get him a half a bottle feed him and he falls back asleep
6am-7am rolls crawls, stands up in sleep until finally we give in and we all get up for breakfast.
This is a regular night for us recently and i just cant deal with it any more. I am currently 7 mths pregnant and i have enough kicking in my stomach from the unborn lol .
Now we have tried putting him back in his crib everytime he goes back to sleep but find it easlier and to keep him in bed w us because it prevents him from crying several times in the middle of the night. Im not saying i wouldnt try and let him CIO but i dont think hubby could deal he has to get his sleep or is a major grump. I am currently reading no cry sleep solution for toddlers but i just got it today and am only a hr into the book . O and also my baby gets one nap a day usually from about 12-230 and plays hard at babysitters everyday, he eats good all meals and usually has a full belly before bed,
SO WHY WONT HE SLEEP AND BE STILL????
O and one more thing to add he is currently teething actually has 3 coming in at once and i usually give him teething tablets or tyenol before bed, but even when he's not teething the sleep patterns are the same.
ANY help or stories from ya i would be so grateful.... and for the record i understand that I have formed this issues by co sleeping and by always being there for him when he crys . He was my first baby and believe me i have learned my lesson and this new baby will not be sleeping with us lol
thanks for everything ladies
B.P. answers from New York on October 26, 2011
I think he needs his own space. Yes, teething or illness messes up sleep patterns, but you also said this happens when he is not sick. He is still young for this but since you have a new baby coming, consider putting him in a full size bed in his room. You can stay with him while he falls asleep and then leave. If you need to, go to his room if he cries. Then leave again when he is asleep. It may not work, but worth a try. Does he have a lovie, something he can use to self-soothe?
1 mom found this helpful
L.A. answers from New York on October 26, 2011
We used Ferber, we did it b/f I returned to work. Baby was crying so much we felt we had nothing to loose and everything to gain. He's one, and he sleeps from 8:30-6:45 on weekdays and 8:30-7:30/8 on weekends. Our goodnight routine is I sing him up to two lullabies while rocking him in my arms. He mustn't like my singing because he usually squirms and makes his way to the crib. He gives me a great big smile while I cover him. I put on his mobile, shut the door. By the time I've had a cup of coffee, he's asleep and I prop his door open for circulation.
BTW, just because our baby sleeps, doesn't mean that he is still. We call him Mr. Migration because we find him all over his crib and in every which shape and position. He's been wriggly from the start, and continues to be that way.
Our ped suggested that we let him self soothe even if he's teething. If he wakes in the night, we wait 3-5 minutes before getting up to see to him. 9/10 times he manages to get back to sleep without our assistance.
Please act quickly with whatever sleep solution you are going to implement. You, your husband, your son, and the new baby will all suffer worse when all four of you aren't sleeping through.
Good luck to you.
6 moms found this helpful
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T.P. answers from Tuscaloosa on October 27, 2011
One of our jobs as parent, that's not in the baby manuals (LOL) is teaching them how to fall asleep and how to fall back to sleep when they wake up. So far, you haven't taught him that yet because you do it for him. That doesn't mean you have to let him "cry it out" but there are gentler ways to help him learn how to fall asleep. It may involve some crying, which is heart-breaking, but keep reminding yourself that you are teaching him a valuable life skill. As he gets older there will be many more valuable life skills that he will need to learn and sometimes they may involve crying. That's just a part of life.
A great book I recommend is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth. It gives you options to choose from to break bad sleep habits. You don't have to rea the whole book but can skip to the age or phase you need. The author also has a facebook page!!!
As people already suggested, you're going to have to start putting him down to sleep without letting him fall asleep in your arms. That's a major first step. Then, when he wakes you can go and comfort him without picking him up so that he knows you are there and respond to him, but aren't going to do the work for him. He may/will cry, and you don't have to let him cry for hours. Let him cry for 5 mins., do it again, wait 10 mins. next time, do it again,etc. He'll start to figure it out pretty quickly. You may have a rough night or 2 or 3, but I really think that will fix it as long as you don't cave in and take him to your bed. That starts you at square 1 again.
Best of luck. I hope you are able to get some sleep soon!!!
5 moms found this helpful
D.B. answers from Charlotte on October 26, 2011
K., the reason he won't sleep and be still is that he doesn't have to. You do everything for him. Whatever he demands, he gets. You put him in bed with you still, and that is what he expects.
Is he in the crib in his own room or in your room? He needs to be in his own room. Try getting a white noise machine - that might help him with hearing stuff.
If the book you are reading doesn't work, instead, read the Ferber method (updated) and decide if you could do that. Let hubby wear earplugs while you sleep train. It is hard to sleep train when they are teething, but I would not pick your baby up from his crib while you wait for the teething to subside. If you feel you must go in there, just pat him on the back. The best way to do it is to go in 5 minutes after he cries, pat him, walk out, then wait 10 minutes, go in and pat him, walk out, then 15, then 20, etc. If you pick him up, if you put him in bed with you, if you are wishy-washy, he will wake up all night long screaming for you to put him to sleep. If you sleep train him, he will learn to go to sleep on his own. And you will know how to handle 2nd baby when he or she comes along.
