Frustrated Mom Needs Advice on How to Get 1y.o. into Crib

Updated on February 11, 2008
N.D. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
9 answers

I have a one year old daughter that is still sleeping with her father and I in our bed. It's beginning to become a problem because we're both losing sleep over her constant tossing, turning, and wanting to breastfeed all night. I've tried letting her cry herself to sleep in her crib but, this has never worked either because I can't deal well with the crying or she gets herself so upset that she throws up.I know it's better for her well-being but, I don't know what to do next. Can anyone give me some ideas please?

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S.H.

answers from Pocatello on

Super Nanny is right along with the rest of these responses. Do it in gradual steps. Super Nanny taught to stay by the crib and then gradually move away from the crib each time you put the child back in the crib. IE: sit on the floor by the crib and make no eye or verbal contact. And then as the child calms down, scoot a foot or two away and then repeat until the child is going to sleep continually with you out of the room.
It will not happen over night, but the work and effort pays off.

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K.D.

answers from Missoula on

I've gone through this before with one of mine. We ended up puting a crib mattress on the floor next to our bed for awhile. This seemed to work pretty well since she's close to us but not tossing around in the night in our bed! Eventually she went to her own room but this was a good step. I've also tried sitting on the floor very quiet next to her while she's in her bed while she's trying to settle down and go to sleep. Sometimes it worked, other times not.

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T.W.

answers from Casper on

Hi N.,

Have you tried sitting with the 1 yr. old until she goes to sleep and then gently put her in the crib? When my four year old was still in her crib I would dim the light and hold her until she was asleep. Of course sometime during the night she would wake up again so I would do it all over again. My daughter also did the cry so hard she would make herself sick and I had to let her do it because I was soo exhausted.. She eventually went to sleep but she slept more soundly after crying her little heart out. So maybe you should just let her cry. Is there anyway you can put her down before you and your husband go to sleep? That is also what I had to do .. I also got caught up on my sleep when my youngest was napping.

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B.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Ok, i had my son co-sleep with us for the first 6 months and also breast fed. when i went to put him in his own room, i did it in steps as mentioned before me. I first fed him, he fell asleep, and put him to bed in the basset, but you have a bigger kid, so put the crib in your room for a week. then move the crib back in the room, and rock the baby to sleep as you feed her. the baby will cry for a min or two , waking in the middle of the night, but it will be ok.

I don't know what a niney.o. is, but i suggest that she either 'deals' with this, or takes the couch, or you get her a futon. your child needs a night time routine, and this waking at night might be a month thing. I am almost 27, so i understand. i have a 5yr old boy,and i did this while my husband suffered PTSD after coming back from iraq.

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J.L.

answers from Provo on

Our oldest son did not like to sleep in his crib either when he was bout 1. We had double bed in that room at that time.
So I put large pillows on each side and him in the middle. He slept great. Even if you have to lay down with your little one for a few minutes it might work. It solved our problem. Good Luck! J. L

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K.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You are in for something that is going to take place in steps. THis isn't going to happen overnight--just like you didn't let the habit form overnight. The first step is gong to be to stop the nursing. One of the things that you are battling is the nursing on demand. As soon as you stop that you will have overcome a huge part of the battle. A one year old should be able to fall asleep on their own after waking at night without needing to nurse--you have taught this behavior. A one year old can learn to hold a sippy cup--and if you put it in the same place in the corner of her crib with water in it, it is perfectly safe for her to have with her. It will give her the same sucking comfort as nursing, and replace the need to nurse at night.

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J.

answers from Boise on

There are many other ways to make this conversion from being comforted by mom all night long to comforting herself alone in a crib far from mom than to allow her to "cry it out". Have you considered placing the crib mattress in a safe place on your bedroom floor and allowing her to come in and out of your bed to it as she gets used to being away from you yet not too far. This will take time but it works. Or adding a side car to your bed or another mattress. As for breastfeeding all night, have you considered giving her a healthy snack just before bed? Also, I found that as my kids got older, if they didn't have enough space to move while sleeping they would end up nursing frequently. Once there was enough room, they'd only nurse when hungry. Google, Dr. William Sears, he is a great resource for breastfeeding, cosleeping, weaning etc.

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K.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You have two issues: Nursing and Sleeping. You should think of them as two seperate issues and treat them as such, so as to help your child start thinking of them as seperate activities too. When you decide to wean is up to you, but as long as you continue to put her in the familiar nursing positions and situations she will continue to demand what has always been given to her. If you continue to nurse her (although you will have a few sleepless nights), you should immediately stop nursing her in your bed or while lying with her. Find a new spot and new position and make that consistent. Or begin to wean her. (which is an entirely different subject) She is definitely old enough to wean from night nursing, and you can continue to nurse her in the day, which should keep her emotional needs fulfilled. But even in the day, avoid the night nursing places or positions.
So, on to sleeping, first you need to decide 100%, where you want her to sleep, b/c changing your mind and doing things differently one night to the next will make things a lot harder. Once you have picked your course of action, stick to it, confidently explaining to and encouraging yourself and your baby. If you are weaning to a crib, you should stop offering the alternative, sleeping in your bed, right away and consistently keep her away from your bed until she has transitioned. With my first baby I did this with a little bit of sadness, but once he was REALLY O.K. in his crib, we could go back to the family bed on occasion (mainly naps and early morning visits) and he could handle it, but weaning should be complete before offering the family bed again (which, is often just the most convenient thing). Once you have established the new sleeping situation, consistency, confidence, and calm are the key. If your child sees you calm, they will eventually calm down, too. They will also mirror the confidence. Your job is the consistency. Pick a new bedtime routine and start from there. If this means that you have to use the baby's room for a week or so, maybe the nanny will have to sleep somewhere else for a little while. You definitely shouldn't be trying to keep things quiet, because this transition will cause crying! No matter how gently you wean yourself away from her while leaving her in the crib, she will voice her feelings and wake the nanny! GOOD LUCK! Whatever you decide, follow your instinct...most likely, that is the best answer. YOU CAN DO IT and BABY CAN HANDLE IT!!

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