Fussy 6 Mth Daughter That Wants to Be Held All the Time

You already have oodles of suggestions and ideas.

I'm going to tell you the same thing I have told my daughters: "Remember, this too shall pass, and before you know it, you'll be MISSING this time, believe it or not!"

Sometimes if their teething they get clingy, also you mentioned she had a little colic, that also contributes to it. And it could be she gets bored and frustrated at times, because her body is not coordinated, and she might be wanting to be more mobile and can't yet. Try to be patient, and try some of the suggestions from other moms.

Just love her and enjoy her, it'll all work out soon.

If you decide to help her adjust to the separation anxiety by walking away for awhile and then coming back, I would gradually work up to 15 minutes and not start out with that. Start out with just 1 minute of being in the room but not picking her up and then patting her, soothing her, talking to her and showing her some toys, not picking her up and repeat another minute. Then gradually work up to actually being out of sight for short periods of time and then longer periods of times.

Good luck and remember that this too shall pass. :-)

My daughter was that way at one day old. I use to have to sit her on the kitchen table in a bouncy chair so she could see me cook. Otherwise, she would scream. I would recommend a book called "The Baby Book" by Dr Sears. It talks about high need infant/children and was a life saver for me. It made me realize that there are other children like my daughter. She is now 5 and still very mommy oriented. But she is so loveable and we have a very close relationship. It takes real work to spend time with my husband because she is still so demanding, but i love her with all my heart. My husband has come to realize that the high need may be good as she gets older. My daughter is very sweet and gets upset very easily by other children. So she is learning how to treat people the way she wants to be treated and she understands the concept at 5. Good luck. I still refer to the book for my daughter!

M.,

It's so tough when you have things to do and a little one who needs your attention all of the time. As a parent coach, and a mom of 2 (6 yo and 2.5 yo), I completely know what you're talking about!

You know that hindsight is always a good thing. You're in the middle of this now, but a few months from now or a year from now you'll have that hindsight. I can offer you the gift of it now since I have been in your shoes as a stay at home mom who had 2 demanding little ones.

First, you can't spoil a baby. They are biologically built to want to be near you and to be close. You can't hold them enough. It provides security. Part of why your baby is whiny and demanding is because she picks up on your desire to leave her alone. Babies are really good at picking up on our feelings. They feel it in the tenseness of our bodies, our breathing, our exasperated looks and our short, abrupt, or sharp tone due to our frustration.

To provide a win-win for you and your baby, get a back pack (the Ergo is a great one!) and learn to put her on your back while you get the household tasks accomplished. If you're checking email, hold her in your lap or put her on the floor next to you.

Your baby feels insecure. Independence CANNOT be taught. It is developed. If you continue to leave her and get upset with her about her need to be with you, you will create a child who will become one of two ways:
1. Very demanding, tantruming, insecure, selfish.
2. Very detached, cold, and withdrawn.

At 6 months your baby doesn't want you to be with her, she NEEDS you. Wants and needs are not two categories for her. She is not manipulative. Manipulation is taught and children develop the skill to manipulate later on.

Please don't listen to the advice about how you can basically teach your baby not to need you. It is sick, uneducated, and not true. It is the modern American mother's ignorant advice for creating children who live in their heads and not their hearts.

http://www.noblemother.com

This is normal baby behavior and it is what teaches them about their world. It's not possible to spoil or hold babies too much. It is well known in child development that as their needs are met (for attention, being held, etc.) they learn to trust, and will be more independent and disciplined later if they establish that bond and trust. There are lots of baby slings, wraps, packs, etc. with which to wear baby on your body and keep her happy while you get things done. This stage lasts until 18 months. I was just reading today in a book by Michael Gurian that kids who weren't held as much as they wanted as babies often turn out to be narcissistic because they are seeking the rest of their lives for that bond and attachment.

You are not spoiling her, you are meeting her needs (that will allow her to be independent when she is older)

WEAR HER

http://www.theslingstation.com/

My two fav's are the Maya Wrap & The Mei Tai. For your needs, I'd recommend the Mei Tai, easy to wear her on your back. I found you can do that with the Maya wrap also (I found it more versatile) but it is not as easy with a 6 month old for back wearing (but very possible)

There are many options. Look beyond my recommendations. Ask moms that you see wearing their babies about their slings & how they like them. I guarantee, they'll be happy to share. You can search local baby wearing groups as well. It is always good to get help, it is an art wearing your baby. Can be hard at first getting the sling/baby adjusted just right.

