17 answers

Frustration...one Year Old

I am really having a difficult time with my 13 mo old. I would greatly appreciate some input.
My daughter started solid foods/table foods about 2 months ago...until that point I made all her babyfood for her and she was drinking formula. She started on solids slowly and it took her a long time to fill her belly, so we always gave her a cube of food or a quick jar to go with it-along with helping her eat. Today, she won't let us feed her. She shakes her head violently back and forth and purses her lips together...but she won't even feed herself. I don't give her something to drink first and I have been fixing a variety of things for months. What was her favorite and she gobbled it up...she is throwing across the room. We stopped throwing/dropping foods 2 weeks after she started on solids. If it is fruit, she will eat it quick but anything else she refuses. What can I do and why is she behaving like this?
Additionally, she is fighting sleep. I usually rock her to sleep and what used to be a 10 min ordeal is now 20-30 minutes. She flat out doesn't want to go to bed-AT ALL. I have adjusted her schedule to see if that helps and even tried letting her kinda run the show lately.
Her norm is up at 6, down by 9 for 1-1.5 hours, back down by 2pm for 2 hours and in bed by 8pm.
Yesterday, she was up at 7am, down at 10:15am till 11:45am, didn't take her afternoon nap till 4:30pm to 6:30pm and wouldn't go to bed till 10pm.
So...today she got up at 6am (she went down at 10pm instead of 8pm). It's now 12:30pm and she is still awake. I refuse to rock her because all she is doing is playing (basically anything to stay awake). She has got to be exhausted and she is in her room laughing and shrieking high pitched noises.
I don't know what to do....HELP!!!!!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I dont know what to tell you about the feeding situation, but the sleeping one sound very similar to what my 14 month old daughter is doing.
Her sleep patterns have been changing when a developmental stage is coming.. She started waking in the middle of the night and not taking naps at the normal time, and then a week later she started crawling, and then again before she started walking.. So it can just be that something is going to change with her soon.
I would just try to deal with it and see what happens.
My little one just the past few nights has woken up and screams at the top of her lungs, i would take her in bed with me and she would stop.. But i put a stop to that one quick. I had to let her cry it out last night and she slept the whole night and is still sleeping, and its 6:45am...

More Answers

Keep trying....this is completely normal. My son used to love veggies and now refuses anything green! I also made his food and I am now making my daughters food. They love one thing one day and the next thing you know they won't touch it. So keep offering a variety, but let her eat just what she likes. Some things that worked for me: peaches, sliced cheese, lean turkey, avacado, bananas, strawberries, all of these cut into very small pieces ofcourse. I know it is frusterating but just when you think you've got it down they change the rules!!! Shouldn't this job require some sort of degree? :)
Good Luck!

2 moms found this helpful

R.,
I know how frustrated you are, my daughter did that for a while too. I don't know if you do or not but try not to show your frustration. She is going through one of her stages. In regards to the food- I would just continue to try different foods and she will come around- try to be patient. In regards to the sleep- I am really familiar with this. My daughter would fight it as well. What i did is I would put her in her crib and I put a side mobile on her crib so she could turn it off and on, she would sit in her crib and talk (baby talk) to herself and then finally fall asleep. If they are tired enough they will get bored of just sitting there and go to sleep. I would give that a shot and maybe you can put her in her crib with the mobile instead of worrying if she is going to fall asleep while rocking her or play. Best of luck and have a Happy Holiday

1 mom found this helpful

Hey R.! I have had great success with all 3 of my kids, and although the youngest 2 are 10 months old, i've had a lot of experience in both the eating and sleeping dept!

First of all, eating. When my first son started eating solids, he got very picky..and it actually frustrated the hell out of me until i decided that he would eat when he was hungry, as long as i wasn't filling him up with junk before meals. (which i have never done...i've always been very anal about feeding sweets, so my son really doesn't even know what candy is unless it's a very special occasion.) It really does work when you just dont feed them. If all your daughter will eat is fruit...don't feed it to her first. Give her the meat or veggie first and if she refuses, say "okay..this is all you are going to eat until dinner", and take the plate away until dinner time, then try the same thing again. They will eventually get the point that all you are going to feed them is what is put in front of them. Trust me, your daughter won't go hungry!!

