Found Bruises on 14 Month Old Son

Thanks for sending us an update! I've been thinking about you and was worried too. That's strange that her husband watched you and then followed you. And as a single Mom you don't need all that either.
Keep us posted.
A.

Hi J.

Please dont take him there anymore, i'm sorry but that doesnt sound like play bruising to me.

Good Luck !!!!!

J.,

First of all I am sorry that you are faced with this...but I agree with everyone here, I would be questioning it BIG TIME and I would NOT take my kiddo(s) back there. Having a bruise on the bottom like that is not common...I dont think in my years of nannying or teaching have I EVER seen a bruise like the one you describe on the kiddo's bottom. :( Good luck in finding him a new place of care ((HUGS)) E.

Good for you! My daughter is always covered with bruises here and there or scratches here and there-on her shins and arms and I can jsut tell it is just baby clumsy owies. But she can't tell me when things aren't right or if someone hurts her and that scares me. I always check at diaper changing and bath time for marks and I pay close attention to how she acts when it is time to go to the Mommies Day Out program or to anyones house really/. You were smart not to just pass it off as anything other than what it could be.

Trust your instincts. Your instincts is a large part of being a mother. Just because she keeps her grandchild doesn't mean that she's gonna treat your baby the same way.

It seems that the woman slapped your baby right on the bare behind more than one time. I've had family to mistreat my son in favor of their grandchildren.

Jen... It's better to risk hurting someone's feelings than to risk your son's safety. Think of it like this: If you don't take up for him... then who will?

Get him outta there!!! I have a 4 year old boy and let me tell you bruises are common....on the shins elbows stuff like that. But never have I ever seen a bruise on his butt and he loves to fall on things!!!! I would look for possible babysitting alternatives. Good Luck and it is AWESOME that you care about your son soooo much that you look for these things cause they can't tell you yet!!! You are a great mom!!!

Please pull him out of there. I had a nephew who had several brusies and I listened to my sister tell me he was just a rough playing boy. Her boyfriend murdered him in a fit of rage. He died at 2 with blunt force trama to the head. Call CPS and yank him out of there today. His life could depend on it.

Wow this is a hard call but your sons interest is #1 as you know. My daughter is 18 months old and she has bruises on her legs, small ones that I don't question because I know she climbs on things, falls on things, etc. But if I ever found suspicious bruises like you're finding - I don't know what I'd do! They do sound suspicious to me though, personally. He'd have to fall pretty darn hard I would think in order to get a bruise the size you described on his bottom. I wish I had the magic words of comfort for you. Surely other moms here will. Is there someplace else you can take him for maybe a couple weeks to see how he fares during that time? How does this womans grandchild look - does she have bruises too? Tell her you're sending your son to his grandparents for a couple weeks, put him in a school or with another nanny and see how he comes out. At the end if it looks as though he's not getting bruised anymore, then maybe you can suspect she has been doing something to him. If he continues to get bruised, then maybe you can suspect he just bruises easily and you can return him to your neighbor. And if you decide to pull him, tell her you and your husband decided it's time for him to be in a school with lots of other children his age. I dunno...

But good luck!

-Char

J.,

Too many people "watch" children just for income. Babysitting/Child Care is not for everyone. This woman clearly is not someone who should be taking care of small children, we can't say she is spanking or hitting but there is definitely something wrong with your son having a bruise that covers an entire butt cheek. I can't even think of a scenario where that could happen and just one?
Move him asap. Good luck to you, I applaud you for caring enought for your son to not dismiss this as a simple accident.

Take Care!

I would be very concerned if I were you. Not so much for the bruise on the head. I have a 5yo son and his face head was always getting banged up because he climbed and got into EVERYTHING! But to me it sounds like she is using physical discipline on your child. Most daycares/sitters do not use corporate punishment anymore. If the problem persists I would definitely consider having him change sitters, not only because of his safety but because if someone else were to see the bruises may report you to CPS, and you do not want to seem like a parent that is abusive when you are not.

Hi J. - I'd document the injury and call social services to chat with someone. The bruise on his face could be from anything, a fall, etc...but the one on his bottom would mean he fell or was hit pretty hard to go thru a padded diaper. Since both things happen at your neighbors house, I'd say protect your son, cover yourself and talk with someone about it right away!