I used my Maya wrap with my son up until he was 3 1/2 or 4. If he fell asleep in the car while I ran errands, Id wear him like a back pack so he could snooze while I got my shopping done.

Cant beat hands-free baby holding! Slings offer more comfort, contact & versatility over the Baby Bjorn type carriers.

P

It certainly helps to have a wrap, ergo or sling to put them in, then you both can get what you need. They are close to you and in an upright position (possible in the Moby wrap and ergo) and you are hands free to do whatever you need. It is great for children with colic, reflux, etc that need some extra TLC.
I have a local Raleigh site for these wraps if you want to check them out at www.CarryMeClosely.com

Best of luck,
D.

6 month olds need contact and I truly believe you can't spoil a baby. A three year old, yes, but not an infant. I agree with the others that say wear her. I wore all mine and they are very comfortable in their own skins.
Plus they are only going to let you be that close for a very short time and pretty soon you'll be the one craving that attention as your 4th grader says "Moooooom don't kiss me at school!!!" With some of my friends it's even happened at 1st and 2nd grade.
Enjoy your time with her, the house will get clean some other day.

We had a similar issue. My advice is to get a front pack and wear her. You can do almost anything while she is in the pack. Right now she is learning trust. This way she knows you are always there for her and you can actually function in a somewhat normal life..lol. Anyway, this doesn't last forever. But, with the pack we were able to carry on without completely destroying my back. My husband loved it. Still wears a back pack with our son and takes him everywhere that he can. My son gets excited when he sees the pack now. He knows hes going on an adventure. Good luck. By the way, don't worry about spoiling your child at this age. She's only wanting your comfort... why not give it to her. You'll have plenty of time soon enough when she becomes mobile... you'll never have to hold her.. and you'll miss it!

Hmmm......I guess my thoughts like somewhat in the middle between Becky's and all the moms who are going to tell you, "She has to learn to entertain herself - don't give in."

I was pretty much a "granola" mom, just so you'll know where I'm coming from. I did wear my babies in slings for a long time, and I had trouble letting them "cry it out".

My daughter screamed for much of the first 6-9 mos of her life. I felt so bad for her, because nothing seemed to soothe her, and the doctors said nothing was physically wrong. I thought she hadn't "bonded" and all those other things first-time moms worry about. Turns out she had sensory integration problems, and everything just felt bad to her. Once I was able to get her into OT and work on a home sensory "diet", she made amazing progress and was a much happier little girl. I'm not saying that's what's going on with your daughter - rather, I find it kind of amusing when we adults think we "know" what's going on inside of our babies. Much of the time, we do know instinctively, but sometimes, we don't. Just food for thought.

Wasn't it your daughter that had a yeast infection or something recently? I suppose she could be re-adjusting her inner "rhythms" after that. She's pretty young - I wouldn't worry too much unless you think there's a chance that whatever was going on with her a couple of weeks (?) ago might still be affecting her.

I know it's frustrating to feel like you can't get anything done, and to have an unhappy baby. I'd suggest trying to keep the "big picture" in mind......she won't be a baby for long, and you just may look back on this time and wish you could have more of it. Enjoy her as much as you can. :-)

Most babies are like yours at one point or another. It sounds as if you're not spending any floor time with her, like you just lay her down and walk away hoping she'll play with the toys left all around her. If she needs to be held, hold her. You're not spoiling her unless you carry her around all day long and don't put her down. Try reading colorful books to her while she's on the floor. My kids loved the Eric Carlisle books, you know the Hungry Caterpillar? Playing music, singing or talking to her as you do your usual housework will let her know she's not alone. Don't worry, it's just a phase! One day she'll find her autonomy and won't want you around looking over her shoulder.

She is probably spoiled from the colic. It is OK to let her whine and cry. I know it will get on your nerves and you will feel you are not good parents, but in the long run it will make your life easier. If you go to her when she does this or stay with her she will continue to do this. I know from experience, my 6 year old granddaugher was the same way and she has been our only grandchild and the only child of her parents and she still want undivided attenion so my advice to you is try you best to stop it now. Good Luck and God Bless

I am yet ANOTHER mom who is going to suggest wearing your daughter in a sling. My preference was the New Native Baby Carrier, which is super easy to put on and take off, and which we used from the timeour child was 2 months up to 3 years old.

Here is a bonus for wearing the sling: people often comment on my daughter's vocabulary and self-confidence, and I truly believe that having her right there beside me is a big part of why she developed that way.