As for sleeping...i've also been very tight with putting my kids to bed at a certain time EVERY day/night, naps and bedtime. I think if you stick with the same time they start getting sleepy at those times. I have never rocked any of my kids, so they never got used to it. But i can say, if you want to stop rocking your daughter, i would just get a nap & bedtime routine going. Read your daughter a book, and say "okay we're going to read a book, and then it's naptime or bedtime" when you're done reading, say "time for bed", and put her in bed, give her a kiss, whatever...and close the door. If she continues to play, go in the 1st time and say, "this is not play time, you need to take a nap/go to bed" and walk out. The 2nd time, you just lay her back down in bed firmly, and walk out. Keep repeating without saying anything until she finally falls asleep or stays in bed. (might take a while) My son will play for maybe a half hour at nap & bedtime before he falls asleep, but he is not allowed to get out of bed and knows that. Of course when he was still in his crib, like i'm assuming your daughter is, he would just play with his stuffed animals and fall asleep. Oh, you can even give her a special blanket to fall asleep with to make it more secure since you are going to stop rocking her. I really think it helps if you take the rocking part out.

I hope this helps...just keep routine and stick with it. I know you will see a big difference!!

1 mom found this helpful

What the Doc's say is that a baby won't starve herself- she'll eventually eat...keep offering foods-especially favorites. If she continues to not eat, check in with her ped. As for the sleeping, maybe its time to drop her morning nap and just have one per day. Some babies stop needing that second nap when they are 1, when my youngest was ready to go down to just 1 nap a day, he got very mad when i would try to put him down and cry and fight sleep, when up to that point he would just lay right down and go to sleep. Now that he's only taking 1 a day he's back to going right to sleep, will even lay on the floor w/ his bear if he gets tired a little early. Hope this helps and your lil one starts co-operating again!

I recommend you start attending your local La Leche League meetings. If you go to http://www.lllusa.org/ and click on Find a Local Group at the top of the page, you will locate a group near you. You will find new friends and hear the most delightful stories of creative, compassionate solutions. Happy Holidays, R.

When my son was 12 months old he did the same thing.. pursed lips, batting at the spoon.. wanted nothing to do with baby food. We were on vacation in Australia visiting family at the time so it stressed me out even more.. until I figured out that he didn't want baby food anymore. He wanted what his mommy, daddy and big brother were eating. As long as I gave him something that he thought I was eating, and let him do it himself (even though this was extremely messy) he would nibble here and there. It was just a phase that lasted a frustrating 4 weeks but now he is a good eater again. I can relate with how you must feel.. it is so frustrating.. but it will pass. Good luck and happy holiday's.
Best,
M.

It sounds like your daughter is moving into toddlerhood:) She is becoming independent and testing the waters and your patience. All she is trying to do is find out her limits and boundaries. Be firm in what you expect and do not give in.

What type of table foods are you offering her? How many teeth does she have? Try giving her what you eat at meals, just cut it up really small. She might not be interested in what you are feeding her or is bored with the foods. Change it up, spice it up whatever it takes to make it more interesting. We used to give my son frozen peas and he ate them like candy. He seriously thought they were the best thing ever! Give her choices at meal time. Put cut up cooked carrots, small cubes of cheese and cut up cooked ravioli's(the good kind, not the kind from the can) on her tray and walk away. Start doing the dishes etc. and before you know it she will be eating. I always gave my children fruit like it was a dessert. I only gave it to them if they ate everything else. My son also liked cheerios with milk and started eating it like that with a spoon at 10 months. Just give her the opportunities to be independent and she will stop rebelling against you.

As for bedtime, once again, don't give in. Remember you are the mom and she is the child. I am totally for rocking to sleep, but if the child does not fall asleep within ten minutes I definitely would put the child in the crib to try to fall asleep on their own. If she is playing and squealing, quietly go in and tell her to use a quiet voice in the house. Children can understand so much more than we expect from them and you will be surprised at how, before long, she knows the rules of the house. Merry Christmas and Good Luck!

I dont know what to tell you about the feeding situation, but the sleeping one sound very similar to what my 14 month old daughter is doing.
Her sleep patterns have been changing when a developmental stage is coming.. She started waking in the middle of the night and not taking naps at the normal time, and then a week later she started crawling, and then again before she started walking.. So it can just be that something is going to change with her soon.
I would just try to deal with it and see what happens.
My little one just the past few nights has woken up and screams at the top of her lungs, i would take her in bed with me and she would stop.. But i put a stop to that one quick. I had to let her cry it out last night and she slept the whole night and is still sleeping, and its 6:45am...

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