Getting Pregnant at 47

Hi, K.. Do I think you're crazy to want another baby? Not at all. Babies are wonderful, but babies grow up. If you have another baby at this age, the child will have to pay for it in many ways in the long run. My husband's parents were in their 40's when he was born, and well.... I'll just say it wasn't fair to him. They were older and not able to do the things most parents did, nor did they understand the younger generation he was in at the time. If you have a baby at 47, you will be 57 when this child is 10,65 when this child is 18. I don't know what's 'right' or 'wrong,' but I know it will be lots of work if you do it. lol Best wishes either way you choose to go!

1 mom found this helpful

I don't want to scare you but my friend got pregant at 45 her son is autistic. My neighbor got pregnant at 46 her son has some sort of developmental disorder. But lots of people do it.

Hey K.!
As long as it is not risky for you or the baby, then go for it!!! Nothing wrong with bringing a baby into a wonderful marriage to be loved and cherished!
Cyndi

I wish my husband would let me. I am 45 now at 43 I gave birth and everyone thought I was crazy. She is the best thing in the world, I already had 4 ahead of her. If you can live with it knowing the risk as your doctor will tell you and if something goes wrong not to blame your age on it and it is just because, then I say go for it. All my children were great children and I was truly blessed, but the what ifs, could I have handled that at 22, 42 or 52, I do not know for sure. So you just have to really consider everything. Good luck. WendySSS

Can I say, Yes you are insane!! LOL! Just kidding! I think it's great. My husband and I were a little concerned about having another child after our third and our decision was based on the fact that we want a life after the children are grown and we are not too old to enjoy it! His parents are older and have never really been able to enjoy their "retired" life. Not to say that now I sometimes wish we could have another, my children are so wonderful and they seem to get cuter each one we have! But please speak to your doctor about the health risks. Not just to you but the baby as well. I've seen many women your age have healthy, happy little ones and everyone knows that children help to keep us young at heart! Being married to the man of your dreams, I would want a child with him too, if it were me. My very best of luck to you and stick to what you want in life. I've learned that's really the only way to be happy. Take care!

Heck if your crazy then so am I.Im a few yrs younger then you..38next week and have wanted a baby(girl have 2teen boys) for a few yrs.Problem is after my second son I had my tubes tied since my then husband and I decided 2 was enough plus there were medical reasons I had it done.Now that Im seeing someone else we have talked about having children together.He has 5 boys from 2 previous relationships..only the 2youngest live with him and my oldest lives with me.

So thought from everyone?..I say if your doctor had no conerns then go for it..good luck..
S. B

My sister had 4 boys while in her forties. On top of that she home birthed with a midwife.

My first thought was. . . YES, you are CRAZY. However, after giving it some thought. . . Since your youngest is only six. . . and the next one is only eight. . . I say, if this is something you both want. . . go for it. A child is a blessing and, apparently, your family has a lot of love to share. Be happy!

You have said that you are in great health. You do not mention your husbands age or his health. This is something that you should also consider. A man's age and health can also contribute to birth defects. Other factors that you have not said is whether you have parents (yours or your husbands) that require care. I have a sister who is a lot younger than I am. As my grandparents aged my parents had to provide a lot of care for them. It was hard on my mom and dad to work, take care of parents and have a child at home. I love my sister dearly and she stayed with my husband and I during this time. My mom often comments on how she feels like she missed out on her growing up because she was so busy caring for her parents and working. The other question is will you feel up to taking care of a teenager when you are 60.

