Getting My 6 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night

Oh Honey! I have been there - husband slept on the sofa because of the baby for 7 months. I agree w/ everything Elizabeth S. said except I didn't read that particular book.
My son was nursing every 90 minutes 24-7 plus eating some baby foods like rice cereal. He was a slightly preemie baby so I really coddled him and was terrified of starving him so I fed him all the time. So, he figured out it was o.k. to just eat a little bit at a time because there was another meal coming up soon! Babies are very smart! We DID have him sleeping in his own crib in our bedroom and he had been taking his naps in there by himself with out a problem. We lived in a noisy apartment building so I bought a little air purifier to mask over the traffic noise & neighbors with a white noise. I highly reccomend getting one and getting him used to it, so when he does move out the sound will go with him and he won't notice that he can't hear you breathing. When we moved to a 2 bedroom he slept through the night in his new room with no problems I think because of the white noise.
That's Step #1...
#2 - Next, get him to nap in his crib if he doesn't already.
#3 - If he doesn't have a snuggly security item to sleep with - introduce one now. My son has a little beanie baby bear that I put a little breast milk on and slept with tucked in my sports bra for 2 days so it would smell like me. He STILL loves that thing and won't sleep without it at almost 4 yrs. old. The pedi advice nurse suggested it - I thought it was corny but gave it a shot and it was a huge hit. We never needed a pacifier!
#4 - now comes the tough part... get a bottle of wine, set it out where you can see it and put Baby to bed at night after his usual bedtime routine in his crib! Brace yourself for crying. There are a few methods I tried that will work on any kid but mine - the Ferber Method and the Sleep Lady. I tried both and neither worked because whenever I went in to check on my son he would SCREAM even LOUDER - so the intervals of letting him cry then going in to comfort him actually made things get worse. SO, I turned on a light to see him and saw RAGE on my baby's face. He wasn't feeling abandoned or frightened, HE WAS MAD AS HELL THAT HE WASN'T GETTING HIS WAY! This little epiphany was my turning point. I changed his diaper - just in case, wiped his tears, gave him a hug and his baby bear and put him back to bed. I went into the kitchen and my hubby poured me a glass of wine and said "look on the bright side, he'll have really clean eyes from all of those tears!"
Anyway - he screamed for 90 minutes and then fell asleep and SLEPT ALL NIGHT UNTIL 6am!!! The next night he screamed for 40 minutes and then gave up and the last night he cried for 15 minutes and then apparently got bored and went to sleep. Yippee!!!!

According to my Pediatrician I should have been putting him to bed awake & letting him doze off on his own at the 1 month mark - I always nursed him to sleep - huge mistake. SO, my son didn't know how to fall asleep on his own - which is a very important life skill to master and the only way to teach him at 7 months is to let him tire himself out. Also, once he slept all night he ate a lot more for breakfast and dinner instead of just nibbling and finally started to get a little chubby.

And we all lived happily ever after!!

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I can relate. When my son was 6 months old we were in the exact same boat. He was nursing all night long and the intervals were getting shorter (like, every two hours going to every hour!). At that age they can sleep all night and there is no nutritional reason why they need to nurse constantly. You didn't say whether you wanted to move your daughter to her own bed, while still continuing to nurse during the daytime, though -- which is an important question. I loved sleeping next to my cuddly little boy but cutting off the all-night dairy bar was impossible until I moved him to his own bed.

Presuming you want to continue nursing her, I would start by placing her in her crib for naps. Yes, there is going to be crying; it's unavoidable unless you have the world's most compliant baby. I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth -- that's what got me through. Once she's used to the crib (give it a few days), then you're going to put her in at night. Somewhere between the naptime crib and the bedtime crib is the ugly part. But it passes quickly; she is probably as ready as you are to get a full night's sleep (at least my son was). I was dreading it but finally was so exhausted I couldn't take another night and just put him down in his crib (after a week of putting him, screaming, in his crib for naps). He rolled over and went to sleep at 7:30; woke up 12 hours later. We were in shock. So there was one ugly week of a screaming, exhausted baby, but ever since he's been a great sleeper.

