Friend Starting Chemo Friday for Lymphoma

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December and I have been going through chemo for the past 3 months. My friends from out of town have sent gift cards for amazon.com or Barnes and Noble to buy books, which is great because you are pretty much stuck sitting for long periods of time while the chemo is administered. You could also send her a care package with some magazines, puzzle books (Sudoku,etc), a book you like or a chick flick. I bring a DVD player with me every week when I go and watch a movie. I have also read several books, so all of those things really helped to pass the time for me. If she has an iPod or iPhone, you could also get her an iTunes gift card so she can download stuff to her phone.

One of my friends had a shawl made for me that I take with me every week too. It is a prayer shawl (the person that made it for me prayed over it while they were making it specifically for me). I love it. It is so soft and reminds me of my friend. She is there with me in spirit every week even though she lives a thousand miles away.

Just an encouraging note or phone call does wonders too. It's hard to go through this and feel like you're alone. I have a CaringBridge site setup and I love when people sign my guestbook so that I know they are thinking of me and praying for me. Maybe you could suggest she setup a page as well to keep people informed? The site is www.caringbridge.org.

You're a great friend to reach out like this to see what she could really use. It sure is tough, but I'm getting through it and I pray she will too. I am halfway done, so there is a light at the end of my tunnel! :-)

You have received some great answers so far. I wanted to add a few things that I have recently learned from a personal experience dealing with cancer (didn't require chemo).

Does your friend have an ipod? Buy an itunes gift card, or purchase some songs (inspirational, uplifting, funny) and mail discs to her.
Do you sew? Crochet? Make her (or buy) a soft blanket to have with her while receiving the chemo. It is always nice to have something soft and comforting.
Can you help coordinate childcare/meals?

Most importantly, let her know that she may call you at any time, day or night, if she wants to or needs to talk to someone. Tell her you will simply listen if that is what she wants. Be a better friend than you have ever been. Call often. Listen more. Speak with her family as well. Offer assistance to them, and ask them what else your friend wants/needs.

I am sorry that your friend is having to endure this at this time. I will pray for her, her family, as well as you, as you all travel through this disease. Best of luck to all!

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March of 2007. It is not the same as lymphoma but cancer still. I wrote this response to another mom in 2009 but thought I could share it with you also as some of the same things are relevent. So here it is.

It was the worst moment I can remember. And my husband was on a trip to disney world with my sons band group. Here are the things that helped me the most.

Keep in touch but don't let it be the only topic of conversation. talk about if and when she is ready to but talk about other stuff also

Bring meals or set up a meal plan. Depending on the treatment schedule they may or may not be able to cook. Are there older kids in school Come over one day and make up lunches.

Make a list of what they normally do and see if you can help to get those things done. they may be little things but little things when your puking from chemo are the things that tip you over the edge.

take her back and forth to chemo if you can. don't expect her to "want" you to sit with her. sometimes she will and others she will wish everyone in the world would just get the heck away from her. at least I did.

here is one that a friend of my sons did for me. if she has chemo her hair will fall out. offer to take her for a hair cut when it starts to come out and then shave it for her when it is down to just whisps. One of my sons girlfriends shaved mine for me when I was so sick I couldn't imagine going out in public ever again. but she shaved it with a bic razer and then massaged it afterwords with some lotion. it made me feel pampered in the midst of some of the worst months of my life. she did it about once a week with the lotion till my hair grew back.

the main thing though is to not disappear from her life. I have friends who I thought were as close as my sister. but when I was diagnosed with this they disappeared. It doesn't make them bad people it just showed where I fit in on the scale for them. The friends who stick by you in these things are the true friends. and not just buying dinner but going out with you bald and changing bandages on scars that no woman should have to deal with. ok so now I'm crying as I write this. just be a true friend and stick by her

forgot this so am editing and adding. There is a shop called Hats in the Belfy. My girlfriend ordered me a couple and had them mailed to me. It was a riot getting them and then I had something other than scarves to wear. I wore my husbands bandanas when my hair fell out till my youngest son said mommy you need girl hats. so we went to hobby lobby and bought a bunch of pink and floral and foofy bandanas to wear. also my father in law sent me about 5 cards a week in the mail. not expensive ones just funny make me laugh even when i was so sock . little things help

My ex-MIL (whom I still love dearly) went through chemo for lymphoma a year ago. One thing her sister did for her was give her some personalized sweaters and sweatshirts, and a nice, small fleece blanket because chemo lasted for hours and it made her very cold. (This was in the summer too.) I live a ways away, but I made a trip back for one chemo treatment so I could drive her there and bring her home, because her husband was at work. Maybe you could offer that and make a trip out for a few days. I'm sure she'd love to see you!

Many good ideas already...

Also flowers, letters, funny emails, news/magazine clippings you think she might like, send a batch of homemade cookies/candy (maybe she won't feel like eating them, but maybe someone in family will, or she could freeze the cookies until she does want to eat them).

If she loses her hair--a cute hat, scarf, etc if you think she would like that (I hear some women just go "bare", but I remember my cousin wearing a ball cap a lot).

If she believes in prayer--you could have your church add her to their prayer list, and send her a copy of the bulletin where she is listed.

Good of you to want to show you care!

K. Z.

A few ideas for you!

Send her fun cards regularly thru her battle

Find a local cleaning service to help her out with housework.

I have had several friends battle cancer, and uplifting cards, emails and phonecalls have been very much appreciated. Also, meals, help with childcare, and housework. I know it must be hard to be that far away from her whike she is battling this. Just keep communication open and always be uplifting!

Mikelle, covered it well.. Also consider a subscription to Netflix. She can pick her movies on line and she will not have to go back and forth to a rental store.. send her a list of funny uplifting movies.

Princess Bride
The Proposal
Young Frankenstein
Moonstruck
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility
I was a Mail War Bride