I'll share what happened to me, but bottom line is that each individual is different. In my case, my second dh, (1st is deceased), considered having a child but decided against it. That was when I was just shy of 40, and my daughter was 16. Later on, we had a "scare" when I was 46, and it brought on a whole bunch of thoughts that dh and I discussed. We would have had the baby, no question on that, but now I know that it would have been extremely difficult, and financially a burden. I had serious health problems later on and had started perimenopause in my thirties, and it dragged on for nearly 14 years! My dh had a small stroke, thankfully he recovered. I don't think it would have been fair to the child, although I know if we had had one, it would have been special and very loved. Now that I'm close to the big 60, I can't imagine having to keep up with a teenager again!! I inherited a step daughter two years older than my bio daughter at remarriage, and those two kept us on our toes!! LOL
So I enjoy our kids, grandkids, and in my heart I know God knew best. Part of me was thrilled to find out I wasn't pregnant, and a part of me was disappointed, but it all worked out. Any baby I would have had, would have been subjected to sickly mom for a few years, a dad that would've not been able to be the kind of dad he used to be, and alienated from his MUCH older siblings, being an aunt or uncle to people older then him/her. Add to that the higher risk that our baby may have been a special needs child, adding additional stress, worry, and financial issues.
Do whatever you desire, but with a realistic and intelligent view. Consider ALL the changes that having a baby would mean, including going through menopause with a very young child. Many women are fine with it, but since we don't have a crystal ball, can't tell what our own experience will be. I was down in bed several days a month with extreme pain and hemorrhaging about every other month, then excruciating headaches, mood swings, weight gain, and high blood pressure. I'm not trying to scare you, but I know that any child we would have had, would have gone through those things "with" me. Having had a sickly mom when I was growing up, I wouldn't wish it on my own child.
Certainly take advice from the other moms, and consult with your ob/gyn and consider all options. And I will share one more thing, that a dear friend of mine had her first child at 42, the second at 44, and they are fine, precious little girls, and she LOVES being a mom. She tried for several years when she was in her early and mid thirties to become pregnant, had a miscarriage at 35, so just accepted that it wasn't going to happen, then BINGO, two in a row!!

Hope all the shares help you to decide with your dh what avenue to take, make the right decision for you, then go with it and don't look back.

VERY RISKY. im ky i know if you are over 40 i think it is they will send you to a specialist even if you are in great shape (which costs a lot more than a reg ob) i would really think about adoption if you are wanting another baby. its a great way to help a child in need and you save your body

My dearest friend had her last child at 46 and did great. There is always an increased risk for down syndrome in later in life babies, but it appears to me that you've had 2 babies after the age of 35 and are fine. So I would let your heart tell you what to do. Discuss it with your husband & if the risks are not too great for the both of you, I say go for it. Best of luck to you.

I think it's great! I gave birth to my first child @ 41 and would love to have another one. However, I worry about the same things as I did with the 1st. My issue is the weight gain. I'm still having a hard time losing the weight I originally gained with my daughter. Selfish reason, but my reason. If you are healthy and can remember what it's like to get up all hours of the night and can stay active for the new baby, I say GO FOR IT! Let us all know what you decide or when you get pregnant.

Good for you! Go for it. My mom had me in her 40s and she said it always kept her young!

I say go for it babies are wonderful. If its in God's plan for you to have another one you will without any problems. Good Luck!!

I would definitely suggest you talk to your doctor before deciding anything. The risks to the baby are very high over age 40. Not that it can't be done, my mom had a baby at 43. But it was hard on her body and now her health is not that great and my sister is only 16. But your doctor will know what your body can and can't handle. Best wishes to you whatever decision you make!

K.,

Go for it! I had my last child at the age of 42 and turned 43 shortly after. Had three other children at the time - 21, 16, and 14. What a blessing. My older daughter who is now 22 finally has the sister she always wanted and my eight year old keeps me young.

We have a blast visiting the parks, going to kids movies, hanging out doing fun things, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I always tell her she brings me joy every day!

When she was in kindergarten she told me I was the oldest mom in the room and that all of the other moms had regular cheeks, but that mine were soft and squishy! I told her that just made me special.

People do sometimes mistake me for her grandmother since I have quit coloring my hair and the natural gray abounds - but I just laugh about it. I thank God daily that at such a ripe age I was blessed with a beautiful, healthy child - who cares if I am gray!

P.

