May 10, 2008,
J.K. asks from Phoenix, AZ on April 21, 2008
Getting Pregnant at Age 37 - Goodyear,AZ
I am 37 years old and I just had a miscarriage over the weekend. We weren't planning on having more children but now a part of me wants another one. I'm concerned about pregnancy at this age especially since I'm high risk (I have antibodies against my baby's platelets and need IVIG treatments every week from 5 months to delivery.) I was just wondering if there is anyone out there who had been pregnant and older than 35? How did it go?
So What Happened?™
B.R. answers from Santa Fe on April 22, 2008
I am 43 and pregnant now, due in July with my fourth child. Not just one, but ALL of my children have been born when I was older than 35. I had them at 36, 38, 40, and now (God willing everything goes well) at 43. I never had any complications.
My sincere condolences about your miscarriage. I've had 5 miscarriages and know what a heartbreak it is.
1 mom found this helpful
O.L. answers from Las Cruces on April 22, 2008
Our stories may differ some, but I hope mine will provide you with encouragement in the case you decide to try for another baby. I'm 44 going on 45 this July and have a 3 1/2 year-old boy and 5 1/2 year-old daughter. Both pregnancies, as well as my children, were healthy considering my age. I was obviously "high risk" and was a nervous wreck everytime I went for an ultrasound or blood test (plenty of those each pregnancy!)for the fear of being told something was wrong. My blood pressure was higher than normal once when I went to a specialist for an ultrasound and immediately went back to normal when the doctor's visit turned out to be reassuring. Fortunately, I had always worked out and eaten fairly healthy, didn't smoke, and drank alcholic beverages on occasion but limited myself to no more than 1 to 2 drinks each time. Thank goodness I was a light-weight and never cared for hang-overs. I did drink plenty of water (I typically don't drink as much as I should) and my husband made me these awesome nutritional smoothies during both pregnancies. No history with down syndrome in my family so that gave me peace of mind. I didn't experience any medical complications such as gestational diabetes, but maybe two or three days of edema...the swelling of my feet and ankles during the summer. I tired easily but forced myself to take regular walks with my husband and daughter in stroller. I was able to work up until three days before I delivered my first, then I became a SAHM. I will admit that it seemed to have taken a toll on my body and didn't bounce back that quickly especially after having my second child. It's taken me a while to get into the groove of feeling healthy again...just seem to be tired more than before.
Best of luck to you and your family!!! Keep us posted.
D.P. answers from Tucson on April 22, 2008
I am so sorry for your loss. You should take time to grieve the loss and take a few months to think about whether you want another for sure or not. I have never suffered a miscarriage, but know several people who have and you really need to give yourself some time right now and just allow yourself to heal from the loss and be with the 4 children you do have and help them get through this as well.
I had my second baby at 37 years old and had no problems. I was healthy and hope to have 1 more sometime before I hit 42. I am now 39 years old. Stay healthy and take care of yourself and your wonderful children you do have for now and talk to your husband about it when your ready to, if you decide it is really what you do want once the healing process is done.
P.H. answers from Phoenix on April 23, 2008
I had my last baby at 39. Luckily everything went just as well as the other 3 pregnancies.
I am not familiar w/ your condition. It sounds like a huge risk to me. Obviously something went terribly wrong with your last pregnancy.
I would rely on the advice from your OB-GYN.
My girlfried who is 42 also has had several miscarrages in the past 3 yrs. She also has to kids 17 & 16.
She said to me, "Why is God punishing me?"
I said to her, "Maybe he is doing you a favor" (Being that her life could be threatened)
I'm sorry for your loss.
Best of luck to you
L.S. answers from Tucson on April 22, 2008
I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage.
I got pregnant for the first time when I was 36, and my son was born after my birthday when I turned 37.
I am not a small girl (by doctors I'm considered obese) but I had an amazingly easy pregnancy - not even any morning sickness - no high blood pressure, no gestational diabetes, nothing until my 37th week. My fluid level dropped then and I needed to be induced. But, luckily, do to the "advanced maternal age" thing, I was being monitored twice a week for just this problem. So, everything worked out.
I will have to say that my delivery made up for my pregnancy - it was very difficult. Part of that was due to the Pitocin, and part of it was due to the fact that apparently the only part of me that is not plus-sized is my birth canal - my DS literally got stuck and needed to be assisted out with the vacuum. But he's fine, and I'm fine, and especially with the special monitoring they do to anyone over 35 who is pregnant I wouldn't hesitate to get pregnant again if that's what you want to do.
