Frustrated Potty Training

Be patient and don't force the issue. Talk about it daily and let her go when she is ready. Both my boys, now 6 & 3 were ready at different times. My 6 year old was potty trained at 3.5 and my 3 year old was ready at 30 months. I never made them go to the offer, I only offered it to them. One day they said they wanted to go on the potty and we never looked back.

Julie C THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT PUTTING AN AGE ON POTTY TRAINING! So many people are told they they are too young to potty train and you are so right about over seas they do train their children early and don't have a problem with it. I am starting PT with my 15 month old twins this month so good luck C.. I read a book that said to teach them to have a bowel movement first since urination often comes with it. I never heard of that before but thought it was a different approach. Not sure which one I will try but I have heard that the regular panties do help them understand the wetness better. Gerber makes training pants without the plastic liners. They are shaped like underwear just a little thicker so it helps a little bit. We just bought them yesterday and they come in all sizes (from 18 months to 36 months) and we start next week!

You're not going to want to hear this, but it's time to back off for a little bit. It's become a major power struggle and she will win but you both will be miserable in the process. If you back off for a couple of weeks and then try again you may have more success. Most studies are showing that 2 may be too young to start anyway. A lot of kids just aren't ready. Trust me she won't be in high school in diapers. Eating and potty are the 2 things your toddler has complete control over and she's gonna do it her way. Once it stops being an issue with you both I think she'll start to want to use it herself. Just give the both of you some time and patience.

C., although I know you already know this, the 'fight' will only make it more difficult. She is by NO MEANS behind in potty training. Most kids I know (I'm literally talking DOZENS) are not potty trained until 2 1/2 to 3 years old. It takes time, readiness on the child's part and, most of all, patience on your part. Keep trying, keep doing what you're doing, and remember it takes many kids up to a full year to really be 'trained' to use the potty. Don't punish accidents, reward successes, and remember that the more you struggle the longer it will take. Be patient!
Good luck to you!

I have had false starts with my 2 yr old too. Just read an article in The Tribune- just this past Sat. that should wait til 2 1/2 for girls to start training. So you may want to take a 2 month break & start again. She sounds like my daughter, kind of ready but not quite.

Huggies & pampers have training videos you can get for free. Maybe helpful or somewhat helpful. If not helpful you can give it to someone else who may need it.

Re: rewards. You just need to find what works for her which is not always easy.

I think you are doing the worst thing you can do, you are forcing. If there is screaming involved, it will never work. I wouldn't worry about her being "delayed" until 3.5! My son was 3.3 when he trained and he was ready and did it in one week! He won't be 4 until April and he is even out of pull ups at night already. I completely left him alone even though he couldn't move up in school until he was out of diapers. I just mentioned it to him every now and then and offered to take him shopping for underwear. After many "no"s, one day he said yes and that was it. I would just stop all together and tell her that when she is ready to be a big girl and go shopping with you for special underwear to let you know. You can't force it, it will not work!

I am currently in the middle of potty training my oh-so-stubborn 33 month old daughter. Here is what I have learned... You can't force potty training. No matter how much you want her to go on the potty she is not going to do it on your time. The harder you push it the more she will resist. All you can do is introduce her to the potty and tell her what you want her to do with it. She will take it from there. When you change her diaper remind her that pee/poop goes in the potty, but don't force her to sit on the potty. Remember, all kids are different, and a lot of girls aren't fully potty trained until after they turn 3. My daughter responds well to candy rewards. It's the only time she is allowed to have candy so it's special. She gets M&M's for pee and a lollipop for poop. I hope this helps.

I was jsut reading through your advise to get a little for myself as I would like to train my daughter ASAP.
You got a lot of discouragment from people saying that your daughter is too young but I have to disagree--My daughter has understood pee pee on potty since she was like 7 months old. She is now 16 months old and she will tell me pee pee and then I run her over to the potty and take off her diaper and place her on the potty.
Sometimes she goes and sometimes I'm too late.
My point here is not to be discouraged about her age. Children in 3rd world countries where diapers are not available are potty trained by the time they can walk and they dont have near the advantages of American children do. Its not too early - don't worry!
You got lots of great ideas too that I, myself am excited to try (like letting her pick out big girl panties - they may eb easier for her to pull up and down too than the pull-ups)
Good Luck and let me know if anything worked for you.
Thanks
@}~>~~

My advice is don't make going potty a negative experience. She is still young, and maybe not ready to start using potty. Take a laid back approach, and don't worry about it for awhile. Then, she may start to show interest in going after you stop "forcing" the idea. Good Luck :-)

All children are different. Some potty train early and some later. My daughter didn't potty train until she was 3 1/2. I pulled my hair out just trying to teach her. What a waste of hair! They will learn when they are ready. The more you force them, the longer they take. Just because she is not potty trained does not make her delayed, just her own person. Good Luck.

