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Getting My 17 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night

Hi everyone, my 17 month old daughter has yet to sleep through the night. She is used to being rocked/held to fall asleep and this seems to be causing a problem for her because when she wakes up around 11pm, 1am, and/or 4am she is unable to go back to sleep unless held. As you can imagine this is very tiring for my husband and I. So what I was wondering is if anyone has any helpful ideas on how to get a 17 month old to sleep. I have tried the whole lettingher cry thing and as much as I know it will work she cried for 45 mins straight. Isn't that cruelity? I do not know what to do about this. My husband and I debate about maybe we are trying to live up to society and where/how they think a child should sleep or maybe we are being selfish because we can not spend the night out leaving her to keep someone else up. What to do?

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So What Happened?™

so I want to thank everyone for all their help and support. Getting my daughter to sleep through the night has been a very exhausting experience. Now granted I have been only trying this for two nights but my daughter is responding to it well. What i starting doing is putting her in her crib while she is awake. I stayed in the room with her, just placing my hand on her back (letting her know that I am there), after a hour and half Iwas able to leave the room. She woke up once that night for 2 hours. But I refused to pick her up and as long as she felt my hand on her back she did not cry. The next day I was able to put her in her crib at naptime wide awake and she feel asleep on her own. At night time she went in easy again but did wake up twice, however i went in laid her back down and she went to sleep no more then 5 mins each time did I spend in there. Hoping tonight will be even easier. I just could not hear her cry for mins on end. This for now is working and I will keep you all updated. Thank you again.

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Since she falls asleep with rocking, do this slowly. Start off the first night with her mostly alseep when you put her in the crib, but still awake. Then slowly increase the amount of awakeness she is. So by the time all is said and done she is wide awake going to bed. I also play music for my kids in their rooms when they go to sleep. It's very soothing and sets the tone. Now my kids are 4 and 1 and all I have to do is start the music and their right back to sleep.

J.,
Something you might want to try is when you are holding her and she is just about to sleep but not all the way- lay her down so she will learn to fall asleep on her own.. try to wean her from being almost asleep to being more awake and this will help her learn to put herself to sleep. if she wakes up when you put her down maybe try rubbing or patting on her and lessen that too as you go along.. Hope this helps.. i am a mom of 3 girls and I have been there..it seemed to work pretty well. Good Luck!!=)

Hello, It is not easy at all. I dealt with that by getting up and rubbing the back of my child. I also did go through the rocking for a very very long time. I had no idea what to do. I then found that my daughter just wasn't testing me she really had bad night terrors. so my advice isn't the best at all. I then started to co sleep and its been wonderful nights since she was 18 months old. Transitioning to her bed was not hard at all. My husband and I loved it and hated it but we all are great now.

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i do think its cruel. society in the united states has made us act as though are child falling asleep on their own is somehow related to the parents "teaching", when in fact, sleep is a natural biological function that all humans perform. i am an advocate of cosleeping and there are many scientific studies to show the benefits of cosleeping. there arent the same studies to show sleeping alone is beneficial in anyway. my 3 1/2 yr old and 6 month old coslept/cosleep and have never cried themselves to sleep, nor have they ever cried when awakened as they feel secure with us here. you dont have to have your child cry, it doesnt teach them to sleep, rather teaches them that when they cry no one responds. it makes them so exhausted they pass out. i do not define that as teaching.

with daughter number one, we coslept. we rocked her as a baby, then around 1, we laid in bed together and i left when she was asleep. at 2, when she had an understanding, i would put her in bed after a book, and leave the room telling her i would be right back. she would fall asleep while i was out. then at 3, in her own room, i just tell her goodnight and she goes to sleep after playing in her bed awhile. i would suggest to you to get away from the rocking, and instead lay next to her, as thats much less draining and less to miss, overall, an easier transition.
also, i would focus on making sure there are no reasons she wakes up. try a white noise machine to see if that works, and put a bottle of water in her crib.

