Getting My Son to Sleep in His Crib!

This is always tough. It truly is a test of wills and when you're tired and needing rest, it's hard to fight the battle. However, it is a battle you will win but you must be consistent and willing to lose some sleep.

You can offer up a special night shirt of yours that you have worn. It'll smell like you and make your child feel like he is with you. Whatever you choose, you just need to be consistent.

Our son used to climb out of his crib when he was a year old and so we put a tent crib on it (Sold at Right Start or on-line). We did this more for his safety than anything else since we did not want him falling out.

I worried about it but then I learned that alot of other moms did the same. Again, this was not so much to keep him in as it was to save him from hurting himself during those 1 am hurdles.

My suggestion is take turns with your husband being the one to walk him back to his room. He gets one night,you get the other so that neither of you are zombies.

I saw an episode on the super nanny where the 1st few times the parent walks the child in, tucks them in, gives them a kiss and leaves. After the 3rd time (and there were maybe hours of this), they just stop talking and would just walk the child back in. Whatever tantrums the child had, they did not give in and eventually after many long nights and about a week of it, the battle was over. The parents won!

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I know for my son. I would play some soft music and lay down with him and when he would fall a sleep, then I would place him in his bed and everytime he would get up I would do it again..and it worked for me...good luck....I hope this help!

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe it is time to move to a toddler bed, or a mattress on the floor. Then you or your hubby can lay down with him and read, he can fall asleep and you can return to your bed. Happy Zzzz!

C.
This happened to me with my first child - a girl - at approximately the same age.
She screamed hysterically for 2 weeks all night and then slept most of the day. I was frantic and my husband was more frantic. I refused to let her sleep with us. Finally, I went to the pediatrician and he gave her a mild sleeping pill - something that I swore I would never do!!
Anyway, after about 1 week we were all sleeping at night; the medication was no longer necessary; and she was sleeping in her crib.
At this point, I suggest that you move him to his crib after he is asleep and see what happens.
S.

A book called The No Cry Sleep Solution.

Have you tried a big kid bed? When my second son was about 20 months he did the same thing (refused to sleep in his crib). He wanted a big bed like his older brother. Once we put the big bed up we never had a problem.

Is it worth it to traumatize your son just because you are a "firm believer" in something? Consider re-examining your belief. Flexibility is essential to good parenting.

I have 2 boys (2 and 4 years old). They both have been through sleep cycles from crib sleeping with no problem to sleeping with us. Our 2 year old starts off sleeping with us or in our bed, and when he is sound asleep, we move him to his crib. You might try this. At least that way you can all get some sleep. Once he wakes up in his crib, he might start sleeping in it just fine. They all go through stages and being patient with them and ourselves is most important. Good luck.

Hi. My daughter stopped sleeping in a crib at 15 months. You should get your son a toddler bed. It uses the same mattress as your crib and he will feel like a big boy.

If it works for everyone, why change? If it is not working for you or your husband, get a bed and put it right next to yours. Then slowly move it back to his room. Give him a special treat or a sticker every night he stays in his own bed - bad dreams don't count against him! Good luck and I hope you find what works for you!

Hi!

My son slept in his crib untill he was 6 months old. When my husband and I started traveling he was sleeping in the our bed while staying at the hotel. He did not want it any other way! When he turned 1 year old and after being kicked and having his head smashing into ours in the middle of the night I have had it! I loved having our son in our bed but it was getting little rough. I started putting him in his own bed but not letting him cry it out till he fell a sleep, it is not good for them. It took my son 3 months of constantly waking up in the middle of the night wanting to sleep with us. I would only give in around the time when my husband and I finally went to bed, after midnight. One day he just realized that it's not so bad sleeping in his own bed! To this day I lay next to his crib untill he falls asleep. He just graduated from not having to hold my hand to fall asleep. We still bring him to our bed around 6 in the morning because we like to cuddle. It's all about the little steps. They can be hard and frustrating at times but our kids are so worth it!
At your son's age he is also starting to test how far he can go with you. I don't see anything wrong with children sleeping with their parents. It's all about if you are happy!

Dear C.,

Well, it is heart rending to hear them cry, but try this.

Remembering that you need to repeat and repeat to get someone to really truly believe that you mean what you say. I know that it is irritating to have to do or to listen to, but if it is as serious as this problem is, then just do it.