Just my two cents
C.

Your gut feeling to write this should be your gut feeling to take him out of there. Those bruises do sound very suspicious to me. My little one is the typical climber, etc. It could be an accident, but it's not worth compromising his safety. He is number one here. If something bigger were to happen, you would regret not pulling him from there. I know it's your neighbor and a sticky situation because of that, but I would go with some of the other advice you've gotten about putting him somewhere else. His safety is first. Like someone else said, she very well could be a nice lady, but maybe isn't cut out to take care of children. I'm sure it's convenient, but definitely not worth what might happen. I would also contact social services and just ask or even take him to his doctor and express your concerns. He/she may recommend you contact someone too, especially if your neighbor is caring for another infant.

J.,

I had a terrible car accident 2 years ago and was wearing my seat belt incorrectly (had the shoulder part behind me)...the bottom part of the seat belt did it's job but also left me with terrible bruising on both my legs and my left butt cheek (the belt actually cut into my muscles in my thighs and i have permanent dents in them now)...the doctor said that it takes some incredible force to bruise a butt cheek due to the padding there and the fact that it is made to sit on and whatnot...so, i am thinking with a diaper on, it would be even harder...so, the whole thing in this is...get your son outta there...hope this helps

M. c.

Hi J.,
I agree with the other Moms that it does sound very wierd to have bruises on his butt cheek. I have a very active 18 month of old son, who I call my cave boy! He has road rash on both knees, and is currently sporting a huge bruise on his forehead (he fell on our window sill). Stating all that, he has never gotten a bruise on his butt. He actually gets more scraps than bruises.
Have you discussed with your nieghbor as how she disciplines your son? Mommy knows best and if you are feeling someting, do not ignore your sixth sense on this. Believe me it is better to be safe than sorry.

I have a 14 month old daughter and she is starting to climb a lot and has taken a few tumbles. She has even had a few bruises, but a bruise on the bottom that covers an entire cheek seems excessive. I'm just not sure how a 14 month old could get an injury like that. I think you should definitely play it safe in this situation. Like another post said...if something more serious did happen, you would never let yourself live that down. It's probably worth finding other arrangements for him where you know he will be safe. Even if these injuries are from his climbing or other kids, I feel like he should be being watched more closely and taken out of dangerous situations like that. Good luck to you. I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with my daughter, so I can't imagine how difficult this situation must be for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

J., please get your son out of there pronto! I know that can be easier said than done, but all of this is suspicious. Don't take any chances and let us know what happens.

I had a similar experience with my little boy when he was a little over a year at a daycare in Plano. I was accused when I brought it up to them that I did it and was trying to blame them. I had a gut feeling something was wrong there. My son's behavior had changed dramatically and when he got home he was always starving. Needless to say I pulled my son out of there fast and no longer fill comfortable to work again. I wish now I didn't let it go on for so long and went with my gut. What you can do is tell her you just aren't comfortable with what has been happening. Either way it is negligence on her part. She should be keeping a closer eye on your son and notify you if something happens. If you really don't want to loose her as his babysitter unless something is happening you can request a nanny cam to watch her for a while. If she says no to that than you have to assume something is fishy. Either way it is best to do what your gut is telling you....nine times out of ten the instinct is always right.

I would pull him for a week or so, give his body time to heal from the "falls" and see what comes of it. Is he usually a little "dare devil" at home or play it safe? I am not sure how well I would trust at this point. She is a grandma so that tells me she believes in spanking (not to say a swat for thier attention periodically is not ok) and spanking is not ok for a child of any age. Good luck, I hope you are able to find some one who can take your son.

My advice is to trust your instincts. Two large bruises in two weeks does sound strange - really strange -especially since the sitter isn't telling you about them when it happens.

You have to go with your gut... you dont get a second chance many times..... I have a very rumble/tumble boy -- we've even been to the ER with him already to have his eye glued back together (got whacked with a golf club on accidnet by a neighbor kid-- long story) but in all his tumbles... all his falls...even down stairs at my brother in laws house because he learned how to crawl out of his pack n play and they had no babyproofing... he's never had a bruise taht bad.... I'd be concerned.... I'm jsut saying, I have a typical 2-year old.... who was a typical crawling, jumping, climbing, tumbling boy and in all his spills, there hasn't ever been a big bruise on him like that.... it seems suspicious to me... and yes, you should have been told.... so I'll just say again, you do NOT get second chances.... God gave you this gut feeling for a reason...