i would like to point out that the crying methods that doctors have suggested like ferber(who i dont agree with but..) were not intended for a parent to leave their child to cry for 45+ mins and they were definately not intended to cause a child to vomit. these things are cruel. the doctors originally had a detailed plan intended for a parent to start with 5 mins, check on the baby, then 10, ect. the parent was to acknowledge the baby with back rubbing, ect. these books people refer to never said just leave a baby alone in a room one night to scream for an hour, but time and time again i read that. if i were to cry for 45 mins hysterically, you better believe that i would pass out. the only thing taught is that no one came. please read up on the negative effects of crying it out. seroton levels, trust issues, crying more, ect.

as for selfish, my grandmother passed away last year at 93. i choose to do things that may not be easiest on me, but i feel are the best for my children. in the big picture, if i sacrifice 3 years of my life to not allow my child to cry, i will have 90 years of "me" time. they are this young for such short time. good luck to you, i hope you can find a balance for everyone.

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Hi
I just want to encourage you and the fact that you question whether you should live up to societal standards. The fact is most children slept with or near their parents for thousands of years. It is common for some children to need more attention in order to sleep. Each is different.
My 1st born was just like your daughter. She did not sleep through the night until she was 3! She was rocked or held to sleep or I would simply lay next to her until she fell asleep. My second daughter loved sleeping by herself. She would fuss and let me know she was tired by rubbing her eyes and then we would put her down and she'd be out like a light (from day one). If we tried to hold her to sleep, she'd stay awake. My 3rd baby and son slept through the night practically from the beginning, he likes being held or being alone. And we are the same parents with the same techniques.

So though your daughter's style may be more draining, it is part of who she is. I definitely recommend reading The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears and Marth Sears R.N. It will give you such confidence about your instincts.
Best Wishes,
H.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh, gosh. My husband and I went back and forth on this too. I read several books and they are all different! Most are on the list below. Except for my favorite:

Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by Jodi A. Mindell

This type of research is great to do at your library...Free books!

One good thing is it is fast and easy to read 'cause who has time to read a 200pg book when you're this tired! Also the section that was most relevant to me was only about ten pages!

But most important is that you do what feels right for you and your spouse. Anything you do you need to do consistantly for several days. Don't give up, it will happen. You might consider encoraging a lovely (my son loves his boppy) or give her a tee-shirt you've worn (it'll smell like you)

Do you have a bedtime routine that you do the same each night? This helped us too. And made some consistancy between Mommy night-night and Daddy night-night. When we read "Tumble Bumble" and "Good Night Moon" he gets into sleepy mode.

Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.,

I'm going through the same thing. We tried the letting her cry it out and she cried so hard she made herself throw up!!! Not once but twice.

The last couple of days I've been reading to her 3 stories and then I'm putting her in the crib and putting her Fisher Price Aquarium on and staying the room with her till she falls asleep. she's been crying and trying to get me to pick her up but I just tell her that I'm here and she's all right and eventually she falls asleep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night I simply go in her room and rub her tummy or back depending on how she is facing until her goes back to sleep. I've only been doing this for a few days but it seems to be working and she cries a little less each time.

Good luck I hope this helps.

T.

1 mom found this helpful

Are you still nursing her? If so, you may want to try a formula. I know it is crazy talk for some of us. However I nursed my 1st baby until he was 1 yr. and he did very well. My 2nd, only until 6 months, she just wanted a change and she has been out like a light every night since, and I mean all night :o)

You have to get the book Good Night Sleep Tight (I think the sub title is "The Sleep Lady") You do not have to read the whole book. Just the first few chapters and then your age appropriate section. It is a "kinder" way to get them to sleep on their own. I used it at 8 months with my son and it worked like a charm, just a couple of days. Right after I got it, this woman was on channels 2, 4, 7, etc. She is well known and it also discusses co-sleeping, rocking, etc and why they are more problematic than just not sleeping through the night. You will feel like a new person and so will yoru child. I highly recommend it.

