Getting 3 1/2 Month Old to Sleep - New York,NY

Listen to your baby, he's trying to tell you that you are the only one he trusts. You are the only one he wants doing something with him that intimate. Can you blame him? There are so many strange faces and noises in this cold and new world, and he only knows you because he lived inside you all these months and learned your voice, smell, etc. This may be something he outgrows soon, but for now, cherish it, it's your time that no one else can share or compensate for.

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Sounds like my oldest daughter when she was an infant. I think that she sensed my need to protect her and provide her with everything she could possibly need. My second child would go to anyone - probably because I was confident that she'd be okay since now I was "experienced." Some of my most precious memories are those times that I cradled and comforted my oldest daughter - when I was her world. Now she is 14, a freshman in highschool - she'll still come into my room at night to snuggle me up. So - I guess what I'm saying is if you want someone else to put him to sleep and comfort him, let go of any feelings that you can do it best and he'll probably respond. If you can't let that go - enjoy these moments - they are fleeting.
Warmly,
S.

Oh boy--your post took me back!! I have 3 kids--the first would only fall asleep in my arms. Putting him in the crib was a ritual that took 1/2 hour and ended with me trying to inch out of his room on my hands and knees and praying that I did not hit a creaky floor board. The slightest noise and his little head would pop up and I'd have to stand there and pat and stroke his back for several more minutes. This was exhausting. My second was a little better. But heavens--number three? I used to nurse her in the living room with the rest of the family present and the tv on. Burp her-by now she's half asleep. Then carry her to her crib, kiss her, put her in and walk out!
My point? The more I think about this the problem with my first was me. I worked, I hated to let him cry. So my husband and I were trained. By the time we got to the third, there were times where she had to wait a minute or two upon awakening. She had to settle herself to go to sleep. In the end it served her well--and us!! Don't be afraid to let your baby fuss a little--it helps him to learn to settle himself. If you can break this Mommy has to put me in the crib routine--you will all be better off!!

My daughter went through this phase, it lasted about three months, while very frustrating for Daddy, take it as a compliment. Your baby loves and trusts you. I just made myself available to put her down every night until she grew out of it and didn't try to push her to fall asleep for other people. If you baby is most comfortable with you, let him be comfortable. I guess you may have to push him if you can't make yourself available every night, but it's easiest if you can.

Well this is a tough one. You just have to get him used to other people caring for him and putting him to sleep. WHen you put him to sleep do you rock & sooth him to sleep? You may want to try putting him down awake but sleepy and letting him cry it out. You start by leaving him as long as you can stand it (even if its only 5 min the first time) and don't talk to him when you go in just pat him on the belly or tumme an let him know you are there and leave again. then work your way up to 20 min. By then he will be asleep. I know this seems harsh and hard to do. But believe me it is the best thing for you both. I did this with both my girls and they were self soothers early. And sleep well still, this gives you peace of mind and helps you maintain a schedule that works for you both. And if you get someone else involved in caring for him now too it will be easier later. Try getting daddy in there to put him to sleep, or grandma or someone he in familiar with first before you move to a babysitter. Good luck!

It could be your son is attached to you for this routine of the day. Try wearing the same shirt for a few nights while sleeping, then place that on your husband's (or whoever wants to try) chest. He can rock your son with your scent nearby. Maybe that would help with the transition of letting someone else try putting him down. Also, we introduced a lovey for our daughter around 3 months, and that works really well. So long as she has her lovey, anyone can put her in the crib.

Try letting him fall asleep in his crib with music on. This way it doesn't matter who puts him to sleep.

Two ways to think about it:
1. All babies prefer Mommy. Remember that one day they wont even want you to hug them, and savor every moment. It will go faster than you can believe.
2. Leave the room (or house/apartment if you must) and dont return until she is asleep. If you do this on a regular basis, she will get used to going to sleep with another trusted grownup. She will cry, but she will be used to it within a couple of days. Remember that if even sometimes you come back and help her, she will expect it and it will not work. This is not manipulation on her part, but rather confusion.

There really isnt anything that you can do about it for instant gratification, but during the day or awake moments of the little guys day, make sure your husband gets plenty of contact with him, holding and snuggling. Also do not hold him all the time, let him lay in a bassinet in the room you are in..( learn from my mistakes girl..;) or put the baby on a padded mat on the floor. And to get the baby sleeping on his own, DO NOT TRAIN HIM IN THE PM. Do it at nap times while you are awake, so you have plenty of patience and exhaustion isnt beating you down.. Just lay baby in the crib, rub his belly or massage his scalp. He may cry (let him for short periods) and it may not even work for a few days, but eventually he will learn to feel secure in his surroundings. And he will also be comforted by your husband enough to let him put him to bed.. But consistancy is the key to results. God bless and congratulations on your little angel!

That's not a problem. He was with you for nine months and has a special bond with you. He'll eventually let someone else put him asleep, he just loves your closeness and is comfortable. What's the matter with that? I'd love to have a little one to cuddle!!
Grandma K.

Hey there J.,
No solid advice here except to clone Mommy! My daughter is a year old now and I found that if she's tired enough now (over the past month or so) she'll fall asleep on own or with someone other than me. However, until now it was only-Mommy! so, you're not alone...
M.

Hi J.,

I have a 14 month old and have two books that rocked my world when it comes to getting daughter to sleep. She is at 12 hours at a stretch- 7pm to 7am. took some work but it is well worth it!

'Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep' Habits by Dr. Mark Weiss-something
'Sleeping Through The Night' by Dr. Mindell

A.

hey whatever works, if mom works so be it apparently baby feels more secure with mom right now so go with it in a month baby could want a teddy bear or blanket so enjoy the feeling of being wanted by that baby as a matter of fact enjoy every second they grow up fast and you don't want to miss anything----C. r.

I cant beleive all of these moms saying they need their 3 month olds to sleep. They are babies- they need to eat, be held, and nurtured. My youngest would not let anyone hold him after about three months . I felt that he new my smell and could just sense that I was not always comfortable passing him around to other people. Sorry to sound so harsh...-KM

you should get the book - how to solve your child's sleep problems I believe it's by Richard Ferber. You can get it at Amazon - that is where I got mine. Good Luck