43 answers

Getting Pregnant at 47

Am I insane to want a baby at 47? I have 3 sons from a previous marriage (14, 8, 6). My oldest lives with his dad in another state. I have married the best man in the world who asked all 3 of us to marry him. We are trying to weigh the risks with a pregnancy at my age, but I would love to have another baby. Any opinions would be appreciated :). I am in great health for my age with no known problems.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hi, K.. Do I think you're crazy to want another baby? Not at all. Babies are wonderful, but babies grow up. If you have another baby at this age, the child will have to pay for it in many ways in the long run. My husband's parents were in their 40's when he was born, and well.... I'll just say it wasn't fair to him. They were older and not able to do the things most parents did, nor did they understand the younger generation he was in at the time. If you have a baby at 47, you will be 57 when this child is 10,65 when this child is 18. I don't know what's 'right' or 'wrong,' but I know it will be lots of work if you do it. lol Best wishes either way you choose to go!

1 mom found this helpful

Hey K.!
As long as it is not risky for you or the baby, then go for it!!! Nothing wrong with bringing a baby into a wonderful marriage to be loved and cherished!
Cyndi

You do realize you will probably have to use a donor egg at this point. I got an egg from my sister who is 9 years younger than me. It was a very stessful time in my life but my daughter is 15 months now and she is sooo wonderful. So if you want to go through all that, go for it!

More Answers

I am 50 years old with a 4 year old. I had him at age 46. I would encourage you to talk over the health risks with your OB and know what you are getting into on the front end. Obviously I would go for it!

I have four children ages 19, 17, 11, and 4. We did not plan on having the last child. He was a huge surprise and I worried about it for 9 months. I had all the tests to make sure he was healthy--the tests don't give you 100% asssurance that the baby is OK, but they helped ease my mind some. When we were debating what to do my OB said to me, "You have had 3 healthy pregnancies with 3 healthy children. You are healthy. You have lead a healthy lifestyle. The statistics include people who lead unhealthy lifestyles, drink every day, take drugs, etc. So the statistics aren't probably exactly the same for someone who is healthy, has lived a healthy lifestyle, has already had 3 healthy pregnancies, has a spouse who is healthy, and a spouse who has led a healthy lifestyle." The statistics were scary and that was an interesting perspective to consider.

My children had a strong reaction. I wasn't prepared for their reaction. My oldest son said, "Don't do it Mom. I don't think this is a safe idea to have a baby at your age." He thought we were "talking about" doing it. He didn't realize I was already pregnant. My second son said, "I am so embarrassed. None of my friends parents have a BABY! I think you should have an abortion." (I lied and told him that I wanted this baby as much as I wanted HIM! And eventually that was the truth.) My daughter was so excited. She had always wanted a baby sister or brother. Now she was no longer the "baby." My husband was so embarrassed that it took him until I was 5 months pregnant for him to let me tell anyone. I finally told him that it was OK. We are not teenagers. This is not an illegitimate child. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. We are married for gawd's sakes. I did not want people to think I was getting that FAT! I finally understood why he wanted to wait when the teasing started. All the dads at the ballpark gave him a tough time at our older son's baseball games. They thought it was hysterical. Finally my husband shut them up by saying that at least all of his parts still work and he still uses them!

Anyway, my suggestion would be to follow your heart. I had always wanted 4 children and my family really never felt complete until we had our little Jack. But, I will admit, the health issues that come with having an "old momma" pregnancy were not pleasant and the getting up in the middle of the night at our age was tough. Would I do it over again if I was given the chance to change it? In a heart beat. Little Jack is the light of my life, my other children are crazy about him, and I cannot imagine life without him.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi, K.. Do I think you're crazy to want another baby? Not at all. Babies are wonderful, but babies grow up. If you have another baby at this age, the child will have to pay for it in many ways in the long run. My husband's parents were in their 40's when he was born, and well.... I'll just say it wasn't fair to him. They were older and not able to do the things most parents did, nor did they understand the younger generation he was in at the time. If you have a baby at 47, you will be 57 when this child is 10,65 when this child is 18. I don't know what's 'right' or 'wrong,' but I know it will be lots of work if you do it. lol Best wishes either way you choose to go!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi K.,

I'm 51, my son is grown, and what I've seen is mom's who have little ones in their mid-late 40s... they look so worn out (even those who were considered healthy when they had their baby). The worn out look comes no doubt from the act of carrying & delivering but also the daily taking care of the baby/young child.