I'm right there with you! My 13 month old won't sleep through the night, and, won't even sleep in her own bed!! My husband and I were really crazy; she's our second child, and we did the "crying it out" thing with our first child and it was just horrible. It worked, eventually, but it took a LONG time as my son was really stubborn and he screamed his head off like we were scalping him, every night, for HOURS and HOURS. It was so stressful for everyone; Jack was beside himself screaming and crying, and my husband and I were at each other's throats. ("It's your turn to go in!" "What do you mean it's my turn, I went in last time!", etc.) That being said, I know a lot of people who did it that way and it worked really well; my son is just one of the those kids who took a long time to adapt to sleeping alone.

So, we decided not to do that with my daughter, but we swung a little too far in the other direction; she's never slept anywhere else but in our bed (or arms) and views her own crib as the "penalty box". But, feeling secure is important, too, and maybe she's just not ready to sleep on her own yet. I also think that for us, it has a lot to do with the fact that I work full-time, so sleeping in the bed with me is "our time", and makes her feel close. She just started falling asleep on her own (She gives herself a bottle, and then will fall asleep on our bed), which is an improvement. But, if we put her in her crib, she wakes up screaming after about 2 hours. I think it will get better with time; she'll adjust to the crib, and the intervals will get longer and longer. But it's going to be a sleep-deprived road, in the meantime....

Hi J.,
I had this problem with my then 6 month old child! Yep hard to believe that young, but I was spoiled by my 1st child sleeping through the night at 4mos old! So my husband & I just couldn't take it anymore, we were exhausted and frustrated with the situation & each other and certainly not as patient with our then 3 yr old. So we bit the bullet and yes let the baby cry. I know your baby is much older at this point, however what was suggested to us was to let the baby cry 10 minutes then go in check on them, however do not pick them up. then extend the time long each time. So after you check in, settle the baby, leave the room, and then wait 15, then go back settle baby with out picking up and then do 20 min. I know you said your baby cried 45 min. however if you can try this routine for 2 weeks, you can break the habit. It took us 3 days. Our boy has such a strong cry and he sounds like he's being hurt, but he eventually succumbed and now he sleeps through except when he's teething (of course motrin for that). If you can't stand the crying put the TV on,close the door or put headphones on for the time allotted. Good Luck! Your sleep filled nights are the most important thing here to be concerned about, your baby will probably not remember that she had to cry for 2 weeks, but she will remember that you were a patient & happy mother (that's what most mother's are when they get enough sleep and help every once in a while!) And you won't feel so bad about being less patient and so tired from lack of sleep :)

I would not say that it is cruelty. I have been in your shoes, except I was a SAHM. I had to let him cry it out, I'd go in to reassure him I was there adn it was ok though.

I've heard giving them a shirt/blanket that smells of you helps. Or.. co-sleeping... but that you would have to break one day too as well. Good luck!!!

I have read 2 sleep books which have some great info -

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber

If you are rocking her to bed at bedtime then she will expect the same thing when she wakes in the middle of the night. You probably need to let her cry it out for both so she learns how to put herself back to sleep no matter what time it is. It takes days apparently to get this accomplished. I am not there yet - my daughter is only 5 months. Earlier bedtime (7pm) will help her sleep longer as well - maybe through the night even. This I know from firsthand experience. Good luck - I feel your pain!

Hi Jeannette,
I don't think it is the rocking to sleep that causes the problem, but others may disagree. I am in the same 'boat' with my son - my husband opted for sleep vs soothing baby to sleep during teething, so here we are!
I don't believe in letting him cry either.

Look into solutions - and go with what works for the baby. Trust your instinct. I am not apologizing to anyone for the fact that my baby is nursed and rocked to sleep - because THAT is what works for my baby and our family. Rocking may be doing something for his digestive - who knows? Babies know best what they need, I have been told countless times, here and elsewhere.

