For Christian Moms - Giving It All to God

I may not be understanding your question completely...
You can't *fix* your husband's pain or depression, right? But you can continue to pray for him.
God won't pay your bills, but he will provide the strength and health for you to work.
I always believe that things happen for the right reason in God's time, not ours, but that doesn't stop me from helping myself! After all, God helps those that help themselves right?
Maybe it's little more about relinquishing control of things you *think* you're holding together but really aren't? That's HUGE.
As the primary breadwinner and caregiver in your house, you need to take care of YOURSELF! Put YOU back on the list as well.
Best of luck and God Bless!

I'm in the minority here, but I've never subscribed to "God helps those who help themselves". That phrase cannot be found anywhere in the Bible (and I think it's pretty much the definitive resource ;). What CAN be found in the Bible is this:

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. -Psalm 55:22

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. -Philippians 4:6

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. -Isaiah 41:10

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." -Matthew 6:34

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?" -Matthew 6:25

"I, yes I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear?" -Isaiah 51:12

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. -Luke 12:7

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. -Matthew 7:11

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs." -Matthew 6:31-32

And there are hundreds of verses like that in the holy book. When I need to give it all to God, I spend a little extra time every day reading my Bible (I read it every day, but sometimes I need to read more! :). Spending some time with God in his Word is one of the most surefire ways I know to calm myself down!

I also, like Mary L, "dump" on God a lot! My favorite times to pray are: in the shower, when I'm doing dishes, laundry (we hang our laundry outside and I LOVE to pray for each person as I hang their laundry up! You can do the same thing when folding laundry :), or cleaning, and when I'm outside watching the kids.

If you come to the Lord in prayer, and tell him all your worries, then he can give you peace of mind. Remember that King David himself, who was "a man after God's heart", often complained to God! Job was ANGRY at God! Both these men were called righteous; because they TRUSTED in God. You can scream and cry to God, he can take it. :) All you have to do is remember that it is HE who is in control!

Giving it all up to God is a simple matter in word, but quite difficult to do the first few times in practice. After a while it becomes first nature. :) First, pray to God and tell him all your worries and cares and fears. Then tell him "Lord, I know all things are in your hands, and that I cannot do anything without you. Please give me the FAITH and STRENGTH to carry out YOUR WILL!".

Then, every time you find yourself worrying, stop, take a deep breath, and pray. It doesn't have to be a long prayer, but just a simple "help me remember it's in your hands" will help calm your worried soul.

Giving it to God doesn't mean you stop doing what you can do to help your husband or your family. It's knowing that YOU have NO control and that YOU cannot prosper outside of God's will! When you do what the Lord asks of you, then you are acting according to his will and will be rewarded. BUT remember; the reward is not always for this life or on this Earth!

Also, give a listen to "Starry Night" by Chris August. It's an amazing song!

Hang in there, mama. We'll be praying for you. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, even just to vent. :)

Dear Mama-

This is an amazing question of faith and one that as a Christian, I think we all struggle with. These are the times that we grow in our faith the most.

The "HOW" is always so difficult for me too... How do you "let go"?

For me, letting go means taking time out for me to reconnect with God. This can be small things like saying a prayer for someone else in need, appreciating my child(ren)'s smile, taking the time to hear a bird twitter, listening to the rain patter off the roof or whatever. These may be small instantaneous moments that God is begging me to see. I also try to reconnect to the "larger world" by taking a long walk (~1/2 hr plus, if I can) at least once a week. I especially try to focus on my breathing during these times, kind of an "in with the good (aka God's blessings) and out with the bad (all my stress!!)". The physical exertion is good for me too as when I am physically tired (not exhausted, just not so jumpy), my mind is clearer and I am more likely to "listen" to and for Him.

I am a type A personality so trying to "let go" and "listen" and not try to "handle things by myself" are constant struggles for me. The idea that someone bigger and smarter is controling things is difficult for me to accept at times, but I have learned two things - (1) He really does know best and (2) the more you fight it, the harder things get.

Keep praying and I hope, despite the struggles and daily grind, that you can find small moments which remind you that He has a plan and never leaves you and which can also give you peace and restrengthen you.

