Getting Baby to Sleep

Hi M.:

Hang in there!!:) Sometimes keeping the baby up several hours before helps. End the naping time earlier in the evening. Keep the baby busy. Also, is your baby on cereal yet? Sometimes a heavier meal of cereal right before bedtime helps. Sometimes, sweetie, you can try everything and you just have to hang in there until it passes. Trust me, it will. Though you're single, do you have family around that can watch the baby for an evening while you catch up on sleep?

Have you started your baby on solid baby food. rice cereal, pureed baby food ect?
It sounds like he is truely hungry, or that he is ready for you to stop rocking him and lay him back down to sleep. I would do one or both. give him more food during the day and see if it is hunger waking him up or let him cry for at least 15 min and see if he puts himself back to sleep on his own(he will have to learn sometime)

Best of luck!!!!!!1
L.

Dear M.:

I totally feel for you darling. I have a 2 year old daughter and I my hubby helps alot thank God. However sometimes I feel that I am going crazy so I totally understand you. M. kids change their behavior almost daily. So my advice is that make sure you do get some rest. Not everything is the baby. YOu need to have your energy and your sanity to be able to take care of the baby. It's ok to let him cry sometimes, My daughter doctor recommeded 15mins and then check on him. Then again if he doesn't stop another 15 mins. Make sure you talk to the baby's doctor all the time. You need his support. Please stay in touch. I think we are neighbors. Maybe we can speak on the phone if you like. Sincerely, S.

I have a kid that doesn't like to go to sleep. I tried everything and the only thing that worked was the Ferber method where you put the baby to bed on a routine then respond at regular intervals. First you respond every 5 min, then 10 etc. I'm sure you can read about the details on the net. (By the way, my daughter had to relearn going to sleep by herself after every illness because when they are sick you are getting them up.)

Since you are single, you could also just let the baby sleep with you and bypass the whole issue!

Hi M.:
It is going to be hard, but the same thing happened to us. It usually takes about 3 nights to work and then you are on your way to a full nights sleep. Put your baby in his crib at his usual bedtime (it also helps to have a consistent routine like dinner, bath, bottle, bed). Let him cry for 10 minutes. If he is still crying go in and pat his back and speak to him in a soft voice. DO NOT PICK HIM UP. The urge to do that will be overwhelming, but know that you are helping him. Do that for about 3 minutes and then leave the room. I sat outside my baby's door and cried. It is awful. If he is still crying after another 10 minutes, go back in and repeat. The first night it may take you an hour to go through the motions to get him to sleep, then next night maybe 30 minutes, but I swear by it. I learned it from nanny 911 and it worked like a charm on my little boy.

My 6 month old daughter did the same thing. She was sleeping through the night since she was about 3 months old and then all of a sudden, she started waking up around 2am. I would feed her and rock her back to sleep (it would take about an hour), but I was getting really frustrated. I talked to my Pediatrician at her 6 month check-up and he said it was separation anxiety, which is common at that age. The baby doesn't understand that just because he can't see you, you are still there for him. I started putting her to bed at 8pm, which was an hour earlier than I had been putting her down. I figured the later I kept her up the longer she would sleep, but she was actually getting overly tired, which made it harder for her to sleep. The Pediatrician told me that in order to get her over the separation anxiety, I could check on her when she started crying in the middle of the night (to make sure she was not physically hurt), but that I shouldn't feed her. He said I could pick her up and let her know that I was still there for her and then put her back down. He said to leave the room for as long as I could stand it and try to let her cry herself to sleep. If I had to go back in there in 5 minutes to reassure her, I could, but he said to wait 10 minutes before I went in again and gradually make the time longer between going in again. This sounded cruel (for both me and her), but I tried it and after about a week, it worked. After a while, she learned to soothe herself back to sleep when she woke up in the middle of the night, knowing that I was still in the house to help her if she needed me. Check out some information on the internet ("Google" - baby night separation anxiety). There are tons of websites. Also, check with your Pediatrician to see what he recommends. Now she sleeps from 8pm - 6:30am or 7am. Good luck!

M.,
I am so sorry that you have been put in this situation. You must be exausted!!!!! I am sure that most of the people have reccommended Babywise, but I am not going to! Have you checked to see if he has an ear infection? Maybe cutting teeth? Now that it is flu season, they can get all stopped up and it is hard for them to breath, so they can't go to sleep. HEre is what you need to know ... this is NOT going to last forever. Most babies eventually sllep through the night by the time they are a year old and EVERTHING gets so much easier! This is the toughest time right now, so HANG in there!!!! I promise life will get easier in a couple of months!

Have you tried a warm bath before bed? Maybe reading....sometimes the sounds of a mothers voice is soothing cuz they get used to it in the womb. I had my kids on a pacifier only when they go to bed cuz believe it or not it helps. Otherwise i dunno what else to suggest.... maybe that lavender soothing baby bath stuff. or humming while you rock.....or playing relaxing music. Those are things that have worked for my kids. But what your baby is doing is pretty normal since my kids did the same. :o) Hope I helped :o) I have a 2 and 3 year old single mother too and their dad isnt in their lives either. ugh! its hard.

