Getting My 3-Month Old to Sleep Without the Help of a Bottle?

Updated on February 03, 2007
M.M. asks from Ludington, MI
8 answers

My 3 month old son has relied on falling asleep with a bottle in his mouth and my husband and I have let him because we need/want our sleep and he refuses any pacifier and will scream if I just try rocking him to sleep. We've tried putting him in a swing or his bouncy seat, but he doesn't like either for sleeping. We've tried walking with him and rocking him and unless we do either for an hour and forcibly hold a pacifier in his mouth it doesn't seem to work. We've tried the Nuk, Mam, and Soothie pacifiers and he hates them all, spits them out and makes this annoyed face. I'm tired and feel extremely guilty letting my son fall asleep with a propped bottle, not to mention that it's not all that safe. Plus, because he's falling asleep with a propped bottle he's still sleeping in a bassinet in our room. I would be extremely grateful if anyone had any fresh ideas for me.

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So What Happened?

We bought the playtex binky pacifiers and he takes it. We're giving him a bottle and rocking him until he's had his fill and then replacing it with his new pacifier and putting him down when he's passed out. He still wakes up when he loses his pacifier, but that's only a couple times. Thanks everyone!

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H.L.

answers from Charleston on

I had the same problem with my son. He wanted to suck but would not take a pacifer. We tried and tried to get him to take one because he just wanted to suck he didn't even really want the bottle. Then I found a pacifer that he would take and it stopped that. It is a playtex pacifer they are just like a bottle nipple and it was the only one that he would take. So maybe try that it workrd for my son. I mean he still wants his bottle before bed but the pacifer took the place of the bottle well enough for him to be happy. GOOD LUCK

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

I see nothing wrong with the baby in the bassinet in your room but propping the bottle is not something I would do. I really know it is hard. You feel like losing it sometimes.. I think rocking him to fall asleep will work, just stick to it. Hold the bottle and when it is gone, just keep rocking him. He will fall asleep and I don't think it is a bad habit. I think it is a good time to bond and let him know you are there for him. I rocked my daughter till 10 or 11 months. Then at that time she acted as if she didn't want to rock anymore, so I put her in her crib and she just went to sleep. I was amazed. No crying, No bottle and still no sippy cup, except water. (Sometime ago she started waking up in the middle of the night, I couldn't figure out why, then I realized she might be thrusty. And yup that is what it was. SO I give her water in a cup and she finds it when she wants it, no crying, nothing.)
I know, everyone has something different to say or what they think is right and wrong. But you have to do what is best for you BUT safe for him. SO good luck, it will get better!

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J.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

The Most important thing is to be patient, if the baby picks up on your being stressed about this they feel it, things will settle down over time, don't give up you will find somthing that works, I know babys are all diffrent but can you remember any thing that worked well with your daughter? try the nuk with a little of the babies formula he might not like the taste of the nuk. I use to sing and hum to my son to get him to sleep , it would put him out , after he turned 2 yrs old he got wise to this and would cover my mouth with his hand and tell me no mommy! because he knew it would make him sleepy.

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K.R.

answers from Detroit on

Any way you look at it, it's going to be stressful for you and your husband. Just try to stay calm and firm about not giving a bottle in bed. Classical music really helped my son, and admittedly, We had/have to hold or rock him for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour... but he no longer shrieks until he gets a bottle at bedtime.

It took us about 2 weeks to break him of that habit, but it's worth it in the end. The cavity problems that can form from it alone are worth trying to avoid. Just put on some music, feed him about 25-30 minutes before bedtime, maybe adding in some rice cereal to that bottle, and sing, rock etc until he's calm enough to fall asleep.

While it's fine to let him "Cry it out" on occassion.. that method has fallen out of favor with a lot of Pediatricians. They now feel it leads to the children feeling isolated emotionally... and 3 months is too young to try that method anyway, it was only reccommended for children 8 months and up. Right now Crying is your childs -only- way of getting the message across that something is bothering him.