5 moms found this helpful
S.L. answers from Kansas City on October 26, 2011
I don't mean to be negative so hope it doesn't sound like I am. I have written on here before about my first child. I patted him to sleep and sat in his room. I did this every night. He was our first and I thought everything 'firm' would make him not like us, or me. So I did that. It got very hard on my husband as I was sitting in the room all night patting and then when I crawled to the door he would pop up and cry. I realize this is not co sleeping and an all night disturbance but it was a disturbance to our life. Finally about the time our second child was born, 12 months later, the pediatrician told my husband to send me around the block driving to keep me out of the room and let him cry it out. I didn't have to drive around but it only took a few days, less than a week. He cried and when I didn't go in it got less and less crying each night. He was 12 months old or close to it and he understood the situation and still knew we loved him and he slept better then and we had the evening to see each other. It didn't hurt him, wasn't mean and all I thought it was. I would suggest you talk with your husband and tell him for a few nights he will hear crying and see if he's willing to put up with it. It won't last long IF you are consistent and stick to not picking him up. I would suggest his own room though. He will be much better not seeing you and thinking he can get you up then. This is just what I learned and it's up to you. I will say if you are having another baby you do want to break this BEFORE the baby if you can or you'll be up all night and the baby will learn the pattern of the other child and family. My other children all went to bed fine as they learned from the beginning. I did rock one a bit before bedtime but he went right to sleep then. I know many will not agree with this crying it out but I do know it works and doesn't hurt the child at all. They have to learn sometime that you are there but not every minute of day and night unless there is a real need to go in.
4 moms found this helpful
J.M. answers from Fayetteville on October 27, 2011
First I want to say, I see that you have done nothing wrong. You are doing what you feel is best for you and you family. Even now you know it is time for a change.
The one thing that promtted me most to reply was the fact that you are giving teething tablets at bed time. Are you aware that teething tablets have caffeine in them? Caffeine is a natural stimulant that aids in pain management but non the less is a stimulant. It may not be the cause, but I would not think that it helps with his restlessness.
Hope this helps.
4 moms found this helpful
F.H. answers from Phoenix on October 26, 2011
Wow, this sucks! The best advice I got when I was preggo with my first was to NEVER rock the baby to sleep and to put them in their own crib/bed awake so they learn to put themselves to sleep. I did this with both kids and from their first week home they both slept 12 hours straight thru the night until they were almost 3. And now at ages 12 and 9 they are still good sleepers. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice since I never had this problem but will suggest maybe a fan on in the room. The white noise may help keep the other noise from waking him up. Good luck!!!
4 moms found this helpful
L.A. answers from Austin on October 26, 2011
Get your husband some earplugs. they will block a lot of the noise.
Babies/toddlers/children do not sleep in one position the whole night.. Heck I toss and turn all night too.
Have a routine every night and stick with it the same every night. Keep it calm and quiet around your son. He does not want to feel like he is missing out on anything going on around the house.
Once your son is in bed asleep,
Give your son time to move around and even cry a little before you go in.. Sometimes they will even talk or sing, this is not the time to go in if he is not hard crying.. Just leave him be.
If/when you do go in, Do not turn on the lights, do not look him in the eye, do not pick him up do not speak with him. Give him his binky and pat him for a moment and then leave.
We had friends that left about 5 pacifiers in the crib, so that when their daughter reached around for one in the dark, she could find it.
I agree with either having a humming fan, soft music or a white noise machine to help block the sounds out for your son.. Especially when the newborn comes.
4 moms found this helpful
B.G. answers from Champaign on October 26, 2011
Excellent book!!! Elizabeth Pantley really does have some great ideas. I was going to suggest it, actually. I never really did the crib. My kids co-slept (and still do some nights). The one thing we did to help them get used to their own bed was to put a twin size mattress on the floor. We did this for two reasons. First, so they began each night in their own bed (at the first waking, they joined us). Second, so we could lie down with them if need be. I could lie down next to them our squish together on the mattress, sing to them, rub their backs, etc. Whatever they needed in order to relax.
The kicking and moving really sucks!!! They do grow out of it, but 5 year old didn't grow out of it until he was 3 or so, I think. My youngest is 2 1/2 and still does it sometimes. It helps us get more sleep that they begin their nights in their own bed. At least we get a few hours to ourselves. Some nights we joke about it. "How long to he wakes up?" And then we both guess at time. Some times we wake up in the morning surprised to find just the two of us in bed.
Hang in there!!! It really does get better :-)
3 moms found this helpful