8 answers

Foster Care - North Scituate,RI

I've been seriously considering foster care lately and I was hoping to get some insight from others who have fostered. I have a 7yo & a 4yo, so I would be interested in fostering a child under 3yo. I grew up with biological, adopted and foster siblings, so I know a bit about it. I also have a sister who fostered to adopt. My main concern is how hard it may be to care for a child and then return them to the home they got taken away from. I also am concerned about how that may affect my children because they are so young. Any stories or insight would be appreciated. I feeled compelled to seriously consider fostering, but I'm unsure that I'll be able to deal with the heartbreak that's sure to come with it.

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I have never fostered, but I was in foster care for a several years as a minor. Your experience will differ with each child, and the experiences each child will have had. I have known other foster children who had a very difficult time because their experience with foster care wasn't a positive one for them. But for myself, foster care bettered my life and gave me a bright future. Younger is definitely easier, though there are aspects that may be harder. In my experience, it is easier to care for a young child because usually their bad experience with possibly (for lack of a better term) unhealthy parents is more limited than with an older child. Keep in mind however, the younger the child, the harder they are to get placed with you. Many people want the younger children, because behaviorally wise they are easier in some ways. Its harder for a toddler to have a intense argument than a teenager.
As to your question about how hard it would be to care for a child and then watch them go back to a home where they were removed from? I think I can safely say that it could potentially be heartbreaking. I have seen rough cases where the parents were not able to have direct, unsupervised communication with their children who were in foster care and when the foster parents enforced this for the safety of the child, parents may become hostile and think of the foster parents in the wrong light. In that case, it may be difficult for you to continue to have any sort of relationship with the child afterwards, as I have seen happen with many foster families.
Either way, it is an amazing way to make a difference in a childs life. But it definitely isn't easy. The state can be difficult at times, the biological parents, and even the child (all depending on the circumstances) may cause stress. But dont, by any means, let that discourage you. There are so many children out there whose families are unable to parent them as they need, and those children really need people who are willing and eager to give them a safe and loving home. Good luck and I really that if you decide to become a foster parent, you have an amazing experience with it.

1 mom found this helpful

If you are concerned about fostering and sending the children back to a bad situation, you might want to consider fostering for Catholic Charities in your area for an infant adoption program. You would have the infants for about the first month of their life, until all of the legalities are finished. That way you know you are sending the babies off to a wonderful life. On the other hand, you sound like such a perfect foster mom for the children with a more troubled life. Either way, you are doing a wonderful thing and good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

Personally I would wait until your children are older and more self sufficient, they need all of your attention at this age Mom. You have a big heart but I would wait.

1 mom found this helpful

I think that Icey's comment was very well-said. My job is to train, license, and support foster families. I can tell you that, no matter what or how much you prepare or how experienced you are, when a child leaves your home, it will hurt. There will be tons of emotions, but it will never be easy. I know this from working with many, many foster families at all levels of experience and will all types of children. Whether they go back to the parents or move on to an adoptive home or other family members, it will always be very difficult to let them go. You just have to be ready to accept this, and you have to know yourself and know your family well. You need to consider what are the things that will help you and your family "pick up the pieces." It can be done, and every foster family I have worked with has said that they do not regret having fostered. It does take a very special person to open their home and heart like that, and I admire you for even considering it. You should also rely on your social worker, or trainer/licenser, to guide you through the process and to help you prepare. I say go for it- It can't hurt to at least explore it further. And again, on behalf of all the children who need a safe home for a while, thank you for considering this.

We call the kids our borrowed brother or borrowed sister, that helps the kids know they are temporary. They can still love them and accept them but also see the process of your modeling parenting to the biological parents too during visits and other activities.

2 words--- Do it!!! If you think about it too much you won't. There are lots of kids that could use a nice family to lean on in their time of need.

Updated

2 words--- Do it!!! If you think about it too much you won't. There are lots of kids that could use a nice family to lean on in their time of need.

I was a foster care I was placed in very bad foster homes the whole foster care system need a lot of fixing I have 2 kid my kids been in foster since 2008 I dont have a good case worker the worker she tell way too many my kids are suffering in the foster home my kids did not have good foster parents I had a public defender on my case he did do nothing on my case my kids are still in foster care suffering my I had paid attorney on my they did not do nothing on my my kids are still in foster care suffering my public defender filed a appeal for me I did not win the appeal the public defender closed my case out when I did not win the appeal my kids are still in foster care suffering Im in need of a good fighting attorney to take my case the worker want my kids to be put for adoption / sale I told her my kids are not for sale I need a good fighting attorney here in O. I need help bring my 2 kids home safe out of foster care my kids family is willing to take my kids I would like to know if anyone know about the interstate compact my kids family already had the home study done for the placement the worker in chicago il denied the placement we are a family in need of help getting my kids out of foster care I need help like asap

R., foster care is my dream come true. My husband won't do it, and this is not the life I had intended to live. I want to do foster care more than anything. So, best of luck to you.
It's a great thing, go for it!!!

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