44 answers

Funeral Dress Attire for Kids

My husband's grandfather passed away and the family will be attending the funeral. Of course, my husband and I will be dressed in the appropriate dark attire. However, my daughters (ages 3, 7 and 9) don't have any dark dresses. Would it be appropriate to have them all wear simple white dresses?

What can I do next?

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My daughter wore what she had and was comfortable for my grandmothers funeral and several others. I myself didn't were black. I guess i feel if its someone who has lived a full life i prefer to celebrate their life and not wear the dreadful black.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello,
Funeral attire is not as strict and traditional as it was in the past. The simple white dresses would be appropriate or the wearing of their grandparent's favorite color is also an option.

1 mom found this helpful

When I was 16 my dad passed away. Even though we could have worn dark colors, my mom felt it better for us to just wear something nice that we felt good in. Appropriately dressed up ...but color does not matter. I work a navy skirt with a White and Pink top....funny how that sticks 20 years later. I felt like it helped me be less depressed about the loss of my dad to be allowed to wear somthing "pretty". Even my grandmother approved!!

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My daughter wore what she had and was comfortable for my grandmothers funeral and several others. I myself didn't were black. I guess i feel if its someone who has lived a full life i prefer to celebrate their life and not wear the dreadful black.

1 mom found this helpful

Good Morning M.,
I am sorry for your loss, and will say a prayer for your family.
As far as clothing, bright clothing is now acceptable for all. This is truly a time to celebrate his life on earth and passing into a beautiful eternal life with our maker and saviour. If your husband's grandfather was alive, would he want to see darkness and pain for all of you? My guess would be that he would want you to remember him as a lively happy man. I know when my grandmother died, we mourned, but celebrated her life and knew she was right there with us. Dress your girls with life and not darkness.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello,
Funeral attire is not as strict and traditional as it was in the past. The simple white dresses would be appropriate or the wearing of their grandparent's favorite color is also an option.

1 mom found this helpful

Let your daughter wear what ever she has. The Lord does not judge on what you are wearing why should any one else.

Blessing on your family,
S.

1 mom found this helpful

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss and I hope that your family finds a way through this together.

As for appropraite dress, when my grandparents passed away I let my son dress in comfortable clothes that were not your typical "funeral attire"- he wore khaki shorts for one and khaki pants for the other and both times white polos and I allowed him to wear (clean) gym shoes. Also since times have changed so has what is appropriate. So as long as your kids are comfortable in their little white dresses it is definately fine!

Again I am sorry for your loss and will say a prayer for your family!
Many blessings to you and yours!

M.
My condolenses for your lost. The best dress attire is white your husband grandfather is going to glory.
Amen

i am very sorry to hear about your loss. on July 1st my uncle had passed away also from cancer. For us, we are allowed to wear dark or either white clothes. you can always put navy blue on your children, that is also considered dark.

Hi M.,

Sorry for your family's loss. As far as clothing goes, these days people don't really stick to the black for funeral idea. I have seen daughters and wives in lovey soft pink dresses looking soft and pretty, I think it's wonderful It's like they are looking so nice for the one who had passed, how they would like to see them dressed. Let your little ones look like children, it will be fine.

My kids grandfather recently passed away and my daugther (6) wore a floral dress because that is what she wanted to wear for grandpa. I dressed my son (age 2) in navy pants and a white top with a tie. Although the tie didn't last, it came with the shirt, which I found on sale the year before never thinking I would use it for a funeral, but it worked. I think as long as the kids are comfortable, let them wear whatever they want. I did take a change of clothes so my daughter could change for the trip home (it was an hour away).

If they only have white I see nothing wrong with it. The service should be a celebration of his life. Your children are his future. Did he like any type of flowers? I would have the girls ware a special flower for him.

Focus on being "dressed up" and respectful/simple.
It will bring a comfort to the rest of your family to have everybody present at the funeral. Be prepared with coloring books and/or be ready to take your three year old out of the room if necessary (depending on your youngest daughter's ability to sit quietly during the funeral).
Take time to explain ahead of time about your beliefs about death and things that they will see/hear at the funeral so that you can assess each child's comfort level in attending the funeral. Take the time to discuss this afterwards too.