Bonus #2: no need to hassle with baby strollers, especially navigating them around theMall at Christmas-time!

I must say, if she was older I would worry about spoiling her, but at this point I think the bigger issue is the whining. I have 3 girls so I know all about it(trust me it changes, but it doesn't stop any time soon) If she is ok with you just being near her why not try to just increase the distance a little at a time? My oldest was like that I ended up needing to keep her bouncy seat in whatever room I was in. That way she had a few toys to keep her busy for a few minutes then I was right there and it didn't take much to get her to calm down. I know a lot of people that have used the baby carriers, mine didn't like them, but most babies do. Lots of option it is just hard to find what will work for YOUR baby, because they are all different.
Good Luck to you and your husband, it will get better.

Hi M.,
I SO-O-O can relate to what you're going through. My now 9 year old daughter was exactly as you describe your daughter. I couldn't even take her shopping without holding her while doing so - otherwise she would scream. She did best in the car seat as long as the car was moving, but when it stopped - watch out! She would scream during the entire red light cycle.

I had mixed opinions given to me as to what to do. About half would tell me I was spoiling her and to let her scream it out. The other half told me that you can't spoil an infant. After attempting the "crying it out" for a couple of days and feeling that I was losing my sanity listening to her scream (plus it breaking my heart), I chose to pick her up most of the time (NOT after I put her to bed or naptime - I would let her cry it out then for a few minutes and then she would go down after about 10 minutes).

The reason why it wouldn't work while she was awake (letting her cry it out), is because she wasn't tired or hungry, nor did she need her diaper changed - she was just plain bored. I read somewhere the other day that patterned fitted sheets in the crib help calm a baby - something about the pattern intriguing them. Anyway, I figured out that my precious daughter needed LOTS and LOTS of stimulation! At six months there are lots of toys and things out there that might help. My daughter would not take a pacifier, either. I wonder about yours? That seems to calm some children.

By six months old, she shouldn't be as fussy. I have to share a story. I got her picture taken with the easter bunny at the mall when she was about six months old. She had been fussy during the hour before the photo while we stood in line, so I was holding her (no point in putting her in her stroller and letting her scream in line, right?) Everyone around could see that she was fussy. I was offered cookies and various toys, but nothing worked because she wasn't hungry and didn't care for the binkies and what-not. I figured that she would scream her head off once we got to the bunny, and figured that we would just forego the picture. The funny thing is, she stared at that bunny and laughed! She was not upset at all when she saw him up close. She smiled at me the whole time while she sat in his arms!

Kids are so funny - you just never know what will scare them and what won't.

My 9 year old daughter is still very challenging - I have written a post about it, but she is extremely loving and incredibly smart - everyone who knows her tells me that she is too smart for her own good. We know that God made her the way she is for reason, so we are praying that God will give us the tools to best develop her character and personality.

Just pray and keep loving her! Her purpose will be fulfilled. And pray especially for wisdom and patience! You will end up reaping many rewards.

Blessings

.

Hi. It sounds to me like you have High needs infant. She knows what she wants and how to get it. That's a wonderful trait for any person to have, its not so wonderful if you are to full time care giver.

First, go buy your self a Sling..not a snugglie or bjorn, and Ring Sling. Maya Wrap ect. I wore my DS while doing house work. My home wasn't spotless, but it wasn't a desaster. My DS's need for being held (for him wasn't that much) was also met. He spent many naps in the sling, and at 4 years old takes on his own...usually telling me to be quiet as he's trying to sleep. I am telling you this because you aren't spoiling your DC, you aren't inhibiting any sort of personal or emotional growth. According to researching babies that are worn cry less, are happier, and develop cognative ability more quickly.

Second, relax. For the next 18 years your home will not be a catalogue picture, and the food you cook prolly will not be gormet. Its fine all the same. YOu aren't a bad mommy or person because you want to fully meet the needs of your Daughter.

My daughter was like that from thew day she was born. I wore her in a sling which would instantly soothe her. It became second nature for us. We used the mai tai style sling and the hotsling pouch. I loved them and they were lifesavers. I could get housework done, go shopping, etc and she would be happy as a clam in her sling. As she as she became mobile she took off though and she wouldn't get back in the sling so don't worry, one day your daughter will not be as clingy.

When my babies were little my mother told me to keep them near me when I was doing things around the house and to talk to them non-stop. It was hard for me talk to someone who didn't talk back and my mom suggested that I sing to the baby. Hearing my voice worked. I didn't have to hold my babies non-stop for them to feel secure.

