Freaking Out over LICE!!!

Wow! You sure did receive some very interesting responses about this so I felt compelled to respond as I completely understand your position.

First things first, I am a teacher and I am a germ-a-phobe. I have had students with lice and recurring lice infestations. I have had lice from my students. In fact, I just opened a bag in August full of wool sweaters that were bound in plastic for past 8 years since I had had lice. As a teacher I know how sensitive parents are to lice. They do feel ashamed, embarrassed, helpless. I have listened to many upset parents regarding this. And it is very easy to figure out who in the class has it without the name ever being said allowed by an adult. Kids are pretty smart.

As a germ-a-phobe I completely understand you not wanting this girl at the party. I wouldn't either. Just as I would not allow a child at the party ho had a fever or had vomited in the past 24 hours or had a rash. Heck, even a runny nose and a cough send me into a tizzy.

Lice freaks me out. The person who has it does not freak me out. The lice freaks me out. I do not think it is an American cultural thing. I do not see it as a socioeconomic thing. Some people can tolerate these things while others cannot. I cannot.

I am happy you made a decision about the party and I am sure it will be a success. Don't let some of these harsh responses get you down. I understand you completely! Happy Birthday to your daughter!

First and foremost stop freaking!!!!!!!! Lice is not a sign of someone being dirty or unkempt or anything like that .... and if you are freaking your daughter will look down on her friend .... which is never the example we want to set.

That said, the best prevention for your daughter getting lice is to always have product in her hair, IE: gel, no more tangles spray. Lice only stick to clean, dry hair. There are many products on the market to to rid the hair of lice and once done the person can go on with their day. I've had friends clean their children's hair and then take them out to big family dinners .... holiday time is BIG for this.

In the event you get them in your home, its basically a no-brainer to treat. All linens get washed & all stuffed animals go in plastic bags ... or in this weather, put them on the porch for a day.

If your daughter is 8 and this is the first time you are dealing with this, you are a lucky woman!!

Relax and enjoy your daughter's party!

Hi A.,

My daughter had lice a few months ago, and although unpleasant, there are plenty of worse things. And I have a great fear of bugs!

Please don't ostracize that poor girl. You can speak with her mother and make sure that her hair is tied back and she doesn't hug anyone. Lice CANNOT jump, fly, or swim. Also you should send your daughter to school with her hair tied back for a while. Put hairspray or hair gel in her hair, since lice hate "dirty" hair.

The one sure remedy, if anyone you know gets lice, is to treat with olive oil for three weeks. That suffocates them.

Good Luck!
D.

I would simply call the girl's mother and explain that you've received this note from school saying that her child has lice and being that your daughter's party is in 24 hours you would have to ask that she not come. Be sure to send the party favor to her and to express your overall concern for both your family and guests as well as hers. Keep it short and sweet, don't be negative, be concerned and express your sympathy for both the child and mother because it's no easy task getting rid of lice. good luck and always remember to do what you feel is best for YOUR family and not be forced to do what other want you to do.

Please try not to freak out. Lice is not a disease, simply a symbiotic creature. My daughter came home with head lice from camp last summer (she's still going back this summer, regardless). After researching it and treating it, I realized I was making myself frantic. Yes, you have to launder whatever bedding you can, vacuum what you can't launder, and bag up the stuffed toys for 2 weeks. I also bagged up the dress up clothes. Then I wrapped the pillows in plastic and washed the sheets daily, whilst combing every day for several days. The very best treatment I read about is to dump tons of white conditioner on the hair and comb, comb, comb, using a special comb. Mayo on the hair, then wrapped in either plastic or a latex swimcap for a few hours seemed to be somewhat effective. In the end, you just have to comb, comb, comb to get rid of the nits. No more nits, no more lice. Don't cancel the party, it'll make the girl, and your daughter feel bad and may even harm the friendship. Its just lice, completely conquerable.

