Freaking Out About Possible Move to SC

Updated on April 10, 2011
S.B. asks from Bristol, WI
16 answers

Hi. My husband was laid off 6 months ago. We have money in the bank - but not enough to retire on (my husband is 56). He recently got a great job offer....except it is in Clemson SC. We live in the midwest and have lived there all our lives. DH would start work in 2 weeks and it would be up to me to clean up the house and get it ready for market. He would be living down there and commuting back here 1-2 times/month (at our own expense). We don't owe much on the house...do we try and keep it and just rent in the south? How long do you give a new job before you know if it's right for you? They are giving us a year to sell the house and then they will move everything down for us. The new company is supposed to be great. It's just hard leaving all the friends....and my parents and his are getting on in years.... What would you do?

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

In this economy if he's getting a job offer at the age of 56, I would JUMP at it! Go-it will be an adventure and you'll never have to worry about snow again!

7 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I would MOVE in a heartbeat! It is amazing that your 56 y/o husband got a wonderful job at his age. That isn't so easy to do these days. How nice that his new company does not discrimiate against age. He is very lucky to have found this job! I wouldn't mind living in South Carolina! The weather is much better than your freezing Wisconsin weather and you will have new road trips (Charleston, SC, Gatlinburg, TN, etc. - I would LOVE to go to Gatlinburg/Smokey Mountains someday)! It will be a wonderful new adventure for you two! You need to go where the job is, so definately move! You can't stay in WI just b/c you have friends and family there - they won't be paying your bills. You will just have to take turns visiting each other. Are your parents too old to visit you? If not, I bet they would LOVE to spend part of the freezing WI winter in SC with you. Enjoy your new life in SC!

6 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

If it were me, I'd say take the job. Rent the house, if you decide you want to relocate back to the Midwest after he retires (you can always change your mind and sell later if you want). There are companies that will hand the rental & upkeep for you, I believe. My cousin had a couple houses he rented, and he used to have a lot of problems with renters not taking care/damaging the property, but then he started advertising the rentals in the church bulletins, and that really helped get a better clientele.

It is hard to start over in a new area, but with today's economy, jobs, especially good ones are hard to come by, so I wouldn't let this one pass you by.

Good luck with whatever decision you make. :)

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It is new and sometimes new is scary to people who have settled in to the same routine but open your eyes to a possible new adventure.

I lived in SC a few years and it is a very nice place. Clemson is a college town...climate is nice

Sounds to me like the "south" is more of a problem for you vs the actual change from what you've been doing all these years.

You might find that you like it... Beautiful Lakes, you can drive 2 hrs either way and be at the beach or snow skiing.

You husband is lucky to get a job offer at 56! I'd jump on the chance for change and adventure.

We are in TX and we moved from NC knowing no one, no family around, etc. We LOVE it.

2 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Let him go and you stay home, give it a month or until he decides that the job is "right", then decide whether or not to rent your current house out for the extra income.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

ooooh man!! HOW EXCITING!!!!!!!!!

I'd LOVE to have the chance to move again!! i'm a military brat - married military - and now that hubby is out - I SOOO miss the moving!!!

If you're able to afford two mortgages - rent your current place out. This way - if you don't like the area or your husband feels the job isn't working out - you can go back to what you call "home".....just remember - home isn't the location - it's where your family is - and your husband and kids are your family......that's MY opinion.

Don't freak! GO WITH IT!! ENJOY IT!!! Look at it as an adventure - new people to meet and new things to do!! It will be GREAT!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

1) Rent a place in SC;
2) Do NOT sell your house;
3) Stay in SC for at least 12 mos. so you know you like it there.
After 12 mos. make the final decision (keep job, sell house and move for good). It really doesn't matter if the new job is in SC or Singapore, your family needs to take the time to see if the new job & move works. And, like others suggested, take your time investigating where you might like to live near the job.
Aging parents: Very stressful, but start the dialogue about how they will cope with you far away. Do you need to start investigating assisted living facilities? Or just hire a lawn service, etc.
Just take your time. I'm telling you this because you don't sound like the kind of person who can just move at a drop of the hat. If you were, you would know this about yourself and feel more optimistic. When the decision is this stressful, allow yourself time to make decisions (it helps to make pro/con lists for each decision). Keep taking deep breaths and tell yourself that you'll get through it and that whatever the outcome, it will be a good outcome.
I wish you peace and serenity.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Well it's South Carolina so I'd move lmao. I'm from South Carolina. New is scary but clemson is a good area. You may hate humidity for a few months and have to make new friends but it could be a good experience for you. There are companies that will upkeep rent for you, just look at reviews for them. Renting is a great idea if you want to move back one day. You don't have to sell your house.

Lol julie B, SC does snow nowadays... at least in North Charleston. Not like the midwest though.

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

S.,

Can you keep your current house, have your Hubby rent a small apartment in SC, and you both commute back and forth for awhile until he is sure he loves the job?