Things will get easier. Just keep in mind all the super funny antics he'll be getting into in a few years (and even a few months!) and smile that right now, at least, you have a break from trying to keep his hands out of the dogs mouth/vcr/mail slot/NaNa's bag of goodies etc.

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C.L.

answers from Saginaw on

Com'mon now, 12 weeks old is too small to be forced to put themselves to sleep. Routines are what they need, not schedules. Play, Warm bath, go to their room, dim lights, classical lullaby type music bottle while rocking to sleep. Mine sleeps like a champ now and that how we started 2 years ago. He now puts himself to sleep because he is old enough to do it. You cannot put them in a crib at this age and have them "cry it out" You also once he falls asleep remove the bottle, I never put it in the crib with Evan and it isn't good to start. You have to remember, exhausted as you are that parenting does not stop at 8 pm when you throw them in bed and forget about them till next morning. Sounds more like crating a dog while you go to work? :)
Hopefully by 6 months he will be starting a rhythm or cycle of sleeping but the best you can do until then is routine routine routine.
http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/ is a good philosophy (for you and baby) Dr.Sears is also very good on the subject.
Bear with it, before you know it the days of cuddling and rocking will be long gone as they are off to find their own way. You can't spoil them this early so don't worry about giving them what they need to be secure. If they are crying at this age, you need to fix it. Have your hubby help more if need be or find someone to releave you so you can get a nap. I'd imagine with 2 very little ones you are exhausted.
C.
If he doesn't like paci-that's one less thing you will have to break him of, let it go.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

M.,

I know it is a hard thing to do but have you tried to just let him cry it out. I have a three month old also and some nights she just won't go to sleep so I lay her down and just let her cry it out. If she's going for more then ten minutes I'll get her up and sooth her a little and try laying her down again. Sometime we give her a bath before bed with the Johnsons bath time bubble and that seams to calm her some too. If you keep letting him go to sleep with a bottle now it will become a real problem when he gets teeth. They say that falling asleep with a bottle will rot the teeth and cause problem for the gums.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

Baby's this young need help going to sleep. As they get older they will do it on thier own. Some baby's just need to cry themselves to sleep. My daughter(3 Months) always cries herself to sleep, we hold her and rock her and she just cries till she goes to sleep.I think that is her way of soothing herself or something. As far as having them in your room thats really up to you my daughter is almost 3 months and she's still in our room. I like to make sure they are ok while sleeping this young.My daughter never liked the pacifier. Also try giving him a bath just before bed time that always seems to make them sleepy. It's hard the first few months but it does get better. once they start learning how to soothe themselves to sleep.
L.

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N.L.

answers from Detroit on

Try this: Around 830 pm give the lil guy a warm bath, then feed him after he is finished put him in his crib. Do not get into the habit of catering to his habits. You will be sorry if you do. Let him cry once you put him to bed. He is not hurt, hungry, wet or poopy. Babies are very resilient. You are not neglecting him by allowing him to cry himself to sleep. He will eventually get tired. Once he is used to the routine he wont cry. Take my advice. I have 3 boys of my own. I made all of my mistakes with my first. I rocked him to sleep every night. By the time he was 11 months old he did not want to be rocked. I had to put him in his crib he screamed for a week every time I put him to bed. Finally it became a routine. He no longer cried. My younger two I had it down pat. Bathtime, bottle then bed right away. That way they had a routine and never cried.
I have a friend that felt guilty putting her firstborn in a crib. I tried telling her she was going to have HUGE probelms. She gave birth to her second 2 weeks ago. Her oldest was still in bed with her. Last night was the first night at 18 months that he has ever slept in his own bed. It gets harder as they get older.
I never believed in propping a bottle. What if the baby chokes? Now it would be different if he could hold it himself. Hope this was informative enough. Every baby has habits or should I say preferences. He will get used to it.

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