Good luck with your decision and I wish you a healthy pregnancy if you decide to do it.
S.D. answers from Santa Fe on April 29, 2008
Your family is in my prayers I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage, GOD bless you!
I am 38 yrs old and have a 7 month old little girl. I can only tell you that it was hard on my body at my age.... I am not in my 20's anymore.... I had a hard time sleeping and my energy was tapped, I did work all the way up to just 8 days before my due date but she came another 5 days after that.... I was also high risk. I did think about having another baby but for me we made the choice not to. Only you can decide whether or not you want to do it again.
Good luck !!
P.A. answers from Huntsville on April 22, 2008
I had my third baby at 40. I was worried about having a baby at my age especially since I too am considered high risk: age and high blood pressure. I made sure I had the best prenatal care from the beginning, I saw a doctor that specialized in high risk pregnancies and we had all the available testing. Because of the risk factor I had doctors visits more often than a normal pregnancy. I had an ultrasound every month and fetal monitoring twice a week at the end. My pregnancy wasn't without it's complications...my VSI results came back at a 75% chance of having a baby with abnormalities, I had gestational diabetes and my water broke (in public!!!!) at 36 weeks. At 4 weeks early my baby weighed only 5 lbs 15 oz but he was healthy. We now have a wonderful 14 month old son and at 41 we are trying for another. At my age I think I'm a much better mother than I was when my other children were born. Don't let your age discourage you from having a baby. With today's medical advances it can be a very safe and rewarding experience.
S.G. answers from Tucson on April 21, 2008
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I got pregnant unexpectedly (I had an IUD!) last year at 37, and even though it was unplanned, it didn't take long for me to feel very invested and attached. We have a blended family - my step-sons are 13 and 11, and my biological boys are 15, 10, 3&1/2, and 6 mos. I think I was somewhat more uncomfortable with this last pregnancy, but otherwise it really wasn't much different than the previous one. I did have some high blood pressures toward the end, but I had had that previously too. I had my prenatal care and delivered at the Birth Center and they were amazingly supportive. The midwives really helped me throughout, from adjusting to the initial surprise, to the delivery itself. We had a chuckle over "advanced maternal age", since 35 is really such an arbitrary cutoff. I would say if you really want to do it again, being 37 is no reason not to.
Best of luck,
T.F. answers from Albuquerque on April 21, 2008
So sorry to hear about your loss. I recently had a miscarriage in October. I know how frustrating it can be!! My neighbor who is 39 just had a healthy baby boy. And they are both doing extremely fine. She did the amnio. and that put her at ease. If you really want to have another baby, I would first have some time to grieve over your miscarriage and then decide if having a baby is something that you really want. Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you and your family.
R.H. answers from Flagstaff on April 22, 2008
I had a normal, beautiful, healthy child at the age of 35. The Dr.'s kept telling me the same thing about me being high risk at that age. My sister also had a normal and healthy child at her age of 39, I believe she was at the time. Her little girl is beautiful and has no problems whatsoever. She didn't even go in for any kind of exam during the entire duration of her pregnancy until she went into labor. I'm sorry to say but the Dr.'s don't know everything.
C.H. answers from Albuquerque on April 22, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no experience with that kind of pain, so I can't offer advice on your decision to try again. However, I had my first (and probably only) baby when I had just turned 39. I had a totally complication free pregnancy and a unmedicated, intervention free hospital birth with a midwife. My son and I came out of the experience totally fine (well, none the worse for wear anyway). I would really recommend working with a midwife. With a midwife, you will still monitored closely during your pregnancy. If complications develop, she will recognize when you are no longer "low risk" and the obstetrician will need to take over your care more directly. The advantage of a midwife is they tend to spend a lot more time with you in each appointment than the OBs do. At least if you live in Albuquerque, great midwife care that is integrated into OB practices is pretty easily available if you choose that route. Whichever route you choose, even if it is to not try again, I wish you all the best.
W.W. answers from Tucson on April 22, 2008
Good morning...I hope things are going well and I am sorry for your loss. I too just went through a miscarriage (5 weeks ago)and feel as though I want another child.