Hi K.,
Well, since I am 43 and have a son who will be 4 in March and a 15 month old daughter, I am all in favor of having children in your 40's! It is wonderful!!! Both of my pregnancies went really well and I had normal vaginal births. Of course I was not quite 47, but about a month shy of being 42 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter! There were no complications and I am enjoying both of my babies very very much. I think that maybe I appreciate them more and cherish the time more than I would have, had I had them when I was alot younger. After all, time goes by much faster the older we get, wouldn't you say? I say go for it as long as you will be able to keep up with him! or her! lol
Best of luck to you!
T.

Me personally, I think if your husband and other children are all supportive, you can afford it and you have the energy (!!!???), then you should go for it. I have several friends who had children in their 40's and most are doing very well - one friend is always sick and has no energy and is always stuck at home with her daughter, but that is an exceptional case. Of course, getting pregnant will be harder at your age and you may need to decide just how long you will try. But the decision is really yours and your husband's and nobody else should be able to talk you out of it if you determine it's what you want.

Personally, I physically could not do it because of the amount of energy it takes. I am 40 and have 2 beautiful girls, 4.5 and 1. The last pregnancy was harder on my body. We lost a child in between. I was sooooo scared of neural tube defects and downs and did all the testing. It wasn't until 18 weeks and the amnio that I could relax alittle. I would say that you and your husband need to understand and research all of the defects that could occur after 40 and look at the odds. A genetic counselor would be a very good resource to use. Also, not to worry you, I have a friend who had a healthy girl at 40, lost 2 children (one before and one after). At 42, she carried a son to term who had trisomy 18 and died in utero at term. She had to deliver still born. They did find out at 18 weeks (with amnio to confirm) that he had this. You need to decide what decisions you would make in every case. She new that he only at a 5-10% chance of living and even then, only a few day/weeks. It is always difficult if there are problems, as I have been there, but if you have an idea how you would react to each type of genetic defect, it gives you a head start if you should need it. Good luck in your decision making.

I saw a 51 year old woman on the talk show 'The Dr's' who was carrying twins for her daughter who couldn't get pregnant. I'm not sure how things ended up, but at the time I believe she was about halfway through the pregnancy and everyone was happy and healthy. So, I guess anything's possible! :)

Having fertility issues, I've read a book called Fertility Wisdom by Angela Wu, a Doctor of Oriental Medicine. She has helped many people have babies who otherwise were unable to. In the book she said that none of the babies have had down syndrome, even though their mothers were often "older". You might want to check the book out, and follow her counsel, to optimize your outcome. Good luck!

Hi K.,

I don't think you're insane,you are very normal! I am 43 and I have been having the same feeling. Although my only child (daughter) is 15 and in 2 more years will be heading off to college, it has nothing to do with that, I love being a mom! I say, if God blesses your womb with a bundle of joy, then you're not insane, but rather BLESSED! If you and your husband are in agreement then it is no ones business if you chose to have a baby at 47. If you're doctor say it's okay, then do it, but I would advise that you make sure it's truly something you want. Babies are beautiful to have, but then what about your life and time for yourself. Think carefully about any decision you make and whatever you decide, be ready for that change. I wish you well!

K. G.

You do realize you will probably have to use a donor egg at this point. I got an egg from my sister who is 9 years younger than me. It was a very stessful time in my life but my daughter is 15 months now and she is sooo wonderful. So if you want to go through all that, go for it!

Do you want to be at retirement age when your child is in the middle of college?

Do you have the energy in your fifties to deal with a teenager and grandchildren?

Can you offer your other children the same opportunities they deserve while caring for a newborn? Think about dinner and movie with the boys while toting along a 1 year old or toddler.

Your kids are finally all old enough to make some grand travel plans. Put the money that a newborn would cost into a family trip to the Grand Cannon or Paris.

If something's missing, get a really cute little Yorkie puppy or a new kitten. Human babies are way way harder.

You'd have to childproof again, messy floors, potty training, fussy baby in the check-out lane, teething, carseats, the green-eyed monster.

I think you should take your life as it is and enjoy it and not make it harder than it needs to be.

