November 07, 2008,
M.C. asks from Fairfax, VA on November 02, 2008
Getting 9 Month Old to Sleep in Crib
I am trying to get my 9 month old son back to sleeping in his crib. He was doing great a couple months ago at sleeping at nighttime and naptime. Due to lots of traveling he got used to sleeping with me. He does have a fear of the dark so I have a dim lit lamp in there as well as his crib aquarium which lights up and plays music. He cries and cries and cries. I try to do 5 minutes of crying which is difficult because it gets bad. I just dont know what to do to get him to sleep alone in his crib. ANY advice would be helpful!
1 mom found this helpful
J.H. answers from Washington DC on November 03, 2008
It's hard to have change! I know how you fel about the sleeping in the whole bed thing and everytime there was a change it got harder. So I did thge sleep training but I couldn't handle going in every 5 min. I lengthen the time to 15 min and just laid him down and said mommy loves you good night. Then left the room. Sometimes he went to sleep and sometime he cried for 15 more min but I worked on one set thing first was nap then in a month I did bedtime. While he cried I did things to keep me busy like listen to my mp3 player but still watch the time. I hope things get better. Als a rutine seems to work well too!
C.M. answers from Washington DC on November 03, 2008
I am in the same boat unfortunately (my son is crying as I type). I have tried so many things but it's still such a struggle. I am moderately opposed to CIO but have found that it works the best. There are nights when he hardly makes a peep and there are nights where he cries for up to an hour with us going in every 10 mins or so. It's really hard but I'm convinced we will find the right compromise soon!
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N.W. answers from Washington DC on November 04, 2008
Hello M., try laying somewhere in his room so that he knows that you are there, but not quite sleeping w/ him. It may take some time,maybe a few weeks or so.Just be patient stick to your guns,I know it can be hard especially when they give you a certain look but keep up the good work.
S.C. answers from Norfolk on November 03, 2008
Dr. Sears says everyone should sleep where everyone gets the most sleep. So, your son does not have to sleep in the crib. If you really want/need him to you might try letting him fall asleep with you and then moving him to the crib. If he wakes at night you can either bring him to bed with you or lose the sleep at night getting him back to sleep in the crib. You might also consider moving the crib to your room at the foot of the bed. I had a friend do that and it worked great for them. I have six children and I am not a fan of the whole crying it out thing. Find what works for you and your child and don't worry if it is different from what a certain books says or what works for your friends. Sleep is important for a mom esp. when on your own. My husband deploys frequently and I value sleep so it is easier for me to just sleep with the baby. We both sleep better which makes me a happier mommy.
K.H. answers from Washington DC on November 03, 2008
Our society has built this huge expectation that babies sleep in cribs and it can be convenient. Some babies can adjust to sleeping alone while others do better with Mom nearby. I like the book, "Our babies, ourselves" because it explains how babies and moms have slept together throughout time until recently. No matter how you resolve this issue, it may help to know that your baby is behaving normally. You may be able to teach him something different but wanting mom nearby is normal.
You both will be happier with as much sleep as possible. The fact that crying bothers you is a really good thing - you have a close relationship with your baby and care deeply how he feels. This time when he is little and needs you so much will pass quickly, as he grows up, no matter how you figure out the sleeping now.
Your son is lucky to have you!
L.M. answers from Norfolk on November 03, 2008
I recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It is a book I found highly recommended on-line by other parents and it is very logically put together. It does stress two major things... 1. This is a process. You have to really study your child's sleep patterns and be honest about your part in them. 2. You have to both be ready for it. There are a lot of tricks and tasks for the parents to help the child get ready, but if you are not emotionally ready for the upheaval caused by "retraining" your child, or if you are still enjoying the co-sleeping too much to initiate the change, maybe you're not ready. I wasn't.
Another tip, I put a twin-sized mattress on the floor in my baby's nursery. He likes to play on it, and when I put him there while he is sleeping, he doesn't freak out like he does when I put him in his crib. Good luck.
V.G. answers from Washington DC on November 07, 2008
I used to have the same problem and my son had a dr.'s appt one day and my mother in-law had to take him and she asked what we should do. The dr told us that we should make sure he had a full belly because sometimes thats why they cry. He said that we should put him in his crib and let him cry for a bit. I will admit it was very very hard but i would only let him cry for about 15mins then i would go back in there. But after about a week of feeling like my son hated me for making him cry his self to sleep he has been so easy to put down. I also have one of those projectors in his room that has cows and moons and stars going around in circles and that helps too. I take him in his room now and turn the projector on and say goodnight to him and then he is out... Hope this helps!!
J.J. answers from Washington DC on November 03, 2008
Sometimes my 10 month old gets a little anxiety about me leaving her room, so occasionally I will sit in my rocking chair across from her crib and whisper to her that I'm there until she starts to fall asleep. Like Proud Mommy B suggested, you might try staying in his room a night or a few until your son gets comfortable again with the crib. You might even spend the night on his floor - my friend did that when transitioning her son from her room to his own, and it worked well for her. Good luck.
J.W. answers from Norfolk on November 03, 2008
As long as you put him on his back, if he flips it is okay. That's the first thing. The second thing is that you just have to out him in his crib and go in the other room. we always shut our girls door. It is hard but unless theya re crying non stop for more than 30 minutes (I mean not stopping for a breath or to take a break from crying/etc) theya r efine. It is rlaly hard. The first time my oldest cried for 1 hour and 45 min, the second night it was down to an hour the third ngiht it was 30 min and by night 4 she was fine