28 months is a little early to expect her to be potty trained. Most kids I know only just start using the potty at that age and even then is periodic, sporadic and not consistent at all. The best you can do is to keep the potty nearby and help her if she suggests using it. If she goes in her diaper and tells you afterward, she is doing this next stage exactly as expected and it is best to just calmly change her without showing disappointment or anger/frustration. She will come around and show interest in her own time. Every kid is different!

Once she is able to put it together about getting to the potty and eliminating before going in her pants, then she will be ready for training. Until understands about releasing in the potty first, she will only be frustrated about being forced on the potty, and with you getting upset with her for not knowing how or her wanting to participate yet etc. If it were me, I would totally back off and let her lead. As with any natural bodily function such as eating, sleeping and feelings, you can't really force them to do it on your schedule or convenience without a battle and it's easier (and more enjoyable for all!) to follow their natural lead. I would still encourage her, be happy for her when she does make a small step or get it right and really focus on NOT getting upset or worrying about how quickly she will grasp this concept. Don't worry....she's not going to be heading off to college in diapers! Best wishes!

My oldest daughter was potty trained before two years of age and the youngest one at two years of age. I had the girls potty chair sitting in the bathroom next to mine. When I went potty they went potty. No problems....The first one trained herself. The second one needed a little encouragement. I took her to town and let her pick out her own pretty panties and she was told she couldn't wear them until she stopped messing her pants. The day after we bought them she never messed her panties again. Your biggest mistake is leaving her in a pull up or diaper. Put her in training pants. When they get wet or messy she will be uncomfortable and it will speed the process along...

My daughter was potty trained 9 days before she was 2yrs. I wouldn't use the pull ups or diapers because the children know the pull ups are basically the same things as diapers. My daughter ran around with no bottoms on and a big t shirt. (When we were home). They understand then nothing is there to catch what their releaseing. So, try not using the diapers or pull-ups anymore. At night, avoid them as well. Also, take her to the bathroom everytime you go. Children love bubbles and I used the bubble trick. Meaning, everytime they go potty in the toilet (normal toilets, their potty makes bubbles, especially boys. The poo part is fun for them when they can watch it dance down the hole or make out all the digusting colors. Try a penny jar. They dont know the difference yet of value. Get a bank or jar or bucket she can paint and or decorate and let her put a penny in for everytime she uses the potty. Make a big deal out of the toilet when she is done. Praise her and jump around like full of excitement for her. Let me know

C., please just be patient with her. My daughter Hailey is is now 40 months was just completely potty trained except for at night just a month ago. We've been working at since she was 22 months. I would give her snacks and that sometimes worked. Then I tried and bought some panties and told her she couldn't make her Dora's wet or dirty. We had accidents, but then I put her back in a pull up. Her father and I are going through a divorce and I've been in a new relationship. She was almost potty trained back in Sept and then her father left the state and we went back to square 1. Hailey would even refuse to potty until you put a pull up on and then she'd pee and poop. Well one morning in December she woke up and told me she wouldn't make Dora wet or dirty any more and she hasn't had an accident since.
It just takes some time and patience. You don't want to force her because then she'll get more stubborn and show you she's not going to go. It's scary for them as well as exciting to be a big girl. I constantly told Hailey she was a big girl and big girls went pee and poop on the potty like Mommy. Now she's so proud of yourself. Anytime there is change like you said she was in daycare and now she's not. It's a set back and you just have to give her time and a lot of patience. Hang in there sweety it gets better.

C., my son started telling me he was wet or soiled at 18 months, he'll be 3 in March and has been potty trained now for only 2 months. I keep the potty nearby but I never forced him to use it. I just asked every morning and every night if he was ready to use the potty like a big boy and we talked about it daily. Finally one morning I asked and he said yes and we went straight from diapers to underwear that day and he's only had 3 accidents in 2 months. When they are ready, they are ready. Good luck,
A.

Try hiding the diapers or getting rid of them and then let her pick out her "special" panties at the store. If she likes princesses, Hannah Montana, or something like that get those kind of panties. Explain to her that we do not want to get the princesses or Hannah wet so we have to go in the potty. You can also get the undies with the plastic on the outside, if you prefer those. Have you tried candy as a reward? I just pottyed trained my 2 year old niece this Christmas and she loves those candy sticks. Every time she sent in her potty she got some of those candies. We also had a potty song, it goes something like:
Pee Pee go in the potty,
Pee Pee go in the potty,
Pee Pee go in the potty,
Woo hoo!
She liked it, especially when I had a silly dance to go along with it. At first she tried to not want to go on the potty and she did the screaming thing, but I kept on taking her anyways and now she tells us when she has to go.
Good Luck on what you do and hang in there she will get it soon!