Oh my...First and foremost this story breaks my heart!!! I was 21 when my mom died of cancer. It was the worst thing in the world I had to go through. My best advice to you is to be there. She is now starting to trust you and starting to let you in. Just be there for her and listen. Remember the holidays, anniversary of the death, fathers day and any other important day. Send her a card and let her know she isn't alone in the grieving process. Let her know she has a friend and that she can call you anytime. As she communicates with you...ask questions. Ask her how she met him or things they liked to do. It will help her heal if she can remember the good and remember the wonderful parts of their relationship. Plus it will show her that care enough to ask questions. It always made me uncomfortable b/c I wanted to talk about my mom and some people would clam up and ignore what I said. That made it worse. My husband lost his dad a few years ago and he said the thing that helped him the most was when he was having a moment I would tell him that your dad loved you so much. He is with us and watching over our kids. I also would ask questions...I would say tell me a story about your dad so I can get to know him better. I found that he would get caught in the moment and be laughing remembering a very great memory. You can't take the pain away but by being a great friend you can sure make it a little easier. I wish you and your friend the best of luck!!!!