I am 38 and have three children 11 yo, 6 yo, and 17 mos. So I have been pregnant after 35. I am not sure of what medical conditions you have but I am high risk as well. I have high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. I feel no matter what age you are, as long as you take your doctors advice and do what is needed to have a healthly baby you and the baby should be fine.
I was told by my doctor that if I wanted to try to get pregnant again, I just needed to wait until after I had my first cycle after the loss. Well it just ended. This is day 9 so I should be ovulating soon. My dilemma, I am still undecided. If it is meant to happen it will.
Good luck on your decision. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. God bless.
V.C. answers from Flagstaff on April 22, 2008
I'm currently pregnant at age 39 years old, which I've also been told that I'm at high risk as well like others that are over age 35. However, I'm doing very well. I think it takes faith and believe in ones self that everything will be fine and taking care of yourself and the child inside. I pray everyday for a healthy pregnancy, delivery and of course a healthy baby. I'll be delivering close to my 40th birthday so that makes it more exciting. Just believe in the Lord and if you get pregnant again that is just another great blessing. Do not be afraid.
W.B. answers from Flagstaff on May 10, 2008
Hi Jamiee!!I'm so sorry for your loss its one of the hardest things in the word to go through.I just want to tell you that my bioligical mother had me at 38 years old.she gave me up for adoption only because she was a single mother and coud not affford more kids.If you are willing to do what you need to do for your defiency and your heart truky aches for another chid i say go for it!!!
C.S. answers from Phoenix on April 22, 2008
I have had friends and family pregnant over 35 and my parents also had me at 35/36, but I think more importantly than biological age, is your health. How do you feel physically, spiritually, & emotionally about having more children? Sometimes medical standards say there is some magical age to stop having children, but the bottom line is I know some women who are incredibly healthy in their late 30's and many women who are unhealthy in their 20's or early 30's, so go with your instinct. It also may be a good idea to wait a little while, because miscarriages are so emotional (I absolutely understand going through one myself). It is hard to know what to do right after they happen.
Best wishes with your choices and decisions.
C.S. answers from Albuquerque on April 22, 2008
First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are doing well.
I am turnig 37 in a couple of weeks and am due with my second child this June. Even though I am in good health, I am still considered AMA (Advanced Maternal Age). So far so good, knock on wood. I have had more pregnancy side effects with this one than my first 4 years ago. I have had more congestion, colds, aches, growing pains, but all in all, it has been a healthy pregnancy. I did choose to be screened in the beginning for certain birth defects and had an extensive ultrasound around my 20th week.
If you want to try to have another child, I would definitely talk with your doctor, besides your husbaand. Obviously, you may present to be a higher risk for your next pregancy.
I wish you the best.
M.A. answers from Phoenix on April 21, 2008
My pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I well remember the mixed feelings over that. I am not in my thirties-yet, but I did want to say how sorry I am. I was unable to get pregnant for a year after that and I was holding my girlfriends babies constantly afterward. There is definately a grieving process that goes on. I cannot relate to the later pregnancy, but as to extra risk, I can. I did a lot of thinking during the year after the miscarriage, and when my desire to have my ownincreased and was not satisfied(despite timing issues), we decided to try again. My husband also desired to have another, despite some initial reluctance due to the miscarriage. I threatened to miscarry a second time when I was pregnant again, and a dear friend referred me to the herbal store to get some womb and pregnancy supporting herbs. The miscarriage stopped and I gave birth, a little early, to a healthy baby. I have taken these herbs with every pregnancy, and in the months I have known I would be 'trying', and I have not had anymore problems. I know your complications require medication after the fifth month, so I would check to see if there are any interactions if this seems like a good idea for you. I know that helped me a lot. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
J.R. answers from Phoenix on April 21, 2008
Jamimee, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are getting support to help work through your grief. Losing a baby at any stage is difficult.
As you know, having a baby gets harder as we age and takes a bigger toll on our bodies. Lots of women do it successfully though.
I encourage you to focus on working through your feelings about your miscarriage and enjoying your four children. Give yourself several months before you think about another baby, to ensure it's really what you want.
In the meantime, if you are really aching for another baby, here's my tip... I seek out other infants to get my newborn-fix (friends, volunteer work, etc.). I find that usually satisfies my yearning and helps me to figure out if I really want one "full time" or just want to snuggle a sweet little baby for awhile.