I, too, received a note from school nurse a couple months ago that my son had someone in his class with lice. I didn't sleep for about a month - I was completely freaking out! Anyway, someone once gave me a couple of ideas: lice like clean soft hair -- so I put my daughter's (5 yo) hair up in a ponytail EVERY day with LOTS of gel and hairspray and put LOTS of gel in my son's (7yo) hair, especially around the hairline - this apparently keeps them from climbing into their hair. I warned them not to share hats and all...I do not know that all the gel helped, but I believe maybe it did...I also washed their coats and hats in hot water every day.
also, check with your school, but as far as I know the school nurse will check the child again upon coming back to school...so if the child is back in school, then the lice should be gone. call your school nurse for more info.
sorry you are going through this - good luck:(

Lice are gross and a pain in the you know what!!! One thing before you "disinvite" this child. If school has allowed her to return, she would have to been cleared by the school nurse. If this has happened, she no longer has lice. I would find this out first before a little girl gets hurt and her mother gets embarressed. Good luck and have a great time at the party!!!

A...I totally hear you!! I would probably shave everyone in my houses heads. NO way!!! Gross. Also, I agree w/ Hannah S. I too would do something like that. I have a total bug thing and couldnt not handle it. Seriously...Its a phobia. There would be no way I would let this poor girl in my house. What if the nurse was wrong? What if she missed some? The nurse at my sons school (sorry nurses-not personal..people make mistakes) is not very bright. She told me that my son was faking a stomach virus and had no fever. I walked 5 feet took one look at him and knew he did. It was 104. Nice huh?
I also would not cancel the party. This is not your daughters fault. Not to mention if you have family coming. As long as your sure your daughter doesnt have it or her friends.

Call her friends mothers and pretend to take a general survey on whether to cancel it or not. Make sure they all had their kid looked at. Anyway, i am not an expert and get only give you my opinion which is worth 0 to everyone but me...so good luck and dont feel bad for flipping out. I would too...

I like Hannah's idea this way you are clear you do not want her child at the party and at the same time you have given her daughter a goody bag. I was a hairdresser years ago and one thing I do know is lice does not like dirty hair it prefers clean hair. What you do is keep your daughters hair filled with gel, or mousse, or hairspray and pulled back into a pony tail until the lice scare passes. In case your daughter does get them you do not have to use those harsh chemicals to get rid of it. You can use natural products that are safe and effective. You mix hair conditioner with baking soda and use a fine tooth comb and do section by section to get out the nits. The baking soda helps to grab onto the nits and gets them out safely and effectively. Keeping her hair in a pony tail will also protect her because lice will get into loose hair easily. I am itchy just talking about it. You can also approach the mom and tell her you have a suggestion on how to remove the lice from a professional and give her the solution. I had a few cases of children with lice at my preschool and the moms paid professionals who charged $200.00 and all she did was apply a mixture of conditioner and baking soda. You can also keep baby oil or olive oil on the hair for a few days and then right back into a pony tail. Lice is more of a pain in the neck then anything but I think the direct approach with the mom is best. One other thing to remember is if she is back in school the nurse will have to check her if she is allowed back in then she must be nit free so that may save you the trouble of approaching the mom. Good luck!!

Here in the UK we don't freak out about nits and lice quite as much as you guys in the USA seem to. They are a natural part of growing up, so we all learn to deal with them simply and effectively.

A hair conditioner with a tea tree oil base should help to keep those pesky lice away.

If they do happen to take up residence in your daughter's hair, simply use any kind of conditioner on her hair then comb through with a fine-tooth comb. Do this every day for about a week and she should be clear of them.
My son (now 10) had nits and lice constantly between the ages of 6 and 8, due to one child in his school not being treated. I used the conditioner method, and now continue to use tea tree oil shampoo daily, with a weekly usage of conditioner, and we have been lice free for 2 years. It does work!

As I said, head lice are a natural part of growing up. If we all pretend they don't exist and treat them quietly (or go to extreme measures to avoid our children catching them) then we will be bringing up a generation of children who do not know how to cope with them - hence making the problem worse for their children and children's children.