I don't want to sound like an evangelist for HSH,HC but that book saved my sanity. I feel like a mom's body is programmed to do the sleepless nights for a while, but there's only so long you can sustain that before you start to go loopy. You can do it! Wishing you a full night's sleep soon. It will change your life -- believe me, I've been where you are and lived to tell about it.

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I also loved Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Some reviews focus on the fact that, yes, he says the quickest way to extinguish a behavior is by 'cry it out' - basically that if you don't reinforce a behavior at all, they will stop doing it. It did work for our son. He was waking up about 1am and I kept going in, putting his pacifier in, turning on his mobile and it was crazy. He didn't really need anything, it was just a habit. I let him cry one night (which was the longest hour of my life) and he didn't do it again - now sleeps through from 6:30 until 5-6am. And I thought cry it out was the most horrible thing ever until I had to deal with random night waking...

Psychologically speaking, sometimes reinforcing will prolong a behavior, which is why slot machines, for example, are so addictive. So if you sometimes let them cry and sometimes go in straightaway then this is going to draw it all out. He also suggests 'check and console' so you soothe with the minimum interaction. I do that in the day.

But really HSC,HC's main points are a) that good sleep begets good sleep and that means throughout the day and b) that by recognizing your child's tired signs and putting them to bed then, you can avoid them crying altogether. So that might be a good starting place - when she is just starting to look tired, try putting her down in her crib. Maybe put something in that smells like you, too. If she has a lovey that is also really helpful. Our son has a toy that is his sleep toy and he cuddles and chews on it in bed. It helps when he needs to sleep somewhere else.

Hope that helps a bit! It was longer than I meant!

E.

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I have a 3 month old that has been sleeping in his crib for a few weeks now. We have a musical mobile, which we turn on, that plays only for 15 minutes. My husband bought a small portable pair of Sony speakers (that plug into our small RCA MP3 player we got at Longs) and we play music through that. We loaded the MP3 with classical music and we play it while the mobile is going. That way when the mobile stops, the other classical music is playing and it goes for a couple of hours. We live in high altitude so we also have a humidifier in his room, which not only helps him, but helps with being "white noise" which babies like to hear and it helps drown out any other outside noises that could wake him up. Sometimes he fusses for a bit, or "talks" for a bit, but it's been a long time since he cried a bunch when being put down. We also put him down for naps in there during the day, and that helped get him used to his bed. Good luck!!! J.

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Hi J.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms and how/when they evolve/mature. Dr. Weissbluth is VERY experienced with sleep issues. Google him for his credentials. You didn't say what your daughter's sleep schedule is right now but I'll tell you what my daughter's was at this age. Wake up at 6:30-7am, morning nap at 9am, afternoon nap around 1pm and bedtime around 6-6:30pm. Dr. Weissbluth also recommends eliminating the night time feeding by 9 months. Now is the time to teach your daughter how to fall asleep on her own. I wasn't a big fan of the cry it out method either, and while Dr. Weissbluth states that it is the fastest way to achieve results it isn't the only method he suggests. I used the modified cry it out which meant that I waited 5-10 mins before responding the first time, 10-15 mins before responding the second time and so on until she fell asleep. When I would respond I tried to soothe her without picking her up. Establish a bedtime routine that is calm and quiet, darkening the rooms to give her cues that it is bedtime. Make your naptime routine a shortened version of the bedtime routine. If you are getting her to bed BEFORE she is overtired there shouldn't be much fuss. "Sleep begets sleep" says Dr. Weissbluth and I have found it to be true. I co-slept and nursed for the first few months until I realized my hubby's snoring and sleep talking were disturbing Paige and my milk supply dwindled. At that point I moved her into her own bedroom and she slept through the night the very first night! If you want more tips on Dr. Weissbluth methods, email me. I too L. being a mom and enjoy it even more when we are all well rested.
Sincerely,
L.