This is coming from the mother of an 18 month old and 3 year old who very much looks forward to her kids being 6 and 8.

While the risks are much higher; you could still have a healthy baby. I had my last child the year I turned 40 and went through alot of test and screenings and the doctors "scaring" me. He's a happy, wonderful 2 year old now. Praise God! But, my husband and I had decided that NO MATTER what happened, we would love him unconditionally! The pregnancy was harder on me than my previous one....I had gestational diabetes amoung other things. Please weigh ALL the pros and cons and then make the decision that is best for your family! Good luck!!

Since you asked, yes, I think you're crazy. :-)

YES! You are insane!! :D LOL!

Kidding, of course! I am only 35 and had all 3 of my unplanned blessings between ages 22-26, but I still "crave" a baby! But in our case, we are thinking of either fostering or adopting an older child (above age 3) so that my daughter can have a sister and we can do something to help out homeless children in this world. There are so many needs in this country and beyond.

But if your new hubby wants one of his own and/or adoption isn't a feasible option, many women have had babies much later than 47/48. But you must know the risks going into the pregnancy and be prepared to raise a Down's Syndrome baby or a child with other health issues that come from "advanced maternal age" - they no longer call those of us 35+ "old", I guess! :) My best friend is almost 45 and has a 23 year old son, a 12 year old son, and would LOVE to have another of her own. She can't do that, according to doctors, and would jump at any chance she could. So she says "go for it, girl!"

As far as being older and burdening a child with your health issues as you enter your elderly age and they are starting out their own family, it has been done many times over by accident and by experience (my mom's much younger sister), it IS tough on a woman in her 20s to bury her 74 yr old father while holding a toddler on her hip. But there is always a chance of something happening to you or your hubby, healthy or not, and you will make provisions for the children you have already, so you will do the same for a new one.

Pray about this, have your husband praying, discuss ALL options - if he is open to fostering young children (they recommend your own kids be older due to problems foster children may have) or even adopting a baby or toddler, then that is certainly applaudable... If he feels a strong desire to be a biological father, God will speak to you and show you if it is right for your family. Go with your instincts, and pray/hope for the best!

God bless you!
A.

I think you have to think of it from the child's perspective, having less time of his/her life that you will be around for. Children need parents at 10, 20 and even 30..how did your parents and your husbands parents age? People grow older, things change, illness is more likely as you get older. Have you considered adoption/fostering? I appreciate that you and your husband are 'young' in your marriage, but I think you still need to recognize your biological age.

I think you are, bringing a baby into this world now, does not leave much time, if, god forbid, you get sick. Please help a family in need or volunteer at a hospital or daycare, or just be a nanny.

Dear K.,

No you are not insane. I also am 47 and want another child but I can't. My body wouldn't be able to handle it. I had 12 pregnancies and only one successful birth at age 40. My body was put through a ringer with all of the fertility treatments and ectopic explosion and the loss of all my children. One even got to 4 months before I lost him. I so desperatley want another one but I know I can't. The other reason I can't is my husband has had strokes and can no longer work. He is not paralized but he does take care of the house and our 7 year old to the best of his ability. I have always wanted to give him a son. I know now and have accepted that it will never happen.

However, with you, if you are in good physical health, your doctor agrees with you and your husband knows the possibility of the outcome AND you fully understand the implications, then I would say go for it. Everyone can tell you what could possibly happen but no one knows for sure. It is a chance you take and if you are willing to take it, then go for it girl!!! And God bless you!!! I will pray for you that you make the right decision for yourself and your family. As a fellow 47 year old that would love to have another child, I will be with you in spirit!!!

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

E.

K., I have to share that I have 14 years between my (children)blessings. My oldest, a son was born 4/89 and my long awaited 2nd blessing, a daughter was born 12/02 so that makes the oldest soon to be 20 and my daughter just turned 6.