Please don't cancel the party. It's daft, really. Your child is exposed to the "risk" of head lice every time she goes to school. Either she'll get them or she won't. There's nothing you can do (apart from the already mentioned precautions), unless you want to wrap your child up in cotton wool and keep her away from every other living being for the rest of her life.

As a side note, head lice cannot survive on fabrics. The nits need to be hatched on a human head to survive. By all means change the bedding, but better to just brush off the pillows and mattress, and give the bedding a good shake - then vacuum the bedroom.
Also, lice will not live on pets, so no need to give extra pest treatments to any household pets you have.

Good luck.

Your daughters already been exposed. By saturday I'm sure the infected childs mother will have done as much treatment as possible (I'm sure she's not loving this either!) and she will take precautions herself, if not keep the child home. How long does it usually take to clear this up anyway? How do you know which child has the head lice? How close are you to the mother? Can you just talk to her - I'm sure the other mothers know too since a note was sent home, right, so I'm sure everyone is going to be cautious. What can you really do except take precautions like the others suggested. They seemed like great suggestions. I wouldn't uninvite the child just because of this. I think that would be hurtful and it would make the mother upset too. You could postpone, but do you really want to do that to your child and the others, and who's to say something won't come up the next time. Its not the ideal situation but from what everyone with experience is saying, its not the end of the world either and since your daughters already been exposed, its kind of out of your hands already.

hi A.!
im sorry, but i have to say when i read this i had to laugh out loud! i had lice a million times growing up - to the point where i could tell where they were on my head by the feeling and pull them off! i know ,gross, but certainly not dangerous or horrifying in a true way - you have gotten alot of great advice already -im sure youve probably made a decision too - but i have to weigh in on the side of: just relax, pretend it never happened and have a great party - dont live in fear of something harmless. :)

Hi A.! I don't know how to handle this tactfully, except to maybe schedule the party for later in the month after the lice infestation is over with? Otherwise, I would ask the mother of that child to schedule a different time they could play together. I wouldn't want lice in my home either, and think about all the other kids that would get exposed! To my knowledge, schools are pretty anal about lice, so hopefully no one else will get it. I would definitely scrub the heck out of your kids' heads though, for the next several days!! Oh, the things I'll have to worry about when my kids are in school......happy birthday to your daughter, too. ;-)

If your school is anything like ours the girl will have to be treated for and cleaned of lice or nits. If she has been allowed back in school then she has obviously been treated for them. Do you know the mom well enought to call her and talk to her about it? The parents should have washed ALL bedding, sheets, coats, hats, gloves or soft things the child came into contact with. Hang the childs coat away from all the others and put away all hats or play hats and have fun. A.

How do you know which girl had lice? If the teacher or nurse told you who it was that's 100% wrong. Also kids get head lice, get over yourself. You probably had when you were little. You're acting like only dirty uncared for children get lice. I don't care if you have a million dollars and a maid, your kid can still get head lice. Be glad she has not had it before now. My daughter got head lice the first week of pre-K. Also her 4 month old sister , me and hubby. We had a louse fest in our house. I spent $25 on lice shampoo for three of us. My baby daughter had to have her head covered in mayo and then covered with a cap. Can't use the shampoo on kids younger then a year. It was pretty funny to watch, but we all survived and so will you. Please do not make this little girl feel worse by univiting her from the party. You will look very BAD for it.

Hi A.,
A really good tea tree oil and shampoo containing tea tree oil is a great natural treatment for lice.
If you want more info contact me at: ###-###-####

I would speak to the mother of the child, as lice in schools are nothing unusuel, as I understand.
A friend of mine daughter had them and was very successful treating her with the above.

C.

Headlice are a fact of life with preschool and school age children, and the most well-cared for and hygenic of children can catch them. No it's not very nice but you must not make this poor child feel bad about herself because of this. Personally I think cancelling the party would be a complete over-reaction, and banning this child because of something that is not exactly life-threatening would be a cruelty. Take sensible precautions as your other contributors have suggested, and enjoy the party!

