Friends Child Is a Monster!

go out with your friend for lunch dates without the kids. No need to subject your kids to that, especially if they are asking you not to. Your main job now, as a mom, is to protect them....unfortunately your friendship with this woman is secondary.

4 moms found this helpful

L., your friend may not like it but sometimes as mothers we DO have to intervene with someone else's child when they are being rude or mean to ours. Please defend your child since he or she can not do it for themselves and if your friend gets mad and says something rude to you, then your friendship may need to be re-evaluated. While nobody likes for others to "discipline" our children, if the child needs correcting, for the sake of the other child or children, then somebody must do it but in a loving way. For example, if her child screams at your child, you could say in a loving voice, "Sammy can hear just fine...you don't need to scream at him." It's annoying to have to be the one to step in when the child's mother won't but sometimes we have to do it. Just always do it in a loving way so that feelings with your friend won't get hurt but do it in an authoritative way so the offending child knows his boundaries where YOUR child is concerned.

2 moms found this helpful

Listen to your kids!!! Things will only escalate in the future. MOms are suppose to protect their children from harm. YOu can make new friends. Your friend is in denial about her kid and needs to wake up. There are enough mean, sick, destructive, abusive, etc people in the world and we dont need anymore.

2 moms found this helpful

I am so anxious to hear your responses. I am in a similar situation, and have had to simply avoid one-on-one play dates. I do get around it (somewhat) by just including more kids to join us, and playing in a bigger (outside) setting; like a park or something. There is no easy way to talk to your friend. No matter what! She is aware of the behavior, but it is her "baby". I know I wouldnt like hearing something negative about my "perfect little angels". I also try to get together with my friend without kids. I simply mention that the children"s chemistry is off right now, but I would really like to spend some time with her. We often meet for coffee or dinner, etc. Hopefully, her little one will grow out of this behavior, but you never know. You are in a frustrating situation, but if your children have asked YOU for help, please listen. No friendship is worth the lessons your little ones may be enduring. Keep smiling. And, good luck.

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L. if you let those kids mistreat you and your kids just because thier parent dont want to make them behave then you dont have a friend worth having anyway.its just not fair to you and yours so i would put a stop to this right away and i would tell her i could no longer be her friend and why.you can find other friends that are more considerate there are some good folks out there.you dont have to settle fcr the worst.please dont put your kids thru this.its not fair and not worth it.you can find another friend.dont let your kids be abused by anyone.they should be your number one priority.hold your head high and be proud for sticking up for your children and what is right.C.

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Dear L.,
If I were you I would have a heart to heart with this poor woman! She might think it is cute now...wait until he is 16 and beating her like a gong or worse! Somehow, it appears that this kid thinks this is the way to treat his mom or any woman for that matter. This kid is headed for the juvenile crime division. She is defensive, because she knows this is not normal, and she better get a handle on it NOW!! If that doesn't work, run... don't walk.. away from that relationship! Don't be afraid to tell her why. Your children don't need to be abused on a playdate! With friends like that...who needs enemies! I feel sorry for her child! Respectfully, J.

2 moms found this helpful

my sister had this same problem with her friend's son (he has ADHD,but would not discipline only talk to him), and you 'll have to talk to her! just sit with her and talk about how the kids feel when he plays with them, and that if his actions and attitude don't change then he will no longer be able to play with the kids! tell her that you do not want it to be that way because you do care about her but your kids come first. hopefully it will all work out. you have to be honest!!

