Fostering a Child?

If you are seeking to form a lifelong attachment with a child, perhaps you could consider adopting a child.

Foster care is temporary. If you "can't stand the thought" of the child leaving, then foster care is not for you.

I work with foster children and the foster system and I think that if you feel that you couldn't handle a child being put back with their family, then don't do it... Unless... You can wrap your brain around what fostering is really all about. The goal of foster care is to nurture and care for (keep safe,etc) the children until their family hopefully receives the help and support they need to become better parents and get their children back. The goal of foster care is to return these kids to their families (or even extended families). Now, if you would like to adopt a foster child... There are plenty of them waiting for their "forever" home. Parental rights have already been terminated and there is no chance for them going back home. Hope this helps.

You can foster to adopt. But sadly, you might have to let a child go that you don't want to see go.
To get started, you need to contact cps and get the training info. In TX, you have to go through 30 hrs. of training. 8 hrs on Saturdays and 3 hrs. on Tuesdays (It only takes a few weeks), then you will have a notebook full of paperwork to fill out, tb tests, background checks, a fireman will come look over the house to make sure that it is fire-safe, a safety inspection and then finally you will have a home-study where a lady (or man) will come and talk to you about everything, go through the home, garage, yards, etc. to make sure all is ok and then you will be put on the list.
I only know all of this b/c my sisters are actually doing the training, etc. right now. The process takes a couple of months.
They are stoked about it and so are the rest of the family!

I cannot speak as a foster parent, but I fostered dogs for a couple of years, and I also have a friend who fostered animals with me who also fostered children, so I will pull from that emotional experience to give you some advice.

Fostering is temporary. My friend, who does not foster to adopt, has housed over 30 children, usually one at a time. Each child stayed from 2 months to over a year, but none got to stay forever. That isn't the way the foster system works at the moment. Even if you foster to adopt, there is no guarantee.

Rather than fostering and hoping to never let a child go, foster with the mindset that it is your job to give this child a loving and stable family life for as long as possible, to give the child good family memories and a sense of being loved to fall back on should times get rough in the future. If you and the child are lucky, you will have a long-term situation, but most foster children return to their parents at some point. If you live in constant fear of this, you cannot foster effectively, and will only drag the child down. You must absorb and process that this is not your child - it is a child that needs love and safety and protection that you can provide, but does not belong to you. You have the opportunity to provide that for as long as the child is with you, and hopefully make a difference in the child's life.

If you cannot stand the thought of that, I don't blame you. Even adopting out my dogs to good homes was a difficult emotional experience - I can only imagine how hard it would be to give a child back to a less-than-ideal home. You might consider adopting an older child. While infants and foreign adoptions remain popular, adoptions of older children are rare. There are risks involved in this as well, of course. If you truly want to help, you should take a deep look at your emotional strength and hangups, and then at the options that are out there, and do what you feel you can handle to make a difference. Too few people even try, so I commend you for wanting to help. I hope you will find a way.

God bless.

If you want to adopt then do not take in foster kids thinking they will be the kids you can adopt. They are supposed to be TEMPORARY homes for kids who are trying to re-unite their family.

Foster families are supposed to be role models and to work with the parents to help them learn better parenting skills and help them find better ways to be a family. Not take a child and give it a home and keep it. That does happen of course, 2 of my grand kids were adopted by their foster family. They are the most wonderful people in the world. They still foster kids too. They adopted 2 of my grand kids and one other child in the same court date.

They have had many many foster kids that went back home. They still see those kids often too. It's not like they live on another planet or something. They see them at Walmart, at the movies, at the park, they see them all the time. The families they helped get back together are stronger better families now.

Foster parenting has changed so much. I think you should sign up for the classes and go all the way through. If you do find it is not what you were thinking then it's no big deal to drop out of the program.

Becoming a foster family is a wonderful way to have shared brothers and sisters for your kids. They may end up staying and they may end up going home or even to other families. But they will be better off for having met you.

I couldn't foster a dog (my new, little, one eyed guy is on my lap), no way a human child! I know my limitations.

