28 answers

Getting Pregnant Again at Age 40- Any Thoughts?

I am 40 years old and have a wonderful 10 year old son. I got divorced almost 6 years ago and just got married again in May to a terrific man who is 6 years younger than I am. My husband is a great stepfather- patient, kind, - everything a good father should be, and he and my son have a very close relationship.

Recently we have talked about trying to have a baby. My husband put it this way: " W (my son) is a great kid and I love him. But he was kind of a work in progress when I got involved and I would like to be in on this whole thing from the start."

I am totally willing to get pregnant again, but have a few things against me:

1) I am 40 years old
2) I am overweight
3) I have type 2 diabetes.

I have been working with my doctor and steadily and slowly losing weight and getting healthier, but I am still taking glucophage for my diabetes. I've been using a copper (non-hormonal) IUD as birth control for the past 5 years, but it should be no problem to get it taken out and then be 'ready to go'. Normally I am active and most people think I am in my 30s. My period is regular and I don't 'feel' 40, lol.

I would like to know if anyone has any experiences they can share about getting pregnant at my age, BEING pregnant over 40 or with diabetes?
PLEASE- NO HORROR STORIES OR NEGATIVE STATISTICS!
I am well aware of them and have an appointment with my doctor next month to look into my 'female' parts and make sure everything is still in working order and talk about risks.

I mostly want to know other people's personal experiences or those of friends and loved ones. Thanks in advance, Mamas!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I wish you luck! I tried to have a baby with my second husband and couldn't! Oh and I mean that only in the most positive of ways. What a wonderful gift that would be!

3 moms found this helpful

We've decided no babies after age 35 due to health risks for mom/baby. Honestly, my friends who had babies after 40 had problems. But we'd adopt in a heartbeat! Maybe you could adopt.

2 moms found this helpful

I have a friend that had her first at 47 and her second at 49. She had medical issues, so did embryo adoption (IVF), but had great pregnancies and deliveries. After her second via c-section, she was ready to go skiing after 2 weeks, I think her husband talked her into waiting 3. I want to bounce back like that when I grow up!! :)

No, she didn't have diabetes, or weight issues, and she did have to do the embryo adoption, but everything worked out for her just fine and she has two beautiful daughters.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I wish you luck! I tried to have a baby with my second husband and couldn't! Oh and I mean that only in the most positive of ways. What a wonderful gift that would be!

3 moms found this helpful

Yay you! I say go for it! I am 43, and we would LOVE to be pregnant again. My last baby was born when I was 39, and it was my best pregnancy. I know many women who give birth into their 40s without complications. Yes, it would be great to lose the weight and get control of your diabetes. Congrats on the progress you are making. You might look at South Beach as it is so helpful for your situation. You can lose steadily without too much effort, but you do have to cut out sugar and breads (white flour). Hard at first, but you get used to it once you get past the initial withdrawals. What a wonderful man you found. I pray you announce your pregnancy soon!!

2 moms found this helpful

We've decided no babies after age 35 due to health risks for mom/baby. Honestly, my friends who had babies after 40 had problems. But we'd adopt in a heartbeat! Maybe you could adopt.

2 moms found this helpful

A coworker of mine had two adult children when she got re-married to a man 10yrs her junior. I don't think they were trying to conceive, but she had a successful full-term pregnancy at 48yrs old. She was overweight at that time and also had some large fibroid tumors. There were of course extra tests due to her advanced maternal age, but her son is a perfectly healthy little boy. My advice would be to talk with your doctor about your desire to expand your family and see what should be done to control your diabetes and to help ensure a healthy pregnancy. Best wishes! :)

1 mom found this helpful

I have a friend that had her first at 47 and her second at 49. She had medical issues, so did embryo adoption (IVF), but had great pregnancies and deliveries. After her second via c-section, she was ready to go skiing after 2 weeks, I think her husband talked her into waiting 3. I want to bounce back like that when I grow up!! :)

No, she didn't have diabetes, or weight issues, and she did have to do the embryo adoption, but everything worked out for her just fine and she has two beautiful daughters.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it's great that your husband wants to have a child of his own with you. It will be such a wonderful experience for him! I am not familiar with diabetes and pregnancy, but I will say that I know MANY, MANY over-40 moms who did just fine. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

If you don't feel 40 then why not give it a try...I would say to wait until you see your doctor to find out what, if anything, you are up against. I had my daughter at 38 and am now 40. We've been trying for #2 for about a year and a half...we've done IVF twice and are getting ready for a frozen transfer. My husband (6 yrs younger than me too) and I are SO in LOVE with our daughter that we aren't willing to give up on more. We had no problem getting pregnant the first time...very frustrating but I guess I never realized how difficult this could be...you take it for granted until you have issues.

My mom had her first at 38, second at 40 and me at 42...I am so thankful she kept trying and didn't think she was too old to be a mom. She did more and was more active with us than many of my friends whose mom's were 10-15 years younger.

