Food on the Ground! Ahhh

I think it's pretty normal for kids this age to throw things on the floor. Hard to do, but the best advice I've heard (which really seems to work if you can do it) is to just ignore the behavior. If you give her back her food, it may seem like a game. If you get upset about it, then she's learned "oh, if I throw food, it makes mommy upset - how interesting, I think I'll try again." I would try to ignore it, or just clean up what's on the floor and throw it away, not give it back. (My youngest used to throw sippy cups on the floor. After we started taking them away instead of returning them, he realized if he wanted something to drink, he better not throw it on the floor.)

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Hi B.,

This is very normal behavior. If your daughter is hungry, she will eat. Don't worry about her starving- just continue to offer her the healthy choices that you are comfortable with. When my 19 month old son throws his food on the floor, I assume he is not hungry. I tell him, "You are throwing food on the floor. It looks like you are all done eating. Now it is time to clean up the floor." When he started this behavior, I would help him pick up his food off the floor, walk over to the trash can, and throw it away, but now he can do it all by himself. Rest assured, this is not an every day occurance, but he does still throw food on the floor now and then. Usually, he says "done" when he's finished eating, and as long as I respond to him, and let him get down from his chair, no food will be thrown. I have not been brave enough to give him a bowl or a plate, though. He still eats directly off of his highchair tray with a fork, spoon, or his fingers. I'm afraid that a bowl or a plate that can so easily be thrown would be too great a temptation for him!

C. : )

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Hi there B.-
From the way it sounds, this is pretty normal. Just remember how still very young she is and trying to learn so much. Some of what she is doing is learning different textures and tastes, but she is also testing her boundries.
The first thing my sons peditrician said at his 12month appointment: There will be alot of days that he will only eat one meal. Please do not take this personal, and please be patient, Their bodies are going through so many changes that is he eats 3 meals a day, it may be rare. Be happy if he eats one good meal. If he is hungry he will eat.
So knowing this, I do try to be patient. But when he starts to play with his food excessively or start to throw it on the floor, I take the food away and say its not ok to play with your food. If he is hungry he will ask for it. But in my mind set, I have him stay in the high chair, when its time to eat dinner, its dinner time. And I want him to get used to staying at the table until everyone is done. Also for the future when we go to the restaurants, he wont be able to get up and play there, so Im teaching him table manners now.
There are so many things to think about and everyone has their own way and way of thinking, so read them all see what will work for you and your baby..
My son is 18 months this Friday
a and some days it is still hard, hang in there!
And good luck...

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Brake the habit now, give her one warning. If you throw your food you will be done. If she throws it again take her down from the table. My son had the same problem, he didn't starve he knew after a few times if he through his food it would be taken away. Good Luck....

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Hi B.,
I have the same problem with my 2 year old son. When he starts to throw his food on the ground, I take him out of his seat, make him pick it up and then I put him back in his seat and tell him that if he is done he needs to say done, and down please. Some nights we have to do this several times before he will stop but it doesn't seem to be happening as often anymore. As for Rebekah not eating enough and going hungry, I use to worry about this too, but she could be going through a growth spurt or teething and may not be that hungry. When she is done eating, save her food on the counter and if later in the evening she does seem to be hungry, put her back in her seat and give her the dinner she didn't want to eat earlier. I do this with my son and if he is truly hungry he'll eat it, if he doesn't eat it then I know he's had his fill and it's time to start the night night routine. But by giving him the dinner that he didn't want to finish earlier, he is learning that he doesn't get to pick and choose the snack foods over his dinner. Another fun thing we do is the M&M dispenser. I bought one of those fun ones, that the M&M's go down a little slide and the M&M characters go up and down on a teeter totter and he knows that if he eats his dinner nicely, he gets to spin the wheel for the M&M's to come down the slide and have a few M&M's from his dispenser- it's an nice reward for him for eating nicely and he thinks this dispenser is the funniest thing ever. I hope this helps some. Good luck...
Take Care,
H. W.

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Hi B., I have the same issue with my 14 month old. Some foods that she does not want, she chews a little bit and spits it out on the floor or smashes it in her hands and then she'll put it back in her mouth. she will go through this process for a few minutes before she moves on to something else. I'd say if your daughter continues to spit her food out, try to give her something that she likes for sure. My daughter really loves mashed potatoes so when she goes into spitting things out, then I just give her those mashed potatoes. I wouldn't suggest you do this all the time because it'll become costly but over the next week or so watch her and see if she does this on certain foods or if she does this with all of her foods. She may just be exploring food like most toddlers do at this age and wants to pick it up and play with it and then eat it.

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I would try clearing her tray and removing her from the family dining area if she does that at this age. It's very common at age 1, when they are just learning to feed themselves, and they are testing boundaries (and how mom, dad, or another care giver will react.)

I would also use the bowls that stick to the table so she can't get the entire bowl on the ground. If she throws food, tell her firmly NO! then remove her from the area. She will eventually learn she can't eat with you if she acts like that, and she will eventually be hungry enough to actually eat.