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oh my gosh...i LOVED the baby whisperer books. my husband and i both agreed that we would not let our son "cry it out." baby whisperer helps you re-train your child, helps you recognize what it is you might be doing to make things more difficult for you and your baby and the baby will not have to "cry it out." it wasn't all easy though, some of the techniques we tried were deffinately challenging for us, you have to commit to the idea and follow through all the way. BUT, they worked and we have a lovely boy sleeping happily in his own bed through the night and we (my husband and i) are happily sleeping in our bed through the night!!! yeahoo! makes life so much better! i still refer to her books now and again and our son is almost three. the author has a gentle, but firm approach and has many strategies to help many problems, not just sleeping. another sleeping book that helped me understand the process of sleep for our baby was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." it was refered to me by a lactation specialist who helped us in the beginning. she was very holistic and deffinately not for "crying it out" either. it too was very helpful. hope this helps...and hang in there, i remember those difficult nights. it does get better, but make the changes now before it is harder to deal with later!

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Well, I am not sure a lot of people would like this advice but, I have four kids and they all are fine today (the youngest is 9yr. old)---lol What I did was give them a nice warm, soothing bath before her last feeding of the night and I know you said you were nursing but, not sure if you ever pump and give it to her in a bottle, but, if you do, warm it up and add some baby ceral (rice or whatever those ones in the box are---- it's been a long time I kind of forgotten), cut the nipple a little to allow the thickness of the bottle so she can still eat and she should sleep like a rock:) Just a suggestion, it's always "mothers instinct" but, thought I'd let you know what I did.

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Hi J.,

We were in your exact situation. We co-slept and nursed through the night from the beginning so the transition to the crib has been gradual. My husband was tired of the baby-in-the-bed thing by 3 months, so at that time I started swaddling our son in the Miracle Blanket and laying him in a co-sleeper in our room, and he would sleep about 4 hours that way. Swaddling was really key for us. When he had outgrown the swaddling blankets I would wrap him from the waist down in a large, thin baby blanket. It helped him know it was sleepy time and kept him from waking himself up. Always I would rock and nurse him to sleep to a lullaby CD, then when he was in a deep sleep, gently lay him down. Routine is the big key! I know it's a big SIDS no-no, but one thing that really helped was giving him a pillow to sleep on. It was memory foam and it seemed to cradle his head and help him feel secure without creating a suffocation hazard. He moved to his crib at around 6 months and with the routine I described, he would sleep 4-5 hours at a stretch which was enough to make me feel human again. I've never believed in crying it out, so when he'd wake up in the middle of the night I'd usually bring him to back to bed with us. The first time he spontaneously slept through the night was at 7 months. Since then he has gone through spurts of sleeping through the night. If he gets a cold, is teething, we're traveling, or he's hitting new milestones, we're back to 4-5 hours at a time. He's now 13 months old and is making it through the night more frequently. I don't have to wrap him in a blanket anymore, something we gradually stopped doing as the weather got warmer, and he doesn't need his pillow anymore either. We rock and nurse to sleep with his lullabies and I lay him in his crib. It has been gradual, and he's doing it when he's ready, which I think is better for him in the longrun than trying to force him to do it. I think we'd both end up frustrated and even more tired! Good luck to you and sweet dreams!

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We also LOVED the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. It's similar to Babywise but so much nicer and more explanatory. I don't have time to go into all of it right now, but it involves having your baby on a sleeping and feeding schedule during the day, then feeding the baby just before bed and again around 10 pm for a "dream feed" where you feed the baby without actually waking her. Both of my kids were sleeping through the night at 3 months.
Good luck whatever you choose/try,
C.

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Check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (I think). She has some very good advice for sleep training in an attachment parenting style.
Good luck.