Hi A.! I understand and completely share your concern. The good thing about a child that is in school is that most schools are very good about the policy that in order for a child to return back to school they have to be FREE of nits AND lice, and this is checked by the school nurse. Maybe a chat with the school nurse about your concern, not naming any names but just a general inquire, about lice and the schools policies. The nurse will usually do routine daily checks for a period of time after the child is back to school to make sure that those nasty little critters are staying gone! All else fails can you have a family "emergency" and move the date? Lol. Good luck, I feel for you, you are truly in a difficult situation. Best Wishes.

I would cancel the party...have it the following week pending the situation....if you got the notice so did all the other Moms from this class. You are probably not alone in how you are feeling about it....so probably many from the class wont attend the party. This will give you a week to check with the school nurse to make sure the problem has been cleared or not. Use this Saturday as a family day doing something special your daughter might like.

since the school my kids went through a really difficult time and my daughter brought it home more than once, they found the source of the problem and then banned the child from the school under a name that meant she did not exist. was a very cruel time. the girl ended up going to school in a special education school because no school would take her. was really a bad situation. if you don't want that child in your home, then the only tactful way to handle this is cancel or postpone the party or take it to a park. once the family has treated the child she will be clean. I bought denorex shampoo, it has a tar base and will sufficate the live louse, and kept it on hand in case of live infestation, then we used apple cider vinegar as a cream rinse and instead of using the rid, i learned to put a perm through the hair, dont have to set the hair, we started doing this every fall just before school started and then the girls wore lots of hair spray or gel. head lice do not like chemically treated hair, and they can not adhear the nits to a shaft of hair with vinegar on it as it cuts the adheasive they use. Please just keep in mind, this child did not ask for this problem, lice are no respector of status or prosperity, they will adhear to anyone they can, and this child has feelings. Also remember, the way that Mom treats this child and this situation is the way that your child will learn to deal with it. Good Luck

Get a robi comb! Best thing I ever bought. Check your daughter every time she walks through the door because it's a nightmare trying to conquer the little nymphs once they get their head in the door! '
Then
Wash with mayo and pick through it piece by piece. If you don't have one of those little combs, use an Emory board til nits are all gone. Rinse with equal parts vinegar and water. Wash as usual!

A.--I was a school nurse for years, so I am a louse expert...

The child who has been diagnosed and treated is the least of your worries. Just be absolutely sure that the children do not share hats, combs, etc. You might want to not provide party hats in case of them becoming interchanged. Also, avoid situations where the children might be lying on the rugs (with their heads on the floor) or putting their heads on furniture, etc). In other words, keep them up and moving! Also, you might want to avoid transporting any of the party goers in your car where they will put their heads on your car seats.

All the kids have been exposed, but if they were not sharing personal items, the chance of them having gotten lice are not too great. As for increasing your children's resistance, hair spray for your daughter and tea tree shampoo for both.

I have lived around the world as a child and I'll tell you that lice has been a problem in every country.
The proven preventative measure my mom took is leave some rosemary oil in my hair during an outbreak. The lice hate the smell and can not lay their eggs because of the oily substance. This worked for us 100% of the time.
It is also not toxic. Your kid's hair won't look beautiful for a few days but this will definitely work.

Hi A.-
I was told by a teacher that if you rinse your daughter's hair with diluted vinegar after she washes her hair, it should prevent lice.

Lice is a pain-in-the-neck but it's not an infection or "disease". As others have said, it's just luck that the lice are on the other girl and not your daughter.

Also, when you say "one child" has lice, what you really should say is "one child who we know of". Most likely there are other kids in the class and school who have nits - those bugs are hard to find, and parents/kids/teachers may not even know they have them.

I think the best way to handle the party is to postpone it until the infestation is over - that way you're not excluding one girl and you're not risking other kids (or your house) from picking up the lice.

