M.R. asks from Edmonds, WA on January 16, 2012
Funeral Etiquette
Hi mamas,
I'm leaving tomorrow for my beloved aunt's funeral service. I fly out Tuesday, spend all day with the family at the funeral events on Wednesday, fly home Thursday.
This is the first family funeral I've been to in a long while...do I still send flowers to the funeral home? To the cemetery? Or bring flowers to my other aunt's home who is hosting the family evening meal?
My aunt sacrificed her life to take care of the 'flock.' Meaning she never married after a tragic accident and premature death of her own father (my grandfather). There were 10 children total, 8 still at home. She cared for everyone. So she does not have her own children. We are all hers, and all grateful to her.
I appreciate any of your ideas.
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R.F. answers from Dallas on January 17, 2012
I would do something in her memory - like a donation to a charity, a tree planted in her name, or order food to be delivered to the home that is hosting the meal after the service.
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K.M. answers from Kansas City on January 16, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss... she sounds like an amazing woman.
Send the flowers to the funeral home. They will (should) help transport any flowers to the cemetary and can also deliver them to your other aunt's home.
I wish you safe travels.
5 moms found this helpful
M.L. answers from Colorado Springs on January 16, 2012
I believe the customary thing is to send the flowers to the funeral home. (Get a reputable florist, and be sure you give them the funeral home's phone number!)
You could ask your other aunt if there is anything you can do to help with the meal. If you have time to find any pictures of your late aunt and bring them along, that might be a blessing to everyone.
Isn't it great to have relatives to love? On this site, most of the ones we hear about are the nasty ones. So thank you for posting.
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☆.A. answers from Pittsburgh on January 16, 2012
Any and all of the things you mentioned would be appropriate.
Sure--sending flowers even though you'll be there is still appropriate.
Personally, I wouldn't bring flowers to the aunt that is "hosting" the dinner--wine maybe, or a simple bouquet of thanks, but not funeral-type flowers, of course.
Perhaps her children/family could make better use of a cash gift or food/food/grocery certificate/gift card?
You know them best--so use your best judgement.
Sorry about your aunt. :(
4 moms found this helpful
L.M. answers from Dover on January 16, 2012
If sending flowers you can either send them to the funeral home or to the "next of kin". Since she didn't marry or have children of her own, I would send to the funeral home.
Sorry for your loss.
3 moms found this helpful
P.K. answers from New York on January 16, 2012
I would bring flowers to my other aunt's home who is hosting the mean. If
you send them to the funeral home they might make it to cemetery, but they
may not unless there is a flower car. I am sure your aunt will enjoy the
flowers.
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R.M. answers from Cumberland on January 16, 2012
have them delivered to the funeral home-I am sorry for your loss-Auntie sounds like she was a pillar of strength and a very giving, unselfish lady.
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K.M. answers from Chicago on January 16, 2012
Call the funeral home, they will have the name of the florist who has all the information on where to send typically you send to the home so they are there for services and you take your arrangement home with you.
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C.S. answers from Las Vegas on January 16, 2012
I always felt the flowers brighten up the room during services. As well, I see a lot of people divert to the flowers when the emotions are too high. You will be okay with what ever you decide to do. Sorry for your loss.
2 moms found this helpful
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