First of all - he is old enough to talk to, maybe he will not understand everything, but he is accustomed to you and will listen. Get him in the part of the day when he is in a happy mood, and sit and read him a story or do something pleasant with him. Then tell him that you have to talk to him about something important, that he has to learn to sleep in his crib like a big boy. Then tell him what you will do each evening before he goes to bed. Like bath, warm milk, story with Dad ! now that would be nice. a quiet song or two in his room sitting in a rocker or chair. Then say that when it is time for him to go to bed in the crib that you will cover him up warm and snuggley with a favorite toy, and pay him on the back for a song or two and then it will be time for you to go to do your mommy work. Leaving the door open a bit or a small light on or maybe a very quiet song on the radio. You know what to do. Then say, remember after you go to sleep Dad and I come in to see you and take care of you while you are asleep. Then later in the day tell him again - then remind him before dinner that such and such is his getting ready for bed time.

Let him make some choices, so that he will be involved too. He may have to cry some, just come into his room and quietly put your finger up to your mouth, and no talking or fussing or anything. kisses and pats and songs only. Then he may have to cry for a while. But do not give in one tinky binky bit, or you will have hell to pay for a loooooong time. Good Luck, C. N.

So I use to have the same problem. I has the same problem! I also have a daughter and a son. My daughter is going to be six and my son is going to be 4. But when they were younger and my daughter was in a toddler bed and my son got old enough to under stand that was a big girl bed... he no longer wanted to be in a crib as well. So we took that chance and bought him a toddler bed and told him if he wanted to sleep in it like his sister does then he need to potty like a big boy also. It worked!!! we got him potty trained and in a toddler bed. We bought a bed set I know he would love and we made such a big deal about being a big boy and how cool his bed was. It all worked! We have also has times where he didn't want to sleep in his bed... and this was over time and what we did was i would take him back to his bed and lay down with him and tell him a story that was made up and let him fall back to sleep and then i would go to my bed. I would think that your son is just wanting to be a big boy like his older sister is a big girl. Let me know how it works. Good luck!

I am not sure why you are fighting this - he seems to need the connection and everyone sleeps better, so why not? Once he is asleep, can he be moved to his crib? Will a hot water bottle wrapped in a towel (or sheepskin) in the crib make him feel more secure when he is moved?

Every child is different, and some really need connection, but I am a firm advocate for the family bed, so I am biased. Good luck!

We had two boys each in their own rooms and their own cribs... then we went on a trip where the baby got his own room/crib but the toddler was on a pad on the floor of the guestroom we were sleeping in. When we returned home every bedtime was a battle and for the first time in his life requests to sleep in our bed. After about a week of this we figured out he missed having other people in the room where he slept so we let him choose between a "big boy bed" in the baby's room or the crib in his room... the boys have been sharing a room ever since and the drama has ceased. Hope this helps!
Stef:)
MaMa to Nico (12mos) and I. (3.5yrs)

That can be a hard cycle to break, but when my daughter was at that age, the only tactic that worked was to put her down at bedtime and let her cry, even though she would cry till about 4 in the morning, (the first night is always the worst) the main thing is to keep in mind that even at that age your child is learning that the crying behavior will get you to come and take him into your bed and he needs to learn where he is suppossed to sleep. Now like i said the first night is the worst, but by the second night, my daughter only cried for a few hours, and by the third night she was sound asleep and so was I! This also worked for a friend of mine, even though i think her child took a little longer, but i promise it works! The hardest part for you will to be patient while your child is crying and Don't give in! Hope it works out for you!

I had this problem with my son who happened to have several sleep disorders and we did several things. We would let him fall asleep in our bed and then move him when we went to bed. If we went to bed at the same time, we'd move him after a couple of hours. I always put a shirt that I had previously worn on his pillow as it smelled like me and helped him stay in bed. If he woke up, we would try to get him back to sleep in his crib, sometimes I'd sleep in a sleeping bag on his floor. If that didn't work, he'd go into our bed and then we'd put him back in his bed. I would also give him one of my pillows since by that age they can handle a pillow in their crib. When we wanted him out of our bed completely, I put a sleeping bag on the floor in his room and I would sleep there as long as he was calm in his crib. I also had him in a big boy bed by the time he was 2 years old and this actually seemed to help. He could come into my bed but I didn't have to get up to get him from his crib and I didn't worry about him breaking a leg when he jumped out of his crib. Good luck!