You will be about my age when your baby is 3. I too am in great physical health and I cannot imagine running around after a toddler and it not wearing me down on at least some levels. You also have to consider the fact... you will be going through menopause when your baby is going through toddler-hood... hmmmm, I'm thinking you probably won't be feeling quite up to dealing with both.

Our culture typically doesn't view menopause as a good change, as such your age now is one where you might be thinking about the larger community and "Wise Woman" - how you can serve the women and girls in your community... it's a period in life where we tend to look beyond ourselves and reach out to those near us.

Another consideration is... the financial crisis we're in. Though it may not last forever, the fact is... what is going on now is not going to be going away any time soon. You and your husband may have enough financially at the moment but that's no guarantee that your finances will be in tact 1 month or 36 months from now.

The last thing you need, when you probably would be getting your finances in line for retirement, is for there to be something unfavorable to upset the balance in your retirement fund, like: our country having a financial crisis and your savings loosing 40% or more of its worth, and having children (I can only imagine what it costs these days), and perhaps loosing a job, or medical expenses... all of these things have severe impacts on our finances.

I'm not trying to turn this into a financial decision but I think it's a good idea to a least consider where you would be financially if one of the expensive things above did occur in your life... sit down with pencil and paper and calculate where you would be financially if one of them happened and what life would be like trying to deal with it.

For what it's worth, I don't know any older woman who has had a child late (my circle of women friends are wealthier, more educated, and seemingly healthy) in life and not have a child who is not handicapped in some form. From what I've seen, after the age of 41 the risks are quite high.

Even women who do live healthier lifestyles still have extremely high levels of toxins in their bodies (their "Body Burden"), toxins that we've gotten from literally everything we've ever done, from the shampoo we use to our body lotion, to household cleaners to that apple we ate, from drinking bottled or tap water to taking a walk down the street... all of those activities have exposed you to tons of toxic chemicals. Our world is so polluted that we cannot get away from it, it's our lifetime exposure to chemicals that are the largest factor in why our chances of having a normal healthy baby go down significantly. Simply looking at the autism rates these days, which is appalling, in women much younger is an unfortunate sign of the times... we're in the "Gender-bender" days.

Perhaps... what you and your lovely husband might consider is getting involved in something together that is "nurturing" to others. Like Habitat for Humanity, or any other number of excellent causes... though it is not the same as having a baby, it still can bring the satisfaction and connection we feel when we reach out and touch the lives of others in significant ways.

All I'm trying to say is, it might be wise to think of all of the possibilities and look into some of them if you have gray areas, lay them all out on the table and spend a lot of time discussing it with your husband. The choice(s) you make now will affect the rest of your life.

Hope this helps. My best wishes!
E.

I wish my husband would let me. I am 45 now at 43 I gave birth and everyone thought I was crazy. She is the best thing in the world, I already had 4 ahead of her. If you can live with it knowing the risk as your doctor will tell you and if something goes wrong not to blame your age on it and it is just because, then I say go for it. All my children were great children and I was truly blessed, but the what ifs, could I have handled that at 22, 42 or 52, I do not know for sure. So you just have to really consider everything. Good luck. WendySSS

Can I say, Yes you are insane!! LOL! Just kidding! I think it's great. My husband and I were a little concerned about having another child after our third and our decision was based on the fact that we want a life after the children are grown and we are not too old to enjoy it! His parents are older and have never really been able to enjoy their "retired" life. Not to say that now I sometimes wish we could have another, my children are so wonderful and they seem to get cuter each one we have! But please speak to your doctor about the health risks. Not just to you but the baby as well. I've seen many women your age have healthy, happy little ones and everyone knows that children help to keep us young at heart! Being married to the man of your dreams, I would want a child with him too, if it were me. My very best of luck to you and stick to what you want in life. I've learned that's really the only way to be happy. Take care!

Hi K.,

I understand the feeling but the risk is too big. No matter how healthy you are, in the hormonal level things change! Talk to your OB about it. Personally, I will never take the chance. I am 40 and I have a 2 year old son with autism. Love him deeply, but the diagnose has rock our world.

Be happy with your great and happy life. Think about retirement with your husband!

S.V.

Heck if your crazy then so am I.Im a few yrs younger then you..38next week and have wanted a baby(girl have 2teen boys) for a few yrs.Problem is after my second son I had my tubes tied since my then husband and I decided 2 was enough plus there were medical reasons I had it done.Now that Im seeing someone else we have talked about having children together.He has 5 boys from 2 previous relationships..only the 2youngest live with him and my oldest lives with me.

So thought from everyone?..I say if your doctor had no conerns then go for it..good luck..
S. B

My sister had 4 boys while in her forties. On top of that she home birthed with a midwife.

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