Blessings and Love,
~C.

Amen to MomofSixMiracles

1 Peter 5:7 (King James Version) Castin all your cares upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified-the break it down version) Casting the whole of your care all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

Talk to God like you have talked to us here then wait to hear from God. You will hear from God through His Word, through the people of God, and of course through hearing his voice which will give you peace in your heart. And when you get that nagging feeling that you need to fix and handle things by yourself understand that isn't how God made us to be. As the body of Christ we need each other to survive. Call on and rely on your brothers and sisters in Christ to help you. If your church family isn't that kind of family then find one that is and enlist their help with everything you are going through. Help isn't just prayer though prayer is helpful. Help also includes hands on. It sounds to me like you could use some more hands on help.

You show God how much you trust him by acting out your faith. Faith is an action that is shown by how you respond to the pressures of life.

I'll be praying for you Mama Bear. Be well and be blessed.

Trust God to be Lord of your life and help you through this but you must teach yourself to keep going to God and asking him for what you need expecting he will give you just

I hear you! You're very burdened, and you don't know what the future holds. And God promises to take care of you. This is the sort of time when you realize whether you believe that or not.

I have found, when I've been in that situation, that I pester God a lot! I "dump" on Him (He knows my feelings anyhow so I may as well express them!), I go ahead and do what I know I need to do, and sooner or later I find that God has been in charge and working behind the scenes all along. Playing "what if" is something I have to try to eliminate from my thinking. Philippians 4:6-7 comes to mind; there are others as well. The "peace" doesn't mean having all the answers right now, or being smiley and comfortable, or even knowing that there will be the "right" ending, but knowing that you're not abandoned. When I can say, "All right, Lord, I trust you that you're going to make everything work out the way YOU want it to be, and what you want is OK with me," I can go on.

It's hard to answer your kind of question here - it feels incomplete and inadequate. Do you know your pastor so well that you can share these questions? Or seek out an older woman at your church, someone who is spiritually more mature, to talk with. You might be surprised to find what challenges the Christian women right around you have dealt with over the years. You're not alone.

Denise said it so well.. .God helps those who help themselves! He will give you the strength - emotionally and otherwise to get through the tough times. The Serenity Prayer is so helpful... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference... so true. Also, a gratitude list/prayer each day can keep you focused on the positive in your life when it's hard to see (healthy child, job, your health etc). And last, but not least, be kind to yourself! Blessings.

I totally agree with Denise P. Continue to pray, have Faith. I once read, "If he brought you to it, he will walk you through it"! I strongly believe everything happens for a reason. And only our Heavenly Father knows why. Keep your faith and please continue to pray. I too will pray for you and your family.

You have received some wonderful answers and scriptures to meditate on. Honestly sometimes in the mist of bad times I find it hard to get my Bible out. I just remember that the Holy Spirit can list up my prayers for me when I can't find the words. Amy Grant's song "Better than a Hallelujah" has been something I listen to lately.
I would just add that I read biographies and autobiographies of people who have overcome adversity. I also see movies with that theme. Recently seeing Soul Surfer really helped me. I went back and saw it a second time.
I've had to deal with a lot of adversity in my life and especially this year. But at the same time I realize my life is so much better than most women in the world. So I also try to keep things in perspective.

I think you can tell from many of these responses that you're not alone in this. We know we need to let it all go and trust God to take care of it, but easier said than done. Like others have already said, it's a process. Not a one-time deal. I find that when I let something go and give it over to God (and I really mean it at the time), it's temporary. Before I know it, I'm trying to take it back again!

In my experience, God gives us these very trying circumstances to teach us things like learning to trust in His plan and provision, even when it seems to us that everything is simply falling apart around us. You will probably have to entrust your difficult circumstances to God over and over and over again. Just keep going to Him in prayer and through His word. Over and over. Every time you find yourself trying to take over, go back again. But He is working through this and will do something beautiful! He is able!

One last thought: these overwhelming, difficult and busy times are the times we (or at least I) are most tempted to neglect time reading the Bible. But this is the time we need it most. Make it happen. You will not be sorry if you spend time in His word. He will speak to you. He will provide just what you need to hear from Him. He will teach you. Just listen as you read.