Hi C. E, my kids are grown up now but I had the same problem with one of my sons. Basically you have to show him who's the boss and put him in his crib and just let him cry. He might cry for awhile but you have to learn to tune him out, he'll eventually go to sleep. After a couple days he'll realize that you aren't coming to get him and he'll give up, it's you that has to be the stronger one. If you keep giving in, your relationship with your husband is at risk and it's not healthy for any of you. Good luck and take charge, those little guys are really smart and know how to manipulate you, they learn early that they are the boss, so they think. Yvonne

Have you thought that he may think he is to big for a crib with my last child she is now 3 at 18 months we moved her to a todler bed. She loved it and would go to sleep much better she was not want ing to sleep in her crib, so we gave her a new bed for christmass, alond with new bedding in fact it was a dora, but it worked she was happy and it was her big girl bed. Im a mother of 6 and every child is different. They each have there way of doing things and pace of growing up, think about trying this talk to him about how big he is now ect. Even if you have to start with the bed in your room we didnt we put it strait into hers, the first couple nights she walked out of the room into the living room we just tucked her back in and she stopped that within the first week.

I think it might be time to put your son in a big boy bed.

Consistancy!!! My son cried 45 mins the fierst day!!!
25 mins the second day....20 mins the third day....15 min the forth by the end of the week he would just go to sleep on his own, now he wants to be putt in his crib every night...once it is 7:30 to 8:00pm...but remember you must always put him in his crib at the same time every day....7:30 or 8:00 is a great time and close the door, do not open it till he is sleeping deeply!!! Love, G.. :0)

Hi C.... As a mother of two great kids 16 and 21 now, I never really had this problem. I am, however, going to give you some suggestions that might help. Bedtime should always be at a certain time, a routine, and one that is like any other routine like breakfast. Make it a good positive experience. I or my husband used to read to our children for a half hour in THEIR bed. Sometimes we just went in there to settle in for the night and talked about things, the day, a person, a pet. A favorite stuffed animal toy, or blankie, or "comfort" companion can be apart of the equation. As my children got older, they were allowed to read on their own for a half an hour. Bedtime was always at the same time, except on weekends (Friday & Sat.) and summertime it got adjusted to an hour later. I found that the times we talked were the best times. It was a relaxed atmosphere and they were more open to sharing their thoughts. When a child is comforted and safe, they sleep better. They want and need boundaries. May I suggest that you get your son into a child bed (A "big boy" bed). He may be feeling a little confined to his crib and that may be causing his anxiety. I hope I have helped somewhat. It does take persistance and well as dicipline on YOUR part to get this routine developed. Good luck to you. T. C.

Hi C.,

I had this same thing happen to me when my son was 20 months. He slept fine in his crib and then finally decided he wasn't going to do it anymore. Every night he would scream and cry. Putting him in his own big boy bed was the answer to our problem. He no longer felt confined. He went straight into a twin bed with a guard up so that he would not fall off the bed. He was so excited to have his own bed. We had some issues with him wanting to get out of bed, and every night I would hear the pitter patter of his feet running into our room and climbing onto our bed. I would just tell him to get back into his bed and he run over and get back in...sometimes we'd go through this a couple of times a night and eventually he would stay. I do have to admit it wasn't always easy, sometimes there was crying, but nothing like the tantrums he through when he decided he didn't want to be in a crib any longer. To keep him in his room you can leave the door open to his room and put a baby gate in the doorway.
Hope this helps.

C.,

I so feel for you...we've been around that block. We took the anti-crib behavior as it was time for a big boy bed OF HIS OWN (as in get out of ours kid, we need our sleep). I'll admit it was a rough transition and we even resorted to putting a baby gate up on his door and let him cry for hours (I know that sounds bad, but we were desperate for sleep!). My husband rationalized it as the gate was a metaphor for the crib that he's been sleeping in, now it's the size of his room. After about 2 weeks of desperate crying, our son loves his big boy bed (it's a twin) and and his new room (with the transition I decorated his room in dinosaurs) and can sleep all the way through the night on his own. It wasn't pretty, but we eventually got there. Good luck.
- J.
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J. Hibbits
Arbonne Consultant
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