At 46, and unemployed for the past 9 months, I would gladly pack up my son and I and move for a good job. :)

Good Luck and God Bless

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Give it 3-6mo. Let him go down on his own for a few weeks to get settled, then instead of him coming back... go meet him. Stay with him for a few weeks. Drive around neighborhoods, look for fun things to do, check out the area and the feel, figure out how you would employ yourself (work, volunteer, exercise, whatever it is you do in the midwest... find YOU stuff in SC). Check out a few rental listings in neighborhoods you like the feel of. If you find one you love, jump, but don't worry about finding "the" place just yet. Head home, for a bit, and take stock. Make sure you and your friends have Skype (for free video conferencing, when you want more than a phonecal). Meet with a financial planner who can look at your finances, your house, and the market in SC. Decide whether the smarter thing to do is sell/buy, sell/rent, lease/buy, lease/lease. Head back down to SC and go househunting (to either lease or buy as per what makes the most financial & emotional sense in the short and long term). Find a great house. Go back home for a visit and packout ((note: most companies include the packout when they're doing relocation services, all you have to do is sit in a chair and read a book while the movers pack your entire house in 1-3 days and get it on the truck)). Head to SC to be with hubby.

((PERSONALLY...my husband gets offers of work out of state or out of country at least once a year, to date none of them have been "good enough" to move, but we've worked out the financial details already... we would lease our house out, and rent where we moved to, because our house is not only our largest asset, but we also have an emotional attachment to it/ the area. Using a management company to oversee the renters / that the house is taken care of means we'd break even on the rent or even owe a couple hundred a month... but it's worth it for us to keep the asset / tax break / future sell price financially, plus the emotional attachment (fall back plan) so if we decided x place didn't work out, the longest we'd have to wait to have our home back would be 1 year, and the least would be 1 month -depending on where our renters were in their lease. We'd do a 1 year lease extendable to month to month. MY PARENTS on the other hand, moved every 2 years... military... we usually bought and sold. They bought a new house every 2 years after selling the last house -except 2 moves, when the market was crappy.))

1 mom found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My parents moved to SC when they retired. My mom actually went first to set up the new house, and my dad when 3 months later, when he retired. Their house remained unsold here for two years, which was a bit of a crunch, but it did eventually sell.

I hate that they moved so far away. They were a huge part of my older daughters life until literally the DAY AFTER she turned three, when they moved. They were very close, and it was h*** o* her. Now we see them once or twice a year at most. I had a new baby last year and because they can only come up twice, they opted to wait until she was 3 months old so we could all "do things" so they missed her birth, etc. They are missing all her firsts. They will not have the relationship with her that they had with my older daughter.

I guess if you don't have grandchildren near you, I would do it. In fact, if he needs the job, I'd do it anyhow. Sorry for venting, and if you hadn't said SC, I probably wouldn't have. :)

I know you'll find happiness even if you have to move!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.P.

answers from New York on

If I had read your post 7-8 months ago I would haves said stay where you are, where you have family and friends and support. 6 months ago we made a three year commitment to live in London due to a job assignment with my husband company. The first few weeks were extremely hard but now we love it. I am actually having a hard time thinking about going back to life in the states. I would say give it a try. Make sure you go there to visit him instead of him coming home to you each time. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I'm in Wisconsin too, I would love the chance to move somewhere warm and not have to deal with the snow. Yea it has finally melted!!!

I would diffently give it a chance, you might love it there. Unless you have a very trustworthy person to keep an eye on your house in Wisconsin, I would sell instead of rent. Renters can do a lot of damage, especially when the owners are out of state.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

S.,
My life has thrown me some very serious curve balls over the last several years. This has become my philosophy, "You can do anything for a year." Luckily, we live in a country with many, many options and now is your chance to take advantage of that fact. You can always come back.

Someone below posted giving it about 3 months, getting things in order, & then moving. I second that. This is an adventure!!

While leaving the "known" is scary, it can also be the best thing to ever happen. Don't forget, there are planes & cars & Facebook & letters & Skpye... all meant to easily keep in contact with loved ones. You'll also be the place everyone in WI wants to visit in the frigid winter!!

Enjoy!!

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I would LOVE to move to South Carolina! Of course I hate the climate where I live 6 mo. out of the year- LOL. And I LOVE to move. I guess I'm probably in the minority though. My husband hates to move- aargh!
I think of it as an adventure. There are all new things to see and do. I like checking out all the museums, historical sites, parks, zoos/aquariums, and scenic drives. Day trips are great too and offer an additional array of things to do.

I'm not trying to minimize this- I hope it doesn't sound that way- just trying to find the silver lining. I can understand why this would be hard for you- especially because of both your parents and your husband's parents. Do you have siblings that live near them? Would either set of parents (or both) want to move also? Older people often prefer warmer climates. If I were in that situation, my parents would want to move, but I doubt my DH's would. If you didn't like it there as much as WI, you could always move back in 9 yrs. That's not really so long.

As far as the house goes, I would sell it, and try to find a new home that would make you mortgage free, if possible. Wouldn't it be nice not to have a mortgage payment every month?! That might even make it possible for your DH to retire sooner- or for you to have a larger amount saved for your retirement.

I will pray, whatever you decide, that you are at peace with it :)

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

I would let him go and get settled into his new job, if he likes it go from there. While it is good that he would come home, if this job is where he wants to be, you should also go visit down there. You can start to look around, find a neighborhood that you like, check into schools if you need to, and just start to get familiar with the area. Start looking it as a great adventure, rather than a scary move. There are TONS of ways to keep in contact with people now and you can always come back and visit.
As for the house I would get it ready to put on the market, and unless you have someone that you know would help you out, don't rent. Long distance renting is never a good idea. People tend to destroy what does not belong to them and you would have no idea it is going on.
Good luck and congrats to your husband on landing a job!!!

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