Good luck!! If you're ready as a couple/family...you would be blessed to have another child.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it's awesome. My mom had my little brother at the age of 42~~ he is 10 and i am 33!! I love it. If you decide to have another baby, just be concerned about your health first. But, if you decide to try again....good luck!!!!

1 mom found this helpful

No stories from me,,,just prayers sent your way. God Bless and good luck.

A woman I know just recently had a baby in her late 40ies (let's just say she will be 50 before the baby is ready for pre-school).
She had some help getting pg, but a really easy pregnancy, she was pre-diabetic before getting pg and did develop gestational diabetes that was managed with diet alone. Towards the end of her pregnancy she did develop some hypertension, but that can also hit you at any age...
Healthy happy baby and mommy in the end.
I almost forgot, one of my coworkers was 41 when she had her first, also healthy and happy and a normal pregnancy!
If you want it, I say go for it!

As others have said, diabetes is the most important issue in your situation. At one point, oral BG meds weren't recommended during pregnancy, but I don't know what the latest position is, so be sure to have an honest discussion with your OB and your primary about diabetes management during pregnancy in order to make an informed decision. You should also see a CDE. I don't know if your decision to have a baby would be affected by any possible risks associated with oral meds or the prospect of having to go on insulin. You're being very proactive about your health in preparation for a pregnancy! You can certainly live well with diabetes, but it is a serious disease, and blood glucose control is critical during pregnancy for you and the baby for a positive outcome.

You're lucky to have a supporting and loving husband who wants to take this journey. Best wishes to you!

Good luck to you.Noway will I be trying to get prego at that age or beyond 32 is my limit

I was 39 when I had my first child, and am 42 and trying again. I'm overweight but fit, and don't have diabetes. I've been pregnant 3 times, 2 miscariages (my first pregnancy, and then the last one this winter) and I've had one glorious, live birth. I delivered naturally and had an easy pregnancy. We haven't had any trouble getting pregnant either. Other than the higher miscariage rate (both of my miscariages were due to chromosomal errors), I've had no problems. I do think exercising, eating well and getting enough sleep make all the difference. And I truly believe that you have a lot to offer as an older mom.

Hi E.....I am 42 years old soon to be 43 and I have two grown boys from my first marraige ages 21 and 19. I met a wonderful man 5 years ago who is 6 years younger than me and had no children of his own. We decided to get pregnant and we have a beautiful daughter who will be two in Sept. I too am over weight and I did have some problems with blood pressure and was put on bed rest. My daughter was born two months early due to my blood pressure but had no problems other than being tiny (4lbs). I would do it again in a heartbeat. She is so precious, beautiful and most importantly very healthy... it was all worth it! Just have a very good OBGYN. I had an awesome one! I wish you luck.

I know a lot of women who have had babies at 40 and in their early 40s. I had mine at 36 and 38, so I wasn't too far off! The thing I would be most concerned about is the diabetes -not your age. Talk to your doctor and really follow the doctor's guidelines regarding what would be safe for you to do. Please be willing to have appropriate testing done as well. It's YOUR business what you would do depending on certain test results, but ultimately doctors need to be prepared if they are going to be facing a newborn with any health issues. Good luck!

HI E.:
My husband I met at 39 and 42 and decided if we wanted kids we needed to start right away. I conceived naturally for both of my babies.So to me go for it. I was 40 when I had my first daughter and conceived my 2nd at 44 and delivered at 45. I couldn't be happier. The only issue I had was blood pressure. I went to high risk specialist once a month and everything was fine. I went to term for both babies. I also was little overweight to start.Good luck and go with your heart.. C.

I am an older mom too, two boys when I was 37 and 39 years old...both easy pregnancies and deliveries. They both were a few weeks early but healthy. :) Just want to send positive thoughts and prayers your way. :) It sounds as though the important things are in place...you are a loving family and conscious of what you need to do to have a healthy baby. Best wishes. :)

Yeah for you! :) I will share my experience & offer a little advice. I'm 45, two adult aged children from a previous marriage & had my beautiful baby girl at age 42. She's happy, healthy & was the easiest pregnancy! I too was/am overweight when getting pregnant with her. I did work full-time during my pregnancy, which really helped me to only gain 27 lbs. with her. I did lose most of that & am working on getting back to a healthy weight. The only concerns I would have for you, would be the diabetes, not your age. Gestational diabetes is something I was very concerned about when I was pregnant, even though I never had that with either of my kids. I would definitely make sure with your doctor that your diabetes is monitored. As far as weight goes, if you eat sensibly while your pregnant, you should gain a healthy amount. My situation was similar to yours, 2nd marriage, younger guy & it has worked out beautifully. Good luck to you!!! Don't let people change what's in your heart. If you want to be a Mama again, I say go for it!!! BTW, my Mom will be 90 this year :) She had me at age 44!