My daughter was like this. She needed to be held constantly until she could crawl, which didnt happen until she was 9 months old (probably from being held so much!) Nothing else kept her from crying - a sling, bouncy seat, toys, the car, nothing. I tried everything. She had to be held and you couldnt even sit down or lean on a counter without her wailing. She needed to be bounced. Anyway, it got better after she started crawling, not sitting, but crawling. Everyone said it would get harder once she started walking. For me it got easier because she was more independent. I dont think I got much done in those days. I dont regret the way I handled it though. In fact, I give myself kudos for being so there for her. I dont think you can spoil a baby. Being there for your daughter now will lead to a secure adult. I know its hard, but this will get easier and these days will fly by and seem like so long ago. You have one chance to do this part right, so my advise is to hold her - its what she needs right now. She will grow out of it but some babys need more than others. Just think, the toddler years will seem like a breeze in comparison! Trust me!

Good luck
L.

M.,
I can remember the frustration well. If your daughter is able to sit up pretty well you might want to invest in a backpack. Your daughter can sit behind you and see what's going on but you have your hands free to get stuff done. Both my kids loved it because they were close to me but I wasn't tied down by holding them.

Good luck,
L. D.

Get one of the carriers that Mom or Dad put on themself and the baby goes into the pocket. The stores have some that baby fits next to Moms stomach and some that baby fits next to Moms back. If baby still cries rush her to the doctor.

Wearing her would help. I think if just depends on the child and their personality/needs. Our oldest son (2 yrs old now) had to have one of us in the same room at all times. I could not go to the kitchen while he stayed in the living room. He would start fussing. He liked having me around. I couldn't get anything done, but I just looked at it as a phase. He didn't completely grow out of it. He still like someone with him when he is playing, but now that he is older we are working on him playing by himself...I will take him to the play room and he will play by himself at 5 minute intervals while I go do something. I always come back after 5 minutes. He just loves company so I will give it to him, but now that he is older I can explain that mommy has to go do something. My youngest could really care less if someone is in the room or not (he is 10 months old). I can leave him and he entertains himself. They have different personalities.

All that to say, it will pass. Just put her in a sling or something and start taking her everywhere around the house so you can get some stuff done. You are not spoiling her. This is just what she needs from you, just like food and clothing and other important needs. I know the whining can get on your nerves, but just remember she will not do this forever. Hugs to ya!

Hi M.! I feel your pain. Contrary to some beliefs out there...you can NOT spoil an infant with too much affection. Ever! They need your touch and love as much as they need it. My son was like this. He never wanted to be in his swing or spend much time on the floor. I surrendered and loved him and played with him as much as he wanted and did my stuff when he napped. Of course, there were plenty of times where something couldn't wait. In that case, I did put him in his activity center or bouncer while I quickly did what I needed to do. Even if he cried the whole time. Try to talk or sing or act silly while she's in there so she doesn't feel like "you've abandand" her. At six months she doesn't know that mom needs a few minutes so you have to keep her involved in whatever it is you're doing. If all else fails...get a sling but I think if she gains confidence that her mommy and daddy didn't forget about her she'll get better. It worked for us and I hope it works for you too! It makes it so much easier when they're older! :) Good luck to you!!

I'm sorry I haven't read the other replies, so hopefully I am not repeating someone else, but my children both loved their slings (purchased through la leche group) expecially my second child. I was able to walk around with him in it and have my hands free. it was comfortable for both me and him. I also believe they go through a bit of separation anxiety around the 6 month mark, so keeping her close will help. I don't think you can spoil them at this age. in fact everyone used to tell me that I was spoiling my kids by holding(wearing)them for the better part of the day when they were little, but they were wrong. I have two of the most independant children. in fact they are the only 2 in their preschool who have never cried or gotten upset when I left, ever. they just waved and went on to class. I think a lot of it had to do with the security from being comforted at an early age. Had I not had the sling though I would have only been meeting their needs and not my own at the same time. I think it was a great balance for keeping them happy and for me to get stuff done. as with everything though, this is a stage and it will pass. Try to enjoy the time with her and not get anxious over what you might need to do (she picks up on that too). of course, She just may not be ready for independant play at this stage of her development. Good luck with everything