I did adopt my biological niece after being her guardian and that was a roller coaster.

Best of luck!

I did it and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. My main advice is, if you decide to do it, make sure the child is younger than your son. And be prepared to have to give a lot of attention to this child, which will take time away from your own son.

If you still want to do it, go for it!!

We are on our 7th set of foster kids. It's been a wonderful experience, but it does have it's challenges. I thinks the positives far outweigh the negatives though. It is a revolving door though. The goal of foster care is reunification. You are to be their family when they cannot be with their family. If you are wanting to give someone a family, you might want to check more into adoption. They have many kids on the Texas Waiting list that are waiting for forever homes. You could also do foster to adopt, but keep in mind that those children may not be available for adoption. If adoption comes available, you will get the chance. All of our children so far have either returned to their homes or gone to live with family members such as grandparents. The kids we have at the moment will most likely be with us longer. At the moment they do not have a family member who can take them into kinship care. So, they will be with us most likely until their parents complete their court requirements. They have a year to complete their requirements and then parental rights are terminated. Sometimes it takes a bit longer- caught in litigation. We have some friends now who are more on the adoption path. Their foster kids will probably be forever part of their family late summer/early fall. I agree with others that it does seem to work better if the kids are younger than your own. The same age can work too, but can cause some competition. We have truly loved fostering kids. We have 2 biological kids too and it's a wonderful outreach for them as well. It is challenging for them at times to adjust to kids in their home- jealously or understanding why some may behave a certain way. However, it's a wonderful way to teach them to care for others who are in need and show love and empathy. Honestly, tonight my son is having a rough time with the younger kids and doesn't want them here. However, many times he is caring and playing a lot. Foster care is a time for everyone in our family to work on putting others before ourselves. He's having a tough time tonight with selfishness, but he's a kid and has those moments. It is h*** o* him sometimes, but I know that he has also grown and loved others greatly throughout it all. He's seen that others have it much worse and he needs to appreciate his loved ones and all he has been blessed with.

Foster care and adoption gets the horror stories from the media and the squeaky wheel. You hear more drama about negatives than positives, but I can put you in touch with so many foster parents who can tell you what an amazing experience it can be. I'm not saying it's all roses, we have had a tough placement before, but those kids need love soooo much. They need someone to advocate for them and love them. They need a positive, stable, loving home. Many times, they just didn't have that role model and with patience, time, love, structure, and understanding, they too can adjust. Oh as far as seeing them leave, it's been fine because they are so happy to see their families. I miss them and will always have a place for them in my heart, but happy that they get to be with their family. We haven't had an issue yet where I've feared for their safety upon return. They just chill with grandparents. I have kept in touch with 3-4 sets of kids, but the others I think of often and hope they are doing well. After they leave, it's up to them to contact us. Once contact is made, we continue. However, when they leave CPS cannot give us their contact info. We give it to the kids and they call. I keep up with one set through Facebook and the others through phone calls. The rest are in my prayers and I know that God is looking out for them. It's sad when they go, but it really is best for them to be with family if at all possible. I know if my kids were ever in foster care, I would want them with my family.

If you are interested in Texas Waiting or foster care, our agency is great. We use Buckner. They regularly have informational sessions. If you have any more questions or want to chat, send me a message.
:) Good luck!

Someone once told me that it is good to foster children younger than your own children. That way if there are problems it will have less of an impact on your children because your children will not view the foster child as a role model.

God bless you for wanting to foster.

I agree with the others who are suggesting maybe adopting a foster child may be a better option for you. You can foster a child whose parents' rights have been terminated (permanently lost custody), and if it seems like a good fit you can move forward with the adoption process. Keep in mind though, that not all placements work out, and you may end up fostering several children before you are able to adopt. Please talk to other foster parents and do some soul searching to figure out if this is really the path you want to take. It's an honorable and wonderful desire you have to help a child in need. However, the reality may not be what you envision. Talk with others who have first-hand experience and can help you form realistic expectations. If you're still interested, then contact Child Protective Services for information on how to start the process of becoming a foster family. Best wishes!