I'm the one who has to take care of everything too while my husband works two jobs... except I'm the one with chronic pain and an immuno-compromised system. I also have chronic depression, anxiety, and OCD. I have a child with special needs and two typical children. My plate is full.

Thankfully we have a good support system, including our church, but I have to remember to take time for myself. Time to rest, time to eat, time to hydrate, time to enjoy my husband's company, time to enjoy extended family and friends... and time to pamper myself even if it's just getting my hair and nails done every 6-8 weeks.

But most importantly in my upkeep of myself? I see a therapist regularly to help get rid of all of my mental gunk. It helps as much as prayer does. It helps me gain some unbiased perspective from someone who knows me well, who cares, but isn't telling me what I want to hear because that's what they think I need to hear.

I'm a christian woman myself, and until you do give it all to God you will be stressed out. God does want you to trust fully in him... why did it take Moses 40 years to go around the mountain, because God was showing he is in charge, not them... yes, he let them whine but he feed them every day with manna... I heard a sermon once that all the elders who knew better than God had to die out, and the young ones who put their trust fully in God saw the promise land... God keeps ALL of his promises... If you can do it all, why do you even need God?
Now, I'm not going to preach to you and then tell you, I don't struggle with the same problems you are. But every time I let God lead, he provides for me. I do not worry like I use too, and I do put more and more faith into him. I struggle too with letting go and letting God in charge. I have $5.00 in my account right now, very little food in my refrigerator and only get paid on the 1st of the month and it's the 14th... I'm not worried like I should be, like I would have been 10 years ago... because I've been here before and God has always came through and he'll do it again!
I guess for me, I do trust in God, and I let down my guard and I just give it to him and believe...
I remember when I was little and this man came to our church and he said... "If you worry you are going to die, if you don't worry, you still are going to die... so why worry..." So why worry about today, give it to God, let him bless you and the people around you... My friend you will be alright because I know you are a Proverbs 31 woman!
God Bless!

God is still teaching me this. I am doing all I can to get the word of God into me, good Christian teaching, and lots of prayer. I try and struggle to make my world work out the way I think it should. But on some level I do realize that only God's plans and God's ways are right for me. I look forward to reading the rest of the answers on this thread and would love for more questions like this and more Christian conversations to be on here.

"Giving it all to God" doesn't mean you physically sit back and do nothing. It means you simply have more faith, more trust and more dependency on him to strengthen you, guide you and provide the help you need spiritually to cope.

So for instance you have to have the kind of belief and trust that gives the control to God. Think of it like sitting in a car on the highway, letting go of the steering wheel and allowing someone you have never seen drive the car. Can you rest mentally knowing that he knows what he is doing, he knows where to take you and he knows where he is going and all you have to do is MENTALLY relax, rest and trust that HE can handle it, EVEN while going thru the trials and problems you face! That's what it means to give it to God.

To accomplish this takes practice. So find a read scripture versus that will strengthen your faith, listen to encouraging words, and pray. You will and can do it with God's help. As long as you are breathing, you have hope!

I don't know that there's an easy answer to your question. You are going through a very difficult time right now, and what you're feeling is completely understandable.

I've struggled with this as well. I guess when I lie in bed at night, I try to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am doing the best that I can and that's all that anyone can ask of me. I try to remind myself that God is always there, that he truly knows what I am going through and that he is helping me in ways that I may not notice or may not understand.

Songs help me a lot. Michael W Smith has written a couple of songs that help: "I Will Be Here For You," "Place in This World," "Thy Word" (Amy Grant recorded it, also). Some songs from church: "You Are Near" by Dan Shutte and "You Are Mind" by David Haas. If you want the lyrics to any of those songs just send me a message and I'll email them to you.

I hope it helps to know that people are thinking of you and praying for you. You'll get through it :-)

"Trust in God, but tether your camel."

I know, we don't use camels in the U.S. But, you get the gist I hope...

I wish I had a magical Christian answer that worked immediately.

But I have learned the hard way that my walk with the Lord, is precisely that, a walk, a journey, no instant answers.

