Forced Vomiting

I'd be concerned about quite a few things with this behavior.
6 is a little young for an eating disorder, but it almost sounds like what she has - bulimia. Throwing up this often is bad for her teeth and esophagus - the stomach acid can eat away at them.
At least she eats breakfast (can you server her scrambled eggs most suppers?) but I'd also be worried about her growth and development and nutritional problems.
I'd be taking her to her doctor and/or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and see what they have to say about it.

Not to say that she doesn't need counseling in general, but the book - The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that Really Works! by John Rosemond actually addresses that exact scenario with a child of similar age. It's about control and attention. His recommendation is in 'The Doctor' chapter. It goes like this - Tell her that you and her mom have spoken to 'The Doctor' about her vomiting problem and He/She said that it's from her not getting enough sleep --- So every day that she does this, she will need to go to bed at least one or two hours early that night to make sure she gets the required amount of sleep to help 'Her problem'. When it happens, don't be scolding, but be sympathetic, like - "oh i'm so sorry you got sick at meal time today, you must not be getting enough sleep and you know what The Doctor said... you will need to go straight to bed after dinner...." Obviously as adults we know that it's not really because she hasn't gotten enough sleep that she is throwing up, but after enough nights of missing her evening privaledges as a result of Her actions (going to bed early should naturally result in missing playtime, cartoon time, reading time) she will fix Her problem on Her own. Regardless of what you do, it's important that both families have to be on the same page and follow through.

She needs to see a counselor. This is not a quick fix. She has a serious issue and is looking for control. Your comment, "she only does this at lunch & dinner" - what else is there besides breakfast? How is her health? Someone needs to take action NOW.

B said it was Bulimia...possible, but Bulimics tend to purge in private, and 6 is extremely young. It sounds more like she knows its a tactic to get her way, and only eat what she wants. In that way, it does sound like bulimia, as purging is a way that those with an eating disorder attempt to control their life. Everything else is someone else's decision/power, but she can control what she eats, or doesn't. It's also an effective tactic to control the behavior of adults. She must see it throws everyone in a tizzy, and I'm guessing adults are really trying to accomidate her to make it stop. It should like your stepdaughter needs counseling, N.. Is she having trouble adjusting to being in a two household family?

Alternately, maybe your little girl is easily nauseated by food. Perhaps she has serious food intolerances. Have you had her examined by a pediatric gastroenterologist?

Good luck!

N.,
She need a counselor who specializes in eating disorders.
How does your husband communicate with the ex? Maybe family counseling is in order also.
Good luck and God bless.
Victoria

Sounds like she has an issue of some sort that a doctor needs to know about. It could be psychological. I'd get on board with her mom and have her seen and checked out. Scary.

WOW. Does her mom have an eating disorder? I would agree, she needs to be seen by a doctor, this is serious on so many levels. Throwing up erodes the tissue in your throat and can cause all sorts of problems, in addition to the obvious. What does her mother say, and how long has this been going on? I am surprised that the school hasn't stepped in yet, if this has happened more than once

Maybe a phobia of certain foods? I would check with a gastroenterologist and a therapist.

I would let her pack her own lunch instead of getting a tray.
See if that stops the behavior.
Sometimes kids just want to have choices.
It could be the lunch time vomiting is her way of getting out
of school. If you know she isn't sick leave her at school.

I would be furious! She is old enough to know better! I would sit her down during her next visit and say, "things are going to change, here are the new rules" I would tell her that from now on she will eat what foods are on her plate that are edible to most...don't put brussel sprouts on her plate and expect her to eat them. Tell her that if she makes one vomiting gesture she will either be excused and go to bed early and hungry OR if she does it, she will not be allowed to have ANY treats or her favorite foods or dessert until she stops this absurd behavior. she obviously gets away with it so she continues. I would make really sure she understood this would NOT continue at school or she will go hungry and when she gets home from school, she will sit down and have another crack at eating the lunch that was packed for her. If she does it again, she will leave the table and return when she is ready to be polite and have manners. good luck

This is almost certainly nothing to do with food. This child needs counseling immediately, and you, your husband, and your step daughter's mom all need to be on board with getting her help.

You might want to investigate sensory processing disorder. My son has this if the wrong food or smell is in the same room he will vomit. It may he worth looking into. Good luck.

I agree with Amy. Children learn all kinds of ways to gain control, wield power, or simply to get attention - but this seems extreme. You definitely need to seek professional help before this does turn into an eating disorder.