Getting 13 Year Old to Wear a Bra!

does she have an aunt or good family friend that can take her to get fitted for a bra? buy her lunch, make it a special occassion, rather than just a tortured afternoon out with mom?

I just ask this because I have a twin sister who had to start wearing a bra in 5th grade, she was 10.. for whatever reason I soooo did not need one until I was 12 or 13.... and by then I would have rather gouged my own eyes out than go with my mom.... so my step-mother took me (she was younger, cooler (I guess) and less intimidating to me). I feel sorry for my mom (in hind-sight) but she was probably just happy that I started wearing a bra.

IMHO, better to have a friend take her before she is teased at school for not wearing one...

This is tough. camis with built in shelf bras really only work if there's not much to hold up - mostly they just cover nipples. One way to work on this - have the girl stand in front of a mirror naked or just in a cami and jump up and down - watch them wiggle! that is upsetting enough to most girls to get them to understand that they need some support and some coverup because other kids and boys are watching them wiggle as they walk or play in gym.

Choose bras without underwires - cotton only. be sure they are the right size so they don't chafe or constrict. Try different styles - front clip, racing back, etc - to see what's comfortable. wish your friend good luck!

A 13 yo is still a child and may be having a very hard time accepting the changes in her body. And frankly as long as she's not a DD, it probably not all that noticeable that she has no bra. I'm guessing she's wearing baggier clothes or sweaters to hide her chest...why fight her?

Eventually she'll come around to the fact that she needs a bra. Her peers, boyfriend or the 'mean girls' will eventually get through to her and she'll realize mom was right. Until then though, she's just fine to be who she is. I personally don't like bras a bit and will shed them at the first chance I get. Still. They are uncomfortable and confining (even no underwire, sports and other 'comfy bras'). She won't go all the way through life letting them hang out, trust me.

And as for support, its a myth. Its having babies that causes the droop, not the lack of a bra...just don't tell her that :-) GL!!

My daughter was the same way. Nothing feminine!! I thought I would go crazy. I just happened to find little sports bras that don't really look like bras and clip in the front. They have no lace and are very plain. Shirts with built in bras are an excellent idea also.

To Wendy: Yes a 13 year old NEEDS a bra. My 11 year old needs one. Some just develop faster.

My daughter likes the sports-bra type. She didn't like to wear hers at first either, but I let her know it was necessary and part of growing up, and she eventually came around.

First off, does the 13 year old NEED to wear a bra? If she hasn't started to develop at all, I probably wouldn't bother.

If, however, she needs it, here's what I would do. I would have my daughter look at herself in the mirror. Point out that you can see her nipples, and does she really want to show off THAT much of herself?

My dd refuses to wear a bra bra (and she needs one). However, she is perfectly happy to wear a cami tank with a built in shelf bra. Those layering tanks are really in style, and if she gets one with a shelf bra, it gives a young girl the coverage and support she needs.