Friends or Family with the Same Baby Name

Updated on October 20, 2010
A.S. asks from Chicago, IL
29 answers

As my husband and I consider baby names for #3 (we currently have 2 boys), it turns out that a couple of names my husband really likes for both boys and girls are already "taken." He doesn't see why it wouldn't be okay to use the name, especially when any of these kids will be at least 2yrs older than our baby and the families don't live in the same city. I think it depends on the parents - some people may not care while others will be irked. Would you ask the parents if they'd mind or just go ahead and give your baby the same name?

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Friends-yes you can use the name-I wouldn't even ask. Family-first cousins-no I wouldn't use the name. I am sensitive to this as I had a baby girl name that I have loved all my life. It is an old school name that gets NO play anymore. Well, isn't it funny that BOTH of my brother's and my sister wanted to use that very same name after they heard me talk about it and made ME out to be the bad guy b/c I was upset!!!!

2 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with others, it depends on the other parents. A friend of mine was planning on using a name before she even had kids. She had a hard time getting pregnant and another friend got pregnant first and used the name. The first was asked if it was a problem and she said "no". Truth was, she was upset. But, she ended up using the name, too. It all worked out just fine.

Personally, unless it was a family name and my child was being named after someone specifically, I'd find an alternative. Good luck.

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree with Kitty. It kinda depends on who has the name and the family dynamics.
We have a lot of same or similar names. But when a SIL named her new daughter Samantha when we already had an Sam (a boy) in the family, most felt like it was a slap in the face to her brother. It was his son who was the Sam which was from his wife'e previous relationship whom he adopted.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

What to name your baby is up to you and your husband - no one else gets a vote.
Names are not copyrighted unless you're a member of the Screen Actor's Guild, so it really doesn't matter how many people have that name already.

3 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

I wouldnt ask them if the mind, I would inform them that you are adding another little Sara or Billy to the mix tho. Generally, at least in my family, when this happens you have the Big Billy and LIttle Billy, or someone gets a nick name that sticks within the family. It is not a big deal. We have like 5 Shawns in our family.

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

It's funny but when a friend of mine 3 months before I had my baby "took" my name and named her child that, I was so mad!! Now, 11 years later it seems so silly!!! I would name your child whatever you feel will be appropriate for your child. I like what one mama wrote saying to go to the family and say your adding one more George, or Sally to the mix.

Good Luck!

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R.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I have two points of view on this: 1)--It irritates me that some people "claim" a name and act as if they invented it or are somehow so creative because they thought of it, however 2) there ARE a million names and variations of names out there, so if you know a relative has the name, go with something else. Your kid will probably like not having to share a name, wonder who is being called at family gatherings, etc.

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B.O.

answers from Dallas on

I think if you really like the name, then go for it. your friends/family can't expect to never have anyone else named the same thing. they should see it as a compliment that you also like the name.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

I think it TOTALLY depends on the parents. Some would feel it was a slap in the face or competitive. Others would find it flattering or just none of their business what you name your child! You know your friends/families and can probably judge their responses. I think the way you handle it should stem from what you know about them.

I would find it slightly annoying if someone in my family chose the same name (like for a cousin), simply because it would be confusing to have two kids with the same name around each other frequently. But I certainly don't own the name, and I would get over it :) My SIL did name her son the name we had picked out for our third (if we had a boy), but I had never shared it with her and I definitely didn't get upset when she used it. But after she used it I would never consider using it, because one Luke is enough haha. Luckily we are having a girl this time so we don't have to worry about picking out a different name :)

I don't know....some people are so touchy, but really, if you don't live the same city, and they aren't cousins, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Go with your gut and your instinct about the friend and the relationship you have with them.

Good luck - K

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Nobody owns a name. Use what you like.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You are free to give your new baby any name you'd like!
Especially if the others are out of town it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
We laugh b/c every male in my husband's family is either Frank or John! LOL
Be prepared for Little Mikey/Big Mikey situations, but that happens in school to Mikey B., Mikey P. etc.

1 mom found this helpful

C.

answers from Hartford on

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Its your baby and you have the right to name him/her whatever you want. I have a cousin Aaron that is older (just graduated high school) and my 8 yr old is named Aaron. I have always loved the name Aaron they of course have different middle names and my son Aaron loves the fact that he shares the name with someone else.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

If they are friends, I wouldn't worry about it. If its family it gets a bit more complicated because then you either have to always call them by first and middle or parent and first.

Ex. Tyler Scott or Jim's Tyler.

My Aunt named her son after her brother so we always have to say Uncle Jim or Cousin Jim to specify.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My sister had the name Amber Dawn picked out for her daughter to be and my SIL had her baby first and named her new addition Tiffany Dawn. Of course the xxxx hit the fan and a family feud happened. I can remember how upset everyone was. So my sister changed the name and gave her new baby my middle name as her middle name and it fit much better.

It's just a name. How many Kayleigh, Kaleigh, Kaylee, Kalee's do you know? It's a name and it can be their's or not. My daughter compiles a list of names she thinks is cute and then when the baby comes she says they kind of pick out their own name, just one of the names seems to fit better.