DON'T TAKE HIM BACK THERE!!! I have a 15 month old, and I think I would have gotten suspicious after the first. By the second, I would get him out! He comes home with bruises especially since he's just moved up to the toddler class and plays outside a lot. However, his bruises are only small ones on his legs (one on the arm from another child's bite, which was reported to me that day). I've had mine fall face first onto the tile, and he cried a lot. It was really red and raised, but there was not a bruise the next day. There's no way he could have a bruise like that on his bottom from playing and falling. He was wearing pants, and he had a pretty good padding in the diaper. Your instincts are almost always right. If you are even questioning it here, then you don't want him to go back.

If you don't want it to affect your relationship with your neighbor, just tell her something to make it not so bad. "Thank you for everything, but I'm wanting him to be in a daycare program with more children or with a curriculum." Let her know that you appreciate her keeping him, but you're ready for something different. I don't know if you can report something like that since you really have no idea, but I would maybe look into it just to see. Good luck, and if you think about it, keep us posted on what you do. Our babies don't have a voice yet, but a bruise on the face and bottom speak very loudly.

Please pull him out of that house and call social services immediately! Trust your instinct and protect your child! If you let this go, and someone else sees the bruises then you will be to blame! Like other's said, it could be nothing, but it is too strange to ignore! I hope everything works out for you! PLEASE!! Keep us posted on how your son is doing!

Hi J.,

I completely agree. No matter how much you love/like people, this is your child. I have friends that I love dearly that I wouldn't want my daughter to stay with regularly. There are so many places that are made for children, that you cannot take chances with people/places you are unsure of. I would really be more concerned with the fact that she did not even tell you about any incidents. I know when I watch my friend's son, who is much more active than my daughter, I make sure to tell her about any little thing. I feel like that's my responsibility. Even though she knows how active he is, and dismisses it, I know I would want her to do the same for me. It's just part of being mom. You want to know what happened while you were gone.

I hope all works out well. I know it will probably not be helpful this year, but I teach part-time at a private preschool here in Weatherford that is now enrolling for next school year. I'd be happy to share more if you were interested. It is one of the best places I've seen, and trust me I researched it out for both myself and my daughter. The program is very developmentally appropriate and the staff is made up of truly genuine people.

Have a great one!
A.
www.free2Bmom.com

I'm glad you removed him from that situation. My son was beaten by a licensed child care provider of 20 years @ 11 months of age...to the point where he had to have a CAT scan. Because there was no adult witness to this crime, the authorities could do nothing about it. We filed a lawsuit, just to make a point, but because there was no "permant damage" to my son, there was only enough $ granted to pay our attorney. The system is lousy, and I have been permanently damaged in trusting anyone to ever take care of my kids again.

Hi J. -

Your post set off lots of flags for me. You need to follow your insticts. My son (18mos) recently fell face first off a playground structure, tumbled head over heals finally landing on his bottom. The only bruise (thank goodness) was a few small ones on his head that were indentions from the playground pebbles!!! The big bruise on his bottom seems a bit excessive!

Good luck!

Dear J.,
Just reading your description, I would feel worried and I would get him out of there!!! It is granted that children will get little bruises and scrapes as they start to toddle around and walking. However, a bruise that covers the entire butt-cheek is an indication of a problem. That does not happen by just falling or getting pushed (especially because they are wearing padded diapers!!! As mothers, we have intuition about these situations and I think that you should follow it. Just get him out of there and find someone else for your son. Don't wait until it turns into something else!!!

That was hearbreaking to read. I would do whatever I could to get him out of there ASAP! Before it escalates to worse! Please keep us posted on what you decide to do. I will be praying for your son. God bless.

Ok now I am saying the same thing that ho 20 people have said. DON'T LEAVE HIM THERE! We have 2 boys 19 months old and a 4 years old and they have had more bruises than I can count but never anything like you are describing. Heck one of them has even pilled a dresser (Big heavy tall solid wood) down on himslef (gave me a heart-attack) but it did not even leave a mark. I would hate to think about what kind of force would cause a bruise like that.
Again good luck