I did lose 2 babies in before I had my daughter. I say GO FOR IT! You can consult with a high risk doctor or a doctor who specializes in advance maternal age, as they will refer to it as. I also wanted to point out that my sister in law had my nephew who has Down Syndrome and she was only 29 when she had him so... it isn't always about being "OLDER" or as I say we are "SEASONED". ;)

K., I would do some research on things as far as health factors and meet with a OB to discuss things so you know what to expect as our bodies do change the older we get.

I do want to say GO FOR IT AND have fun!
The pregnancy may 'wear you out' per say but other than that.. go for it and do what is best for you and your family.

I believe that is entirely your choice.If your dr. says you are healthy and you and your husband understand that pregnancy late in life carry some small risks,but you will probably breeze right through with no problems. AND NO I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE CRAZY<I COMMEND YOU>!!!!

K.,

I conceived at 39 and am now 41 - I was in excellent shape when I got pregnant. I would suggest talking to your OB and finding out what your numbers of risk are for neural tube defects and other disorders like Down's Syndrome - they go up astronomically when you turn 40. I say if you have the energy, are willing to take the risks and your husband is supportive, go for it. You have to keep in mind that you'll be retired around the time your child will be going to college, that's one thing I never really thought about when I got pregnant. You would not necessarily need a donor egg if your eggs are in good shape and you're still ovulating. I have never regretted my decision and I've found that even though I'm not in great shape anymore, my daughter keeps me young!

Best of luck!!

Hey K.,

If you are not afraid of the body handling it, and not worried about child issues... go for it. My best friend adopted at 48 (she has scoliosis so feared the body issues) and the child keeps her young and active. But, my grandmother had my Uncle when she was 44. He said it was always awkward for him at school functions.. everyone thought they were his grandparents. Reality bites sometimes!! Trust your doctor, trust your heart and trust God. What is best will be!!!

K.,
When I read your story, I had to respond. I see you are from Spring Hill. I am in Murfreesboro. I was married to the devil for 17 yrs. God finally decided that I had enough punishment and after 10 yr of hard vicious praying, God finally sent me an angel. He didn't have children as he had been married to Miss Devil himself. He is the best man in the world and should have had a hundred of them. I had 3 boys from the "devil" marriage. I had never been "fixed" and decided that if I got pregnant fine and if not, no big deal. I think it is only natural to want to have a family with the most wonderful person in the world. Well, at 45 I was pregnant and had the most beautiful baby girl you have ever laid eyes on. She is strong and healthy, no problems what so ever, and she is the smartest thing I have ever seen to be 2 yrs old. I had a hard time carrying her because my back hurt really bad, probably due to age. But still it was nothing compared to the joy I have now. They made me do so many ultrasounds it wasn't funny and they did blood work alot throughout the preganancy because the chances of having downs syndrome was like 1 in 200 chances. Things were fine, and I never even had to have an amnio because the dr said that could cause spontaneous self abortion and he saw nothing in the ultrasound that would indicate that would be necessary. I would do it all again in a heart beat even at my age. I am 47 now.
This is my advice to you. Get you some good prenatal vitamins and start taking them NOW, eat right, and start exercising NOW. Talk to your dr so that as soon as you know you are pregnant you can get in for an ultrasound righ away to make sure things are fine. Then.... just go for it. Don't delay and don't wate. Motherhood at 47 is better than you can imagine.....so much better than when you were younger. It is truly amazing. They keep you young, you enjoy life more, you are a better mother because of your age and you just wouldn't imagine the fulfillment you get from such a truly wonderful experience. And you and your husband will have that true bond and you will see your relationship grow closer every day.
GO FOR IT!
If you want to write and talk or get together anytime, let me know. My email is: ____@____.com
Good luck. Don't wait. Go for it. It is the most wonderful life you could ever imagine. Don't miss it and don't let it get away.

Get yourself checked out, find an OB that truly supports you and go for it!

My grandmother was 45 when she had my mom in 1944. She lived to be 99. She had had one other child 25 years prior (my Aunt!) My aunts kids are only 3 years younger than my mom. We are all crazy & and happy to have one another.

Blessings~

P