A 6 month old is not spoiled. Anybody would love to be held and cuddled as much as possible, esp a new baby! A babys universe is very small. It used to consist of just your uterus, then it suddenly expands into this cold, bright, scary world. A baby needs constant reassurance and security. Baby likes to be held because the sounds of your heartbeat as well as your voice,the smell of you, the feel of your soft warmth, being wrapped in your arms reminds him of being back in the womb.
Baby eventually will learn that you can leave the room, and will come back at some point, thus the importance and universal concept of playing "peek-a-boo". A baby who is kept safe and secure, with all its basic needs met promptly will learn to be a secure, independant individual. One who does not feel safe and secure will continue to "cling". Baby needs to be fed and changed, kept warm and secure.
I hear you pleading for more time, (doesn't every new mom?) You could meet your own needs and babys better if you wore your baby on your back, in a baby carrier (not a sling, where you still have to use one arm to keep the baby from falling out) such as the Snugli or Baby Bjorn, keeping baby next to you, just as he was in utero, while keeping your arms free to do chores and other things. Using the backpack carrier also makes it easier on your back than carrying baby in your arms on in a sling. Many baby carriers can be used front or back.
There may also be other reasons why your baby is in constant need of you beside just for security. You can try massage, calming scents like lavender, more frequent feedings, or introducing other foods, or maybe baby is uncomfortable for some physical reason, like teething, or gas or some other kind of discomfort. Keep trying new things until you figure it out.

My first son also had colic until about 3-4 months and wanted to be held a lot. My other two children didn't have colic, but still wanted to be held a lot. I know exactly how you feel about not being able to get anything done, but babies do feel more safe and secure when they're held, and they want lots of attention from their parents. It isn't spoiling to give them this attention. Its appropriate for this stage, and if you give them what they need they move on to the next stage. If this is your first it might be new to you just how much constant attention they need because its such a change from before children. I gave my kids lots of holding and attention at the expense of keeping the house clean, etc., and now they're 14,11, and 8 and are very independent, but they still have a strong emotional bond with me. I'm just saying to hold her a lot, enjoy it even though its sometimes too much of a good thing, let the other stuff go a little, and don't worry about spoiling her with attention as its just what she needs. If you and your husband can trade off a little you can each get some time for yourselves which is important so you can come back refreshed to the baby.

Dear M.,

You need a sling. Preferably a good one, like the Over-The-Shoulder-Baby-Holder or the Maya Wrap or a soft cloth carrier like the Moby Wrap. These are not available in stores, but they can be purchased at many sites online. I am the mother of four young children, ages 8 yrs., 5 yrs., 3 yrs., and 10 mths. I have nursed them all and practiced attachment parenting with each one of them; and the sling has been a lifesaver. It has enabled me to give time and attention to my older children while nursing and caring for my younger ones. It has also allowed me to get housework and cooking done while wearing them. About the only things that I don't do while wearing a baby/child is to take a shower and boil water/deep fry! Each one of my children would not nap on their own, and so they napped in the sling while I went about my business. This enabled me to meet their needs while taking care of other things that needed attention. As for the thought that it might "spoil" them... Children are babies and toddlers for just a short period of time. This is the time when they need us most and learn to trust us. They learn independence through security. If we cannot be there for them at this time, then when will we ever be? Before you know it, your daughter will be walking, then running, and will want to be held less and less. My youngest daughter is 10 months old and weighs 24.5 lbs., and it does not hurt my back to wear her in my sling or wrap. One of the best benefits of wearing your baby is that it is stimulating to her, and she is able to be up on your level and view all that you are doing. She is absorbing all of her environment and all of the knowledge that comes with it. The sling was the best investment I ever made, and the only baby item I cannot live without. Good luck and enjoy your precious baby!

Warmly,
J.

Could she be teething? My oldest got his first tooth at 6 months. He wanted to be held constantly... if I was holding him and bent down to pick up a toy, he'd cry thinking I was putting him down. As long as he was in my arms he was fine. If you suspect, try an appropriate dose of Tylenol. If it makes a difference, your child might be in pain. If not, then it is a stage and they will eventually figure it out!

She may need more stimulation. Jonny Jump Ups are great entertainment for them. Also a walker or Exersaucer. Even though she is 6 mths being upright may be important to her. You could try putting her in her high chair with some cheerios in front of you when you are doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. Music may be a good thing for her while in a bouncy seat. My kids have grown to love REO Speedwagon and Journey. Me and my husband are stuck in the 80's. When you place her on the floor give her interesting things to play with like a couple of pot lids....banging on those babies will cause noise but much better then crying. I can handle any level of noise but crying. If the diaper is dry, the belly is full and you know there is no pain, there is no reason why you cant let her cry it out sometimes also. You just have to be able to cope with the noise.