From what you say, you are not feeding her or playing with her when she wakes, just rocking her back to sleep.

I think if you are trying to wean (and this is a guess only) her from rocking - try going about it this way: Rock her, but once she seems drowsy and stops crying, gradually slow the rock to a complete stop. It might take a few tries to get it right on the money when she is drowsy enough to do this, but it might work to gradually lessen the amount of time you are rocking, and start to work in a back rub (I hold the little guy sideways and rub his back a bit - trying to get him so he will accept a rub on the back to go back to sleep eventually).

There is no magic for getting a baby to go through the night.

The other thing I would check - is she having a hard time dealing with teething pain at night? I have found that the pain really kicks in for my little guy around 7-10 PM sometimes, and just giving 2/3 of the Tylenol dose is enough to get him off to sleep. It's a gauge-thing really; the finger is being nibbled on - pain, but not excruciating - the whole hand is in there, wow!

Good Luck,
M.

Hi my name is J. and am a mother of 2 beautiful boys 4 and 17 mos. I had this problem with both boys. I found (and is very difficult) you have to let her cry. The first night is the hardest. My son cried for at least 45 minutes the first night. The second night it was 30 minutes and so on until finally he got the hint and I wasn't coming in(It takes about a week or so). Let her cry for 10 minutes at a time, then peak in and say it is all right time to go night night. Each night you should increase the time ( 10 minutes fist night 15 minutes next night 20 minutes the following night etc.) I bought ocean wonders put it in his crib and to this day when he wakes up at night he pushes the button to play music and falls back to sleep without calling me or crying. My son's doctor said to me " if you were to wake up at night and you knew someone would get up and get you a hot fudge sundae (in this case a bottle) would you get up every night and ask for one?" I think it is harder on you then it is your baby. I remember holding a pillow over my head thinking I was a bad mom for not coming to his rescue but I knew he was not sick, or hungry he just wanted me to come in and hold him. It is the hardest thing to do but the best thing I did because he sleeps from 7:30pm to 7:00am. You have to be strong and support one another but it will pay off in the long run. I hope I helped you.

Hi J.. I don't really have any great advice to give you other the I am going through a simular situation with my 17 month old son too. I have all ready put in two request to mamasourse and got some great advice but I too find the "letting them cry it out" is so so hard. At this point my son usually falls asleep on me and then I wait a while and then put him in his crib so that's a start for me being he would usually wake up and freak out at that point and go right into my bed so now he spends the first few hours sleeping in his crib and then get's up about the same time as your daughter at that point the only way he passes right out again is next to be. I have been told by many moms that this will pass but while we are going through it feels like forever. I wish you the best of luck I would say do what works for you especially if you are working everyday you need your sleep more then ever if she ends up in bed with you a few hours toward the morning and you three are getting some sleep is what you all need. My daugther is going to be 6yrs in October she went through a stage like your daughter getting up everynight too thank goodness that time was a fast stage hope it is for you too. Once my son turned 1yrs that was it he has not wanted any part of sleeping in his crib at all. If you find what works please let me know. Sorry I have not good miracle advice for you. Hang in there. G.

So sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time of it! Sleep deprivation can really destroy your patience and sanity.
I, too, would recommend the Healthy Sleep Habits book. It is really helpful because there are summary bullet points for parents that need help now, and don't have time to read 4 chapters.
I agree it can seem cruel to let your child cry. Try to think about her needs. She NEEDS a good night's sleep to grow well and develop mentally and physically. She needs to learn to put herself back to sleep without your help. For some babies this comes easier or earlier. Waking throughout the night is a normal behavior for babies and adults. The real problem is when they can't go back to sleep on their own. She also needs to know that you are there for her to comfort her if she is frightened. This is a balance you need to strike.
Just as you wouldn't feed your daughter a bowl full of sugar because she wanted that, you shouldn't let her continue to get up and out of the crib at all hours of the night because she finds it more fun than going back to sleep. Set some boundaries and guidelines to begin with. When you have a regular bedtime routine and time, it will be easier for all of you. Then be consistent. Start out with less and less rocking before you lay her down. Once she is in her crib for the night, she should not be allowed out. At her age, she shouldn't need a bottle or food, but sometimes water helps, since the drinking is comforting. Pick a routine that works for your family, either letting her cry it out completely, going in to lay her back down briefly every 5 minutes, or in increasing 5 min increments till she is asleep. Whatever you pick, however, be consistent. If you let her cry for 45 min one night and then go in after 15 min the next night, you just un-did all the hard work your family went through the night before! Complete crying it out is VERY difficult, however, it is usually shorter, since it is very obvious to your daughter what is expected of her. Going in to briefly comfort her every 5, 10, 15 min. will take longer, but may suit your family better.
Best of luck and many sleep vibes to you!!

Hi J.,

We have the same concern with our 16 month old son. We also tried to let him cry it out, that did not work. We started to notice that at night his room would get cold, so we put PJ pants on him and give him two light blankets that will not suffocate him,(maybe her room is too warm or too cold for her). This reduced him to only waking up once as opposed to four or five times. It doesn't always work, so, we also try to feed him dinner a little later in the evening so that he goes to bed full. We noticed that days when he eats less or earlier than usual, he wakes up several times as opposed to only once/twice. Have you tried to give her a blanket or lovie to hold? Everything is trial and error. I tell my son when he wants me to rock him, that today I will do it, but tomorrow he will have to try and lay in the crib with his blankie and sing himself to sleep(I also sing a lullaby to him, which he has learned to hum since he was a few months old). Negotiation is big for him at this point.
My pediatrician scolds us that we are spoiling him and that once we put him in a toddler bed that he will prone to coming into our bedroom when he wakes. What are we to do, we have tried ignoring him and have formed a half way point where when he wakes up most of the time he is back asleep within a matter of minutes as oppose to waking for hours at a time. It allows us SOME SLEEP, not as much as we'd like, but enough to feel semi rested in the morning.
I wish you and your husband all the best of luck.

Make her "cry it out". My daugther who is also 17 months was a great sleeper and recently (for the past 2 weeks) was teething and then just got into bad habits of waking up at the crazy hours you mentioned. I recommend you get the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It totally helped us. You have to be strong, but we used the "gradual extinction" technique (which will make sense if you read the book) and she is now back to self soothing and getting back to bed without our intervention. Good luck.

I have never used the CIO method and while it works for others, I've found other methods to use. I use a bedtime routine and try to appeal to my daughters' senses (sight, sounds, smell, touch) to get them ready for bed.

I swear by the light-up musical crib toys. Both of my daughters (#1 is 2 years old and #2 is 5 mos old) have one and it helps them fall asleep. We have the Fisherprice Rainforest Waterfall crib toy. Initially, I turn it on for them when I first put them in bed and they watch it listening to the music and fall asleep on their own. Now my 2 year old will turn it on when she wants/needs to-- if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she turns it on, watches it, and falls back to sleep on her own. She'll also use it for naptime too.

Does your daughter have a special stuffed animal or blanket? If she has something to cuddle with, she might be more comfortable.

Aside from the routine of bath, pj's, cup of milk, and snuggle on the couch, I also use the J&J bedtime lotion so that a particular smell is associated with bedtime/sleep. A quick massage with some nice smelly lotion certainly makes me relax!

Your daughter has gotten into the routine of being rocked, so you'll need to change/adjust the routine to help her get mentally, physically, & emotionally ready for bed and fall asleep on her own. There will probably be an adjustment period, but once she gets into a new routine, she should be able to sleep on her own.

One other thing to consider is your daughter's nap schedule. How well & when does she nap during the day? Could her naptime be interferring with bedtime? Does she fall asleep on her own for nap(s)? In regards to bedtime routine, you could integrate/adapt some aspects of the bedtime routine into her naptime routine and vice versa.