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G.D.

answers from Chicago on

I would ask the parents first. My SIL named her son after my husband and we were not done having children. My husband was upset, however, we still agreed to use the name should we ever have a son. It would have been nice if she would have asked, instead she kept it a secret until the day he was born and it has actually damaged their relationship. You should name your baby what you want in the long run.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

It's your baby. You and your husband & the baby will have to live with that name. I would choose a name that you like, regardless if it has already been used by someone you know. More than likely, especially if it's a popular name, your child is not going to go through life and never meet someone with the same name. And, since the other children are older and don't live nearby, confusion should not be a major issue. Best wishes for a safe pregnancy & a healthy baby!

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K.B.

answers from Savannah on

All of my answers to this question depend on how closely related the parents are to you. If it were a distant relative or friend and I were already pretty firm on using the name, I see no reason to ask permission... just use it. If it's your sibling who has a child that name, though, I wouldn't even consider using the same name. In my opinion, cousins shouldn't have the same first names. They are too often in the same circle of discussion at least and there will have to be some distinction (big bob/ little bob etc) and that is uncomfortable for everyone I think.

From personal experience it irked me a little when it kinda happend to me. There are only two grandkids on my husbands side. Mine is 5 and her new girl-cousin was just born to my husband's sister last year and they gave her a name that sounds like my kids unusual name, but is slightly different. (like if my kid's name were Belle, they named their kid Bella).

I'll get over it, but it seems that of all the names available in the world, the new parents could have some originality and not use something I picked first. I wasn't flattered at all & saw it more as a kind of competition thing because grandma was super-fond of her only grandkid (mine) & it seems as though they feel like they had to mimic her to get some of the love or something. I just thought it was bizarre (and to make it worse they have almost the same birthday!) so we've got only two grandkids years apart but with nearly the same birthday and nearly the same name. and no, they didn't ask first, but if they had I couldn't have said no. Even though I don't like what they picked, I would never tell parents how to name thier kids. I might have tried to dissuade them though, as I think the result is a little too bizarre. If it had been my husband's cousin or friend though, I wouldn't have cared less. It's just that being cousins with someone of the same name is a little too close for comfort in my opinion.

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I like it when families use the same names, repeat names. I think it's homey and nice!

My kids are James Joseph, Daniel Patrick, Margaret Katharine, and yes, they have too many relatives to count with the same names!

Similarities are what families are all about, right? It's not a competition!

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

who cares they dont own the name...many kids have the same name

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

My husband and I have 2 boys (4 and 6). Recently, my husband's cousin's friend had twin boys. We know this family and do things with them a few times throughout the year. Well, they named their twins the same names as our boys. When I heard of the names they chose I told both of them that I personally think they picked the two best boy names. I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all.

When you name your child, you have to keep in mind that this will stay with the child their entire life. You haveto go with the name you like. And don't let anyone else influence you.

I am currently preggo with #3 and when we were thinking of names in the beginning and would share our thoughts, people were really quick to offer their opinion even though I wasn't asking for it. I got so annoyed with it that I stopped sharing my thoughts on names and just told people last week what her name will be. And I am having her this Friday.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it is fine to use the same name. My aunt and uncle named their youngest daughter Sarah and a few months later my uncle's oldest daughter (from a previous marriage) named her daughter Sarah. They live in different states and I don't think that this has led to any problems.

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would name your baby whatever you want. Im going through the same thing. My Dh and I picked out Kendyl for our daughters name. She is due in December. It turns out my half sister (From my dads 1st marriage) has a daughter named Kendall, just different spelling. I dont really talk to her and we live 2500 miles apart so I think its ok.

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D.E.

answers from Chicago on

I would use whatever name you want. Nobody has a copyright on a name. I have a second cousin that used the same name I did. Our boys are two years apart and I think it's cute.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

We have a son named Cameron and my husband's cousin has a son that is maybe 4-years older named Cameron also. She doesn't mind that our son has the same name as her son. That side of the family is Scottish and it's a Scottish name so, I guess she could understand why we had chosen it. Also, she is very easy going and a loving person. I don't think it had even dawned on her to be territorial about the name.

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Y.B.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't even bother telling anyone. Names aren't owned and it is your child and that is the wonderful thing about being a parent, you get to name your child whatever you want.

K.I.

answers from Seattle on

I personally wouldn't ever name my child (first name) a name that was already used in my or hubbies family...I think middle names are different tho and can be duplicated, if you choose.

My youngest boy was born in '05 and in '06 my hubby's first cousin named her son the same first name as our boy...honestly, I wish she hadn't used it but so far we have only had 2 family get togethers with that side of his family so it hasn't been that bad...except their side always calls my son "the other Blank", which is kinda weird...but I am partial to MY child and he was born first so if they want to call him something they should call him "the original Blank" :) J/K!

I think it depends on the family...and how often you will see them. And if you really love the names, I wouldn't ask to use them because you might get a NO...

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think it's only annoying if you know that someone is intending to use a name and you use it instead. If someone has already used the name, I think it is a compliment to name your baby "after" someone.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

My closest cousin and I loved the same girl name most of our lives (but never knew the other liked it too). I happened to have a baby girl first and took the name. A year later, she had a baby and used a spinoff of that same name, but I told her she could name her daughter the same as my daughter's name (we both had different spellings). She decided not to, but I was totally okay with it. I feel if you love the name that much, it shouldn't be a factor. It's your child and what ever name you decide to name him/her, will be with him/her and you for the rest of your life, so I say go for it.

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