Hi M., I had a similar experience with my first baby girl. She's 1 now, but it seems like she went through several different sleep stages. My husband and I were getting up several times a night because she would just scream. After trying everything I decided to try a little tough love and I let her cry without going into her room. She eventually fell back asleep on her own. It did take several times of doing this but it seemed to work for us. For a while I would go into her room and make sure she was ok - I'd give her the pacifier and turn on some music and not take her out of her crib. All babies are different I know, but you may want to try it and see if it works for you. I've read a lot of books that say this is really the only way to get them to go to sleep on their own. Also, you might find that this is just a stage and eventually your baby will stop it. Hang in there - I know it's frustrating. It will get better.
L.

First I want to say I'm sorry for what you are going through. I remember how exasperating it is when your baby won't sleep.

I can't say I have any really tried and true methods. But at nearly 7 months maybe your baby is beginning to teethe. I found that a crib toy such as a Peaceful Planet aquarium (there is another one now with birds) really helped my son learn to self soothe. Or a CD of water or white noise.

And lastly, it sounds difficult, but you may want to consider letting him cry it out. If you know that he isn't hurting, his diaper is dry/clean, etc. try soothing him in his crib and walking out. It is hellish for a few days but it will work. I know a lot of people oppose the practice but when other things don't work and you are at your wit's end, you need to do what works for you. Good luck. If you need support, let me know. I will do my best to help.

M.,
My heart goes out to you. I have two little ones of my own and am expecting a third. Your baby is probably teething, and that may be keeping him up at night. Try giving him tylenol before bed and see if that helps. He is also going to get used to you coming in and continue crying just for you if you always respond with attention and rocking. I'd suggest that if you conclude there is no problem other than him wanting you, you shoudl let him cry it out. I know this is difficult, and it may take 2 or 3 rough nights before he goes back to his good sleeping routine, but that is better than endless weeks, months, or even years of getting up multiple times to rock him. I also know from experience and from friends that babies will go through phases of good sleeping times and not so good sleeping times. Sometimes it has to do with teething, or night terrors when they get a little older. The important thing is to be consistent and not teach them that they can cry just to be held, because they need to continue to be able to fall asleep on their own. Hope this helps! Good luck.
A.

My only son is now 4 years old. He never slept through the night until he was about 2. We had him in our bed until he was 3 1/2! He could be waking up hungry. I know they go through spurts of growth where they need to eat more frequently! My heart goes out to you...I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.

Sincerly,
J.

I know this sounds a bit crazy - but I still wrap my 6 1/2 month old daughter similar to the "swaddle" they teach you at the hospital before bringing home baby - only difference is I don't tuck her arms in. I make sure the blanket is secure enough so that when she wiggles at night it won't pull loose. I think the biggest help in getting her to sleep through the night was just creating a routine and sticking with it through the good and the bad for over a month. I give her a bath every night at the same time, and then have a "ritual" of lathering her with lotion / diaper ointment / lavender oil in her hair and a very little hydrocortisone on her face for the dry patches that her pediatrician recommended. Then I feed her in the rocker with the lights dimmed - burp her and put her down. She fussed for about a week and woke up a couple times in the night for a few weeks - but then all was dandy and now she sleeps a solid 11 -12 hours a night. Well worth the hard part of keeping a rigid routine!! Of course I know all babies are different - so I am not saying this is the end all be all - but it may be worth a shot! :)

My boy just went through the same thing. He slept through the night since he was around 6 weeks old. He just turned 8 months, but right around 6 1/2 months he started waking up in the middle of the night. He'd do it a couple nights, then sleep through, then do it, then not. It wasn't consistent. However, most of the time he wouldn't go back to sleep without having a bottle. I've heard that kiddos have a growth spurt around 6 months. I think my oldest did the same thing, but it's hard to remember ;-). At any rate, he's gone back to sleeping all night again, and even sleeps an hour more than before all the sleep interruptions began. You sound pretty desperate. Hope you get a break soon. Maybe a local church would help? Maybe try Prestonwood.

Hi M.
I was in the same boat !! Ands at 15 months my son still doesn't sleep thru the night! My Pediatrician said I should have done tough love and let him cry it out for a week, then I wouldn't still have this problem. I suggest you ask your Pediatrician for advice, and get him to sleep on his own by 7 months...that apparently is the window. I feel for you...and am so mad that my son still doesn't sleep thru the night. But believe me, ther are plenty of babies who don't and the moms just won't admit it!
There is a book calle "The no cry sleep solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley that has great ideas but we never got them to work!
best wishes...don't dispair.
L.

Is he teething by chance? Does he have reflux? Or has he recently reached new milestones-like rolling, sitting, crawling, etc. Those are reasons he might be having problems at night.
That is great that he started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. But sometimes babies change their patterns. Mine certainly has and she will be 6 months on 12-09.

You should read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I am sure you can find it at your local library.

M., I certainly sympathize w/you. I had to work really hard to get my now 9-mo son to sleep on his own. I found a book that has guided me through the whole baby sleep schedule process. It is "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. I started my son to sleep on his own around 3-mos. He does very well now, but sometimes he still has wakings at night or cries when I first put him in his crib. He soon falls fast asleep though and sleeps through the night. If your son is teething right now that could cause sleep problems, or he could have the wrong associations w/falling asleep. If you like you can email me for more info/questions on this method, or if you have access to the internet, you can do a search for Dr. Ferber, or go to your local library to check the book out. I still keep the book handy.