I hope this helps!

Hi J., my daughter is almost 2 1/2 and just started sleeping through the night. The thing that is different about our situation is that we never rocked her to sleep, she fell asleep on her own, but would always wake up (usually just once) for milk. I finally decided that I'd had enough and told her that if she wakes up in the middle of the night I won't be coming in her room. It's seemed to work, I heard her the first few nights and she cried alittle, but nothing major. She has the fisher price aquarium in her crib and when she wakes us I hear her turn it on and it lulls her back to sleep. I totally understand you not wanting to let your daughter cry it out, so it seems like somehow you've got to teach her to fall alseep on her own. Take it very slow, maybe the first night sit with her in the chair you rock her and read a book while rocking, then put her in her crib and sit right next to it, or rub her back. Little by little wean her off the rocking and hopefully that will help with the middle of the night. I hope this helps!

I am of the school of thought that leaving them to cry *is* cruelty, and obviously you sensed that in your heart as well, but were at your wits end with what to try next! I've been there, and the most helpful thing I know of is the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I hope it proves helpful for you!

My 16 month old has the same pattern. Although, most times, as she is sleepy, I put her in her crib and read a story then sing softly for a bit. Then I say good night and allow her to go to sleep on her own. Sometimes she cries for a little bit or plays but falls asleep fairly quickly.

Then she is up at 11, 2ish, and I usually take her into our bed and she rolls over around 4/5ish for some milk, but doesn't wake. We are still breast feeding.

The way I see it, babies need nurturing and protection given by their parents for years. "The norm" of society is not always 'right.' It may be 'right' for a handful, but every child and every relationship is so very different. You need to do what feels good to you. If your child wakes and wants the security of a mama or dada hug and cuddle, I say give it to them. Mine wakes and is hungry, I will feed her. Babies are only babies for a short time; soon they will be grown and you may look back and wish you had held them more.

My grandmother (mama to 6) told me "you can't spoil a baby. they need you and allow you to be the person who you truly are."

Hello, It is not easy at all. I dealt with that by getting up and rubbing the back of my child. I also did go through the rocking for a very very long time. I had no idea what to do. I then found that my daughter just wasn't testing me she really had bad night terrors. so my advice isn't the best at all. I then started to co sleep and its been wonderful nights since she was 18 months old. Transitioning to her bed was not hard at all. My husband and I loved it and hated it but we all are great now.

J.,
Something you might want to try is when you are holding her and she is just about to sleep but not all the way- lay her down so she will learn to fall asleep on her own.. try to wean her from being almost asleep to being more awake and this will help her learn to put herself to sleep. if she wakes up when you put her down maybe try rubbing or patting on her and lessen that too as you go along.. Hope this helps.. i am a mom of 3 girls and I have been there..it seemed to work pretty well. Good Luck!!=)

J.,

I know it is extremely difficult to let them cry themselves to sleep, but if you want them to become comfortable with being by themselves, and be able to fall asleep without being rocked, you really don't have any choice.

I went through the same thing with my son, many years ago. He absolutely would not go to bed unless I rocked him to sleep first. I discussed the matter with his pediatrician, who told me that I had two choices, either continue rocking him, or force him to go to sleep on his own, by simply letting him cry for a little while.

Well, the "little while" was over an hour on the first and second nights. He was stubborn and wouldn't give up. I finally had to sit out on the porch because I was crying as hard as he was, and couldn't listen to it anymore. But by the third night, it was only 30 minutes, and each night after that, the time that he cried got shorter, until finally he just gave up and went to sleep when I put him to bed.

Doing that will probably be one of the hardest things that you ever have to do, but its best for both your daughter and for you, so that you both get your proper rest, and neither of you are all upset when trying to go to sleep every night.

I'm a big believer in many parts of attachment parenting (carrying my baby everywhere, etc.), but I think it's actually meaner to not teach a baby to soothe herself to sleep! I know it's absolutely miserable, listening to her cry. But if you put yourself in her shoes, you can imagine how miserable it is for her- not being able to go back to sleep without help!