To treat lice, what worked for us was combing out nits every night with conditioner. Use the lice comb you can buy on the internet, not the one they sell in stores. I washed bedding every day, too. All clothes went straight into the washer instead of the hamper. For my son, we did a buzz cut (it was summer). For my daughter, we just combed and combed and combed until there were no nits.

Also, teach your kids prevention strategies - especially not sharing hats, combs, etc with other kids.

Hi, just a few facts that might help your perspective so you can be more at ease...
The schools do follow up checks for nits an lice at scheduled intervals after the outbreak. They also do routine checks, so wont allow anyone into the school until they're clean of lice once they've had it. This little girl has been checked more than once and you can ask the school nurse to be sure.
Secondly, you've a greater chance of getting lice in your house just by your kids going to school and not by your invited guests bringing them in, so you've already passed the point of being able to safeguard against getting them.
You may want to remember it was just by luck it was the other child and not your own because it is a living nightmare for sure. That child was victimized by the outbreak and not the cause.
Lice is definitely something to freak out about because it's your entire house that requires disinfecting and your own child's reputation (unfortunately true but people cannot help but blame the kids themselves), but the risk in your case may not warrant worry. Probably best guard against lice infection is to keep your child out of school for a few days as soon as you know about an outbreak. Secondly is to check yourself for the nits.

Oh boy!! I know I googled natural lice spray and there's a spray with water and some essential oils (I believe it's Lavender, Tea Tree and Rosemary). It's supposed to prevent it.
I would see if you could call the girl's mom - not to be terrible or anything - but offer your support, see if there's anything you can do to help and kind of put it there that you're concerned about her daughter attending the birthday party and even though she'll be missed, you'll drop off a cake and goodie bag to make her feel better?

It's terrible but be supportive to mom...hopefully she'll be grateful...

Dont call the mother...she's got enough on her hands and last thing she needs is to feel like her daughter is being singled out over this. If the mother doesnt call you to say the daugther isnt coming to the party maybe you should consider postponing it. Tell your daughter that there are too many germs going around right now and all her friends will be "healthier" in 2 weeks. Then tell the parents of the kids you invited the same thing.
Do something else special with your daughter on the day of the party or ask just one or two girls over to play.
Chances of your daughter catching it from this other girl or her bringing it into your home are slim. But if you are really that worried about it, I'd postpone the party.

home remedy... hair in pony tail or tight braids with a lot of hairspray. Lice likes clean hair and soft hair - so that harder you made the hair. the better. also they sell shampoo.. called something fairy... it's a preventative sells for around $25.
As for the child coming to the party. .... call the mother and talk to her.. tell her how sorry you are to hear about the lice problem.. and see what she says -- or say oh well maybe next year she can make the party.. if she says.. oh she'll be there this year.. tell her you think it's a bad idea with so many kids... maybe your daughter and her can get together in a week or two for pizza....

AM I the only one that feels sorry for this little girl. Here she has to deal with lice & now her friends mom is going to uninvite her to a birthday party she is probably looking forward to. Do you really think her mom would bring her to a party if her daughter was still a risk to the other little girls ? Would you? Lice are an unfortunate part of growing up. Just make sure you daughter knows not to share brushes hats etc.

This may be the first time you have this problem, but it will not be the last. Take a deep, calming breath. Is this a mother you know so you can be sure she will treat her child responsibly and well? If so, don't worry about it. If not, you will have to make a choice: take a chance, vaccum well after guests have gone or ostracize another child because of your fears. Not a tactful way of putting it, I know, but that is what it boils down to.
The best prevention is mechanical: braid your daughter's hair and get her a nice kerchief to wear at school. There are also shampoos that have things like tea tree oil in them that are supposed to prevent infestation.

hello i went through this with my girls if you put hairspray on her hair b4 she goes to school she will be fine they do not like hairspray

Your'e not going to like this but if you are really concerned you should postpone the party. Although getting lice has absolutely nothing to do with heigne, children can be cruel and this girl is probably going through enough with out having to be uninvited to a birthday party. Not to mention lice have a tendency to spread before it gets under control so another child may have it by the time you have the party, maybe even your daughter.