My two favorite prayerful thoughts are the Serenity prayer:

"God, give me the courage to change the things that I can, the grace to accept the things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." Old, but always true.

When I feel the weight of world on my shoulders, and I know that's an exaggeration, I pray in those moments that God please reveal his will to me and please teach me how to cast all my cares and concerns upon Him...for He cares what happens to you. (1 Peter 5:7) And for me, this usually means to simplify, simplify, and let go of perfectionism.

And remember, faith does not get you out of trouble, faith gets you through it.

be with God more. that's my thought. anytime you have a moment read the bible. go to church wed nights and sunday mornings. the more often your learning and thinking and talking about him the less time you are thinking stressing on life. it's easier to know what to do when you are closest to God. if you are in groups at church such as sunday school and wed night bible study these others in class with youand even the church can be praying for you. the more people praying about you the stronger you will feel. this will be a good thing for your child to do also as he/she will have this positive influence and when there may finally be able to relax ...they feel tension at home too.

When I went through the worst time in my life, I learned that it is more than giving it all to God. Once we give it all over, we fret and stress and worry about if He will take care of it our way. Once we give it to Him, we need something to fill that space. Here is what I did. Each day, sometimes each minute or hour, I would ask God to walk me through the next circumstance or the next task. I asked Him to comfort me and give me peace. He took my circumstances and covered me in His peace and gave me His joy in the midst of my circumstances. Ask Him for peace and joy. He will give it and know that He can handle your life and you can be at peace.

One of my favorite verses and a promise I cling to in times of trial is Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

With a promise like that, I know God can handle my life and He will get me through anything that comes my way.

We speak to the Lord through prayer, he answers us through the scriptures.
During a particularly difficult time of my life I was taking a religion class. I read the scriptures every day, partly to keep up with the class, partly because I knew I'd feel better if I did. I read them even when I really didn't feel like it. The funny thing is, I made it through that time with flying colors and a great amount of clarity. I couldn't pinpoint one particular thing that I read, but I know that reading everyday was a big part of my healing. I'd write down things that really struck me and post them in my room, bathroom, etc. as a reminder everyday. Sometimes we need those reminders staring us in the face.
And, of course, pray, pray, pray. The Lord listens. He is mindful of you and your needs.

God answers all prayers...He just might not answer them the way you want them answered...

I'm sorry your husband is going through this. It sucks. Has he been tested for Fibromyalgia or Rheumatoid Arthritis? Those are the two diseases I know of that cause pain and depression....

Just because you are giving God control - handing the steering wheel over to Him for your life - doesn't mean that you just sit back as a passenger...YOU have to work it to.....it's NOT just about praying - it's about being active - PROACTIVE...

This is going to sound mean - but please know it is NOT - you need to get off your pity pot right now - you've stated your concerns, now take a look around you and assess what you have and don't have - assess what you need and prioritize it...then work with God on these things...pray about it - LISTEN for God - but don't just sit around waiting for God to drop it in your lap....that's not how it works...YOU HAVE ALL THE TOOLS YOU NEED TO GET WHERE YOU NEED TO GO!!! God took care of this - as Victoria Osteen just said this past week - God packed your bags for you - you have it WITHIN you to get 'er done....

You DO know HOW to do it - you just need the confidence TO DO IT...that's the hard part - grabbing from down deep and putting your moxie into it.

If things are falling apart - maybe God is trying to remake them...do you have a sand castle or a fortress? It's not easy...God doesn't just "give it to us" - we have to make it and earn it.....look beneath everything that you feel is falling apart and see what lies beneath - THAT's the scary part....

God WILL carry all of your burdens for you...promise you that - but YOU have to work it, He won't just come down here and tell you to sit down and let me fix it - HE IS GIVING YOU THE TOOLS to fix it....He HAS given you the tools to fix it....you just need to prioritize and work WITH God on getting it done...

I'm not really sure of the answer to your question, but I have found an online support group for people who who have a spouse/ family member suffering from depression. We all need support when we are going through rough times.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression-Supporters/supp...

Blessings...

I put out there that I have done what I know to do and I am open to hearing your suggestions, please guide me in a direction that is for my and my family's best good and actually MEAN it.