Please know that not everybody wears black to funerals. I would not suggest buying anything new unless whatever is counted as "dress clothes" is too small/too tight because of recent growth spurts.

I would not have them wear white, I would have them wear something floral, like sun dresses. Your Grandfather would want them to be bright and colorful. that is what he would want to remember them by. I am sorry for your loss May he find comfort in the hands of Jesus.

Dear M.:

One question: Why are you going from dark to white?
Seems a little extreme - don't you have anything in between?
Just nice dresses, not necessarily white.

D. G.

I think the important thing is that they are neat and wearing dresses. It doesn't matter what color, but they are showing respect by wearing the dresses, rather than jeans, shorts, and flip flops, as so many parents let their children wear, no matter the occasion.

Yes. I don't think anyone expects children to wear dark clothing to a funeral. It's more important that they are comfortable. Comfort = less fidgeting!

totally fine. anything that they would wear to church would be fine.

Last year we had to attend a funeral for my aunt. I was more concerned that the girls be cool and comfortable. We did go for darker colors though not black. One girl wore a dark blue sleeveless dress with white polka dots and the other wore a darker sleeveless dress with a leaf pattern. White might be a bit bright but really it is more important that the girls be comfortable--and therefore more likely to be wuiet and respectful. Every family is different--ours probably wouldn't be offended with young kids in white clothes (they would be more concerned with kids who are agitated and disruptive). If it would make you feel more relaxed that the girls are in darker clothes and you have time, maybe a quick run to Once Upon A Child would net some darker dresses for a reasonable price.

Hi M. - the moms below are right! No one expects kids to dress in dark colors like the adults do. And with your 3 year old, if she runs around and gts bored, that is also very expected at that age. So sorry for your loss. Just dress your girls the way you want and don't worry about that. My condolences!
E.

I really think kids can get away with nearly anything. Especially when they are that small. As long as they are neat, don't you think they will be like a breath of sweetness in an otherwise somber event? I can't imagine anybody would expect you to buy "funeral clothes" for small children.
Sorry for your loss just the same.

OF course it would. They're children, go with something they already have. I've never understood buying clothes for children that they would only wear once, for one certain event (weddings, funerals, photos, etc.) (to a wedding, being IN one is different)

I think it would be very appropriate & also symbolic of the new life in heaven that their grandfather has entered.

It will lift people's hearts to see three beautiful little girls in white.

May God bless your family andd keep the Grandfather in his care.

M., First of all sorry for your loss. I just had my grandfathers wake and funeral and all the great grand children were wearing all different colors from pink to blue to green. I think anything you put them in will be fine. My grandmother wore purple for the wake and green for the funeral. Hope this helps

Jen

Yes, the kids should be fine. Sadly, my own kids have attended too many funerals in the last three years. Any color would be good for kids. You'd be surprised to see other people wearing colors. These days, not everyone wears only black.

Sorry for your loss.

Yes M., that would be absolutely appropriate, sorry for your loss.

V.

Unfortunately, we've had several family deaths in the last two years. Our son is five, and we just put him in something comfortable but nice, regardless of color. He's worn khaki shorts with a polo, or khaki pants with a polo. The most important thing is that your children are comfortable, otherwise they'll have more reason to disrupt the event. What we've also noticed is that the traditional dark attire is no longer so traditional. We've seen widows wearing red and attendants wearing pastels. Just dress the kids nicely and you'll be okay.

Absolutely. No one expects kids to dress in dark clothing. I think the white is a nice touch. My mother-in-law passed away this past winter. Our boys, 3 and 5 at the time, wore nice sweaters and navy corduroys. Hope this helps.

So sorry about the death in your family. Something dressy and respectful - not even necessarily the same color unless that's what you have. So sorry - we went through this last summer.

Absolutely. My daughter wore pale pink for her great-grandma's funeral, and an Elmo dress for a friend's son (at my friend's request). Kids are not held to the same expectations.

In some cultures white is consider the color of mourning not black. I think that about anything goes.

My condolences on your family's lost.