Hi
Im 36,a nice big rounded woman and trying for another baby.
My advise is to look at the positives-you have a husband that loves you and wants another baby.If you feel you have the energy LOL -go for it.
As for your diabetes, follow doctors advise during pregnancy.Also you have the best insight into your diabetes and will know what needs to be done to keep yourself healthy.
Enjoy this time getting pregnant! because of you know there wont be much time for love and romance once the new baby arrives.lol
Good Luck
Positive Energy
B.

Can't answer for the diabetes but the over 40, oh yeah. I conceived my first child the day before I turned 40, we did artificial insem. Could not find anything wrong with me, just could not get pregnant. It worked the first time round after the doctor gave me only a 4% chance of getting pregnant. Easy pregnancy, worked pretty much the whole way through. Had to be induced because I had a "lazy uterus", not big deal. Conceived second child at age 42 naturally, no help, easy pregnancy, easy delivery, had to be induced, no problem.

You are doing the right thing by getting healthy and watching your sugars. Be prepared, the doctor will go over the statistics with you, we did not let this stop us. Good luck!!!!!!

Good for you in getting as healthy as you can before the craziness of a pregnancy! My sis-in-law was 39 when she gave birth last year to a beautiful (but 3 mos early) little boy, who is now perfectly fine--but I think the early birth had more to do with the altitude they live at since the Dr. was all "this is common" (?!). The Drs never did come up with a good reason why it happened, so they're not worried.

Anyhoo, she, too, was a bit heavy and age was not on her reproductive side, but she had absolutely no issues and a very healthy pregnancy up until that point. To top it off, she's planning on #2 next year when she'll be 41.

If you're comfortable with having a baby and your doctor gives the green light you'll be medically ok to go ahead...go for it! (or at least have some fun trying with the new hubby :) )

One more thing: my SIL actually lost weight throughout most of her pregnancy since her body already had what it needed to sustain her and the baby. Who woulda thought that pregnancy would be a good weight-loss method?! She did eventually gain a bit in the last few months, but nowhere near the 50+ lbs I put on in my last pregnancy!!

E.,

Many women are having children at 40 and older these days. However at 40 + diabetes + overweight means it could be difficult and dangerous to you. I have a very close friend who is a couple of years younger has a nice husband and teenage son. Her health situation is also similar to yours and she did become pregnant. The outcome was not good and her diabetes got worse.

So please have a long talk with your doc and/or a specialist. It might be best to be thankful for your wonderful husband and sweet son.

Blessings.....

After years of trying (obese, but not diabetic) I finally got pregnant at 40 and gave birth to my perfectly healthy son at 41. I did have to see a high risk OB in addition to my own, more tests, ultra sounds, etc, but nothing unbareable. My blood pressure has always been borderline, so I was on blood pressure medication for most of my pregnancy. The pregnancy itself went well. My issues had nothing to do with age or weight (allergies & 24 weeks of morning sickness :-)) Under the care of a doctor, age & weight should not be a concern. Good Luck!

I have 2 friends who got pregnant at 39 and 40 that were severely overweight but no diabetes. They had perfectly healthy pregnancies. Now their daughters are 4 & 5 and doing great. Just talk to your doctor and get her input on if it is a good idea. You have to know your body.

H.

Hi E.. I am an older mom - first baby at 36 and 2nd baby at 40. My pregnancies were fine, and my babies are healthy. There was an extra ultrasound with my 2nd baby due to my "advanced maternal age". The doctors talk more about Downs Syndrome and different tests you can take in your first tri-mester to find out. We passed on those tests, as it didn't matter to us.

I realize I will be just shy of 60 when the baby goes off to college. I'm fine with that, as my parents are active people themselves and have been healthy.

I've been struggling with my weight for the past 20 years. I think I've finally nailed it. I've been extremely focused on taking care of myself, so that I can take care of my babies. I feel the best I've felt in years as I finally have my weight under control and have changed my eating habits (forever). I have lots of energy to run after the girls.

I do not have diabetes, but recommend talking with both your Oby/Gyn and your Endocrinologist.

One thing I've heard - young parents have the energy, older parents have the patience =)

Best of luck.

Hi my husband and I had our 1st when I was 39. After having my first I did not lose the 30 pounds from my pregnancy til about 6 months ago. We started trying again for our 2nd & BINGO I'm pregnant at age 42. I started taking geritol, vitamin C, beta-carotene & folic acid. I used this recipe when I tried getting pregnant with my 1st child also. Hope this helps.

Hi E.,
My sister asked me when she married for the 3rd time (keeper! great guy now 20 yrs later!!!) what I thought about having a baby at 39 because I had my first at 35 and second at 39 1/5. She already had a 13 yr old son. I said don't think about having a baby at 39, think of having a toddler at 42. She thought that was fine and she was right. The diabetes would be my only hesitation if I were you.
Good luck!
Mama S.

Go for it as long as it is ok with your doctor and you.

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