Funeral Gift? - Plymouth,MI

I like to take the non-traditional approach with gifts because everyone else will be generous with flowers.

As a cancer survivor, it's very clear when you face a terminal illness or the loss of a family member, how important people are in their lives.

Right now, they'll have all kinds of support, but as time goes on, fewer and fewer people will make themselves available. It's those random acts of generosity and kindness that really get you through.

So, I'd recommend something that makes their lives a little easier or more fulfilled currently. It sounds really strange, but if they're local, something as easy as a month's worth of yard work can go a long way. Our neighbors were displaced from their house a few weeks ago because of a fire, and we're taking care of their yard so it's one thing they don't have to worry about to get their lives back in order.

I'd also recommend a gift card to a nice restaurant so they can either bring food in or go together to reminisce about their father.
If you can get your hands on some photos, especially family favorites, setting-up something in an online photo gallery for all family/friends to view would be really great - or a nice framed picture.

If you know what he died from, you can also make a donation to a charity that supports those causes. So, for me, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is important. If he had a heart attack or stroke, it may be the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association, etc.

Good luck. It's very kind of you to do something.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm Italian, so the first thing my family thinks about is FOOD! LOL
Buy and take a Honeybaked ham or turkey breast and some buns, or get a gift card to their most used grocery store. It will come in handy--if not for immediately--for later.
If you go with money, I would try to give at least $50, $100 if you can. (Unless this is a very well-off family, then consider something like a memorial throw blanket, etc.)

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A fruit basket, when my dad died this past Dec 2nd my husbands work got us one and we enjoyed it more than flowers would have. When my father in law died Dec 22nd his work gave us a gift card for a restaurant.

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Hey there. When my mom died we had a lot of people come by and cook for us. I have done this for others as well. The family is too busy grieving and planning for a funeral to make sure they are still eating well.

I would suggest maybe dropping by with a healthy breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Also, we had some people just give us an envelope with money in it instead of donating somewhere...guess to help with funeral costs???

We did get a nice statue that came with a flower arrangement. I once gave someone a nice framed memorial poem.

Depending on their religion you could donate a mass in honor of her father...I am Catholic and we had this done for us a lot.

I think in most cases just being there and helping with what may seem like something small to you is enough. When my aunt died I was in charge of gum! Sounds silly but my cousins had to greet people and they were thirsty so they wanted gum to help keep their breath fresh.

Hope this helps! Take care and God bless =)

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Edible arrangements is AWESOME -so cheerful and the fruit is REALLy tasty. They have numerous arrangements with different styles, fruits, some chocolate-dipped, etc. I would keep it at $50 or under or send flowers for the funeral service unless they don't do that.

www.ediblearrangements.com - they have locations nationwide and are often in conjunction with a florist.

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A snack basket. Fruit, granola bars, maybe packaged cookies, some candy bars. Just some munchies for them while they are at the funeral home.

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If money isn't needed, you could just do a basket for your SIL. When my mom passed one of my friends made my boys and me a basket with some of our favorite things and comfort books for all (age approiate). They put in snacks the kids liked to go with their books and snacks I like with my Chicken soup for the mothers soul and a copy of understanding books for me. I believe one was the life after, can't remember the author sorry. But it was a gift from the heart and meant more than any amount of money because it helped us on many a day deal with what we had lost long after the fact.

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I would say a gift of money would be very appreciated by the family. Flowers are nice, but they don't last. Funerals are expensive and considering it was unexpected, the family may not be prepared for the huge expense.

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If you don't want to give money, I have been sending a gift tree to be planted in memory of the person. Watching it grow over the years is a consistant reminder of them. I have had great respose to those I have sent it to. I can't find the exact web site that I used, but try this one http://www.themagnoliacompany.com/seeds/?gclid=CLvBtePZ76.... Otherwise just search gift trees and I'm sure more will come up.

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i think around 50.00 to 100.00 also you can make some dinners and give it to them .

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You could also give to a charity that you support, since they don't list one of their own, in the memory of the your SIL's father. I don't think amount matters. Its just what you think is right.

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hmm, it might seem odd if there's no support this place...but if you're going to do it...I usually do what I would have spent on flowers for the family. So if you would normally spend $25 on flowers...send that or $50 on flowers...send that.

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We always go together with someone and either buy a tree or flowering bush for, your SIL in this situation, to plant at her house in memory of the person who passed. Sometime we get a tree that blooms in the month that the person passed. If you can't pick one out, we buy a gift certificate from Bordine for them to pick one out in their honor.

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How about giving something that "lives" in memory. Like a tree, bush or plants. I received a beautiful "Blue Spruce" tree when my mother passed so her memory lives and grows everyday. Another thought is a roll of stamps for all the thank you notes that they will be sending.

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unless the family is wealthy send a card with money. we always put in $50 when we can afford it. more if we can. and.... here is a big thing also. send it to whomever is in charge of the funeral / food stuff. we never just put it in the thing at the funeral home. sometimes the most random person in the family gets those cards and the money never gets to whomever is doing the funeral stuff. I know at my grandmothers funeral a cousin opened all the cards and swore there was only $80 total. we know thats not true as my brother in law put over a hundred in his card alone. and there were literally hundres of cards. but whoever is handling a funeral luncheon, the funeral costs etc.... can use the money to help defray costs. also whoever's house everyone congregates at (it was ours after my father passed away) will need help with things like keeping up with coffee, cream, food stuffs...

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I agree with the edible arrangements. It's beautiful and could help bring a smile to their faces. It's also healthy so for those who like to "eat away their pain" it'll help them stay away from the everyday comfort food. (Well, at least until it runs out.)

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i agree with shannon send what you would have spent my mil passed away recently and the money can really help or maybe send over some dinners these things are what we found most helpful

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Instead of cash, what about a gift card for the family. Suggestions would be their favorite restaurant, movie theater, etc. Something they could use and it would get them out and enjoy themselves.

I believe the father would want them to have a happy life and this would get them out and enjoy themselves.

The amount? What would you spend on flowers? I believe that they would appreciate anything you give them.

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