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I have raised three boys so far and each of them slept in my bed. The first now 8 didn't "move out" until he was almost four. the second like to sleep with his brother and he "moved out" at 18 mos. I have a one year old he is sleeping with us now. Your problem about getting sleep is not the baby in your bed it's probably your bed. It was most uncomfortable for me in a queen. half way through my first boy I had a California
king given to me and it made a world of difference. I eventually wound up back in a queen. But I'm wishing I had my King back. I am finding myself restless and not getting much sleep at night again. I know for me it's the bed size. The other thing I tried is (room permitting) put a twin bed next to your bed the baby can sleep on that bed as if she is with you and you are still free to "toll over and nurse" her then when she's back to sleep roll back into your bed. This also work for me when I had two youngsters together.
K.

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Think of using a bassinet where the baby can be close to you for a while, feed during the night if necessary. You can also rock the bassinet, and sing to the baby before trying to pick him/her up.

We loved to swaddle the babies (as long as we could before they moved/slipped out of it) since this will lead them to sleep much longer. If you're not sure, have a nurse or experienced parent show you how to swaddle the baby up tightly. It really helps get some z's!!!

When it's time, start using the crib for naps, then for nighttime. Consider going in, rubbing the baby's tummy or forehead while singing before always picking the baby up immediately. You can try rocking/soothing/singing. Nursing intervals should be less and less leading up to 9 or 10 mos.

When they are young, I liked being able to roll over and nurse, but eventually, they need to be in their own beds.

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I think I would try putting her in the crib for daytime naps at first with you standing by to pat her back to help soothe her. After she gets used to that, try it at night. It will not be an easy transition - you might want to get one of those things that sounds like a heartbeat to help her with the transition. I would think that if she's used to nursing throughout the night, she will still wake up and want to nurse so I'm not sure how much more sleep you will really get by just moving her to another room. Good luck!

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Hi J.,
Just wanted to write a note to counteract the ones you may get telling you it is wrong to sleep with your baby or nurse during the night. It looks like you haven't gotten as many as I did so far, perhaps because my daughter was a little older when I posted a similar question. Anyway I am living proof that you do NOT need to let your baby cry it out to eventually sleep through the night. The process will take longer but you and your baby won't have to go through the trauma. The most important thing, I found, is to not nurse your baby all the way to sleep but remove the nipple while she is still drowsy but awake. You can give them a pacifier but allow them to soothe themself to sleep, otherwise when they wake in the night they think the only way to get back to sleep is by nursing. I moved my daughter into her crib around 6 mos. and when she cries I nurse her in a chair in her room (a little more effort but it immediately cut the night wakings in half). She has gradually gotten better at self soothing at now, at 13 mos. she only wakes once in the early morning or sometimes not at all. I believe in trusting one's intuition to care for you baby, not a book or other person's opinion, and above all trust that with patience the tough times will be sweet memories.

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I too don't believe in letting the child cry it out either because they could be in pain. They could also be too hot/cold or just can't fall asleep yet like some of us adults.

My first child co-slept (like native americans did in their teepees) with me because I was just too lazy to go back and forth from rocking her in a rocking chair and to my bed. No mom has ever been reported to roll over their baby...only dads. With my second, I went straight to rocking from the start. Both worked, but the latter was easier in the long run.

I read almost all the books on sleeping, but if you had to read one book out there, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" would be it.

If you don't have time to read even a single book, then here's what I did to wean my first from my bed and what I did with my second from the get-go...

After a bath and storytime (i.e. it winds them down), I'd dim the lights down low and rock her in a rocking chair...for up to 3-4 hours if she's pain from indigestion, illness, etc... But, it usually takes no more than 1 hour and then I transfer her slowly into her crib.

1 hour is approximately how much time parents takes to read a story over and over again to their child until he/she falls asleep anyway (i.e. the proper loving bedtime routine which I have no patience for, but you see it on TV all the time).