J.

Sorry for your loss.

I am kind of surprised I don't see more responses like I am going to say. About 20 years ago, I saw a new trend where the deceased asked those attending their funeral to not wear dark colors. I hear more and more of that every day now.

I admit, I have a hard time following it. But I hear it A LOT now.

Take care.

When I was last at a funeral I have seen kids wear a nice pair of shorts. Sometimes its fitting to wear colors. Children especially comfort needs to be considered and I have seen kids bring electronics as well. C.

M.,
I am sorry to hear of your loss.The children should wear nice dresses as if "Sunday Best", no bear shoulders, no flip flops, we just yesterday attend my husbands uncles funeral he was a Marine Vet & retired Police Officer with graveside service with Marines present all the children mine included were dressed in Sunday Best. Hope this helps.

J. O

Try to avoid bright colors that say "I'm going to a party". Other than that, little kids do not have to wear black.

Sorry for your loss.

My husband is a funeral director, so I have first-hand knowledge of your situation. Like weddings, funerals have become very relaxed and comfortable. Adults do tend to wear the traditional black, as a sign of mourning. It is proper etiquette for children however, to wear items of color. As long as they are not "too casual" and look nice, you shouldn't worry about what they are wearing. I'm sorry for your loss.

M..

My Mom passed away June 7 of this year 3 days before my daughters 5th birthday. My daughter had a pink dress picked out that she had planned for her party. Since Granny wasn't able to physically attend her party my daughter wore her birthday dress to her funeral. She got so many compliments. For children anything goes. The little girls at my Mom's funeral had on sun dresses and sandal. My niece wore a white sun dress and added a red bow to it. It is what ever makes you comfortable.

We also looked at it as my mother would not have wanted us to go out and buy clothes for the children. She was a simple person and we wanted the celebration of the end of her life to represent who she was.

D.

When I was 16 my dad passed away. Even though we could have worn dark colors, my mom felt it better for us to just wear something nice that we felt good in. Appropriately dressed up ...but color does not matter. I work a navy skirt with a White and Pink top....funny how that sticks 20 years later. I felt like it helped me be less depressed about the loss of my dad to be allowed to wear somthing "pretty". Even my grandmother approved!!

Dear M.,

Sorry for your loss...I just attended my father in-laws service at the end of April and my niece had a floral dress on and no one seemed to make any issues over what the kids had on...Don't stress too much on the girls dresses unless there is a big cultural deal with colors...I am Asian and if I wore red or any bright colored outfit to a funeral unless the deceased was over 80 it would be considered a big no-no...So if you don't have any of those cultural things to worry about go with what you feel comfortable with. Again, sorry for your loss.

The little one would be fine in any outfit that she is comfortable in. My thoughts on the older two are any type of "Sunday" clothes or party clothes are okay. My dad recently died and my 8 year old son had a full navy blue suit, white shirt and tie from his communion so he wore that to the funeral, but a plain white dress shirt and tie with Mickey Mouse on them on the day of the wake. My 4 year old daughter wore her Easter dress one day and another favorite little sundress the other day. Other children that attended wore all sorts of colors and clothes, just not jeans and you are probably fine.
Sorry for your family's loss. Taketime to explain that you are saying goodbye to their great grandpa that day, and be sure to make yourself available to talk about any questions they might have about what they see and hear that day.

I do not think it matters what children wear to a funeral especially when they are that young. I think people understand that they are just kids. I think maybe dressing them up nicely would be just fine simple white dresses are perfect.

Have you seen the way people dress for funerals these days?!?! Just the fact that they will be wearing dresses is appropriate. It doesn't matter if they are dark or not.

Just dress them nicely in church attire.

If anyone is going to judge you at a funeral for not decking your kids out in the latest funeral attire, then they're not very Christian.

I don't think people go by the 'wearing black to the funeral" rule anymore. I especially think it wouldn't apply to kids. Their simple white dresses sound fine.

My sympathy for your loss.

Yes, especially if you are christian, because white is the color of resurrection, the hope for you husband's grandfather.

yes you can wear white its ok, I will keep you in my prayes

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