Well I have a little one that just turned 7 months old and he started doing the same thing at around 6 months. It could be that you "spoiled" her but around this time some babies begin experiencing separation anxiety and that may be why she needs you or dad by her side. My son does it too. He's happy as a lark if I'm holding him or if I'm close to him playing. But he starts fussing if I put him down and walk away. I was beginning to think mine was spoiled too. But I got over that and just left him there and yes he threw a fit and cried but after a day or two of doing this he was fine. The good thing about her being so young is that she can correct a habit faster than if you let it continue for a long time. She needs to know also that if you leave her for a few minutes you will come back. Leave her for a few minutes (no more than 15) when she is crying, then walk in a speak to her and let her know your still there but don't pick her up. Walk away again for about another 15 minutes and repeat this. She will learn that you're coming back and she will learn to cope without you being right by her side. And be prepared, she's going to probably cry so hard that you're going think you are being mean by letting her do it but it's not mean. You are not hurting her, you are teaching her how to cope and entertain herself. Good luck.

Oh, I've been there!!! I'm a mother of four and canreassure you that this fussiness will pass. Let her fuss some (I know it's hard to hear them cry) but she will get used to the fact that you can't pick her up all the time. We used to rotate the babies every 15 minutes or so if they were unhappy(bouncer, playpen, etc.) Once she is a few moths older and moving she will be less frustrated and able to entertain herself better. This stage will pass-hang in there!
N.

I am along the lines of a nursing/attachment parenting kind of gal. I loved the guilty pleasure of holding my napping baby and watching a little quiet TV (aaaah, memories). She is only little once and at this age holding and loving only builds trust. You aren't going to spoil her. Try wearing a sling or baby carrier that works for you. When hubby gets home, let him give her one on one attention and you can take care of yourself. Talk to her tell her what you are doing. Make up silly songs about cleaning, cooking, driving, shopping, everything and she will be delighted. How often is it okay to sing silly songs in public? With a baby - always!!! You need time for yourself, so ask hubby or a grandparent or a sitter to watch her so you can breathe and come back to her happy to see her. ( :

I think what you are going through is probably normal. I would check her diapers, make sure she isn't hungry and then at the next dr appt I would tell him what she does and make sure that there is nothing wrong with her. If you have covered all of those basis and you know for sure that she is ok then there comes a time when you have to break her from being so spoiled. They are all going to be spoiled to point but you have to let them learn to self sooth at some point too or you will never be able to do anything and they will be dependent on you the rest of their lives. For example: I had to let mine cry in her bed when she was little for about 2 days and that was all it took. Now she is 27 months and she knows that she has to go night-night and that I can't hold her or sleep with her, so she lays down and sooths herself to sleep at night. She hardly ever cries and she does really well for herself. Now... being an only child, she still doesn't like me to ignore her and do my housework so that is where the creativity of motherhood comes in. I give her chores and get really dramatic with the bragging about what a good job she is doing to help me. Does she do a good job? For her yes, but sometimes she makes it worse and makes it worse when I am trying to clean up but she doen't know that. She thinks she is doing good and some day she will learn.
Another example: I have some computer games for toddlers. I have a laptop that you have to manouver your fingers over the spot (like a mouse) in order to play any games on it. We have done it so long that she can now maneuver the mouse and play the games herself and she is only 27 months. That is GREAT coordination for her age.
My point is, it is all in what you teach them. You teach your child to self sooth and she won't cry everytime you are not paying 100% attention to her. It is the hardest at first but it won't take but a time or two for her to cry while you are not holding her and then it gets better from there. At night sometime, put her on a pallet in the floor and put one of those toy things, whether it is the mat or one of those things that arch over them while lying on her back. She will cry at first but she will stop and if you can just bite your tongue those first couple of nights, it will get alot better. Just don't leave her alone totally. As long as she knows you are there, you just can't hold her 24/7, she will be alright. And you will realize that you are figuring it out as you go along.
Good luck.

She's a needy baby and will probably be a needy child. Do you have the einstin videos for babies? Get a few and let her watch, the music is beautiful, does she have a swing? That seems to help fussy babies. Mine were all pretty much like that, wanted attention alot. I got very little done, till they got older, but babyhood is so short that I savored every min. Good luck. The next stage will appear very soon, be flexible.