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Let her go hungry and don't let her graze during the day to ensure that she is hungry at meal time. When she starts throwing on the floor remove her from the talbe/high chair. Or maybe she is full and remove the food. Are you keeping her for family meal time? Remove the food and give her a toy or cup to keep her busy during family meal time.
I am a firm believer in spanking, but this isn't a situation that warrants it. A firm no and repeat. If she doesn't listen she's in her room.

Hi B.,
Well there is a lot of advise out there and I want to give you mine.
As a little person one of the first realizations is that they are not apart of you. Once this is realized they start testing where you end and they begin. Unfortunatly the mouth is the first stand. So they will say no I don't want that. So what I did was verbalize this feeling and say "well it sure is yummy, it's to bad you don't want to eat ----, but I will leave it here just in case you change your mind."
Then I would work really hard to not watch my son decide he wanted to eat. The hardest part is watching them make the mess, but they are exploring the world, textures, shapes and smells. So even now that my son is almost 3yrs old, he still takes over 30 minutes to eat. Less mess, but he still is exploring his food.
The best of luck to you, don't worry about the mess and know that if you say out loud what is fustrating your daughter you'll see that she will calm down. Because you just showed her you understand.

Your daughter is of the age when she is learning cause and effect of her behavior on her environment. This is NORMAL behavior for a toddler!!!

At 14 months, she is not trying to be disobedient or purposely not listenting to you....she is simply learning how what she does has an effect in the world. Yes, it is exasperating to have to deal with, but it is necessary for her physical and cognitive development. It is part of her maturation process and needs to be dealt with patience and consistent application of natural and logical consequences to her behaviors. That is how she will learn what to do and what not to do....spanking will not teach her that!!!!!

Please STOP spanking a barely over 1 year old! Discipline is meant to TEACH your child...spanking only teaches her that those who are bigger than her can exert their power physically to get control. This is not a lesson you want her to learn! You also don't want to teach her to mind her into submission out of fear that if she doesn't, mommy will hurt her. Spanking is really about parents reacting out of anger and trying to regain control again when feeling helpless in a situation while dealing with their child. People can rationalize it all they want, but really, that is what it comes down to. And if you were spanked and you "turned out alright", it still doesn't mean it was the correct way to deal with you when you were a child!

Those who've suggested you CALMLY reply that she looks like she is finished eating and take the food away are correct. Then, pick her up and have her assist you in picking up the food off the floor, or wherever it ended up. This will teach her the effect that if I throw my food, 1.) I have to pick it up and 2.) I don't have it available to eat. She won't starve to death from missing one meal and she'll be all that more likely to eat the next one offered her.

My intention is not to lecture you as you sound like a very caring and concerned mother! I just cringe everytime I hear parents spanking their children, especially those who are basically still infants. There are MUCH better ways to teach your child lessons. The catch is that, yes, it will take longer to teach without using physical force, but you will be teaching the CORRECT lesson you really want your child to learn; not that bullies get their way through physical might in this world and that you better listen or those around you might hurt you!

Sincerely,
S. M. Wolf, M.A.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
www.SandyMWolf.com
& Mom to an almost 6 year old boy...yes, I went through this very same behavior when he was that age! :-)

Dear B.,

Go on About.com/pediatrician and read all they have to say about people under two years old.

Just remove her from the table when she starts throwing. If you sit with her during her dinner time it would be better, and she might be more inclined to eat if you are being conversational - as much as you can. Remember you are the love of her life at this moment. Have some extra food on your 'plate' and offer that to her. Just clean her up without much fussing if she doesn't eat too much. And take her down from the table and give her something else to do.

She will start eating when she is hungry, and will not faint if she doesn't eat well for a while. Our brains and body want to live and her brain and body will make sure that she eats when it is necessary for growth and health.

I always gave my daughter snacks when she asked for them and everyone told me that I was spoiling her - her dinner - her eating habits, etc. But she turned out fine, and is still thin - she respects food and cooks for her family and eats moderately - and is kind to strangers, so what more can you ask for. Also, she remembers that I took good care of her when she was little, and didn't let her go hungry. I used to make custard desserts because she didn't like to eat eggs or drink milk. She is almost 50 now.

Jessica Seinfeld was on Oprah's show last week telling how she gets veggies into her children through purre of vegetables. I tried it this week end with a chocolate cake and deviled eggs that I took to a church luncheon. Every loved them and so that works too. www.Oprah.com

If you serve dessert, then it is part of the meal and not a reward. Just say "are you finished eating ?" Do you want dessert or not? Then do what they say, no it is not spoiling, the dessert can be nutritious too. That also is one way to teach manners, by the polite way that you treat her. Um hum, it is.

Don't let food get between you and your children. They will be fine, and you will have lots more problems that require close communication later on. So save yourself.

C. N.