Babies mimic our breathing, so our breathing slowly/deeply help them sleep faster. Depending on the child, adding music or your voice/singing to the rocking can help sooth her as well. It works, but again, I don't have the patience for singing that long.

Some people will tell you to use a portable swing and then do the transfer into the crib, but you wouldn't be as sensitive (i.e. learn to gauge) to your child's types of discomforts (e.g. too hot/cold, indigestion, fever, etc...)...especially as they get older and start pointing to their source of pain. This also helps tremendously with mom/child building their trust/communication. So, I opted against it myself.

Extra food throughout the day helps prevent the baby from waking up in the middle of the night. But it the baby does wake up, the best trick is to do everything under a nightlight and do everything as fast as humanly possible. Anymore lighting and it wakes them up completely. Being up too long also wakes them up completely. So, I diapered and fed/rocked at "the speed of light." : )

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Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth is EXCELLENT! I follow this pediatrician's advice and it completely worked after a week. I let my daughter (now 15 mos) CIO at 4 mos and she's a great sleeper. Soothing oneself to sleep is a skill babies learn, similiar to sitting, walking, etc. Babies need the opportunity to figure it out for themselves. Create a consistent bedtime routine and you're little one will get it sooner than you think!

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We co-slept with my daughter for many months but I didn't get much sleep & it was really impacting my ability to function during the day. I also did not want to let my baby CIO & so I found the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It was very helpful & we were able to slowly get our girl to sleep in her own crib (which actually she loves & sleeps more deeply than between us in our bed) & now sleeps through the night (& has since 8 months old--barring illness or teething). It's a slow progression that's needed so you both feel comfortable with the transition. I would try & see how she sleeps in the crib. She may not wake up as much if you're not right next to her (bec. she can smell the milk!). Slowly we were able to stop nursing/feeding her (her dad would wake up & give a bottle, so I could get some sleep) whenever she woke up by just rocking or bouncing her back to sleep. Then we worked on being able to pat her & shhh her w/out getting her out of the crib.

Suddenly (& it really did happen just like that), she was sleeping through the night! She is now 14 months old, sleeps from 8:30pm-7:30am & she has never had a night of crying. It can be done! And we didn't have to go through a few nights of agony, trying to stop ourselves from going in & consoling our screaming baby. Who needs that kind of stress?

We also have found that the Sleep Sheep white noise machine is helpful (our daughter likes the rain sounds)--it seems to signal to her that it's time to sleep. Good luck!

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Hi! That is around the time I started putting my son in his crib. I did the same thing you are with sleeping with him and nursung during.the night. What I did was I would put my son to sleep in his crib for his naps and then after a little while of that I started also putting him in his crib right after his bath in the evening and he would sleep there for a few hours before I came to bed. Then when he would wake up, say around 11 or 12, I would pt him in bed with me and nurse him and he would sleep the rest of the night with me. Well once he started getting old enough not to need to nurse at night, I would just keep him in his crib all night and eventually at 8 months he was in his crib and sleeping through the night. So give it a try and let me know how it goes, good luck!

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Dear J.,
First let me say that you should never let the baby sleep in your bed. Not only is there the risk of rolling over on the baby, but it will be very hard to get your child to sleep in their own bed now. As for the sleeping all night your baby does not get enough nurishment to hold her over all night, maybe try a little cereal before bed time. It is ok to feed your baby more than breast milk at this age.
Tami Grandmother of 1 6month old and mother of 3 grown children.

Hi,
Our son slept with us till he was 4 1/2 months old, nursing every 2-3 hours. I was exhausted, so at 4 1/2 months, my husband would transfer him into the co-sleeper next to our bed after he fell asleep at the breast- the baby would wake if I tried to do the transfer, so husband participation is crucial. It totally worked! The baby would sleep till the morning mostly. If he woke up, I'd nurse him in the bed and then my husband would transfer him again...
At 6 months we switched to a Pak N Play next to our bed and continued the same routine till the baby was a year and we moved him into his own room/crib:)
Good luck,
-W.