My personal advice- let her cry. It's horrible. It's awful. It hurts your heart so bad. But let her do it, and you will see huge improvement! At this point, she's really ready to learn this level of self-soothing. Be consistent each night, and don't check on her. (No matter how screamy she is.) If she throws up, which could very well happen, just go in and calmly change her without any major soothing. Then put her right back down. It'll be loud and messy for a few days, and then she'll be a stronger, more independent little girl. This will actually make her happier! My son is so much happier and better rested now, and every morning we both wake up with big smiles after 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. All three of you deserve that!

Oh, and make your husband hold you the entire time. :) It really helps.

Since she falls asleep with rocking, do this slowly. Start off the first night with her mostly alseep when you put her in the crib, but still awake. Then slowly increase the amount of awakeness she is. So by the time all is said and done she is wide awake going to bed. I also play music for my kids in their rooms when they go to sleep. It's very soothing and sets the tone. Now my kids are 4 and 1 and all I have to do is start the music and their right back to sleep.

I agree with you that the crying it out thing is not for me. Our son just started sleeping through the night at 15 months. There are still nights where he wakes up and needs to be rocked and held. The way we did it was to slowly put him in the crib. I stay right next t him and rub his back and soothe until he calms down. Then I slowly moved away from the crib each night. Some nights I can sit in the chair and other nights he wants me right next to the crib. It usually takes him about 10 minutes to fall asleep and I have found that since he is putting himself to sleep in the crib, he began sleeping through the night.

Good luck.

Every child is different and they all go through different stages with everything. It's up to the parents to be patient and be supportive of your child during all of it. They aren't computer toys that can be programmed nor does it have anything to do with what societies rules. It all has to do with your childs needs. When a child cries, it's not much different from when an adult cries...we all need comfort, we all need to feel safe, secure and loved and babies don't have a choice but to depend on their parents for this...so I don't believe your child is getting any benefit from crying it out for any length of time.
At some point in time we all end up sleeping throughout the night...your daughter will too, be patient.

When one brings a child into the world, their lives change and adjustments need to be made....it's normal to feel resentment that your time isn't your own anymore but not right to re-act on it. Babies, Children will pick up on that resentment and will react to it one way or another so be careful with this.

Being happy and content consists of having a healthly balance in life. It's important to work out a balance so talk to your husband about it and figure out what that balance is for both of you...work on it together giving each other support. Work, Loving and caring for your child and home, alone time with your spouse, time for social and friends. And remember that with each stage of your childs life, you and your husband will need to make adjustments in keeping things as balanced as possible...

hi there! i have a 15 1/2 month old boy and we went through this when he was about 11 months. i now live in australia and we went to a sleep doctor. he told me at that age, kids know what's going on and they will cry until you come in and sooth them. i am a sucker for my son and he is and means the world to me. my husband is much tougher than i am... anyway, he told us when had to let him cry and learn how to put himself to sleep. it took about 3 days. you can't give up. i think i the first day he cried for over an hr and then the 2nd and third i can't remember. it worked. we were told to say goodnight and not allowed to go back in til the morning. doing the hard yards is painful but well worth it in the long run. the dr i saw is dr brian symons. he has a book. also after a few days, she might wake up crying and it's a test!!! you can't go in. and, now my little man sleeps soundly through the night. no more 4am random wake ups. it's sooooo difficult to do but i highly recommend trying it esp for your sanity. and for sleep hrs, you really want her to sleep at least 12 hrs so she's not crabby all day and everyday. good luck. M.

I had a grandson like this and his mother let him cry it out for 45 minutes each night for three nights. After that he knew that it was bedtime and no one was picking him up. As long as your husband can understand what you are doing, i'd say give it a try. My children's father would not tolerate their crying and they were over 2 years before they slept through the night. Good luck!!!

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