2 moms found this helpful

Hi L.,

I can only tell you what i know from personal experience. I have 3 children 8 5 and 22 months and my friends stopped coming around me because my 5 year old was a holy terror. I felt kinda lonely cause i lost all my friends and my children lost their playmates. I talked with my daughters Dr' come to find out that she has ADHD with hyperactive disorder. I made sure that i got her the help that she was in need of and of course once she calmed down everybody started to come back around. Maybe suggest to your friend that it maybe something medical wrong with her child and you wouldnt want it to affect his education because if he's not in school he will soon be. The teachers at schools are at limited resources anyway and to have bad children on top of it it affect every 1's children.
Also, ask about her childrens diet... yanno alot of parents will give children chocolate or candy and believe it or not if you have a child who is adhd or hyperactive anyway those kinda snacks will make the child even worse. I had to completely change my daughters diet to alot of fruits and veggys and get away from all the caffeine. I make sure she drinks caffeine free drinks and not alot of soda. MOMS try to protect our children the best way we can and your not doing anything to harm your friend your just trying to make sure her children also grow up to be functioning adults.
As i've stated so many times in my responses it doesnt just take a mom and dad to raise a child it does take a community and that's why we are all here reading to see what others think about every situation

1 mom found this helpful

I'm in the same situation, but it's someone who lives too close to avoid! Love the parents, but the kids - wow. Try to do things when the kids are in school (now that school started today!), or on weekends go to adult movies or dinners out so you can spend time with your friend, but not her monster. I know that's not the best recommendation when everybody's trying to save money right now, but if even your kids dislike the child, it's just unpleasant for all of you. Otherwise, keep busy, make new friends to hang out with (you don't have to dump her entirely, but maybe until her child begins having playdates elsewhere). You can't tell your friend how to be a parent; most people don't take constructive criticism well, especially as it pertains to being a parent! I'd love to read what others think - good luck - I feel for you -

1 mom found this helpful

I was in a similar situation. We had a squadron playgroup that met every wed. The girl that was running it, had it at her house every week. We have son's that were born about 3 to 4 weeks apart. She also has an older daughter. Well she was having problems with her older daughter pushes her son. Daughter (3) son around 7-8 months. One play group we were all hangiing out in the living room with the babies. I was watching my son, who was playing/following another child over to the front door. ( The living room was carpet and the front door had tile in the entrance way) Someone asked me a question and I turn to look at them, and then I looked back at my son in enough time to see her (older duaghter)rear her arms back and push/shove my son with enough force that he slammed his head on the tile floor. I yelled at the little girl, and then looked at her mom and told her to do something. She asked me what she was supposed to do. (Her only punishment was to stick her in time-out. Had Been doing it for months with no change) I told her that I didn't know what, but that she needed to do something about it. She then said that I knew she pushes babies.. (she doesn't bully kids her age or older) My son was about 7 months old at the time, and now he's 18 months. I'm still upset with the situation. Her daughter was a spoil rotten brat, and she didn't disipline. I couldn't really say what I wanted to say to her, cause her husband was a higher ranking officer. Needless to say we are not friends anymore, and she no longer runs playgroup. My only other concern was that if her daughter did that to my kid, what is her daughter really doing to her son when her back was turned. (The little girl didn't do stuff like that when daddy was home, only with mom)

You need to tell her out right that your kids don't want to play with her kids anymore and why. She'll either get upset, or understand. At least you told her. And if you want to continue the friendship, than maybe it needs to be a adult only, with no kids playing together.

At some point if they haven't already, they are going to hurt someone, and that is where personaly I draw the line.

I hope your situation works out. Honesty is the best policy.

1 mom found this helpful

This person is no friend. Good luck with the network marketing. Let it take you into a different perspective of who this "friend" is...

1 mom found this helpful

It is a very sensitive subject. I think you need to make time for her with out your kids. Mommy time. You can not continue to haev a relationship with her at the expense of your kids. Good Luck! It is not easy. Every Mom wants to believe that they are doing everything right for there kid. Be patient and loving when and if you talk about why your children do not want to be around hers.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi L.,

This is a toughie. I think our friendships really get strained when we have babies because parenting styles can be so different and people tend to feel very strongly about their parenting choices.

If you want to keep having playdates, I would suggest that you discipline her son if she will not, if only to protect your own children. She may not get mad; may actually learn something. If she gets mad, then I agree with the previous poster-- you'll just have to hang out with her sans the kids.

Good luck! :)

P.S. If you like network marketing, I have a great one you might be interested in. Don't have to buy a bunch of product, it's a health-related product so it really helps people.... Private Mesage me if interested. :)